>yeah? well...fuck you!

>have fun with your herpes LOL

>being so thin skinned that being less attractive than Brad Pitt offends you

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>They're not my friends...

How did he actually respond ? I don't want to watch it and see his fat soul shatter.

>>83819428
this long for a shitty come back ? come the fuck on

>>83819520
This

Those guys are A-list Hollywood stars they probably wouldn't fuck her if she paid them

>>83819561

Best response so far!

>>83819588
He said something like "I didn't come here to be insulted"

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>You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My friends likes me. My fans like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

>>83819428
>runs of stage crying
That'll show her.

sad....

>>83819894
I don't get why he's so fat. He's good looking so he never had an excuse to let himself go.

>>83819561
Kek

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>>83819975

>>83820038
Yeah he's done for. All of that stuff under his shirt is loose skin. He will never look good.

>>83820038
>>83820349
His nipples are ridiculously low too.

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>Look you fucking French whore: you don't get to win. Not this time. I swear to fucking God, I will make sure that you and all of the smarmy asshats who are laughing with you lose your job. And you know what, after that, where will you end up? Working with A-list actors like me? No, I don't think so. Do you want me to tell you where you will be working? Here's a hint: you'll be disappointing older men just like when you were a little girl disappointing your father as he jammed his cock down your stupid mouth. That's right, you'll be what you were always meant to be, a fucking whore. Fuck you. This is my show, now. This is now the Jonah Hour, and if you don't like it, you can piss off you poutain!

That's how it's done guys.

why did she even trash him

>>83820665
Because she's a woman, and he's a fat man.

>>83820665
He's a fat faggot.

>>83820665
her thing on the show is talking shit about guests

>okay so should-should sh-should -sh-sh-should shoulda shoulda should *crying* should... should...

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>>83819428
>>83819894
His beard looks like it pays alimony.

>>83820665
Because beta male shaming is one of women's favourite pastime.

>>83820794
>shou-should the guy, the guy with the 6000

>>83820934
Plase list examples of this 'beta male shaming'?

I think women go out of their way to avoid beta males.

>>83820349
i assume he can afford surgery for it

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>>83820665
It's called a "shit test"

Women do this to men who they view as beta or non-chads. Always , and I mean ALWAYS, respond to a women's obvious shit test with something that would hurt her. Make fun of a deformity she has, her weight, if her parent's died even use that. The best response is to say something 10x harsher than she did to earn her respect and the respect of possible females that over-heard the shit test. Coming off as an "asshole" is much better and more attractive than coming off as beta or spineless.

>>83821144
Bollocks. The best response is to nonchalantly laugh it off.

>>83819428
>I never fantasize about you

>>83821222
>"teehee, Anon why are you so creeeeppyy. JKKK anon, haha. But seriously you totes give off a pedophile vibe,,haha jjjjust kiddddding, gosshhhh hehehe"
>"h--he-ehee , y-yea your right stacy I do. h-ehh-ehe.

>>83821144
Why don't these weirdos spending all this time making these mental calculations just go to the gym?

>>83821222

>girl insults you saying you look 17
>laugh it off

okay casanova

>>83820349
People say this shit all the time like it's not an ideal alternative to being a fat fuck.

>>83821144

reactive, insecure and weak

>>83819561
lmao

>be comedian
>talk show ho tells a joke at your expense
>can't throw a comeback or even take the piss

>>83821144
Unless you're attractive that shit's not gonna fly.

>>83821621
Yep.

It just cements your position as an angry weirdo.


But let's be real, if women are dissing you to your face, there is something wrong with you.

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>>83821512
lol. excuse me?
Girls flirt with me all the time because I'm good looking. The only reason I get shit-tested is because I'm skinny (I'm effay and wear top designer brands and trends and browse thinspo so I'm skinny by choice because it's the body type I find most attractive on me) and because I appear quiet (I'm actually giving off a bad-boy mysterious vibe). So as soon as I pass the initial shit-test by the occasional dumb slut, I'm basically IN there.

>>83821144
>woman starts banter
>can't take it and go full with insults

KEK

>>83821730
>>83821621
T. Beta virgin men

>>83821676
confidence is attractive. As soon as you show the shit testing female you have balls to stand up to her, you gain a ton of respect.

>>83821760
They probably think you're a faggot.

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>>83821760

>>83821760
lol is this what passes for pasta on /fa/?

>>83821883
I would have said:

"Ha , funny thing is I was with Leo the other night and we had sex with better looking girls then you. Plus you look to old hag"

>>83820610
Way too long and autistic. An off the cuff comeback needs to be short but biting.

