Make a wish, ruin a wish

>>84135150
first of all. I wish that my subsequent wishes have no unintended or perceived ill effects for myself or anyone else and their effects are limited to within that which I would in fact wish for, because they are called "wishes"

secondly, I wish that all remaining ill effects of my wishes be transferred to the granter of my wishes as though he had in fact wished for them, and furthermore that they be multiplied in effect by 1000x.

Lastly, I wish for infinite wishes

>>84135215
>Lastly, I wish for infinite wishes
you become a Djinn, you know live in a gem for eternity only leaving when some faggot brings you out to grant wishes, the results of which cause you 1000X more pain than they do the wish maker

>>84135150
I wish all Jews and Muslims are teleported directly into the center of the sun. I don't need any more wishes.

>>84135440
you didnt specify who has control over your teleportation, so the Djinn decides where you teleport and its never pleasant

Same goes for size shifting

you are indestructible but still feel pain, which you experience to previously unbearable amounts for 24 hours
then you die

>>84135386
*BZZZ* I'm sorry, that's incorrect! The granting of wish three violates the articles laid out in wish two. Please rectify this immediately or face immediate action.

I wish that you get a nice house and family, motivating you to stop screwing up people's wishes

>>84135500
The Djinn, who is the one who interprets the wishes- doesnt see being made a Djinn as an ill effect, in fact he doesnt see anything he does as an ill effect, rendering your petty attempt at security useless

>>84135150
I wish for you to have a legal document that forces you to explain, in a perfectly clear manner, the terms and conditions of each wish before it is made so that everyone who encounters a Djinn is fully aware of the consequences of a wish before they end up confirming their desire to wish for said wish.

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>>84135666
>attempting to ascribe shit like modern documentation or explainable consequences to the actions of the Djinn

Dont fuck with me kid, just make your wish

>>84135483
>a wish so good even the djinn can't fuck it up

>>84135500
>being made into a powerful djinn is bad
Really a matter of a opinion, but only the djinn himself knows what it's like.

>>84135215
they will take 4 years for each wish to come true

>>84135767
Same exaxt wish, but a Djinn lawyer instead of a human one.

Gotcha, Genie!

>>84135483
He would just teleport the earth into the sun.

>>84135950
He needs to keep me alive to try and drag more wishes out of me. Luckily I can't survive in space.

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>>84135860
>Requesting a Djinn lawyer to act on your behalf

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Hello Mr. Djinn, my first wish is for 1 million dollars. No make that 1 BILLION dollars. My last wish is for you to be happy.

>>84136021
....fuck.

>>84135543

*BZZZT*

Wrong again! Pursuant to article one, wish one:

>I wish that my subsequent wishes have no unintended or perceived ill effects for myself

- as the original wish maker is subject of the sentence in the initial article, reference is made to them when gauging the "unintended and perceived ill effects" and not the wish granter; in other words, the illness of the hypothesised effect is to be judged by the standard of the wisher, not the wishee. I'll see you in court.

I wish

>>84135150
>I wish each wish is considered seperately
>I wish each wish is calculated with its absolute value
>I wish thousand fewer wishes

>>84136048
He just ignores that last one...like he did here >>84135527

He doesn't want happiness...why?!

I wish to be beaten half to death

>>84136048
The Djinn grants you 1 billion Zimbabwean dollars, 500 USD are deposited into your bank account, the money was also stolen directly from Mugabe's personal account, hes now coming to kill you
You made the Djinn smile, what's your next two wishes?

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>>84136167

I wish you'd tell me exactly what Djinn want.

I wish you never ever get that.

I wish to be immune from any ill effects of the third wish in regards to my soul.

Eat shit.

>>84136175
I wish I knew why Robert Mugabe, a man with a net worth of 10 million dollars, is coming after me for stealing 500 dollars.

I wish I had a sausage pepperoni pizza to share with you djinn

>>84136224
The djinn grants your wishes then reminds you that you just wasted all three wishes trying to trick him.
Then he takes your soul for trying to trick the djinn.

I wish you had your favorite dessert in your hand right now

>>84136224
>Your body is slowly mutilated over 70 years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fvzPOQRRxw

KINO.

