>I'm about to tear up the fucking dance floor, check it out

I love how nonchalantly he says it.

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Thank you based Garland

Because of this movie, I now distort things people say to me and twist it so that it's obnoxiously arrogant. NO ONE lets it slide, it's awesome.

>>84410001
A part of me is happy Oscar Isaac is going to be set for the rest of his life because of Star Wars but the other part of me is sad that he will give up on starring in kino

>>84410001
The girl went on to work on La la land

>>84410210
give a real example or share a story

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A challenger appears

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Best part of the movie

>>84410210
>>84410867
I want this as well

>>84410769
I'm more mad that we're still decades away from sweet Robopussy.

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>>84410028
Me too. I loved the entire movie. Great setting, great music, interesting premise. My two favorite scenes were this one, and the blackout drunk scene when the dude finds the retired fuck dolls. Best sci-fi related movie in recent years for me.

>>84410001
The protag was a beta pussy and Nathan did literally nothing wrong. But you all already knew that.

>>84410001
but you tore her drawing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUqcBwQjj4k

>>84410903
>>84410867
>be in army
>doing extra duties during training exercise while our platoon leader is on leave
>friend compliments me on how I handled doing the platoon leader's role

>few days later ask him if he really thinks I could be platoon leader
>THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID
>be at a house party
>telling story about how once I autistically got stranded on a mountain during a lightning storm
>good at story telling, everyone is rolling with laughter
>little later, a cute girl tells me how I had the entire house laughing

>see her a few days later with a group of our friends
>"I was thinking about how you said I was the coolest guy at the party
>I DIDN'T SAY IT LIKE THAT


It kinda sounds lame typing it out, but it's honestly funny to see how upset people get when you twist their words. They really don't like that shit.

>>84410881
kek, this shit was so out of place

>>84410210
>>84411952
Why on earth would you act like an autist on purpose?

For the Lazy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvYPCNCGEK8

>>84412164
Just to ruffle some feathers

also because being the lonely brooding guy in the corner isn't cool anywhere except for movies.

>>84411952
i generally feel bad for you

>>84412290
Thank God. I was HOPING someone would give a youtube link. I would have searched all night.

>>84412306
There's a middle ground between being a lonely brooding guy and a jackass. Just saying.

>>84412352
kekd

>tfw autists are bragging about being autistic

i hope you're just making that up to trigger other autists

this movie sucked except for the memes.

>>84410001
DUDE
he says DUDE

>>84412439
It was no Batman vs Superman that's for sure

>>84411952
I was only ACTING retarded

I kekd though. Keep up the good work, anon.

>>84411952
>>Lamest thing I've read this year

wtf is this shit?

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>>84412356
THIS is the pinnacle of social interaction. You may not like it, but this is what peak social status looks like.

>>84412510
You've been thinking about transexuals all day haven't you anon. Even in a thread which has absolutely nothing to do with them, you just can't stop thinking about them.
How many pics of them have you saved on your computer?

>>84410881
>[Wubbeth Intensifies]

>>84410891
It's not the same without the sound

>>84412607
Here's the whole song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVToF1gHapc

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>>84410001
>DANCE OFF BRO

Oh, I always thought it was the guy from the new girl. I was wrong.

>>84410881
Everything about this movie is so fucking shit

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DANCE OFF BRO

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>>84412654

>>84411891

this one's better
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHzuO80e1zw

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>>84411952
this post doubles as a reply and as a dance-off entry

>>84412510

You're 19 years old, you don't know what peak social status is

>>84411952
>total brainlet with no social skills
>its someone in the army
Lol of course

>>84412856
I fucking love afros man. If I was black I would have a huge space helmet afro.

>>84411952
This is funny

>>84412856
fuck that dancing is hella piped

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>>84411952
this is...huh

>>84411952
good work

>>84411972
>hey want to see me dance
>yes
>*dances*
>brainlet: "that was so out of place!"

