‘Wheel of Time’ TV Series Lands at Sony

>>84251057
>with Sony Pictures Television.
>Sony

It's dead Jim.

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>Sony

>>84251057
Shit was tedious and boring, couldn't make it past book 4. Stormlight Archive is where it is at.

>>84253902
Go on.

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>>84251057
>Sony

>>84251057
AYO HOL UP
*Smooths Skirt*
YOU BE SAYIN
*Tugs braid*
IS WE FINNA BE
*Sniffs contemptuously*
SONY MUTHAFUGGIN
*Adjusts shawl*
PICTURES TELEVISION
*Berates men*

>>84256732
lol

>>84251057
Ive heard this book series has a ton of femdom so i hope they make a show with a ton of waifus

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giv aes sedai gf

>>84257665
Oh there's tons. There's Amazons, femdom, tomboys, prim and proper girls, tsundere girls and more.
But since its at Sony it won't get to that stage. RIP WOT

Also why did Sanderson have to fuck up so badly on Tarmon Gaidon bros?

>>84251057
>tugs braid

>>84253902
>>84254067
What's there to go on with? Sanderson is finally writing something decent. Even if he does have problems with sexuality due to being a mormon.

>>84259064
The only weird thing about Sanderson's relationships is how all of the arranged marriages work out so well.

>>84257697
>You will never be a Warder for a qt Green

>>84259104
statistically they work out better in the real world. It has a lot more to do with the fact both families have stake in it being successful though and are done in cultures where the family is actually around to support the couple, instead of white people land where they kick out kids at 18 for them to gather debt.

>>84259151
>she literally cucks you with her fourth warder

didn't an entire race of channelers from a far away land show up and basically win the war for the good guys? Couldn't be bothered to read it all

>>84259353
>didn't an entire race of channelers from a far away land show up and basically win the war for the good guys?
No those were the bad guys. They showed up halfway through the final battle and btfo most of the good guys.

This vs the witcher. Which will be the next big fantasy show?

>>84259471
Neither. Sony will fuck WOT up and Netflix will fuck up Witcher.

>>84253902
>>84259064
>Stormlight Archive
>world concepts that are mildly interesting but end up staying just shallow ideas, muh magic system, mediocre writing/characters, ultimately unlively and boring
>good
It's just more YA fantasy slop from a stunted Mormon manchild. You enjoy shit.

MEN EVUL! the tv series

>>84256732
Anon, you're such a woolhead.

>>84251057
>20 seasons of boring shit
Can't wait bros

>>84257697
OFFICIAL AES SEDAI AJAH GF POWER RANKINGS:

>marry tier
Green

>fuck tier
Red
Brown
White
Black
Gray

>kill tier
Blue

>it's a "Rand lists the names of girls he know that died for an hour while pausing occasionally to laugh like a retard" episode
>it's a "Mat wears girls' clothes and takes it up the ass" episode
>it's a "Perrin marries the worst character in the series" episode

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>>84259151

>>84259151
>>84261883
>wanting an aeslutai

>>84259104
Arranged marriages + societies that don't allow divorce result in lifelong marriages and stable homes for children.
>but muh feelings
>what if I don't really love him
>but I want to find myself until I'm 35 and then spent thousands of dollars trying to get my dried up ovaries to work
The west is falling apart because the family is dead.

>>84251057

redpill me on this series

is it similar to game of thrones? i just want to see politics and knights and shit

>>84264735
It isn't

>>84259064
Wait, Sanderson is a mormon? Explains so much...

>>84259353 see >>84259427
and they were black and did not understand language and walked on all fours like apes lol

>Demandred practicing at the sword gym
>Almost manages to beat LTT yet again
>Reaches for his LTT brand protein shake, before he showers with LTT brand body wash and shampoo
>Goes home to his apartment just below the penthouse directly opposite a billboard with LTT's face on it

>>84265255
>LTT
wat

>>84265345
>New range of LTT brand condoms come out
>Demandred buys a pack instantly
>Runs back home
>Puts one on
>It's slightly too big for him
>I win again, Barid bel

>>84265377
>LTT
wat

>>84265410
>turns on tv
>watches everybody loves LTT, 13th season
>reads book
>LTT fast times at paaran disen high
being demandred is suffering

>>84265437
>LTT
wat

>>84265487
>Alarm goes off
>Demandred wakes up to the"Good Morning With the Lord of the Morning" radio broadcast

>>84265495
>radio
wat

>>84265487
>>84265495
>10 minute monologue on the mind-blowing ter'angreal enhanced sex he had with Ilyena last night
>Demandred's at home listening, crying in his LTT pyjamas

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>fire up the black and white bird to hire a sho-wing and head to arcade to take mind off of Ilyena
>pop a Paaran Disen-weight gold-pressed cuendillar token in the Chair of Remorse, load Swords Fighter II
>begrudgingly select Lews to spam Chicken Crossing the Road
>beat final boss (also Lews)
>final score: 29999

