What was the last thing you snuck into your kinoplex /tv/?

KP roasted peanuts w/ my dad to see Trainspotting 2

>>84007526
>eating the shittiest type of melon
Women.

>>84007526
I snuck my entire body into the cinema to evade the no male penis rule in order to see Wonder Woman.

Candy. I'm gonna finally sneak booze into the kinoplex next time I go. In September. Damn that's like half a year away.

I sneak 6 packs of beer into the theater every time I go and leave the empties on the floor

is this a sign of alcoholism?

>>84007526
An AR-15.

I managed to sneak in a 9mm carbine with thirteen 10-round magazines, a sawed-off gauge pump shotgun, and a sawed-off double-barreled shotgun, 99 home-made explosives and 4 knives

>>84007744
>>84007902
Why did you have to sneak your guns in? Do you live in commie-fornia or something?

>>84007526
Is not just me or does the girl on the right have the face of someone who gets murdered before they hit 35?

>>84007931
BTFO

>>84007931
got my ticket as the designated shooter and didn't want to suprise anyone at first

>>84007526
my two anvils

Why did they have to hide it?`Are you not allowed to bring your own snacks in to American theaters?

An baby falcon since he doesnt have mandatory Kinofly licence.

>>84007526
Some candy and chips back in fourth grade. If you still do this past 14 then you're a degenerate piece of cheap poor shit without an ounce of class in them.

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>taking a photo with flash in a movie theater
They should just release movies day 1 on home demand for the price of a ticket. 9/10 times other people(usually teenagers) ruin the movie by talking or doing shit on their phones the entire movie.
I miss when ushers actually did their jobs and checked in on that shit.

>>84007526
kek this is some /tv/ worthy shit

>>84008030
That's why I go to the fancy theater. It's a long drive, but people behave themselves. It was recently bought by a shitty chain that never upkeeps its kinotoriums. I fear I will soon have no good place to appreciate cinema.

>Nigger intensifies

>>84007696
3 months is half a year?

>snuck in

It's a myth that large chains won't let you in with your own food.

Seriously, just take it. If the ticket guy says you can't take it in, say you can and walk past. They don't actually give a fuck, they're just trying to charge you more to eat their shit.

>>84007693
so you just tucked?

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>>84008030
>Go to cinema
>All the ushers hate me
>I go so much they recognize me
>Doesn't help that I creeped out a few female employees so much they quit
>They have to keep rehiring because of me
>Every time I go to see a movie
>Usher will come in and go right up to me
>Stare at me for a minute to make sure I'm not doing anything
>Leaves, probably will do it once more before the end of the movie

>>84008232
No I cut my penis off.

>>84008028
Movie theater food prices are fucking bananas. You can't take a family of 4 to see a movie and get food and drink there without spending 80 dollars.

>>84008250
Well, what do you do?

>>84008305
Tip him for each visit and buy more crab legs.

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>>84007526
I used to be able to walk in with a 30 crave case into a theater, and stay there an entire day watching 4-5 movies.

It was great, AMC did not give a fuck

I tried to sneak in my wife without a designated bull

>>84008295
Patrician

>>84008002
The film historian who gives the lecture during intermission will make you share with the rest of the class if he catches you with it.

>>84008370

>30 burgers over the course of a day

Amerifats, ladies and gentlemen

>>84007526

A bag of reese's pieces 20 years ago

>>84008489
I was with a friend.

>>84007736
nah brah I do that too. Like I'm going to pay $10 for a bud light at the concession stand.

>>84007696
>In September
IT?

>>84007526
My canary

>>84007526
>eating and drinking in the theater
>having to piss halfway through

"no"
I could get mugged

>>84008370
I remember those days.
>be me, 15
>go to movies with friend, we buy tickets for two separate movies
>hit up local taco place, get 50 soft tacos each
>tfw as long as we bought our soda at the theater, the manager didn't care

Last time I tried to sneak a fucking pack of red vines into the theater, some bitch made me take them back to my car.

>tfw I brought in a pack of gum after that, and spent the whole movie sticking used gum to the bottom of my chair

Clean that shit up, bitch.

I had a pizza delivered to the theater.

>>84008489
they look like those shitty slider things, bud

>>84008186

My local theaters are patrolled by uniformed officers of the law. Like hell I'm going to make a scene just to eat taco bites.

>>84008489
About five of them equals one regular burger, retarded third world yuropeasant. Still disgusting but kill yourself.

>>84008557
>>be me
hello retard

>having to sneak food into a cinema

Is this an American thing?

>>84008631
>I upset this anon enough for him to respond

Lel

>>84008489
>amerifats
>white castle
Shiggory diggulus

I snuck in my clothes because I couldn't afford to pay the decontamination fee.