>>84412893
It's a meme you dip

>>84412797
This was such a delightful display of vaudevillian humor. I found myself immersed in chuckles as this colorful character Chaplin'd himself into my heart

>>84411952
I know someone who does this often, and I never whether he just has terribly shit memory, or he's an ass on purpose.

>>84411952
Kys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2UZ7BGRkE4

GET DOWN SATURDAY NIGHT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD1Usk0DYc0

>>84410001
So THIS, is the "de luxe" version

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I wish i could dance

>>84411952
More please

>>84410001
The moment a movie goes from movie to kino territory

>>84410001
This is the only scene in the movie that had any sort of personality.

>>84411952
>once I autistically got stranded on a mountain
how does one

Wow, didn't think people would react so much to my post.

>>84420381
I went for a nice day hike in the Rockies alone. I checked online for rain (60% chance, but I don't mind rain), but didn't stop to look at further weather conditions. Fast forward 4 hours and I'm huddled along a rock wall in torrential rain and wind that shouldn't be even possible. Fucking lightning at eye level, and to top it off, a goddamn snake was coiled up next to me (which freaked me out and I had to go search for a different shelter). When the storm eased for a bit, I ran my ass off that mountain, fell once and got a massive cut on my face. I didn't tell ANYONE where I was going that day, so it's not like help was going to come. It was a good day.

>>84419983
>be in college
>in some native american history class
>I love history, so I always answer questions in class
>teacher remarks that the Final won't be an issue for me, since I know the material almost as much as he does
>few weeks later is Final
>I don't show up

>teacher emails me about missing the final and giving me a C on it so that my grade doesn't drop too much and I obviously know the subject.
>email back "You excused me from the final a few weeks ago when you said I know the material better than you".
>I DID NOT EXCUSE YOU NOR IMPLY THAT

>>84410881
That movie just kept going

>>84411952
based anon

>It kinda sounds lame typing it out, but it's honestly funny to see how upset people get when you twist their words.
I know exactly what you mean. You should try saying something that is factually wrong but with 100% certainty you are in the right. Then when the person you're talking to objects, insist you're right. It's the funniest when it's about something really simple and inoffensive, if you do it on something a bit more serious or controversial that person might never talk to you again(which can be a good thing sometimes).

>>84422142
Alright that history class is story is autistic, you should have showed up and taken the free A+ grade or whatever the highest American grade is.

>>84422288
well i didn't show up due to some serious depression, so the email was just a sad laugh for me.

wtf is going on here

>>84411952

>Sociopath dabbles in observant assholery
>Film at 11.

>>84423120
would watch 10/10

>>84411952
cringe

>>84412968
Well, to be fair his story did make everyone at the party laugh, he must be cool.

>>84422142
>>84422288
>few weeks later is final

I'm guessing he's not American.

>>84412510
looks like some sort of biblical demon

>>84422142
based

>>84411952
I thought it was funny

>>84422142
>>84411952
>"why'd you ruin this thread?"
>"I'm about to ruin /tv/, check it out"

>>84411952
i kinda do this but i mostly just say things that are obviously wrong cause no one really gets mad and usually gets a laugh

>>84422142
post more please

>>84411952
is this the cringe thread?

>>84411952

now this is autism

>>84425307
kek

>>84411952
The kino version of bait

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>>84412352
literally all you had to do was copy OP and paste in google. Kill yourself

>>84410028
It kind of fucked with me when I saw it in theater. Really the whole movie is pretty unsettling.

>>84412856
>ywn be the token white guy on soul train

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>>84422142
based

>>84411952
I don't find this cringy at all. I say it's funny as fuck

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>>84411952

>>84426295
I don't know if I have many more. Most are honestly just small comments not even worth posting. Some took place long before this movie came out, but upon watching ex machina, I really took to that scene since Nathan did the same thing I would do.

