Star Trek General: Where Do They Poop Edition

Beamed out.

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>>84201337
have you ever heard this sound coming from someone's pants in any scene in any incarnation of star trek?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nrb8TlAaiw

>>84201313
You are now imagining Troi taking a fat shit and a long piss into her state-of-the-art mass-and-odor-trapping space diaper where it will remain as a noticeable bulge and perhaps be added to a few more times before she disrobes and washes her genitals, discarding the weighty but mostly clean on all exposed surfaces diaper into the general trash. If it fills up too close to max absorbency before she has the opportunity to get back to the privacy of her own room, she'll have to strip it off and urinate into something else. Since there are replicators, no sinks are aboard the ship. She has to use replicator-made water to wash herself in the first place. She's forced to piss in a shower or just into whatever container may be handy, literally ducking into the elevator for a moment to use her piss jug.

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>>84202301
Fuck no, they crap in the replicator so now YOU'RE thinking of Troi eating one of her Chocolate Fudge Sundaes and where that reconstituted matter it's made of comes from.

>>84201313
I just finished marathoning the entire series, from ToS to Enterprise, including the animated series

What do I do now?

>>84202382
Holy shit it's the only way to get around conservation of mass, isn't it?
For every recessed replicator bay, a receptor bay which pulls out of the wall beneath it. Allows them never to even mention it for politeness' sake because it's part of the replicator, and no one talks about it because it's unpleasant and they have to keep eating the food to live. But zero privacy, so you're now imagining a blushing Troi tinkling in a quiet sector when a whole brigade of redshirts pass by her on their way to the holodeck and half of them just walk by and pretend not to notice or cough politely, and the other half try to give her some sort of respectful greeting in deference to her station.

>>84202468
Speculate about how Troi relieves herself with us, obviously.

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>>84202468
watch the various fan series like Star Trek Continues...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJf2ovQtI6w

>>84202468
Babylon 5
Blake's 7
Legend of the Galactic Heroes

because explicit sex and defecation dont advance story lines, they are not part of most movies. implied sex can move a story forward, but lovemaking is better implied than explicit, otherwise it becomes a film that simply turns you on. just like subtitles for space aliens just looks awkward most of the time.

>>84202468
wasted your time, enterprise isn't canon
>le ugly lizard man suliban
>temporal cold war!!!!
>hapa vulcan whitey baby
disgusting

>>84202714
So why can't we have scenes in which Troi's defecation is implied to advance the plot?

>>84202553
that kirk is ugly as fuck, and sounds like total trash

also
>it is now possible to produce a 1960s era show if your mother's basement

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>>84202794
You're kidding right? His Kirk impression is down pat and not in that over the top parody version (which he can also do like when he played Zap Brannigan in a live action Futurama fan film) and it totally is possible and done because they recreated most of the sets perfectly.

>>84202783
because it's a little too on the nose to do social allegory storylines when they involve feces.

>>84203028
that door over there isn't a bathroom, it's a turbolift shaft, god I hope Riker hadn't been shitting in there even when it was convenient. On the other hand the Enterprise-D is supposedly self sanitizing.

>>84202510
>Holy shit it's the only way to get around conservation of mass, isn't it?

No because mass and energy are essentially the same thing.

>>84201337
>>84201443
I like the idea that they all just squat in the transporter room and leave.

>>84203086
energy would theoretically take up even MORE space because it would have to be stored as potential energy in some sort of chemical base

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>>84203116

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What a shitty thread

>>84203119
The ships have huge matter-antimatter reactors. Energy generation isn't a concern.

>>84203007
They did all of those shitty episodes about what a player Riker's supposed to be for no real reason, it's less of a leap than you think.

>>84203086
>limitless energy, in cold empty space

>>84203168
>>84203154

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>>84203168
>empty space
not entirely empty, just mostly empty. They use the Bussard Collectors to gather interstellar deuterium particles as a supplementary way to regain fuel.

>>84203154
Controlled antimatter release undergarments, there you go, they literally just shit at a controlled rate.

>>84202794
That Spock is ridiculous. Kek

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>>84203305
>>84202794
oh well fair enough, have fun watching Star Trek Discover instead. I'm sure that corporate cash-on be much better than a love letter by die hard fans.

>>84203368
That's a shitty love letter.

>>84203489
you didn't even watch it so shut your summerfag edgelord mouth.

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>>84202553
>That Spock

>>84203511
Are you the guy that plays that annoying Kirk or the chink looking Spock?

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Reminder that Pressman did nothing wrong.

>>84203684
True, that shit would have come in handy during the dominion war, when Sisko started using the cloak in the Alpha quadrant anyway even though the Romulans told him not to.

