Why were the Hobbit movies bad?

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>>84044221

>Beware that Grima Wormtongue, Fredo. I once knew a man similar to him by the name of Alfrid Lickspittle that I met during my adventure to the Lonely Mountain. He was present during The Battle of the Five Armies, but instead of fighting with the men he instead dressed as a woman so he could go around stealing coins and other pieces of treasure. He would hide the coins he stole inside of a corset which created the illusion of him having breasts. It was quite humorous seeing him adjust his coin-boobs the same way a woman would if she was wearing an uncomfortable brazier, jingling and jangling all the while... When we found out what he was doing we tied him up in a burlap sack and hung him from a catapult. We let him keep the coins for some reason though. They were still hidden in his corset/bra. However, one of the coins sliped out of his corset and fell on the catapult lever, causing the catapult to launch him right inside of a troll's mouth just as the troll was about to defeat our good friend and ally Gandalf. Yes, the same wise and powerful wizard that you and I both know was nearly vanquished by a simple troll after his staff quit working because the emerald in it went bad. Turns out that's the source of his power. A little emerald in the top part of his staff. He must have gotten a new one since then because I don't think he's ever had the problem again. We never found out what happened to Alfrid Lickspittle after he was launched from that catapult. He likely was killed along with the troll. He was a good friend

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>>84044231

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>>84044251
>Why are you telling me this?

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>>84044265

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>>84044299

Combo of Jackson not getting the 3+ year prep phase he did for LOTR and practical effects shops closing/downsizing, therefore forcing heavier CGI use.

The biggest factor was the prep phase being so short. He only got a few months to prep after Del Toro left.

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>>84044320

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>>84044221
>a spinning coin resting all of its weight on a lever weighs less than a flat motionless coin resting all of its weight on a lever

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>>84044348
Here's one last one for the road.

>>84044322
Also, the script didn't have polishing time during the 3 year prep phase that LOTR did. This makes the break from 2 to 3 movies more obvious.

New Line SHOULD have settled their Hollywood accounting BS with Jackson and started pre production with him years sooner.

>>84044221

Trilogy, overuse of CGI, and also Peter Jackson was tired of the franchise and should have insisted someone else direct.

The films get some stuff right, I think Martin Freeman is absolutely flawless in that role, and the Sauron battle was John Wick tier.

>>84044221
Needlessly derivative, bloated and unfocused. Each film except for the first could have stood to be a half hour shorter. The love interest was forced and awkward for the sake of appealing to normalfags, everything about the production was rushed and the film itself, most damning, was just childish. Granted it was a film FOR children but even children have certain standards and find shit such as cringe humor, fat jokes and fucking Alfrid to just be painful to watch. The tone was all over the fucking place and the cgi was lazy. The cast gave a decent to good performance and I'm aware of the huge rush and lack of prep forced upon Jackson. The real tragedy of these films is that they had the potential to be so much better and now no one's going to touch them or the Silmarillion for the next 10 years. At least it untintentionally protects reboots of LOTR though so there's that.

>>84044221
same reason the lotr movies were bad, he turned it all into a teen action flick

>>84044221
>>84044231
>>84044265
>>84044320
Holy fuck. These were actually in the movie?

>>84044424
>Martin Freeman is absolutely flawless in that role

he's fucking trash

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>>84044483
First three were cut from the movie and put on the DVD.

>>84044221
No heart and soul behind them. With LotR you could feel the love that went into it from everyone involved.

Honestly it was a few reasons.

1.) Jackson got a little too self indulgent after ROTK and King Kong. Due to the LOTR success no one was going to tell him to reign it in and shorten overly long films.

2.) New Line was on absolute bitch to work with. This ended up forcing Del Toro to leave the project and generally screwed the production timeline.

3.) MGM bankruptcy meant that even though everyone knew the hobbit movies would make money, the production didn't get a green-light until the last possible second. (and even then had stop production for short times because MGM was dangling over the abyss)

>>84044322
I'm sorry anon, but that's not it. Everything about The Hobbit is wrong. One or five years more wouldn't have made a difference. None of these shitty scenes we are watching were going to be rewritten or have a better CGI enough to make it not shit. Its problems start with the concept, go along with the production, the filming, the post production, the new characters, the old characters, the tone of the story, the graphics, the way it was written, the way the movies were divided. Literally everything went wrong.