>>83821760
>(I'm effay and wear top designer brands and trends and browse thinspo so I'm skinny by choice because it's the body type I find most attractive on me) and because I appear quiet (I'm actually giving off a bad-boy mysterious vibe)

Yeah, the bad boy that could be knocked out by the light from a particularly bright full moon.

>>83821516
>you look 17
when you're in your 30s, that's a compliment, bro

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>>83821826
>you gain a ton of respect
You won't 'gain' respect from insulting a woman, you'll come off looking as a creep at worst and maybe lower her self esteem at best.

Given that Hill has spent his entire career playing roles where he's basically shitting on himself, you'd expect him to be able to handle a joke better.

>>83819428
Kek literally a real life jerk store scenario.

>>83819428
>if dicaprio and pitt wanted aids from a whore they'd rather fuck your mother

>>83819520
I see your point but she also called him uglier than Leonardo Dicaprio and that is taking things way too far.

>>83822203
Terrible. Just makes him sound mad as fuck.

>>83819588
If I remember correctly he said something like WOW I didn't come here to get insulted by the local weather girl or some shit.

>>83822265
>last I checked dicaprio and pitt already got herpes
better?

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>>83819428
>you're a jerk

>>83820404
From all the loose boob skin anon

>>83821760
Had me going until the bad boy part.

>The actor decided to cancel all his publicity interviews following the exchange on live TV.

On Monday Fleury gave her Mea Culpa.

Speaking directly to him on camera she said: “Jonah, the problem is that for 10 years I have lived with you through your films. In fact Jonah, I really had the impression that I knew you so last Friday I thought I was just messing around with a friend, but the reality is that we are not friends.

“No the reality is that you two have two Oscar nominations and I have two videos on my YouTube account. You have made films with Scorese and Tarantino and me, I have made an advert for Spontex (a company that specializes in making cleaning products)."

There was no word out of Hill's camp whether the wounded actor had accepted her apology.

>>83820665

He was an unattractive male who dared to talk to her.

>well I'm a millionaire ,had sex with lots of women and will go down in history as a Oscar winner + legendary comedic actor. So if any thing I'm laughing at your expense you nobody French cunt.

Easy

>>83822358
too long and choppy wording

My favorite part of the whole ordeal is that 'oh thank god it's not me' look on Miles Teller's face.

Where do I go to watch the video of this?

>In 1977, Murray replaced Chevy Chase in the cast of Saturday Night Live. Though widely loathed by all he left behind in order to become a film star ("scumbag" and "asshole" being the more polite terms used to describe him), Chase returned to guest host the show. After a whole week of snippy remarks and perceived snubs between the two, Murray and Chase came to blows minutes before recording began. As recounted in the book Live From New York, Chase compared Murray’s acne-marked face to the surface of the moon; Murray in turn implied that Chase was incapable of satisfying his wife in bed. After the pair were pulled apart by fellow cast members, a "foaming at the mouth" Murray delivered what could be the most perfect put-down of all time: "Medium talent!"

Perfect example of a super concise but straight to the bone comeback.

>anon gives solid advice on how to deal with women putting you down
>bunch of beta males get triggered

wow

>>83822253
Are you implying women find jonah hill as appealing as leo?

>no u

>>83822414
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UM12f0GBOx8

/tv/ pls tell me if my comeback is shit>>83822293

>>83822441
That's kind of more insulting to DiCaprio and Pitt than her desu.

>>83822415
>Murray delivered what could be the most perfect put-down of all time: "Medium talent!"
>source Bill Murray

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>>83822421
It's rude to outright call someone ugly. There are euphemisms and polite ways of being an asshole that are socially acceptable, but I understand the nuances of conversation are often lost on autists.

>>83822435
>>83819428
>hahaha yeah, that's pretty funny. Uh, ha, you know what else is pretty funny? Uh, the fact that I sleep on a pile of fucking money surrounded by dozens of gorgeous naked women. How do you sleep at night? Huh? What kind of money do you make telling the weather? Uh yeah that's what I thought. Moving on please.

>>83822479
Isn't that the point tho? to act like you're not hurt by her joke you insult all three

>>83819894
Isn't that from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles?

>>83822435
Did they stop after that or?
I don't really understand like wtf even is this shit show.

>>83821564
It isn't because either way you look like shit. At least if you're fat, you get to eat what you want.

>>83822508
>he thinks money = being superior

ha

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>>83822490
History is on his side though. Bill Murray is Bill Murray and no one wants to be Chevy Chase anymore.