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>>84136074
>I'll see you in court.
Judge Djinny Sheinlend presiding

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>>84135150

I wish to be magically turned into a young blonde bimbo teenage slut with a huge rack, really short, and was really ditzy and submissive and is constantly horny and wanting sex.

>>84136289
>>84136309
That's not how it works faggot, learn the lore. The Djinn wants someone to make three wishes so they can come through into our dimension. The second wish prevents that explicitly. Therefore the third wish is entirely pointless and could be anything because the Djinn is caught in a time paradox where it must constantly stop itself from granting a third wish.

It's iron fucking clad.

I wish that OP would stop sucking cocks

>>84136336
>>84136021
>>84135860
HAHAHA! BET YOU WANTED THAT FUCKING DJINN LAWYER NOW, BITCH!

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>>84136419
Granted.
But the only guys attracted to you are black

>>84135500

Also you said that you wish for infinite wishes, but not that those wishes are yours to spend. So now you have infinite wishes, yes, but infinite wishes to grant, without ill effects for you as wish one, and the occasional 1000x one if someone somewhere along the line fucks up the wording as for wish two.

Being made a djinn is a bit of a stretch, but a bit of a stretch is what the djinn does, and your wording allows that.

>>84136494
OP now only sucks one cock for the rest of eternity

next wish

I wish that Dougie stops being retarded.

>>84135150

I marathoned these a while ago, and while they're all obviously cheesy, the first two are so much better than the others (both story and the guy playing the Djinn).

The first two, the twists on the wishes made sense and the end trap in the first one was great. The 3rd one, right away the Djinn grants the dude's wish that 2 hot chicks love him and start making out with him, then they just kill him. No twist, no trick, not even a "Love hurts" quip or pun. Then the 4th one is just some weird pseudo-love story thing which makes no sense.

Watch the first and second Djinn movies, then just end it.

I remember seeing Djinn show his dick in one of the movies when I was a kid. Did that really happen or was is just a fucked up childhood dream?

>>84137961
I wish that you knew that.

But I also wish that you forget, every time you try to tell someone the answer.

1-I wish the ability to take back a wish and re-try if I don't like the end result

2-I wish you fail to accomplish whatever your true goals are

3-I wish to be the unbeatable ruler of the human and djinn kind for eternity

D-did I do well, Djinn-sempai?

>>84135150
The first Witchmaster had some really GOAT effects, Andrew Divoff was great as the Djinn.

how did they fuck up the sequel so bad with fart jokes and that lawyer fucking himself
jesus

*looks a Jinn with a cocky smile and say nothing*

>>84138462
Because of wish 1, wish 1 and 2 don't count.
You get wish 3. You become trapped int he "body" of a metric system ruler and are unbeatble at chess but can't even play the game because your soul is trapped inside a fucking ruler.

>everything I want is free for me (houses,cars,services)
>ability to manipulate my appearance
>immortal and indestructible until I choose to end it myself

I wish for my next wish to come true.

I wish for my previous wish to not come true.

I wish to be a big guy

>>84138635
>Because of wish 1, wish 1 and 2 don't count.
But why? Only I can take it back, and I would have another try. Even if the first one doesn't count, the second one should, so it would be a lose-lose at least. And what if I make the third wish in my native language instead of English?

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I would wish to summon Taylor to my side for help, noone can trick the evil snek.

>>84136858
Wish already granted, Dougie is dead. Cooper is the one who is retarded, he's not really Dougie.

>>84138698
You are now an invisible ghost with the ability to destroy yoursef when you want.

Have fun changing your appearance when even you can't see the result. Have fun not being able to use and touch anything you could have for free. Have fun being indestructible (nothing can harm you you intengible faggot) and immortal you dead sucker.

>The ability to shapeshift into anything living (including a younger, healthier version of myself) without killing myself in the interim phases or because I don't know biology
>Guaranteed $800,000 relative to inflation per week for the rest of existence
>Ability to rewrite memories without ruining someone's mind or life (unless I want it to be ruined)

>>84136560
and?

>>84135150
1. I wish for all of my wishes to be grant exactly as I intend them, with no ironic twists or unforeseen problems to make the wish bad.

