The Mummy

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Went to the cinema to see Wonder Woman but it was sold out so I caught this instead.

The dialogue was made up entirely of cliches.
Humour felt like it was following the MCU quip formula but neither the actors nor the director could pull it off.
Zero subtlety, anything the movie wanted you to notice, it said explicitly.
Characters were neither interesting nor likeable (Tom Cruise in particular felt like a Nathan Drake ripoff, of all things).
Because you don't care about the characters, nothing in the movie carries any emotional weight.
Plot was simplistic and formulaic.
No sense of setup or payoff; things just sort of happen because they're convenient to move the plot along or set up another action scene.

That said, the action was serviceable to good and I'll probably jack off to the titular mummy tonight. Also, had plenty of Tom Cruise running.

All in all, a forgettably mediocre but not outright offensive movie.