>>83822416
>implying
It's not the throwing shit back part, it's the two brain cell explanation that was given.

>>83822558
Uh, it does? That's why everybody loves rich people and hate homeless people.

>>83822543
It looks like the French equivalent to a morning zoo talk show or something. I assume they awkwardly changed the subject after that and started talking to Miles Teller.

Wow you set me up to knock me down with that one. Here was me hoping that when leo and brad come we laugh in your face for believing we would ever hang out with someone as low profile as you. Then again you did say it was a fantasy

>Talking about something that happened last year like it happened yesterday

>>83822558
money+fame does in fact make him superior.

>>83822627
Because even though it's been over a year no one here has been able to come up with a decent retort.

>>83822564
After his "Community" bullshit, I doubt many want to work with him.

>Sure, that's true. But have you considered this?
*farts*

>>83822666
Not in any way shape or form does having more money or fame make someone superior over others. Are you fucking 12

>>83822706
I meant compared to the French TV host that insulted him, not people in general.

>>83822677
We need to hold a séance with Oscar Wilde ghost to find a answer

>>83822677
see
>>83822293
it's playful, and insults her

>>83819428

"And I thought the French being rude and arrogant was an unfair stereotype"

>>83822745
That's racist

Ma'am, Leonardo dicaprio has been on a streak of bedding beautiful women. Why would he stop that with you?

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>>83822677
OH YEAH? WELL I HAD SEX WITH YOUR WIFE!

>>83822677
Had he actually said what he was thinking he probably would have taken more shit than he already is for it. Because as soon as you reply to that you're labeled as a butthurt baby who can't take a "joke"

>>83822761
out of the 322 repeated threads of this

This is the best I've seen so far.

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>15 years and /tv/ still hasn't come up with a good comeback

>>83822835
You can be witty and put someone down with out being crass

>>83822760

"My grandparents didn't get gassed whilst French women like you gleefully lifted their skirts for Nazi invaders so that I could sit here and have a French fuckin weathergirl look down her nose at me you baguette eating FUCK!"

>>83822888
This. That's the common problem with the comebacks people post in these threads. Too much profanity just makes you seem super butthurt.

>>83822851
You're god damn right it is

>>83822861

There is no good comeback. Women are simply better than us, thus every retort is servile and weak.

OP's makes me laugh tho, imagine if he had just said that.

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>>83822954
>>83822971
I unironically believe my comeback has been the best so far>>83822293

>>83822435
Jonah's "local weather girl" comeback wasn't bad but it's all in the delivery. He muttered it and sounded totally beta.

He should just shrug shit off at this point.
Like there are multiple interviews and stuff where Jonah gets super butthurt to the point where

Or, he should stop doing interviews, cuz shit like that is gonna come up whether he likes it or not. He is the Fat kid from Superbad forever, no matter what awards he gets or what he does.

>>83822851

It's reddit as fuck and SO ARE YOU

>Grow up

>>83822677
Probably because the 'retort' he gave was fine. He's smart enough to know dragging it on and making a huge deal of it would just end up not in his favor.

Hell, the news surrounding that interview was already spun to make him look like the bad guy.
Not sure why you guys thinks there needs to be some 'ebin' comeback

>>83823035
was just going to request this image, gets me every time

the jerk store one is cute and not too insulting, I think he would've come off good with it

>>83822547
Cumdumpster """"logic""""

In her defense, she is qt as fuck and can shit on anyone she wants. Especially my mouth

>>83819428
>fat millionaire jew who makes a living making fun of the goyim and spewing tasteless shitty jokes in fuck-awful movies literally cannot handle a well constructed and witty jokes made by a literal who that he will never see again in some foreign country that he's only visiting for like 2 days

really toasts my bread

jews are so fucking disgusting, their narcissism and inability to take critique while judging others critically and espousing a holier than thou attitude is nauseating

>>83823083
>Jonah was shocked to find out Seinfeld never aired in France and nobody had ever heard the joke before and thus didn't understand what he meant

I would fuck her desu though

>>83822547
>At least if you're fat, you get to eat what you want.

In addition to being unhealthy and being at risk for all sorts of diseases, yes, you do get to overeat.

Too bad based Jesse wasn't there to rip her apart.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ya-CrS3eKMM

My mother said of you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all. So I'll let that one slide toots

>>83820665
because it was a genuinely funny joke so why not?

>>83822435
What the fuck was that? Why even go over there to promote War Dogs? A movie about smuggling drugs are Frenchies even gonna see shit like that?

