*drums start playing*

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>>83894615
*boner rises*

>>83894615
>it's at an ungodly hour and you just watched MXC retuns on Spike then decide to change the channel to Comedy Central or fap to phone sex ads

Fun fact Evangeline Lily was in a phone sex ad.

>>83894664
>9-years-old.
>Waiting for parents to go to sleep.
>3am on a Saturday.
>"WARNING"
>Whip my dick out and get on the floor like an autist.
>*drums start playing*
>*titties start bouncing*
>Tfw dad walks in.

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>>83894615
*heart starts beating rapidly*

Jesus Christ, did you people not have HBO and Cinemax growing up?

>>83895093
no, maximillion

I perfected the art of the "someone in the next room fap"

*rub* *rub*

Who's there?!

>>83895148
i miss chris rock

faggot

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*cow mooing*
MR BOOMBASTIC

WARNING

THIS VIDEO CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN

>it's a Wild On E! episode
>brooke burke talking shit for half hour
>randomly showing parties from Ibiza and Las Vegas
>some girls show tits
>best fap ever

>>83894615
It's a calipso you stooge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzrhArE9urs

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>>83894615
>2011
>girls gone wild commercial
>PARTY ROCKERS IN THE HOUSE

What was that dating show that added a bunch of retarded cartoons to everything?

>>83894615
Between this and the blockbuster thread I'm having feeling hard nostalgia.

>theme music to real sex starts playing

THEY'RE YOUNG
THEY'RE READY
AND THEY'RE WILD

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>>83894753
>watching a GGW commercial
>get horny
>decide to switch over to some old porno with two chicks and a dude
>jerking off under the sheets
>mom walks in
>press last and don't move
>she walks over takes the remote and presses last
>presses it again and leaves to tell my dad
>next day parental block on all the good channels

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>>83894615
>Fall asleep watching comedy central
>Wake up to porn

>tfw stood up all night
>GgW ad would play when Comedy Central didn't really air anything.

Its was comfy and pointless at the same time.

in middle school i would stay up and cum buckets to GGW & ads for Mexican phone sex scams

There was some porn documentary that had a segment about a goat penis through a fence hole or something that came on at 11:00PM it was freaky shit.

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what is he up to nowadays?

>>83895739
I'd always stay up to watch Pornucopia it was hot and educational

>>83895624
Blind Date?

>tfw watching Red Shoe Diaries at lowest possible human hearing threshold
>minor noise in the house
>freeze like deer in headlights

>>83895093

My parents were plebs.

Why did they ever bother making all those awful porn "documentaries"

>>83895093
We didn't, but that didn't stop me. Trying to watch scrambled softcore porn when you were a kid is a fond memory.

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>waking up on sunday mornings and jacking off to dancing latinas on Caliente on mexican tv

Don't remember how I found it but it was top percentage.

>>83895901

DishTV or whatever the hell we had, had either a feature or a bug where you could watch a few movies before it had to validate the purchase.

It was retarded, but that was per box. So throughout the course of a few weeks I maxed out the, I guess "Pending purchases" on like 5 boxes throughout the house.

God help me if they ever plugged in a phone line to rent a movie, bill would have come back with like $200 in porn.

>>83895761
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Francis#Bankruptcy

Who else remembers those Emmanuelle softcore films on way late at night?

>>83895913
I waited late at night for a french show called 40 degrees in the shades.

It was a summer talk show filmed on the beach and sometimes they cut to top less women.

Those were the days.

>>83896011
they still make those

>>83895784
Is that the one I'm thinking of where the girl sits on a stool in the middle of the room and talks about porn history and stuff?

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>>83895627
Now all we need is an Xbox thread.
>Join match.
>Cough.
>"Shut the fuck up nigger"

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>>83895093
>tfw i was that kid who had cinemax and everybody wanted to sleepover at my house because i would show them hotel erotica

>>83895987
other than that tho

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>>83896171
>if you say nigger in game chat now you'll be silenced for 48 hours
ruined multiplayer gaming for me.

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>be stupid kid
>try looking up girls gone wild on youtube, or at least be able to see the commercials on demand (these were some of the earliest days of youtube)
>did this on family computer
>thought I was safe because I only did it when home alone
>one day, uncle and aunt are visiting, i'm on the computer
>they and all family come into the room to ask me to look up some music video on youtube for them
>mfw I knew "girls gone wild" and various other things would auto-suggest in youtubes search bar if I typed "g" right there in front of my parents, sisters, aunt and uncle
>hands shaking as I prepare to try and type fast enough to not let the auto-suggest pop up

>>83895699
>stood up all night
didn't your legs get tired, anon?

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>>83896991
>be 10 and share family computer
>sister is using it
>I am sitting on couch behind her, watching tv
>"Who went to boobs.com?"
>mfw

>>83894615
>12 years old at the time
>alarm clock that I put under my pillow so it would only wake me up goes off in the middle of the night
>carefully slide out of my bed since it makes a ton of noise and the walls are paper thin
>tip toe to the door and slowly turn the knob for 30 seconds to open the door silently
>slide across the carpet on my stomach since the floor tiles are loud as fuck and stepping on them would wake everyone
>finally make it to the living room and turn on the tv while spamming the Lower Volume button on the remote to make sure it doesn't make any noise
>just barely catch the show starting
>30 minutes and a box of tissues later I turn off the tv and sneak back to my room
>another successful mission
I miss being a kid

>>83897386
Sometimes I miss the days of having to really work for getting your porn and masturbation material.

Like having to hunt your own animal to get a meal, it was inconvenient but satisfying in a way. I'd never actually want to go back to that way but they're fond memories nonetheless.

>>83894615
All the videos are on youtube, this is surreal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OvOvCfpMIw

>try downloading a GGW video
>it's crap
>the 30 second ads are hotter

>>83897491
>finally get computer fast enough to download video
>awwwww yeeeaaahhhh
>six hours later
>finally have 30 second video clip from preview section of a porno site
>make a folder in My Computer called "DOS Configuration" which is just gibberish but I know no one will go looking in it
>hide 30 second clip in there
>have giant text file in there also that's comprised of a shit load of X-men erotic fan fiction from the Definitive X-men Erotica Archive

My mom has the computer in her attic. I wonder if it still works.