>you will never get to live in the shire

>>84361701
>win lottery
>build your own Shire

>when will they learn

>no wifi

>>84361701
Do they have a kinoplex?

>>84361701

You will never see the cleansing of the shire and the proper ending of lotr

>>84361741
Realistically how much would this cost? How many acres would you need to build a satisfactory Shire?

>>84361701

Go live in a Holler it's pretty much the same thing but with drunk rednecks.

>>84361701
>the shire is a harmonious and productive community for hundreds of years
>orc refugees turn it into a living hell within a few weeks
really bombadiled my bombadillos.

>>84362427
>The only men that side with Sauron are the non-whites
What did Tolkien mean by this?

>>84362506

Didn't Tolkien grow up in South Africa?

>>84362336
10 acres. I grew up on 5, and that was plenty (the plot was a bit thin, so 2 plots side-by-side would be perfect). I don't know much about building permits, but theoretically, a hobbit hole is nothing but basement. You could probably build about 2-3 hobbit holes for the cost of one average house.

If you are trying to build an actual Hobbiton, with an Overhill and Underhill then you are going to be looking at some tough engineering problems, but it's probably not as bad as you'd think.

>>84361701
I live in rural England so close enough, just with more pylons.

>>84361701
I think it's pretty easy to emigrate to New Zealand actually, assuming you're not some worthless NEET (who isn't independently wealthy)

>>84362336
$5m

>>84362633
I'd do with 600 acres for proper boarder buffering. Plop it right in the middle. Though, anything with 100 acres or more will work if you have the right setup. Like having it ringed with trees at the boarder and having the right shape for hills and valleys to help block the view of other properties.

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>>84362157
>Win lottery
>Build shire
>Move in /tv/ nerds and we enjoy the underground kinoplex together with no singles policy and free of penis inspections
>We all stumble home drunkenly after

>>84362336
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix11VQ8f7uY
This babe bought 5 1/2 acres for 18k and built a hobbit house.

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>>84362781
Sounds great until you realise there would be no chicks

>>84362781
>build the Shire
>has electricity

dumb frogposter

>>84362781

>Free of penis inspections

You can't stop me from bringing the school nurse

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>>84361701
>>you will never get to live in the shire
but i do, Brecknockshire

>>84362690
You'd have to be loaded with $ to buy that. Anyone in this thread with a full time job could realistically snag 10 acres and build a dream hobbit hole. Might have to relocate, but it is very possible.

>>84362506
because they are tainted just like Sauron

>>84362582
he did

>>84362582
Born there, left when he was 3

>>84361701
>>84361701
How does a hobbit house work exactly? How does it drain water away from the rooms? I imagine it must be hell to fix the roofs if there's a leak. Also air conditioning.

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>>84363030
These are the questions Tolkien doesn't address and that I wanted to explore, because real life isn't a fairy tale.

>>84362821
How's that any different than now?

>>84363030
What was the Shires property tax policy?

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>>84363188
Touche

>>84361701
there is no comfier fictional setting than this, maybe blade runner. but thats it.

>>84362427
Months. It took them a long time to get all the way back from Gondor.

>>84362336
The shire itself is like 30,000 square miles, which is larger than the state of new jersey.
If you just mean building a hobbit hole, not much really. Like most earthworks its very energy efficient and well insulated.

>>84362794
I want to smell her butt

>>84363291
>blade runner
>big polluted city where you're surrounded by hordes of chinks everywhere
>comfy

pick one

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>>84362888
Berkshire reporting in

Or just go visit the thing

It still exists

Loads of plebs like you go every year

>>84363291
>blade runner
Anon its a crumbling dystopia choked in radioactive dust and people that are too stupid to leave for a better life in the offworld colonies.

>>84361701
I'd rather live in Rivendell desu.

>>84361701
The Shire was only comfy for rich gentlemen like Bilbo. The poor toiled in the fields as peasant farmers (not Farmer Maggot who was a plantation owner)

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>>84362794
>you will never break into her hobbit house and rape her

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>>84361701
you mean you want to live in a tiny irrelevant assortment of huts and do nothing but work menial labor, get drunk, and shag ugly midgets all day?

why my friend, just come to Ireland.

>>84363264
Property taxes are based on the assessed value unless the market value is lower. Unless your friendly with the dwarf king, you didn't have to pay a dime.

>>84363518
or Wales