ITT: Things you've experienced that only happen in movies

>>84336282
that bitch was a dracula

Did he died

>>84336282
pics/vid or it didn't happen

>>84337180
That''s illegal.

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>>84336282
>"Woke Up This Morning" playing in my car
>Turn off engine as I pull into my driveway
>Hear the song is still playing
>Get out
>The neighbours are playing it on their outdoor speakers
>Head inside and the song ends as I slam the door shut
>The "Sopranos" title appears in front of me
>mfw

>>84337819
No cause you were just photographing your steering wheel

>woke up
>fell out of bed
>dragged a comb across my head
>Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
>And looking up, I noticed I was late

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>playing Pokémon at the card game store
>county tournament
>shuffle my Ludicolo EX delta species to the top of my deck
>get caught and have to hand in my county badge
>and your other badge

>>84338424
What is this from?

>>84338572
Gey

>>84338789
Pretty cool story honestly, where the hell do you live making 2000$ washing cars

>>84338789
You realize you're needlessly endangering yourself.

>>84339026
South Florida area.

>>84339033
He is a drug selling degenerate, he doesn't give a shit. These people lack a developed prefrontal cortex.

"ayyo mr. officer I saw dis punk ass I knew from da day and I was like "Yo sup faggot" and he was all like "fuck you say bitch?" so my homeboy slim flashed his gat but you know it's all good dawg he gotta permit and shit, but den yo homie be like straight runnin out dis bitch so yo what da problem is?"

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>>84336539>>84336282


I need to know where this happen pls

>>84339487
Where do you get the water though?

>>84338424
>>84338789
My time isn't valuable at all and I still feel like I wasted it reading all of that.

>>84336282
just like in my animes

>>84339666
Good

>>84338326
>Woke up this morning
>With a cow tied round my head
>Went to get some spoons
>But the spoons were in the shed

>At the bus stop with friends
>I'm pretty drunk
>The bus almost crashes into a speeding car
>Tall buff bald guy with tattoos everywhere jumps out of the car and begins yelling at the bus driver while waving his wallet around
>That's the funniest shit to me for some reason and I start laughing
>Friends sweating bullets and telling me to shut up, but I don't know why
>Bald guy turns to waving his wallet at us and asking for the wiseass who's laughing
>I shut up because he was a big guy and could fuck me up
>He gets back into the car and leaves
>The following day, all sobered up, I mention the incident to my friends
>They tell me that what my drunken mind perceived as a wallet was actually a gun and the dude was threatening to go ballistic on everyone if he heard another laugh

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>>84336282
That was you? My wife told me there was a fat fuck waddling to the car with his mom and oggling us before she drained my blood.

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>>84337854
>"when you walk through the garden" begins playing randomly in my house
>I begin teleporting randomly to places in Western Baltimore
>I see random names floating in Baltimore
>bunch of black guys start yelling at me

>>84338424
>>84338789

What happened?

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I always miss the good posts.
>mfw

>>84341255
>>84341344
I told my story. Mods couldn't handle some real nigga shit. Not gunna type that shit again.

>>84336282
Only shitty, quirky Kevin Smith movies do shit like that

>>84341255
>>84341344
https://archived.moe/tv/thread/84336282/

You can see the tl;dr posts there.

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>be in high school
>in Florida for spring break
>walking around my grandma's retirement community with two friends drinking beers
>it's maybe 12:30 a.m.
>just walking around and suddenly I hear something I'll never forget
>"TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF, PLEASE!!!"
>wut
>"ALL YOU'RE DOING IS SITTING THERE!!!"
>laughing so hard we all have to haul ass out of there
>never got a chance to peek into the window to get context
>mfw

>>84336282
You witnessed a vampire attack, anon.

Decades from now, when you've all but forgotten that day, she's going to come back for you.

>>84340070
Sure is great living in Murrica. Where any psycho can get a gun.