>be in 10th grade long time ago
>work at grocery store
>carry out groceries and shit
>honestly am a pretty good worker, compared to other high school kids that fuck off all night
>boss always gives me the long jobs he wants done at night since he knows I'll do them right
>"keep this up and some day you'll be sitting in the big comfy chair"
>take his nice office chair home that night after he leaves

>come in to work next day after school and he confronts me about stealing his chair, which I did not even remotely try to hide from the cameras
>"Sir, I don't understand. You told me I could have your big comfy chair"
>I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD TAKE MY CHAIR

He wasn't too mad. he even let me drive home and bring it back while on the clock. Looking back, this is starting to sound like autism, but I got some good laughs out of it.

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>>84422142

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>>84430168

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>>84430168
hahahah what the fuck

>>84410001
Wow, you saw this movie too?

>>84430168
This is pure autism, man. It's like Winston on New Girl and pranks.

>>84430168
how do you exist

>>84431362
marry me pls

>>84410001
>this thread again
Turn on the robot for /tv/

>>84432272
so you've never seen this movie and automatically shitpost the thread?

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>>84430168
This can't be real. You're bullshitting.

>>84422142
fucking kek, based autist

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>>84430168

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>>84411952
include me in the screen cap

>>84411952
pls more
why is this funny

>>84411952
>>84422142
>>84430168
wtf bro

>>84430168
>>84422142
>>84411952
WEAPONS GRADE AUTISM

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>>84430168
>Looking back, this is starting to sound like autism

what's this thread even about

>>84410028
this movie almost makes me think that oscar issac isn't the biggest faggot in the world

he is though

>>84411952

Funny and "acceptable"

>>84422142

Funny but "unacceptable"

bump for more autist kino

>>84436493
no u

>>84410881
>and this is our son's room...

>>84437240
ok, this one doesn't paint me as overly arrogant, but it's in the same vein as the rest

>be back in highschool years
>over at friends house on a weekend night
>we are watching American History X
>best bud and this one girl that sometimes hangs out with us are flirting like mad
>decide to take a few others with me for a "beer run" so that the two of them could get some alone time
>we come back an hour later and the girl is gone but best bud has massive shit grin
>says it felt weird to fuck her while a negro was getting curb stomped but they were both horny, what could he do

>flash forward a few years, we are back in hometown during college summer break
>hang out a friends house, he brought his new college girlfriend back with him
>she remarks about how "boyish" the basement is that we would hang out in
>wonders what sort of gross things we would do down there
>"I seem to remember your boyfriend here getting really turned on by American History X"
>DUDE WHAT THE FUCK

I knew that was a bold move on my part, but the feeler I sent out was that she was a cool chick and would laugh. She thought her boyfriend was "weird", and not "haha weird thats so random :))", but "you're not the guy I thought you were" weird. Me and him didn't talk for a long time after that. He's married to someone else now and we chat regularly. That was a long term joke that aged with wine. We laugh about it now.

>>84439479
jesus christ the ride never ends

this has gone on for far too long

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>>84439479
I'm begging you please post more, this is gold

>>84427595
lol pussy

>>84430168
i'd have a beer with you

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>>84439479
PLEASE MORE

>>84422142
kek

>>84410881

Remind what song was he dancing to.

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>>84439479

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>>84411952
Y-you're so cool.

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>>84439479
Please post more. Any autistic stories of yours are welcome right now.

>>84430168
I wanted to believe but this last one provesyou're making this shit up

>>84445289
look out, cool guy

>>84439479
this is for Funnyjunk, isn't it?

>>84411952
We did it boys! Next stop /r/4chan!

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>>84410891
>get down, it's saturday night

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>>84411952
Normal people unironically do this kind of shit all the time. It is a little weird when you consciously think about it and type it out though.

