Well Anon, doesn't feel so funny anymore does it?

>>84379664
I've borked a lot of women in my days

no complaints here, hilarious movie.

>>84379664
Ten years of wizard powers

no complaints here, hilarious movie.

>>84379664
still 29

gonna kill myself at 29 la

I'm too retarded to even get a job

>>84379664

Yeah it does, that's what makes it so great

>>84379712
you can buy a house for $100 in detroit
move there and elance

>>84379733
I'm Australian

>>84379712
Become a monk.

>>84379712
>I'm too retarded to even get a job
Do you know how stupid the average person is? If you're capable of spelling a 3-syllable word like "retarded", you're capable of showing up on time, and you're capable of not stealing from employers, you're already ahead of millions of people in the job market.

>>84379744
it's legal to move to america illegally

>>84379705
>Widescreen presentation
Widescreen is such cancer I wish pan and scan would make a comeback already that actually focuses only on what matters instead of just fojewmko jiyur eyes ij wht information.

>>84379705
>look at image
>What's so hard about it?
>look closer at guys who are her options
>their facial expressions
>yeah, i sympathize with her

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Unrealistic movies general?

>>84379712
>>84379744
where in Aus do you live faggot?
there are so many entry level jobs or apprenticeships in construction right now on the east coast it's insane. man up.

>>84379749
I dropped out of high school due to massive amounts of social anxiety and depression

My brain can't function around other people.

>>84379796
I also am unironically probably autistic

>>84379780
He also can't masturbate so yeah it's pretty unrealistic cause if I were Josh Hartnett I' dbe beateiog n off everytdatye uejofiver where my career olis going .

>>84379807
That's okay, most of us here are autistic too

I've had sex plenty of times but it's been like 7 years since I fucked someone who isn't a prostitute. sad desu

>>84379810
Did you have a stroke mid way through your comment?

>>84379850
yo bro

>>84379796
Ah, got it. Well, you do ok interacting with people online, it seems. Perhaps you can figure out how to make money online. I figure that there will be more and more opportunities to do so as time goes on. Me, I'm a software developer and I've managed to find a pretty sweet job in which I can work from home about 99% of the time.

>>84379872
yo

>>84379868
No i just refute to look back on anyr mistakes I makein lfeij.

>>84379664
6 more years to go, bros. im almost there.

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>>84379664
24 but more than likely gonna lose it a few weeks the way things are going. The anxiety this has caused me almost makes me regret trying to become a normie.

>>84379965
Who cares. If you're not a welfare babby, you'll likely move away from home for a job at some point, then you can just lie to everyone about it.

>>84379897

Seek medical help

>>84379780
The movie where the man gets rapped and the women still blame him.

>>84379712
>la
Are you from Singapore?

>>84379835
No you're not, moron

>>84379664
I was in my 20s when this movie came out. 40 is now fast approaching and I'm still a virgin. Strangely I'm not too worried about it, just going to keep doing my thing and whatever happens happens. At least I have a lot of money saved up.

>>84380228
Ya la chibai. How you know ah?

I'm not going to have sex ever

>>84380299
You're not going to have a choice, fish

Could have been laid a dozen times over, but every single time I turned them down.

Get on my level.

>>84380273
I'm about 13 months away from being a 30 year old virgin. I'll probably just fuck some well reviewed escort between now and then.

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>used to spend every birthday wish on getting laid
>gave up like 8 years ago

why is everybody so old on this board lmao

>>84380416
Fuck two well reviewed escorts at once you rich motherfucker.

>>84380480
Kids don't watch movies, they play video games and hang out on kik

>>84380385
>get on my level

Could have been laid a dozen times over, but every single time I couldnt get it up

>>84379664
no it's pretty funny

>>84380297
>How you know

Jesus you really are retarded.