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>Computer, transport the contents of my bowels into Ensign Crusher's mouth on my mark, Authorization Picard Alpha One. Mark!

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Tacticool away team gear.


you hype?

>>84201313
where can i find a non-ants version of this?

>>84204038
over my bed

>>84204019
MACO/10

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so first shot of discovery bridge.

Lot brighter than the Shenzhou.

>>84204178
so what color do you want the bridge to be painted?
>blue
and the lights?
>blue
and the monitors?
>blue
and what about the uniforms?
>blue
and the captain's eyes?
>blue
and his hair?
>blue

>>84201313
I had that poster over my bed growing up

>>84202742
Not canon how?

>>84204415
it diverged too much from pre-existing canon so the "temporal cold war" is used to explain it away as it being a divergent timeline where all those incongruities happened.

>>84204298
Yo, listen up, here's a story

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>>84204447

>>84204378
to act as a final fail safe should any woman somehow make it that far

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>>84202510
"Computer, redirect all organic waste produced by female members of the crew directly to the replicator in my quarters."
>"Acknowledged."
"O-o-oh, one more thing, computer."
>*BEEP*
"Disengage safety protocols."


>FIRST CASE OF CHOLERA IN FEDERATION TERRITORY FOR TWO HUNDRED YEARS; PERVERT BLAMED, RECEIVING COUNSELLING.

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>>84204583
>cholera
>in the current stardate
biofilters my friend

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>It's a Flotter and Trevis engage in psychosexual fireplay episode

Was this really supposed to be appropriate for children?

>>84204019
you cant discern their rank

>>84204019
Boy that looks awful

>>84204722
interesting point, there's no rank insignia on >>84204178 either that I can see, unless the four stripes on both of his shoulders is it. Are there any shots of lower ranking officers with three, two or one stripe on their shoulder to confirm or refute this?

>>84204776
the starfleet badge has 4 (i think) cutouts in it that may or may not designate rank

>its a barclay episode

>>84204897
into the fucking trash it goes

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>>84204869
oh yeah, well maybe. I thought it might be the gold stripes because that's how they do it in TOS right? Except it's on the cuff of their shirt sleeves

>>84204767
Hands up!

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>>84204776

>>84204987
ive no idea really. its not very aesthetically pleasing. if you zoom in on the gold emblems around the jacket, they are tiny starfleet symbols. looks like shit.

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>>84204987
Doesn't look like there's any relation between shoulder stripes and rank.

>>84205134
>essential - gold
>important - silver
>expendable - bronze
Ouch

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>>84204019
yo

>>84205301
ayy

>>84201313
I have a question. Why were the other founder members of the Federation ok with Earth being the capital?

>>84204447
kek

>>84205341
It's kinda stupid you have all these races that are space travelling for centuries and should have each built up an interstellar empire by then but then come the humans with no spacefaring chops and say hold up we got this and everyone's just like yes make us your bitch and everything is earth ranks, earth letters on space ships, earth designed spaceships, earth as capital, earth style interiors, earth derived military culture.

>>84205134
Now image TOS in these uniforms.

>>84205468
Because all the other races were already past that point, so they simply allowed the Earthlings to play the "space exploration".

Think about it this way. If some warmongering race decides to punish or paralyze the Federation by destroying its Capital, they will achieve nothing, because it would be "just" the Earth.
It's completely logical.

>>84205341
>Vulcans are autistic and don't want dirty lesser races coming to their home planet anyway
>Andorians are humanboos
>Tellarite ambassador protested but Archer or whoever called him a hairy pig jew faggot and probably a cuck and told him to fuck off, which the Tellarites considered a master-craft of persuasive language and acquiesced immediately
That's how Humans became the leaders of the federation and the dominant alpha quadrant species

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Worf is terrible on DS9. It's a terrible rehash of his story arc on TNG (loses his honor, wife dies, son resents him). He took valuable time away from the far superior and more interesting Chief O'Brien. Erasing his brother's memories is fucking retarded.

Prove me wrong.

>>84204019

Women would be so fucking useless on long term space missions. Same way they're useless in the navy.

>Watching DS9 Past Tense
>they are talking about riots in sanctuary cities by 2024
fuck... Trump was supposed to put a stop to those

>>84205697
That's kinda true, but he probably stole more episodes from Jadzia than anybody else (since she was the resident Klingon expert before Worf joined) and Jadzia is shit, so that's a good tradeoff.

The worst story arc rehasher was EMH, who rehashed measure of a man like every other episode in the later seasons of Voyager.

>>84203144
kek

>>84205697
DS9 Worf is better because they realise that he's a great deadpan, and that being a prickly anal guy actually makes people dislike you in most cases.