>>84008681

Do you pay extra for XXXL?

>>84008647
>BBBB-BBUTTT AMERICA!!!!

Will you stop giving them attention? Think about us Aussies.

>>84007526
That's actually kinda funny

two bottles of water and a bottle of xanax

>>84008715
Yeah it's bullshit.
Jokes on them.
I watched Wonder Woman with contaminated clothing and I wasn't caught.

>>84008721

Not trying to start shit, Rolf. Just never experienced this rule in a cinema. I've taken kebabs in and all sorts.

>>84007526
you literally got this from reddit.

everyone call him reddit.

Brought MD 20-20 in a gatorade bottle and poured it into a slushy for Boss Baby

>>84008370
>eating thirty hamburgers in one day
>murrilards

>>84008831
Fuck off, reddit.

here's how you really sneak in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTTUbTj5fWE

>>84008915
haha he showed him. hes not a low life at all

>Americans have to sneak food into cinemas
what the fuck? Just take in whatever you want, what are they going to do about it if they see you?

>>84007526
Can't you 'murrilards not eat like for a couple of hours?

>>84008520
You only say that because you want to drink 6 beers in which a regular responsible adult at the movies will only drink 2. You're a alcoholic buddy

>>84008557
I did something like that too.
Chewed a whole bag of gum, and stuck the pieces to the pop container I bought.
Whoever went to clean the room up, grabbed that cup and got a handfull of soggy moist used gum.

>>84008305
I steal from the quarry.

>>84009178
Why wouldn't you want to be drunk at a theater?

>>84009178
who even feels 2 beers

>>84009448
skinny people

>>84009476
im short and skinny and it still takes me at least 4 to get a bit tipsy

>>84008370
How much do those cost?

>>84009476
and non alcoholics

Had my gf sneak in a bag of wine under her shirt so it looked like she was pregnant.

>>84008250
Kek

>>84007526
>watermelons
confirmed coal burners

>>84009178
Concession beers are like 5-6 dollarydoos of some swill.

>>84008567
Jesus Christ.

>>84007526
That one on the left is adorable. I would get her pregnant irl and suck all of the sweet milk out of her perky little tits while she rode me to completion.

>>84009709
A good sick pack cost 10 dollars (unless you get something like bud light or coors lol) so why not spend 10 dollars on 2 beers? Its because you want the excess beers you fucking alcoholic.

I once snuck in a filled piss bottle to a theater and as I was leaving sprayed it all over the theater seats.

Snuck my air mattress in so I could lay down and get really comfy for the kino. Next time I might just bring in a boxed IKEA bed and assemble it in the theatre, as my air mattress now has a small hole in it and can't stay inflated throughout a 2 hour film.

>>84009762
You literally laid out the logic yourself and got the arrived at the wrong conclusion.

A craft six pack is roughly 10 dollars.
Two budweiser at a theater is about 12 bucks (more considering alcohol and tobacco tax).

Only someone who is financially retarded would go this route.

>>84007736
>six beers
>alcoholism

come back when 6 beers in an hour only get you slightly buzzed and stop the shakes

>>84008489
They are sliders retard, there is only two pounds of beef in that whole box.

>>84008028
True classy gentlesirs pay $5 for a single twix bar

I usually bring two fat rocks and smoke one before and one sometime during the middle of the movie in the bathroom.

>>84007526

I like to sneak in different moves into the cinema and watch those instead.

That way I can watch whatever I want but still be able to overpay for snacks and step in gum and sticky soda the whole time

My cat, so I can cuddle and feel less lonely while I'm watching the big screen

A pack of Marlboros and a fat cigar back when you could smoke in a theater. I miss the 70s and 80s when men could be men.

A pair of my grandma's panties I stole from her before she died. Wrapping them around my penis is the only way I can ejaculate.

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Shoved one of these up my ass

Why do Americans have to eat when they're at cinemas? You can't go two goddamn hours without eating something? Jesus Christ.

>>84010306
>tfw one of them breaks off and you have to wait for it to melt and slide out of your shitpipe before you can eat it

;_;

>>84010306
HURTS MY HAND

>>84007526
Does it count as sneaking when here in my country I can just enter with a backpack to the theater?

I usually carry some sandwiches/burgers and water

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>>84009858
>muh craft """ales"""

>>84010679

Letting people bring backpacks into places where there are lots of people. I'm sure nothing could ever go wrong with that.

Are US cinemas really that cucked?

Shit I've brought into a cinema without needing to sneak in

>vodka
>rum
>pizza
>subway
>haribos
>beer
>wine
>burgers

Either yank cinemas are run by bitches, their customers are bitches or you're all cunts.

