My buddy fell in a vat of acid, man he had a really bad trip.

...alright

this comedy threads off to a great start

>>84362963
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.

my mom tried to sell me on an IUD, man she had a really bad pitch

>>84362963
so the other day I was shooting heroin on my tour bus and we hit a big bump and I accidentally pushed down on the plunger and overdosed and died? you know what I mean right folks? right?

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

they say it's a fight to the finish, that's a good place to end

>>84362963

file under "d"

for "donut"

Mitch was never fucking good. Only you fucking autists like him

>>84363745
Only good one here

>>84363808
So I was talking to some rude guy online, and when I gave him some really meta commentary he could only come up with some shitty response.

>>84363808
He was pretty good at what he wanted to do with his one liners. A shame he had such a hard time doing what he did and resorted to numbing himself to death

last time I called shotgun was in a limo, so I fucked up

I used to do drugs, I still do, but I used to too.

I know a lot about cars, man, one look at the headlights and i can tell you which way it's comin'

File: IMG_3912.jpg (9KB, 216x288px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 216x288px

I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. It was a good job but you couldn't park anywhere NEAR the place.

DUDE WEED LMAO

>>84363808
mitch was based because he only did jokes. he didn't whine about his weight, kids, politics or whatever.

>>84364005
Much better comedian

>>84362963
Man, Steven Wilson really let himself go.

escalator temporarily stairs

sorry for the convenience

>>84363914
classic. Fucking classic, man.

Reddit: the comedian

Chicken is melting, ham is frozen in air... we really shouldnt come to Salvador Deli

File: 599.png (37KB, 394x440px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 394x440px

>>84365192
But Reddit isn't funny

>>84362963
>a banana is just like a traffic light but opposite
>green means hold on
>yellow means go ahead
>and red means where the fuck did you get that banana?