>>84044221
guy who watched the entire series (lotr and hobbit) for the first time last year here - other than more cgi I literally see no difference between lotr trilogy and hobbit trilogy. Although If I had to pick what the watch one more time I would lotr.

like for example how everyone says legolas is a mary sue...yeah because he wasn't in the lotr trilogy right? Literally the same character, only he's more "edgy".

I will never get middle earth and why is ithe most popular fantasy of all time. I usually like longer movies but this shit fuck man. I gave this series I fair chance, but I can't.

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>>84044221
The Hobbit was pure kino

Jackson did not want to direct the movies, Del Toro was suppose to. Jackson wanted nothing to do with LOTR/Hobbit but the studio forced him into doing it.

It's amazing you people dont get this.

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What Total War game is this?

>>84045240
>I will never get middle earth and why is ithe most popular fantasy of all time

Read the books.

>>84045338
Fuck me, that makes no sense on any level. The only thing I liked about that battle was the order system the orcs used with the flag thing on the mountain. Of course in real terms the prep time to organise such a thing would be silly, but at least it made sense in terms of being an advantage.

>>84044320
it's like they didn't grasp what made the shield scene entertaining.

>>84045625
total warhammer 2

>>84045653
I can't, I hate fantasy with "magic is dead" aspect. Same with asoiaf, I get why it's the most popular because it's the cheapest to make.

>>84044348
Was the statue there the whole time or did they make it, can't remember?

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I still dont know what the 5th army was.
>Orcs
>Dwarves
>Elves
>Humans
And technically the humans and elves were all 1 army from the get go so it was more like battle of the 3 armys.

>>84045839
Orginally I think it was the Warg, I'm sure another anon will correct me though.

>>84044221

I think Alfrid is Peter Jackson's way of calling a person a faggot, without using the word faggot.

Also, I see people on this thread talking about the prep that Peter Jackson needed, but maybe he should have just stuck closely to the book instead of adding so much shit that wasn't in the book. Or I don't know, I've only read The Hobbit once, whereas I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy a bunch of times. Was Alfrid in any of the books?

>>84045839

It was either the Wargs/Wolves, or the giant monster bats, or maybe the bear skin wearing vegan. Oh wait, maybe he doesn't wear bear skins but he changes into a bear. I don't know.

>>84044221
>>84045900

Alfrid threatens Bard (it is a small town), runs away from battle, wears dresses and corsets. Yeah, best way to say 'faggot' without saying the word 'faggot.'

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>>84044221
In LOTR, the cut content was done in a calculated manner, with the remaining scenes being there to bridge the gaps. For example, merging Arwen and Glorfindel. This meant that there were very few scenes wasted, and the pacing felt natural as a result.

The Hobbit was a clusterfuck of cut content and original content being mangled together with no thought of making a coherent narrative.

>>84045778
That's probably insulting to the game

>>84044221
>>84045900
>>84046002

Maybe I should get rid of my unibrow.

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>>84046013
>▶
How many frames per second is this?

FUCKING INFINITY??!

>>84045338
They didn't fly so good

>>84044364
>an accelerated object's impact doesnt weight more than an object sitting still

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>>84045838
They made it

>>84044549
He's not really how I imagined Bilbo but he makes a pretty good hobbit.

>>84045839
In book:
Dwarves, Men and Elves in the same way as the film
Orcs, not because of Sauron but because they wanted revenge for their boss (the fat fuck in the cave)
Wolf guys (I'm read a finnish translation so I have no idea what they are really called) because they just kind of get along with orcs

Had to pick up the book again to reread the end and damn is it amazing

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>>84044221
>>84044231
>>84044265
Jesus Christ. I'm glad I never watched the extended editions now, it was painful enough without that shit.

>>84045839
Eagles

>>84046701

Was Alfrid in The Hobbit? Why is he such a faggot in the movie? Are you a faggot?