>>84010768
Well I don't live in murrica, Londonistan, Germanistan nor Francenistan

So no, it's not an issue.

>>84010859
Keep thinking that buddy. That's just what they want you to do.

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>eating watermelon with a spoon
You either do pick related or cut them into small cubes and eat with a fork. Everything else is nigger tier. Fucking subhumans.

>>84010950
>Not drilling a hole in it, filling it with Everclear, then drinking the watermelon and waking up in the shitty part of town in a black stripper's bed with no idea how you got there

Pleb.

>>84007526
clever girls

>>84010950

>being less efficient, if a subhuman does something efficiently
>consequently acting less than subhuman

I guess you must be of South-American descent?

>>84011080
I bet some guy gave them the idea

stupid cunts

A bottle of rum.

Bought a large coke in the theatre, got three extra cups with it, shared out the large coke between me and my two m8s and then topped them up with rum.

Good shit.

>>84007526
A bottle of water and a protein bar.

>>84009753
same
>>84009753

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>>84008370
>30 crave case into a theater

>>84008557
>50 soft tacos each

God damn only an Olympic athlete needs that many calories in a day.

>>84008489
Sliders are more carbs than meat

>>84007977
>DS
>wants to surprise the public
>brings an AR-15

Please, even Robbert sells those in the concesion. Last time the DS brought a motherfucking G11. People were hyped as fuck. He only shot a mag because it is a pain to reload but we cheered him for almost 2 mins after he finished.

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This

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I marched up the Kinoplex like this a week ago...

>braphogs eyin' me all the way to the crab butter syringe rooms
>inject some hot crab butter to have a nice trip during the film
>bypass the no singles policy due to two falcons, but of course the falcon tax of 300% stings
>way better than working the mines tho
>Saw Baywatch at the Autism Friendly Screening room
>I dont remember much of the movie, I was too high on unsaturated fats
>one of the braphogs that saw me outside is sitting next to me
>she puts her ass next to my face and lets out a timeless brap. Absolute brapkino.
>about to pass out from the delicious stench, not even watching the movie anymore
>alarm sounds
>aw shit its Saturday isnt it.
>movie paused due to crab migration through the screening room
>accidentally step on a crab, get sent to the popcorn mines
>get hooked up on unpopped kernels while serving my hard time
>was released yesterday, literally cant stop looking for a new fix
>all my teeth are almost chewed away and uncooked kernels are stuck between all my teeth
>thinking of ending it families

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>>84008429
this, splitting crab leg poppers 100 ways is a pita, let me tell you

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>mfw there actually is a movie theater chain in brazil called kinoplex.

I usually just buy a couple double cheeseburgers from McDonalds and stick them in my pockets.

>>84007526
>flash photography in a theater

KILL

>>84011285
So how was The Mummy?

I want to eat their watermelon abortions directly from their sweet tender pussies.

>>84007736
cant become alcoholic by drinking beer. check Rio Bravo with john wayne

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>>84008359
>>84012910
>>84012943

I know the whole crab legs thing is a meme, but they really are the best theater food. The local cinemark is right next to pic related and they do all you can eat crabbers on wednesdays. Here's the thing tho, once they thaw the crabs they can't refreeze them so if its not particularly busy that night they end up throwing out a good amount of perfectly fine legs. Also, most of the idiots around here have no idea how to properly clean a crab so they end up throwing away half the meat too.

So what we do is hit up the dumpster around 4 am and see what kind of goodies we get. Then we usually come back to the theater and set up shop on the side. We resteam with a coleman portable stove and then use an old popcorn tub to sneak them in through the side door that we prop open. And no, we don't leave the scraps on the floor.

>>84008250
/tv/: the post

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>>84009875
>come back when 6 beers in an hour only get you slightly buzzed and stop the shakes

>>84013263
take a shower, you stink

>>84013544
>northeastern rednecks

>>84009875
a /tv/ anon wrote a real arresting post about driving to the local first thing in the morning in a pickup to drain a six pack in order to kill the shakes.

the language really stuck with me during my current descent, and ive been meaning to find the guy and recommend he writes this shit out before he dies

>>84014240
Do you have the post saved?

I have a microbiology class in the morning and if I don't drink 6 units I can't perform aseptic procedure, it fucking sucks. I'm trying to ween myself off now.

>>84007736
>>84008520
>>84009875
>>84014240

finally realized why /tv/ is my favorite board and why there is a starker difference between night and day posting here

we all alcoholics

>>84014708
>reluctant cheers

drinking a 6pack of brooklyn lager I got for $6

>>84014708
/ck/ has the best alcoholic threads. They can get pretty dark though

>>84013989
I already did, but the theater barber hasn't come around yet