>>84380549
shut the fuck up faggot

>>84380261
when i shat my pants at school i grabbed my trousers in the air taking them back to class so i can backpack it, while everyone was still in there

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>>84379796
Don't let those wagecucks get you down bro. They're just jealous of your freedom.

26 and only done stuff with escorts. Would be completely everyhingless with girls otherwise, not even had a date or attention.

>>84379760
Not if you're white.

>>84379712
taxi driver here dont give up

Its just like the classic movie!

>>84380478
Just fucking get an escort you pathetic pussy

Meh, I never thought it was funny. Even when it first came out and I was in middle school I worried this would be me. Damn, I was way too good at predicting my future.

>>84379965
I lost mine at 25. I started attracting women when I stopped giving a shit and started acting like an ass.

>>84380594
>illegal
>don't even know how and would probably get arrested for being a virgin

>>84380565
Why wait? Just kill yourself now.

>>84380575
How is it with escorts?

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>have sex
>can't cum
>have sex again
>can't cum
>have sex again
>can't cum
>have sex AGAIN
>can't cum
>have sex again
>pretend to cum so I don't hurt her feelings
>have sex again
>can't cum

5 different girls and I still can't cum. What is wrong with me

>>84379744
Explains it

>>84380680
you can't cum lmao

>>84380680
you drunk the jew water

>>84380680
you a big fan of death grips?

>>84379785
>dude just don't have a mental illness bro and get a job lmao
fuck off wagie scum

>>84380678

It varies. If you live in a country where it's legal and you look online for ones with many good reviews then you will get a good experience.

>>84380680
I have the opposite problem.
>have s-cum
>hav-cum
>cum then have se-cum

The weirdest thing is they all left me because we were having less sex because I was drinking too much.

>>84380652
>being this retarded

Google your city + "escorts" and you will find a craigslist/backpage dumbass.

>>84380570
Great, that should be enough for a diagnosis!

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>call escort
>forget to do prefap cumsies
>she arrives
>8 minute toothy blowjob
>benis in vagina
>cum in 15 seconds
>"that'll be $200 plus tip"

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>>84380000

Seek help for those digits.

>>84379705
>that quote on the back
>not attributed to anybody
Lel

>>84380416
You idiot. Just fuck her the day after you get your powers. Best of both worlds brah

>>84380385
Why, were they ugly? Were they assholes? Were they men/women (depending on your orienration)?

>>84380677
no u

>>84380478
It really doesn't matter that much m8
You can't hurry love
No you'll just have to w8

>>84380680
Are you on SSRI's by any chance? Because I couldn't cum when I was with the rare woman I tricked into sleeping with me and I was worried I was gay, but then my life started turning good and I stopped taking them and I haven't had a problem since in that regard. If not SSRI's then you're probably a porn/masturbation addict and your body has been trained to cum in a very specific, solitary way and it's now hard to do with another person present

>>84379664
Hey, I was never laughing. I wanted him to get laid. I want to get laid

>>84380843
it's a game of w8 and b8

>>84379664
>be 22 like me
>still haven't borked women
20s is still gonna be alright, right /r9ktv/?

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Who /stillwatingfortheirfairytaleprincess/ here?
Stay pure virginbros.

>>84380824
Nah. I just have this retarded, old school notion of relationships, and I feel it's worthless to fuck for the mere sport of it. It loses its meaning and detracts from the feeling of having sex with someone you actually care about. And I can nut whenever I want - it's cheaper and less hassle than dealing with women.

I'd be lying though if I said I didn't regret a few of them. Instinctively, I do want to fuck everything that moves, and some of them would probably have been a pretty good lay. The ones I regret were not the prettiest of the bunch, either.

>>84380000
He's just drunk, relax

>>84380981
That's a strange way of rationalizing being afraid of losing your virginity

>>84380830
I'm not a pathetic retard who pushing 30 and suicidal because I can't get a job, so I'm good. Go right ahead though.

>>84380680
maybe you're gay and you just don't know it

>>84380755
Don't even have internet friends, not sure how you expect me to meet up with a girl.