>>84265526
>LTT
wat

>>84265600
>Heads into work
>Gets mistaken for LTT twice on the way in
>Contemplates suicide twice
>Check Dragonbook
>Ilyena posted another album of family pictures
>tfw no gf

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>record scratches
>"You are probably wondering why I have only one arm, carry a glass sword and walk with two well dressed women in smooth silken skirts into the Pit of Doom"
>"Lets go back in time a bit..."
>screen flips to Mierin boring through the fabric of reality in the search for alternative energy
>"Woah, not that far"
>flips to Lews Therin creating Dragonmount
>"Okay lets go with that..."

>>84251057
>unnecessarily long books where nothing happens

Is this where George RR Martin learned his art?

>>84265728
>LTT
wat

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>>84265769
>Yep. That's me.

>>84251057
>Sony
it's already fucked

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>>84265774

>Perrin sniffed Rand. Rand smelled like a crazy motherfucker.
>"Rand," said Perrin, "You smell like a crazy motherfucker."
>"Sorry, what?" Said Rand, "I wasn't listening, this chair was talking to me with the voice of one of the wives from my past lives. By the way, have I mentioned that the rivers will run red with the blood of those who defy me?"
>"Yes, about twenty-seven times in the past half-hour."
>"Very good. What was that you were saying, Perrin?"
>"That you're totally bonkers, Rand, you're completely fucking cracked."
>"Great. So you'll do exactly what I tell you to?"
>"Well sure, Rand, ole buddy ole pal, what else are friends for?'
>"Fantastic," said Rand, "Now if you'll excuse me I'm late to be bitched out by two of my three wives."

>>84264735
Of the 14 novels and 3.3 million words the entire series is comprised thusly:

22%: Sexist all-female mages thinking they can rule the world and politicking how to do it in endless detail.

12%: The three separate, interesting male leads with a lord of the rings style squad of companions, riding somewhere.

20%: The uninteresting female leads all together riding somewhere with one or two companions that barely count as bearable. Oh, and a cool chick with a bow. Eventually.

5%: Battles and actual swordplay, which is well written and makes for a great read.

5%: Magic used in duels or on a military scale which is well written and makes for a great read.

<1%: Anyone interesting does something other than talk about things they plan to do, or going somewhere to do them.

55+%: A female is upset about something.

If you've noticed that's 120%, that's not an error. It's so tedious it feels 20 percent longer than it is, minimum.

What the fuck is LTT?

>>84265868
lel

>>84266007
Which category does Rand beheading entire caravans based on a hunch then using the power to make their headless bodies bow down to him fit into?

>>84266007
That's so accurate I'm saving that post for anyone who asks about this series.

>>84266007
You forgot 9% male characters talking about how scary women are and trading proverbs about how they should be obeyed without question

>>84251057
>Sony

Dead on arrival.

> Wheel of Time

Nothing of value was lost. Imagine an even drearier GoT with less violence and more longwinded stretches of nothing happening. Only it's not the comfy wandering of Lord of the Rings either. It's not even edgy pulp like Elric.

It's really just shit. And I stuck with it for years. Then the author died leaving it unfinished.

>>84266233
>male characters talking about how scary women are and trading proverbs about how they should be obeyed without question

Truly a show for this era.

>>84266142

The one time that happened it was awesome. After book ~3 all of Rand's insanity were just dialogues between him and LTT. Don't try to make it to be cooler than it could have been.

>>84266371
Rand going insane in a box was pretty cool too. Also the time where he goes to the city with a giant ter'angreal simulating a stedding and murders a bunch of rogue Asha'men. Also...

wait, there are lots of alsos. That doesn't seem to be a good summary.

>>84266233
...As a consequence of a female upset about something.

>>84266371
>LTT
wat

>>84251057
>SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>>84251057
>Sony will produce along with Red Eagle Entertainment and Radar Pictures. Rafe Judkins is attached to write and executive produce. Judkins previously worked on shows such as ABC’s “Agents of SHIELD,” the Netflix series “Hemlock Grove,” and the NBC series “Chuck.”

KEK no thanks

>>84266460
>5%: Battles and actual swordplay, which is well written and makes for a great read.

Including all the alsos in this, along with Dumai's wells, the battle against the shaido, killing all the forsaken, the first three books fights and the last battle. That's still accurate.

>>84266539
Dumai's wells counts but Rand innabox is auxiliary and is not counted as an also. I guess Far Madding counts but it's so unusual I feel that adding it as an also isn't doing it justice. There are so many more odd alsos, too.

>>84266084
lews therin telamon

>>84265809
That's Matt you fucking nerd.