>>84044221
Because they weren't very well made but even if they were it wouldn't matter because no one cared about the initial chapters of a story we've all seen the ending to. That's why Rogue One is crap as well.

>>84046814
Alfrid was entirely OC. Completely pointless OC, too, because his plot goes precisely nowhere and accomplishes nothing.
Why they got Stephen Fry for the Master and then almost entirely supplanted his character is a mystery to me

>>84044299
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Tolkien is probably turning in his grave. They only had to use the book as a script and keep the main theme from the first movie and it would all have been good.

Lee Pace was the best part of the movies.

>>84044221
troubled production

>>84044348
To this day I still don't see anything wrong with this.

>>84045338
You have no idea how angry that part made me. I was sitting on the edge of my seat and wanted to see the orcs charging into the dwarven shield wall.

If I had written it I would've had a few minutes of battle, then Bilbo gets knocked unconscious (like in the book), and awakes to a field of dead, rain is falling, carrion birds are gathering, and he sees all the dead young men, dwarves, and elves who could've lived long lives in peace.

>>84046814
The lord of laketown in the book was basically split into both Alfrid and the other guy. In the book he takes some of the gold to go and rebuild Esgaroth, but instead takes it for himself and runs off with some of his friends. They take the gold and abandon him, and he dies alone in the wilderness.

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>>84047260
Lee Pace is the best part of everything he's in.

post more seagal webms

>>84045784

"magic is dead"

What?

>>84047671
not dead, but almost dead. Tolkien popularized it and a lot of writers ripped it off.

>>84047809

Eh, magic was never huge in LotR no matter the age. Some gems had light bound to them. A very few swords with magic properties. There was never a lot in Tolkiens work. He liked to keep the magic very subtle. The beauty of the world was the real magic. Like Gandolf with the trolls? If I remember right all he did was throw his voice to make those idiots argue all night. Yeah he kind of magically did that. But it was a very subtle thing. Same with his fireworks. Except for a few impressive properties, they're just fireworks.

I can agree that the trend of "the weird shit is fading" is repetitive and trite in fantasy, but I don't really blame Tolkien.

>>84047809
Magic was more in the vein of Norse Mythology.
Largely absent, present in artifacts more than people, and usually subtle when used, though with exceptions.
Gandalf's magic, for example, was based largely in his ability to inspire the hearts of men, while Saruman was a craftsman and could sway the minds of men.

>>84047809
>>84047929
I thought Tolkien started the magic is dying thing?

>>84048101

No, there's nothing saying that magic itself is dying. Granted the people with knowledge of it are leaving Middle Earth. Their age is ending. But again, magic was always fairly subtly played.

>>84047929
>>84048081
I don't hate the people who love lotr, it's just that it was never for me. I just hate the fact film fantasy is just lotr and now asoiaf on tv.

>>84048170
>I just hate the fact film fantasy is just lotr and now asoiaf on tv.

Well yeah. First of all, yeah that sucks. Second of all, budget. Doing bigger things would require even more money thrown at the screen. Plus Hollywood likes to get pretentious about how spectacle takes away from something or other.

>>84047929
>magic was never huge in LotR
Apart from the magical ring which is the basis of the entire plot

>>84048776
But it was never a huge part of the story itself.

>>84047397
Yeah a 3 film build up just to miss most of the battle. Lucky you weren't involved to write it otherwise you wouldn't have a long career.

>>84044265
how are they stuck together?

>>84047397
This isnt some game of thrones bullshit dumbass

>>84048776

The ring that aside from invisibility had ill defined powers? Yeah.

>>84044221
This has to be one of the worst scenes in modern cinema.

just look at it, the godawful glow filter on everything, Gandalf's fucking staff runs out of battery.
a single coin has enough weight to launch the greedy comic relief man with all the coins in his shirt to make it look like he has giant tits into the ogre's mouth and instantly kill him. then Gandalf does his IM ACTING face. the whole thing is just shockingly bad.

seriously what the fuck was Jackson thinking?

>>84046982
As the actor points out, the Master of Laketown is mentioned in the book as having "advisers," so Alfrid is technically canon.