2. I wish that it wasn't against the rules to wish for more wishes.

3. I wish for more wishes.

>>84138781
Not that anon, but that doesn't sound too bad to me. I can stalk and peep on anyone I want, then destroy myself when there is no cutie left to secretly watch naked.

All considered, I think I'd just

- As the first wish, ask for him to be honest and upfront about all the intricacies and sub-rules of his powers and wish-granting,

- Talk terms with him and basically surrender creation to the djinns as long as he lets me enjoy my second wish, he's an immortal and I'm basically giving what he wants, no reason to fuck me over.

- As a second wish, basically wishing to be almighty as in "I can do whatever I want whenever I want", be it fucking bitches, being rich and famous, having superpowers, whatever.
Probably using his honesty by first wish to word it with a "Fuck me over and you're trapped again" catch, but again, he has already won by then.

- Once I'm bored with my many centuries of almighty life, just wish to become a djinn as well and let's raze this reality to which I have no ties anymore.

>>84138833
You can't fap. You intengible and invisible even to yourself.

>>84138954
Fuck, it's intAngible. I guess my wish to not be dumb had ironic results...

>>84138954
Still fine. You can go watch people with interesting lives, witness A list hollywood people's big secrets etc. It's not like staying in your room, shitposting on 4chan is much better.

>>84139013
Your eyes and ears are also invisible and intangible. You can't see or ear the physical world.

DJINN'ED

>>84138832
>. I wish for all of my wishes to be grant exactly as I intend them, with no ironic twists or unforeseen problems to make the wish bad.
Granted
>>84138832
>I wish that it wasn't against the rules to wish for more wishes.
It's against the rules to wish this, ad infinitum. and your memory gets erased every time you try to wish for this. You are now stuck in an infinite loop and die.

>>84136560

>implying I wouldn't want to be a pretty girl sucking on BBC
>implying i want tiny white dicks

Djinn fails.

>>84139045
Sounds comfy af.

Thanks Djinn.

>>84139123
Your brain is also intangible and invisible so it doesn't work anymore. You're not dead, but you're not alive either.

You COULD have everything, you COULD destroy yourself, you COULD change your form. But you don't. Because your brain is not working.

>>84135150

1. Give me all of your exact powers with none of the limitations. I want your exact skill set, to be able to bend the universe to my will, just like you. No turning me into a genie or trapping me in your rock or only letting me use my powers when someone makes a wish or any funny business like that.

2. Fuck off I'm putting you back in your rock, dick.

>>84135981
>Teleports you to an otherwise vacant earth-like planet

>>84139176
Thrying to go above the powers of a Jinn with a wish is a sure death sentence by whatever entity gave the Juinn these powers in the first place. You can't ask for more power than the person and his powers can grant you, you cuck.

>>84135150
I wish to be omnipotent

>>84139160
So I'm just like a cloud floating around, no worries, no nothing, just comfy nothingness.

>You COULD have everything, you COULD destroy yourself, you COULD change your form. But you don't. Because your brain is not working

That sounds like a typical anon. We could go to gym and get fit, go work and make money to buy expensive cars or houses, or just kill ourselves but we don't have the balls and are too retarded to do anything with our lives other than shitpost on anime image boards.

>>84139263
Anon is the only one who can defeat a Jinn?

Talk about your underdog winning the day story! WEW

>>84139224
Butthurt genie detected

>>84139225
You already are. God is everywhere.

Next wish.

>>84135215
>2
Doubt he cares about x1000 effect of fuckery he'll lay on you.
He's omnipotent after all.

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>>84138703

>>84139224
If you can't grant it then fuck off faggot. We have nothing left to discuss.

>>84139341
If you don't wish, he'll just kill you.

>>84139312
If I'm already omnipotent then I kill the djinn

>>84139358
The Jinn is God too.

>>84135150
i wish for my next wish to be exactly what i wish for with no unintended side afffects

i wish to be my ideal futa

i wish for world peace

Hire a lawyer and make each wish like 10 pages long so that there were literally NO room for any fuck over.

That'll do it.

1-I wish physical, mental and spiritual immunity to the effects of Djinn's powers
2-I wish to impregnate Djinn and make him give birth to our cute human-djinn hybrid baby
3-I wish that the humans and djinn kind would live in peace and happiness

>>84138547
>show up at your work etc
That's how he forced people to wish in the first place.