>>84258999
Trips of terrifying truth

>>84265922
>two of my three wife's

RAND YOU STUPID IDIOT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MARRY YOU'RE CHILDHOOD CRUSH!

>>84267728
>Childhood crush hooks up with jobber, both die in the last battle
Truly the worst anime

>>84267791
*JTTS

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>>84253902
Stormlight is an incredibly mediocre piece of anime-tier fiction.
May as well read light novels!

>>84259064
Sanderson writes about sex-related stuff all the time.
It's a meme that he doesn't because he's a Mormon.

>>84268091
Post Sanderson's naughtiest paragraph.

>>84251057
>sony

it'll be shit

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>>84268133
I'm not going to flick through 1000s of pages to find it.
Also, not having graphic sex scenes doesn't mean someone has a problem with writing about sex, they're just not a fucking degenerate like GRRM or Terry Goodkind.

>>84268225
Disappointed. Can you even summon one naughty paragraph of Sanderson's, even if it isn't his naughtiest?

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>>84268263
No, because I'm not autistic enough to remember the contents of every book and which books in a particular series a saucy scene is in.

>>84268339
Can you at least vaguely describe the scene you had in mind when you made the comment?

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>>84268423
No.

>>84266084
Lewis Therin m8

>>84268599
wat

>>84267791
>implying she died
The flame of tar valon is the opposite of balefire and preserves in crystal instead of erasing. She's in stasis along with Mazrim Taim and his sa'angreal

>>84266320
fuck off tard

>>84266320
Fuck off retard

>>84268817
Taim was killed by those crazy foxes wasn't he?

Perrin will be a nigger.

Mat will be asian.

Half the girls will be pocs.

Niggers everywhere.

Mark my words.

>>84251057
>WoT TV show
>Sony
>mfw
>>84258999
>Also why did Sanderson have to fuck up so badly on Tarmon Gaidon bros?
Because RJ was a Vietnam vet and armchair military history buff, who understood warfare, its effect on the human psyche, and how to write about it. Sanderson, on the other hand, is a mormon

>>84251057
I just hope the trollocs look good

>>84267728
>being dumb enough to marry Egwene
Only one person is dumb enough to do that and I'm pretty sure Gawyn ended up choosing suicide by Demandred

>>84269231
nah. It's Moiraine and Lan who will be black and asian respectively. 3 seasons of praise as enlightened PoCs tell silly white bois what to do.
Ensuring chimp out in season 4 when Rand makes Moiraine work on his terms.

All Forsaken will be made white, with the exception of Lanfear. All Aiel will be changed to PoCs as well

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>>84269403
he would be a good lan desu
Shienarans seem Asian anyway

>>84269297
The trollocks will be white cis men.

>>84269231

There are some dark skinned people in Rand Land. I think some were supposed to be analogs of Indians.


Anyway, it's gonna suck because

a. No nudity, and the books are fucking full of gratuitous nudity. Even for cool stuff like taking their tests only clothed in the Light
b. Even if we get nudity, we're not gonna get "ample bosoms" because Hollywood hates actually busty women. Like anything over a D cup is unimaginable to them to put on film when in reality most of the women are basically Nadine Jansen levels of boobage.
c. All of the retarded levels of gore will be cut out.

These books aren't smart or deep, so indulging in sex and violence and nerd fantasy is basically all they have.

>>84258999

>tfw Sony fucks up all of the waifus

I had to put down the first book, holy shit it's so slow. And it gets slower. Dropped that shit like a hot brick

Speaking of adaptations, is the Hyperion movie/television series moving forward?

>>84269778
its moving backwards

>>84261883

Green, so long as you're her only warder.

Maybe Yellow, since you know you're gonna be in good hands when you have to fuck things up.

White would be supremely boring, do they even bond?

Brown is slightly better because they'll at least leave the tower and maybe have some adventures. Gray could be about the same.

Blue feels like some weird offshoot of gray, they're like the ACLU of ajahs.

>>84251057
>sony
Dropped

>>84269823

I surely hope so.

>>84269857
>Brown
you'd spend most of your time checking books out of libraries tb-h

>>84253902
They're planning a Sanderson cinematic universe. It will never get past pre-production though.

http://variety.com/2016/film/news/brandon-sanderson-cosmere-movie-adaptation-dmg-1201902500/

>>84259151
>>84261883
You know some Greens married multiple Warders right? Enjoy being the beta Warder who gets to jerk off in the corner while Warder Chad fucks that magic pussy.

>>84270320
Who was that one Green that had like 4 of them?

>>84269532
Yeah, thinking about it asian Lan would work quite will.
Still, the series would never survive into todays feminist charged media environment. Too many people eager to shout death at the first sign of anything resembling political incorrectness, and too many people with a interest in fanning the flames to profit (journos etc)

It will be interesting to see how they deal with weaving. The amount of complex CGI required would be gratuitous.