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>>84444774
>>84442971
>>84440323

I've got another one for you guys, though it's not as funny. I guess I don't find my other stories funny either, so maybe you'll laugh

>recently get introduced to one of my best bud's sister
>he never talks about her cuz she's really hot
>she's also married with kids
>he knows me and my antics
>no one and nothing is safe
>he knows I can twist it so that I am always innocent
>give him some serious shit about his sexy sister
>tell him I can't wait to further our friendship by cementing it in marriage
>call him brother
>he's seething
>he's a good chap and knows I won't seriously try to fuck up their marriage
>keep at it with comments about his sister
>he grows immune and now just sarcastically agrees with me
>at one point sighs and says "sure, you two look like you were made for each other"
>jackpot

>few weeks later I ask if he needs help moving apartments
>he does, it's only him, his wife, sister, and mom. needs another lifter for the couch and shit
>when I get there, his wife comments how I was the only one of his friends to actually come and help
>after awhile we take a beer break and just bullshit
>the mom asks about my life and if I'm married
>it's time to take this to the next level:
>"single, though your son was just telling me how good of a couple me and your daughter would make"
>all the girls laugh while best bro just gives me the evil eye
>spend rest of the time helping his sister move

added bonus: best bro must have told his sister not to talk to me, because pic related happened a few days later.

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>>84411952
I can't describe this with words.

>>84443390
eminem - mom's spaghetti

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>>84447168

>>84447168
she wants the ol' dickaroo

>>84412164

Should be a 4chan banner.

>>84425307
>other anon is the set-up
>this is the punchlime

>>84447168
>>84411952
>>84422142
>>84430168
>>84439479

I honestly don't find these as funny as some of you do, but I'll try a few more to see if it keeps you guys interested

>be at bar with a best bro
>he is deploying to Kuwait in a month, so he's looking for some easy ass fairly often
>he comes back to our table with beers
>"dude, the bartender is totally gay, I'm gonna try flirting with him to see if I can score us free drinks"
>whatever, I don't mind just buying it but whatever floats his boat I guess
>spot a table of some lovely ladies
>they're a little older looking than us, but I'm the kind of person that is happy just shooting the shit with new people
>best bro heads up to get some beers, I'll head over to the girl's table. I'll give a signal if things go well and he should bring two extra drinks (for the ladies)
>I wander over and introduce myself
>totally use my bro's approaching deployment as a conversation starter
>I wave at him so that he brings extra drinks
>"that's him up at the bar. he's trying to get the bartender's number"
>best bro even gives a limp wrist gay motion to the bartender while in his act
>the girls think it's cute
>"They allow that in the military now??"
>"oh yeah, it's a new Army these days"
>bro comes back with 4 drinks
>one girl asks him how things went with the bartender
>"Oh, I'll be getting free drinks all night"
>have a great night
>tons of free drinks
>the ladies are chatty like we are both girls
>they think he's gay
>we go home alone
>bro is confused how he wasn't able to snag one of the ladies
>I never tell him my little game
>wonder why I even did it

>>84411008
This is true.

>>84448515
there is something wrong with you

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>>84430168

Thanks for the replies, bros. glad my autistic sense of humor got you all some laughs. If the thread lives on and I think of other instances, I'll post them, but I don't know if I have anything left in the tank.

>>84412797
I just..I don't understand..

>>84449894
Partly autism, partly him trying to get past the projector without fucking everything up.
At one point he's clearly thinking something like "I'll just go around the long way", then he decides he can just duck.

>>84448515
I knew where this one was going and it did not disappoint 10/10 keep 'em coming lmao

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>>84411952
ive known people like you

>>84410028
I love what its a response to,

>You tore up Ava's picture
>I'm about to tear up the fuckin dance floor dude check it out

shit gets me everytime

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>>84411952
Jesus christ....
I hope for your sake you laugh about it and let them in on the joke after.

>>84410881
Anthonyfantanolistenstodeathgripsnewalbum.webm

>>84410891
I find her underwear off putting

>>84439479
i love you

These were lame.OP grow the fuck up and stop acting like an autist.

>>84453039
He never lost anything though

>>84430168
ALPHA AUTISM

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>>84425307

>>84425307
this thread is fucking gold