>I stacked jews like you 5 feet tall back in normandy
wtf jonah...

>>83823240
Not really it was just a personal dig

>>83823281
>why go around the world marketing your movie

yeah why the fuck would they do that?

>>83823189
This guy has way too much confidence for being as ugly and corny as he is.

>>83819428
>I don't fantasize about you at all

>>83823302
I get the Hangover or something more promoted and star-studded but War Dogs? Really? Movie was...ok? I remember 2 scenes from it

>>83823315
Being super quick witted like that instantly adds a point or two.

>>83823286
is that supposed to be something jonah would say?

you realize his real name is jonah feldstein, right?

>>83823316
Don?

>>83823315
It's called money. Could be the ugliest fuck in the room but you order the most expensive drink and don't even check the price you'll become instantly attractive

>>83823347
Yeah, unless it's Conan or Fallon, doing press tours has to be the worst part of being an actor.

>>83823395
Literally asked the same damn 5 questions "How was working with ___" "How'd you get into this character?" "What's your take on (plot)"

But they make hundreds of thousands doing that shit I'd do it in a heart beat

>>83823455
Oh of course. It still seems like a giant pain in the ass though.

>>83822666
I bet I could kick his ass

>>83822998
that was a good one anon, best i've seen in a long time

>>83822435
How does he even understand what shes saying?

Hey, lady. How many years of giving up on journalism did it take for you to become a weather girl?

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>>83820038
Looks pretty good now

>>83823553
There's a translator and he's hearing that in his earpiece.

>>83823553
there's a translator right next to him who also translates what jonah said

so even if he had the best comeback possible in english, the translator would have probably raped it

>>83822435
Why isn't our tv more like this where we can just discuss ass fucking and other things openly?

Fucking Murrica...

>>83823582
He's currently got a better body than DiCaprio.

>>83823189
>sounds and acts literally just like his character from now you see me.

Lol. Obliterated.

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>>83819561

Your amazing fantasy is to get with Brad Pitt and Leo. I would have thought a grown woman like your self would be embarrassed to admit she has the imagination of a teenage girl on national television.

>>83823592
Yeah. He probably didn't really know what to do. It's weird to banter back and forth using a translator.

>>83823663
I'm fairly certain Eisenberg isn't even acting in either Now you see me movies, he's just being himself.

>>83823794
'Fast talking jerk' doesn't seem like much of a stretch for him.

Jesse is a good actor, watch 'the double' it shows his range

>>83819428
JERK STOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>83823189
Last one is savage. Does /tv/ have any advices on how to be more quick witted?

>>83823541
thanks anon I tried :^)

I got it you goys:
>well thats why its a fantasy, in reality youd be going home with me

>>83822421
>>83819520

Can you be more autistic than this?

>>83824013
Read book build up your knowledge and vocabulary. As for quick thinking, it can't be taught but at least build up your weapons

>>83824013
wear a fedora

>>83823035
Conan's answer is pretty bad too. Makes him look beta as fuck.

>>83824146
Hi, Jonah.

>>83824268
It works for him though. He's always had a self-effacing sense of humor.

>>83824283
I would not be the least bit surprised if Jonah posted on 4chan. He probably lurks roastie hate threads on /r9k/ all the time.

>>83819561
This one actually works

>>83824268
self deprecation has always been his shtick

>>83819428
NOW WHILE SHE STANDS UP, NOTICE THAT THIS GIRL DOES NOT HAVE HER HANDS UP

THIS FREE WORLD'S GOT YOU GASSED UP

NOW WHO'S AFRAID OF THE BIG BAD HILL?

ONE, TWO, THREE INTO THE FOUR

ONE PAC, TWO PAC, THREE PAC -WHORE! FOUR PAC, THREE PAC, TWO PAC, ONE

MY PAC, HIS PAC, YO PAC? NONE!

>>83824146
Yeah, that's good, actually.

>>83821905

No, I've been around there, this is how /fa/ actually thinks.

I would just turn my head slowly to stare directly into the camera, widen my eyes slowly, and scream until I passed out.

That, or silently step up onto the table and start pissing on her without making any facial expressions.

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It's true, girls do react when you don't give a fuck about them. I just had a prostitute ask me how much I would pay her to have sex and I told her zero dollars because I could get her to do it for free. Then she said:

>yes, please, I'm so lonely

in a plaintive tone. The only winning move is not to play.

>>83825056
ITT: things that never happened

>>83825056
Better greentext that shit.