>>84341612
Inshallah brother

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>riding in a Lyft
>bullshit with driver
>he says something about his family
>"My brother...."
>staring mindlessly out window as he's talking
>driving past a bar
>looking at a sign out front at exact same moment he says those words
>this is the name of the bar
>I'm in the fucking Matrix

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I lived a montage of loneliness and despair when one day on a whim I decided to try to log into my schoolboy MySpace account that I hadn't used in ten years. I looked around soaking in nostalgia when I noticed I had 1 unread message:

>[name] I've looked all over the internet for you but this is all I can find, I doubt you will ever get this message but you're all I've ever wanted.
>I'll be coming back to [country] in a few days and will search high and low for you <3
>t. [That oneitis you had at school who you mutually lost your virginity to but she had to move away with her family and has kept her slit shut for you ever since]

My heart skipped a beat and I felt amazing briefly before I thought that this message might be 8yrs old. I checked.

>Message sent 30 minutes ago

Suddenly I'm a hysterical woman believing in fate and true love as why the fuck else would I sign in on a whim on this day at this time? I composed myself and replied, spilling my guts, she sent me her phone number and we continued from there.

I met her at the airport wearing the same clothes I did in my youth, partly to try to be romantic in some failed way but mainly because I was a poorfag and never bought any clothes as I had nowhere to go.
We stared at each other smiling, I felt like I could cry, we had a huge kiss right in the lobby and spent all day walking and talking.
This was the first day of the rest of my life.

She stayed the night with me and we spoke further, she was the first person I told the unabashed truth to without shame. I was in love and felt she was too. I shared dark, shameful truths and she did too.
When we our facades were stripped naked and saw the truth of one another, our bodies followed suit. I fucked the living daylights out of her all night. It was ethereal.

>>84341864
Wow good for you low tier Chad. Go die in a car crash.

>>84341505
>Human nerd is stalked by sexy vampire succubus who is oddly attracted to him.

Sounds kino. Would watch.

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>>84341864

The next morning was great, morning sex then she cooked breakfast and we lay in bed talking about marriage and children. It was moving fast as fuck but it felt so right. She wanted to take her résumé around the city looking for work and I decided to go with her as I had "errands".
I was actually going to buy an engagement ring for her in the same style as her mothers ring that was stolen when she was abroad.

So that's what we did. We agreed to meet at 1500 at the bench where we first kissed over a decade ago. It was the beginning of autumn just as it was back then and this is where I would propose.

So fast forward to 1459, I'm sat on this bench feeling like I'm enlightened with happiness. All my self doubt, neuroses, anger, hate and general disgust with life and the world has been wiped out. My face aches from smiling so much. I'm sat on the bench grinning at passers-by with a 4-figure engagement ring in the pocket of my Slayer: Reign in Blood hoodie. At ten minutes past I send a text saying I'm there waiting. Another at twenty past. I give her a call at half past and it goes to voicemail. I continue to sit at the bench ringing her every fifteen minutes for the next 3 hours.
I decide to walk around town, afraid she has had an accident or had her phone stolen but having nowhere specific to look for her.
I spend a good 4 hours around town before heading home. Maybe she's sat there waiting for me, her phone stolen, and we'll unite once again and continue our pure romance.

I didn't sleep that night. Her phone was off now. I walked around town. Still blindly optimistic.

After 6 hours of walking I sat at the bench again. Then I saw her in the distance, she was with somebody. She turned and saw me, waved and continued walking around a corner.
I was confused and followed. She was gone. I walked on.
She emerged from a store behind me, calling my name. She was with some guy. She said it was a friend. I recognised his smile. Never saw her again.

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>>84340070
>he was a big guy

>>84336282
isn't this an old pasta? or maybe I've just seen the same guy post the same story more than once.

>go to uni
>sittin down eating breakfast
>party rockers starts playing
can't make this shit up

>>84342632
I don't get it. Is the ending from a song or something?

>>84336282
>>84340070

Am I being memed here? I've heard both these stories before.

>>84339487
delete this

>>84345546
I'm curious too.