>>84201313
The ship scans people's large bowels and bladder and beams out the waste as it accumulates.

>>84205754
>>84205697

The writers of DS9 must have hated Ronald Moore or something because they shit all over the Klingon storyline he wrote in TNG.

DS9 did a lot of things better than TNG, but other than Martok, the Klingons are far and away better and more interesting in TNG. They took such a huge shit on Worf's entire story and struggle to regain his family's honor. Sometimes I like to think Worf on DS9 never even existed.

>>84205855
Ron Moore was literally one of the supervisors for DS9.

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>>84205732

Oh no, goyim (almost all Star Trek writers were Jewish The new Captain in Jewish). There's sanctuary cities in the future because the ebil nazi's won't share any more of their sheckels! They asked for some of ours, but you know, Holocaust and such.

>>84202553
Is Sulu Grant?

>>84205341
it's not a matter that all the other founding members are okay with it

it's about humans being humans. "the federation is for everybody!" and then Star Fleet is 90% humans. everyone's taking the free bible handouts but the only ones who really believe are the ones handing them out.

>>84202553
you know these aren't nearly as bad as I want them to be.
some of these things are even good

>>84204058
i bet you say this to all the girls

I saw most of a Voyager episode on TV yesterday and it was so fucking bad that I don't think I'm going to even try to watch Voyager like I was planning to.

>>84205895
oh man didn't realize I was being brainwashed by jews. It seems like the jews didn't consider racism still a problem in 2024 which is hilarious

They just use mini transporters to zap the poo out of your butt

>>84205898
Yes

What are /trekgenerals/ scifi universes power rankings?

1. The Expanse
2. Pitch Black
3. Alien/Aliens
4. WH40K
5. Trek
6. BSG
7. Babylon 5
8. Star Wars

not seen: Firefly, Stargate, Andromeda

>>84209245
1. Trek
2. Stargate
3. WHO CARES LOL

>>84209245
>>84209309
Warhammer 40k is gothic power fantasy parody.
Babylon 5 is okay, but very limited by its focus and budget.
Star Wars is okay as an original trilogy fantasy.
Star Trek is incoherent as a setting, but okay if you don't think about it as anything more than definitive archetypes for space settings.

Everything else is trash. Sci-fi on television and film is terrible. Hacks like Clarke ruined it in book form a long time ago.

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>it's dead jim
i tried

>>84201313
The individual cabins do have toilets. They show up on the floor plans.

>>84204019
>Address "why don't they have amour"
>In a prequel where they then have to explain why they stop later
>Ignore "why would you send the Captain and First Officer on an away mission to a hostile planet with no backup?"
gg, STD

>>84205855
>>84205893
I wouldn't be surprised if Moore was involved in all the rehashes, Battlestar Galactica is basically the greatest hits of DS9 and Voyager except done properly with humans who are more like us than Starfleet.

>>84201313
I used to have that poster when I was a kid. It was fucking awesome.

>>84201313
In space nobody can hear you poop

>>84209245
You forgot farscape.

>>84204897
>>84204917
Hits too close to home, huh?

>>84209245
Trek TNG
Alien
Star Wars IV,V,VI
Red Dwarf
Trek Original Series
Firefly
Trek DS9
-powergap-
Battlestar Galactica
Star Wars, the rest of them
Stargate
Hardware Wars
-powergap-
Bad scifi down here

>>84202382
>>84202510
>>84203086
This is how biospheres work.

Every square inch of your body is covered in the feces and urine of insects and microscopic life forms. Everything you eat is covered in it. Filled with it. Every time you poop and pee, that waste goes back into the environment and is recycled back up the food chain until you end up eating it again in the future.

>>84212580
Exactly, the replicator/receptor bay just makes the process more efficient and allows crew members to watch Troi piss at the same time. It's the sort of ideal solution only Starfleet could engineer, bravo.

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>>84202553
I want to hate these
I really do
They're fan-written spin-offs
But they're actually......kind of good in their own weird little way
Shit, you can at least tell they love the source material more than anyone who worked on JJTrek or Discovery

>>84206108
Trek fan here. Voyager was so painful to see that i could not watch Enterprise after that. Bi-polar Janeway, bland Kim, WTF alien cook ... Horrific!

Years later, i found Enterprise... Comfy. It's not very good (under TNG & DS9 without any doubt), but i liked it and the fourth season was really great.

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>Sarek [James Frain] plays an important role in her life, which has been completely planned until she makes a very difficult choice that sends her life on a very different path. When we meet her, she’s the first officer on the starship Shenzhou. And Burnham’s choice that we’re alluding to is the most difficult choice you can make – it affects her, affects Starfleet, affects the Federation; it affects the entire universe. That choice leads her to a different ship, the USS Discovery and there we begin what [co-showrunner] Gretchen [Berg] and I call our second pilot.