>>83821144
Thanks dating guru from /tv/
>>83821621
This

>>83821956
>having this low level self awareness
>thinking you are justifiable in doling out advice online

>>83823582
that's jonah now? wow id fuck him

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>>83825056
i ghost women until they beg to fuck me its the perfect course of action for a pretty boy sperg like myself

>>83825268
I bet I've had sex with more girls then you

>>83822731
kek

>>83822558
Without money, you're nothing. That doesn't mean that having money makes you something, though.

I would have just done the Jimface and moved on with the conversation.

>>83821760
Oh no no no
GAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAAAAAAAAHAHAH

>>83821760
underrated post

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>>83825266
Well, it's been a while since it happened now but the neighbour girl was over here which is unusual but whatever I let her in and we were watching anime and stuff and she mentioned that she lost her job as a greengrocer or whatever the frick she did and she had her first john the other day. So we started browsing escort ads and stuff and I pointed out all the things I thought were dumb about them. I know what I'm talking about. Anyway, she said that all the women looked hot and she was going to have to spend all her money she made on hiring hookers because she isn't old enough to get into the bar. So I asked her how come she dated that guy for two years if she was a lesbian and she said he was really feminine. She was right too, I got all his clothes from her after he strangled her and had to leave this place and half of them are unwearable for me cause I don't generally walk around looking like a nancy boy. So anyway, it was around this time she started quizzing me about how much she should charge and I decided to take a chance and she was laying down some signals anyway, and I told her that I wouldn't pay her because I could just get her to do it for free. And she sounded like she wanted it badly, cause she whined about being lonely, and I probably would have done it against my better judgement, but she still wanted money cause she needed to pay the rent. It kinda gets fuzzy in my memory at this point how it went, but we started arguing about where we would rate each other on the tens scale, and quibbling about the price and she said she would never fuck me for free so I said I'd give her a hundred bucks but she has to clean my house and she finally agreed to that.

Anyway, she hasn't been around to clean it which is really what I cared about more because I'm not really supposed to be "breaking the law".

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>>83825748

>>83825748
Thanks for the story!

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>>83819894
Well done
>>83822537
Yes

>>83824374
>>83824621
Yeah it's also Louis KEK's shtick

>>83823582
holy shit

>>83823582
that frog must be ashamed now

>>83819428

"Yeah, but Brad and Leo won't be the ones stuffing you into the boot of their car tonight. Will they?"

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>>83825516
>Jimface

Only Jim can pull off Jimface. You'd just look like a tool.

>>83822415
>"Medium talent!"
what the fuck does that even mean

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You have to offer to fuck Brad Pitt. It's literally the only way to come out of that retaining any sort of alphaness whatsoever.

>>83822998
it'd be good but it relies on insulting leo, who's his friend, and brad pitt which could be bad for his career

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>>83821144
lol
PUA was a thing, I forgot about it

>>83821144
>they view as beta
this must happen to you a lot

>>83819428
The best comeback would have been to just pull out a gun and shoot himself in the head.

>>83819588
she said in French "you're a big guy" and he responded ...for you. then camera crew beat him up

>SUCK MY FAT DICK BITCH

>>83823120
This 2bqh

>>83824013
Like anything, it's practice.
Go to improv classes. Mutter one liners to yourself.

>>83821760
BAD BOYS

>>83823350
He comes off super cringy and shows low confidence when he is exposed to the company of natural chads. There was once an interview with natural chads like the Goose and James Franco, he comes out laughably anxious and awkward.
https://youtu.be/_59dVv5aQlw?t=2305

>>83834253

What the fuck is a 'chad'? Is it some new lame meme that's doing the rounds or something?

>>83819428
there's something about that expression

>>83825056
and then you woke up, with your underpants soiled

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>>83833295

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Buddy, could i have a slice?

>>83834918
How fucking new are you? Jesus christ

>>83819561
Jonah's a big Hill

>>83833295
No, remember? They beat up Jonah's subway couriers. The hired subs.

>>83821760
Do you ...Drive?

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>>83823582
Cereal Box for scale

>>83822435
>I bet you get sodomized pretty often
best part

The only good retort would be beating the shit out of her, but since hes was on tv he couldnt do that. There was no way out for Jonah.

>>83835140
No, this happened while I was awake.

>>83823009
He's talking to the translator over the intercom not to them.

>>83824013
Analyze the situation and state your observations. There are a number of things to make fun of in any situation.

>>83834253
>Goose still dressing in Drive aesthetic
Is he actually autistic?

>>83819428
>I bet you need to fantasize a lot in your dreary life
Or
>We all know the reality you come crashing down into when the fantasy's over