>>84139400
Yeah well now he's gone nigga do you know what omnipotent means?

>>84139304
kek

>>84139411
The Jinn gives the lawyer some jewels so he lets him fuck you over.

>>84138698
>immortal and indestructible until I choose to end it myself
Oh you're fucked my friend.

>>84139434
Ah, with that kind of logic where he can fuck you outside of wishes your actions are renderred pointless.

>>84139428
The Jinn chose the definition: God, instead of the more common "all powerful, etc."

Jinn are autistic like that.

You are God, but dcan't do shit with that fact. Like everyone else.

>>84135215
so he cops remaining ill effects in order to spite you, good job retard

>>84139468
Now you get it.

DJINN'ED

>>84139500
Thing is I don't remember him to intervene like that.

>>84139526
When you play with a Jinn, you just can't win. Represent, yo!
-Jinnathan O'Dickwad

I mean, it's not hard to make a wish that the Djinn can't give you ill effects over. See Wishmaster 4, where the chick goes "I wish an Angel would protect me". That's pretty vague, I'm sure if you thought about it you could fuck around with it, but instead the Djinn just shits his pants.

>>84139551
>>84139551
>See Wishmaster 4
Worth it?

So, I only watched the 1st one, is Djinn defeated in the last movie? If yes, how?

>>84139551
In 2017 asking for an Angel would mean you get a bigger dick than the Jinn in your life.

>>84139583
No. Straight up, they are all garbage except the first one.

Even the first movie is still garbage, but that kind of garbage that is fun to watch.

>>84139583
Yes. Not as good but still watchable. Cutie Tara-Spencer Nairn shows her tits.

>>84139483
That's one hell of a cop out, you cant just change the definition of words. Second wish: djinn spends eternity in whatever it perceives as suffering the most.

>>84135150
1st wish = I wish that my other remaining wishes are granted to me as I interpret them, not how you or anyone else interprets them.
2nd wish = I wish that the moment I die, I'll be back here in this exact time in this exact body with the exact memories I gained in my life just before I made those wishes.
3rd wish = I wish for a healthy immortal life which can be nullified when I say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and clap my hands 100 times.

>>84139640
"Nah, sorry mate."

>>84139631
Change? It's a valid definition. Words have more than one definition. These definition are not cumulative, they can be all stand-alone.

>>84139691
god is not a definition of omnipotent despite what google says you slut at worst you could claim they're synonymous but that's a stretch since only certain gods are omnipotent

>>84139727
It is in some (real, not web-based) dictionaries. That's enough for me.

1-I wish that my wishes cannot be twisted to trick me

2-I wish that there are a dozen of dicks constanly penetrating Djinn's ass for eternity

3-I wish that this wish doesn't cause the outcome Djinn wants

Beat that, bitch!

>>84139781
I mean, he could just not grant them.

>>84139777
That's because you're a retard

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i wish for a qt gf

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>>84136140
You may wish for a thousand fewer wishes, but I will only grant three of them.

>>84138800
- You gain the ability to shapeshift into anything living. You shapeshift into anything else than yourself and you lose all your memories because it's a new brain and the neural pathways are reset. You shapeshift into an animal and you will stay an animal because you will have the brain of an animal.
- IRS starts to look into your bank account and see that your earnings don't add up, you're sent to prison.
- You gain the ability to rewrite memories but have to be in close proximity of the person. People quickly notice their friends who have been in contact with you start acting weirdly and remembering things that didn't happen. You are soon found out and the government seeing you as a threat kill you.

>>84138939
- The genie starts listing all the details in Swahili.
- No reason? He's a djinn, he will fuck you over no matter what.
- You become almighty. He puts you into a coma and you're having a lucid dream for the rest of your life.
- You become a djinn in your dream.

>>84139413
- You gain immunity to the djinn's powers
- To impregnate the djinn, you have to surrender your asshole to him. The sexual intercourse is 2 days long and there is no pause.
- The djinn kills every single human you included. The djinn and the human hybrid baby are the only ones alive. Wish granted.