>it affects the entire universe

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>>84201313
When a person on the Enterprise feels a bowel movement is present there are buttons that allow the ship's computer to detect the bowel movement, and have it teleported out of their rectum, and converted into energy which can be re-transformed into another food item by the food synthesizers

>>84201313
>double tap com badge
>signifies to computer you have to shit
>computer auto transports shit from your insides to space

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Enterprise had so much potential. We were going to get to see
>Start of the Romulan War
>Finding out T'Pols' grandfather was a Romulan agent
>Birth of the Federation
>Archer becoming 1st President
>True origins of the Borg
>Shran becoming a regular feature
Instead we got this shitshow.
I'll give it a fair shake for a couple episodes but I really, really don't hold out much hope.

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>The advantage of her not being in charge of the bridge right now is we get to tell stories from a very different point of view. It’s a fresh feeling because we’re not on the bridge all the time. We get access to more parts of the ship.

Wow, we never got access to other parts of the ship before...
We also never got stories told from a different point of view than the captain's...

Wow, so revolutionary...

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>>84213550
I read this in Worf's voice

>>84213461
Well, the entire galaxy maybe, since the first episode has them meddling in Klingon politics.

I think Jonathan Frakes said in one of the documentaries that the Enterprise-D only had one toilet

>>84203116
DESIGNATED

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>all these posts

We want to hear THE DOCTOR!

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>>84204447

>Burnham’s background is that she was the first human to attend the Vulcan Learning Center and Vulcan Science Academy – so she’s spent a lot of time on Vulcan, but she’s human. Sarek plays and important role in her life, which has been completely planned until she makes a difficult choice that sends her life on a very different path.

>>84214456
Makes sense, actually. He's Vulcan's top diplomat, so why wouldn't he know one of the very few humans living on Vulcan? Unless you're going with Enterprise-style "Vulcans are jerks", it's in Vulcan's best interests to have a good diplomat keep those humans happy.

>>84212768
This

Vic may be an egotist but he's on our side when it comes to Trek

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you know, we saw the bathrooms on Enterprise(NX-01), there was no visible toilet.

the only time I think there is a visible toilet. is in the movie Star Trek 5. When Kirk, Spock, and McCoy are locked up in the Brig. Kirk pulls out a toilet from the wall and sits on it.

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>>84214675
said toilet in Star Trek 5.

you can tell Discovery is DOA when CBS is putting it on CBS All Access instead of network television like literally every other show.

>>84214740
It's also on Netflix.

>>84213653
>Ship's first officer
>Literally the second most senior person aboard
>Always present on the bridge
>Commands the ship for at least one shift every day

hmmmm

>>84214757
Only outside the US and Canada. US and Canada can ONLY watch it on CBS All Access.

And its still not on network television, which is where the largest amount of the traffic for this kind of show usually comes from

it shows they have no confidence in it and are just sweeping it out of the way so it doesnt waste a programming block

>>84214884
It shows the opposite. They have so much confidence in STD that they think it will turn CBS:AA into a viable Netflix competitor.

In the end though, when it succeeds worldwide but fails in America, they won't cancel STD. They'll cancel AA and move STD to Netflix in America too.

>>84214951
>It's LITERALLY called STD

holy fuck I just realized this

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Perhaps I can be of assistance ensign. If you realign the phase inducers to a frequency of. 76 gigaquads and project the resulting graviton flux wave at the rectal area, the fecal matter should, in theory, be displaced to a pocket of subspace.

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>>84205662

>>84203232
Wouldn't it be more efficient to just beam up raw matter on planetary bodies?

>>84202553
These porn parodies are terrible looking. I'll grant you the Sulu looks kinda gay.

>>84213589
>More lifeless and plastic than a Real Doll
Enterprise fans will defend this

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>>84214697
>Hey Rick, did you connect umbilical #7 yet?
>No, just about to, the Yorktown had space pirates in the brig
>*opens latch*
>OH GOD OH GOD NO IT'S IN MY MOUTH
DO NOT USE WHILE IN SPACEDOCK

>>84202382
I got news for you. All the carbon in your body has been eaten, processed, and shit out many thousands of times over the eons.

>>84213589
Enterprise really picked up in the latter two seasons and I'm sad they didn't get to continue on to do all that stuff because if we judged TNG by its first two seasons like with Enterprise it would seem like a huge piece of shit too.

I actually don't like Shran that much though. I liked Jeffrey Combs as Weyoun like everyone else, but I think he overacts the part as Shran and it's kinda hard to take such a manlet seriously as an intense hardened military commander anyway.

>>84202651
LoGH is so damned good.