>>84381015
You can think what you want.

>>84381041
Here's a notion. Try caring about someone and have sex with them.

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>>84379664
Joke's on you, I'm only a 32 year old virgin and my life is in far worse shape than his.

>>84381057
Thanks, Dr. Phil.

>>84381015
this

>>84379785
What companies? I'm interested, live in Gold Coast

>>84381015
>>84381057
>>84381131
Here's your (You).

>>84380981
No, I completely understand. I would never fuck someone I wasn't in love with either.

>>84380981
>It loses its meaning and detracts from the feeling of having sex with someone you actually care about.

How would you know if you're a virgin?

>>84380680
How frequently do you masturbate and how tight is your grip?

>>84379780
I think the producers realized this and put the "Lol I can do that. Yeah but you masturbate" Line in the commercials for it.

>>84379705
Seems raunchy

>>84379705
why is it still called "losing" your virginity while retaining is the form of the action that is frowned upon?
it should be something like "gaining your socially acceptable status against peer pressure" at this point

>>84379664
I've had and can get pussy, I just have no interest in perpetually jumping through flaming hoops for it when I have access to limitless amounts of pornography.

>>84379664
It's coming up for me really soon.

Should I rewatch it on my birthday?

Bros,stop watching porn. I mean it. I am a handsome guy who works out but limp dick screwed me over more than once (no pun intended)

>student trip
>girl who looks like isla fisher comes into my bed because "her roommate is an asshole"
>jokes about how much she loves cuddling and I say be my guest
>we cuddle for a while
>no activity whatsoever down there
>she says she is gonna go back to her room

>a younger sister of friend moves into town near me
>asks me to watch the movies at her apartment because she is lonely
>get there and we start making out
>she even grinds herself against me
>nothing


The sad thing is that I still masturbate to these experiences and when I do,I am rock hard.

>>84381621
fuck off normie faggot.

>>84381634
Lol,you think I am normie? You know what my Chad friend suggested to me when I told him about the Isla Fisher girl?

>Why didn't you ask her to suck you off,that's what I do when I can't get it up.

>>84381755
>>Why didn't you ask her to suck you off,that's what I do when I can't get it up.

Filing this away into my knowledge banks. You can honestly learn a lot from Chads, I lost my virginity after studying how my Chad friend interacted with women and then doing a glib facsimile of it

Shouldn't you normies be outside, doing stuff?

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>>84379664
10 more years

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>>84379664
I hate that this movie was made by people who have no idea why anyone couldn't have sex
They can't just imagine that

They made that he got traumatized at his first attempt to sex
This is so lame and unrealistic

>>84381813
When I was eating this girl out I was hard and when she started sucking me I went soft
You never know how this shit will work anon

>>84382240
should have went 69

>>84379664
>tfw you only have 3 years left

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>>84379705
>congratulations senors
Is this movie Spanish?

>>84382266
Im 1.93 m
She was 1.61 m
69 is a luxury I have yet to taste

reminder that nobody cares about your feeling and that
-men love to overestimate their performance in bed
-men love to be praised by any woman
-men love to underestimate the lust of women
-men love to underestimate the boredom of women
-there is nothing more boring to a woman than to be fucked over and over by only one man
-men love to think that women love men like women love children
-women are in heat all year long
-women see no reward for faithfulness
-women see the reward for sleeping around
-women see no reward for their virginity
-women do not desire to have only one provider for sex
-women do not desire to stay virgin
-women do not know how to stay virgin
-women do not desire to be prude
-women despise nonguly asexual men
-women fear of being asexual

-the only gift a man possesses by his sheer existence is to be left alone if he wants it, but ofc very few men want this since very few men kill their infatuation with their spook of ''society'' and women.

>>84382370
It still works anon, I'm 187 and my gf is 154; goes down a treat.

>>84382620
>virgin neckbeard thinks he knows how the world works