>>84136224
- The djinn want's to grant you three wishes.
- Your wishes are not granted.
- Third wish void, because of the first two.

>>84135483
- All people have a small part of jewish in them because Israelites. Everyone dies.

>>84139916
A qt for Djinns taste is probably some ugly ass genie

>>84140043
Then you're not djinn.

>>84140101
To which reply are you replying to? It would help immensely in answering to you.

>>84136273
>a sausage pepperoni pizza to share
But not share equally. The djinn eats it except the crust. Enjoy what's left.

>>84136494
OP bangs your mother

>>84140214
geez this guy is such a dick

>>84140043
But I have immunity to his powers, they can't physically effect me so he can't touch my ass, and he can't make that up I have to give my ass to impregnate him, unless in the djinn world that's how it is, but how would that work between a male and female djinn? So, nah. My boipucci is safe.

And how does the djinn kind and human kind living in peace and happiness to gether translates into djinn killing everyone? Living means they have to be alive. There's no human alive in your outcome.

>>84139409
Didn't clarify that the 3rd wish was unfuckable
All the ways world peace can be twisted around...

>>84139631
Now he just is forced to hang out with you for eternity

>>84139640
Wish two just puts you in a death loop. You asked to be returned to the moment you die over and over again

>>84140342
Finally a friend :)

>>84136074
So all of your wishes have intentional yet imperceptible ill effects.

Good job Mr. Law School dropout.

>>84139781
Wish two. Youre one of the dicks. You get to spend eternity with the Djinn laughing at how small your dick is.
No third wish cause wish 2 has you trapped

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I WISH I WAS IN DIXIE

HOORAY HOORAY

>>84140298
You gain immunity to his powers. Him raping your ass is not a "power" it's just a way djinns get impregnated. You assume a lot of djinns and that is your shortcoming.
The last wish is the same as "I wish that there be world peace, hence the djinn kills everyone" but in this scenario, the baby is a part human so it still holds when you said "All humans and djinns live in peace".
>>84140363
No, it means the exact moment I die, I will be transported back to the time before I made the wishes so I can make them again. How can that be a death loop?

>>84140401
My first wish was that I couldn't be tricked tho

>>84139400
No the fuck it isn't. Djinn have a very particulas place in the cosmic hierarchy. They're spirits of fire animated by god, but unlike the angels they have free will. Some are good, some are evil, some just like to be dicks.
They got absorbed into islam from older arabic traditions, but they are a part of creation like humans and angels.

>>84138462
>wishing for wish redos
>wishing that the genie can't grant your wishes

You get stuck in An infinite wishing loop after wish #2

>>84140464
I said the effects of his powers, and him fucking me would be an effect of the wish, so an effect of his power.
The third one, doesn't my first wish cover that? I cannot be tricked like that.

>>84135150
Wish 1: A wallet that always has the right ammount of money for what i need
Wish 2: wishmaster has to spend the rest of his existance as a mortal powerless human with no memory of being a wish master
Wish 3: its a cute girl and my faithful girlfriend

>>84140530
Isn't his true goal to rekt the humans, and break into our dimension? How does it make him not able to grand my wishes? And a wishing loop still means he lost, right?

>>84139551
>An angel turns you into a pillar of salt, destroying you and your soul
>your remains are scattered about the halls of heaven
>perfect and pure and protected for all eternity

>>84140564
By that logic you would be immunite to his wishes. The djinn being impregnated would be a physical effect of his powers. You living in peace with the djinn would be a mental/spiritual effect of his powers.

>>84140827
I will take that outcome. It would still mean he lost.

But maybe I should have said "immune to the effects of his powers that I consider to be negative", so that would eliminate effects like getting ass raped by Djinn, but not vise versa or living in peace.

1. I wish for you and you alone Mr. Dschinn, to cease existing at all.

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Why is it disproportionately often the case that my post is the last one to a once lively thread.

>>84141123
Wait, what? Is this thread still here? I had left about 2 minutes ago.

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>>84139551
>>84140682
Alternatively...
>You wish that an angel would protect you forever
>The cherubim, Lightbringer, appears
>He beckons you into his glowing wings.
>You are swept off to Hell, where you are placed into an inescapable cage.
>You will be be protected from the Djinn forever as your writhe in torment for eternity.

>>84140577
1st = the money is in Zimbabwean dollars. Your wallet is so thick it breaks from the seams, now your wallet is an leather slab that leaks zimbabwean dollars everywhere.
2nd = A hobo from Detroit who goes by the name Wishmaster loses his memory.
3rd = The girl is in a vegetative state and bedridden. You have to pay for the hospital bills.
>>84140968
You become blind and deaf. He stops existing for you.

I wish that you were trapped alone in that fire opal for all eternity and can never leave

I wish to die in the most horrible and excruciatingly painful way imaginable. WHAT NOW YOU FUCKER? CAN'T DO YOUR CHEEKY SHIT?

>>84142408
This death last for an eternity.

I wish for absolute control over every aspect of my life.

1-I want to stay alive, healty and young until all my wishes are granted
2-I wish to have sex with every handsome, hot, white man in the world, only one a day
3-I wish to die fast and painless

>>84144110
1. Granted
2. Allows you to have sex with every handsome white man in the world of some distant planet with zero human population.
3. Granted

>>84135500
Have the seen any of the Wishmaster movie? The Djinns in those movies are actively out to get the people who make the wishes.

You could wish for a million dollars and the next thing you know you're coughing up a million dollars worth of pennies.

>>84135150
1. I want Idris Elba to impregnate my wife, multiple times
2. I want my wife to have access to all the black men she wants, celebrities, rich men etc
3.The Pest (1997) gets a 4k bluray release, and I get a free copy of it.

>>84141661
I said existing "at all" though.

>>84139212
Sounds comfy. Get to live out last few years knowing I saved the world

>>84135215
Granted, but unrelated to the wishes the Djinn just pulls out a gun and shoots you in the throat for being an insufferable faggot, and you choke to death on your blood before you can spit out any additional wishes.

>>84135150
I wish your horns didn't jiggle around like tentacles.

I wish that everytime you grant a wish, you have to have sex with Lena Dunham

>>84138703
Djinn BTFO

I wish this thread gets bumped

>>84135215
You are imperceptibly broken down instantaneously on a sub-atomic level for attempting to shit all over the fun, avoiding the first wish clause due to your inability to perceive the consequences, rendering the following wishes void.

My wish is to have some beers with the wish granter and talk about all the stupid shit other people wish for.

>>84149535
WISH GRANTED

>>84135150
I'll take a coke.

>>84150504
Coke od

I wish for the President of the United States to die of a sudden heart attack.

I wish for the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom to die of spontaneous human combustion.

I wish for a large meat feast pizza with mixed peppers and the bbq sauce stuffed crust.


Fuck up that order if you can

>>84153374
>Trump dies
At the ripe old age of 102 from a sudden heart attack.

>PM catches fire
Luckily he was standing in a lake at the time

>Free pizza
plus tip

>>84140419
Granted, but now you are farm equipment

I wish to have the biggest penis in the universe

I wish to have a foursome with ScarJo, JLaw and Ed Norton

I wish the earth would explode

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Why didn't he just grant 3 wishes for his master without the bad side effects? After that he could be free and do whatever he wants.

>>84155120
Because he is a cunt.

My wishes:

1. I wish that it was the year 1999 again and everything was exactly the same as it had been the first time, except for the fact that Nintendo didn't release a bunch of half assed Pokemon games for the N64 but instead delivered a master piece in the spirit of the portable Pokemon games but in 3D which I would get in that same year for my birthday and play with great joy.

That's all.

>>84148010
Ok. You just crossef the line.
That shit is cruel and unusual.

He flinched when he shot himself, so why don't I Joseph Joestar the fucker and throw him in a fucking Volcano?

I wish it were the late 90s again

Could Sailor Moon defeat Djinn?

I wish to give you a hug :3

I wish to have powers equal to that of the Abrahamic God, but without actually filling that role (so there's no Satan, no Jesus, don't need to do what God would do) and the ability to handle the power and the ability to utilize it only when I clearly decide to (I.E. idle passing thoughts about the planet blowing up won't cause the planet to blow up).
Get fucked Djinn.

I wish that Wishmaster 3 and 4 hadn't been made