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SIR! YOUR POPCORN! SIR!!! YOUR FORGOT YOUR POPCORN!

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Thread replies: 332
Thread images: 96

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SIR! YOUR POPCORN! SIR!!! YOUR FORGOT YOUR POPCORN!
>>
>falls, spilling popcorn everywhere
*laughtrack*
>>
I didn't buy any god damn popcorn, stop following me around the theater and yelling.
>>
*chains you up and makes you my slave*
>>
>>83788448
I want to give Rob a hug :3
>>
>>83788448
my fucking sides holy shit
>>
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.......
>>
>>83788486

*opening credits*
>>
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
*pulls and fires 9mm keltec*
>>
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>>83788705

you're fucking killing me. anon.
>>
>>83788705
N-NANI?
>>
>>83788448
Can someone give me a quick run down on this forced meme?
>>
>>83788792
shut the fuck up
>>
>>83788792

he's "running down" to give you your popcorn
>>
>>83788705

H-he's fast!
>>
>>83788822
Why anon? I do too, would like a quick run down on this.
>>
https://soundcloud.com/lazerbird-98477393/afternoon-at-the-kinoplex
>>
Goddammit Robert, you're a loose cannon. Hand in your nametag. And your other nametag!
>>
>>83788837
he's "some"oning you to hand you your tub of popcw"one"
>>
>>83788879
because
>>
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>>83788486
>>
>>83788448
OH GOD!

*hops on complimentary theater ATV and speeds away*
>>
>>83788879
>>83788792
thriding this
>>
>>83788509
Don't talk that way about Robert asshole.
>>
>>83788938

STOP

DROP

SHUT EM DOWN OPEN UP SHOP
>>
When /tv/ builds a kinoplex I want us to install lazer targeting guns that shoot people if they make their phone light up.
>>
>>83788448
That's straight out of a nightmare.
>>
>>83788921

kek wtf is this
>>
Oh boy the last time this happened to me I started sprinting away and ran into the live jazz band. Just watch where you're running lads
>>
>>83788792
Robert is the guy who sells you your popcorn
>>
Now LANE I can get into.
>>
>>83789072
Fake
>>
>>83789138
He's been promoted to manager
>>
>>83789072
A girl who fakes tripping and falling exaggeratedly
>>
Thank you, Robert! We can always trust, dare I say it... /ournigga/
>>
>>83788883
kino ending
>>
>>83789226
proof?
>>
>>83789358
Bill Maher pls
>>
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>>83788883
10/10
>>
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>tfw you just wanted some smoked beans before the race but you couldn't eat all of it so you put some in your pocket for later and it dripped out during the race

I hate it when that happens.
>>
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Anyone else eat popcorn like this or is it just me?
>>
>>83789575
You literally have a picture of somebody else doing it.
>>
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>>83788921
>>
>>83789575
But that's me, anon :D
>>
>>83788883
William Shatner paid a guy to make this
>>
>>83788448
Haha robert you so crazy, this is my favorite one so far really made me think hard
>>
>>83789514
wtf

how does this even happen

wtf?!?
>>
>>83789885

there's probably a hole in the pocket
>>
>>83789917
yes
>>
>>83789885
Runner's shits are real
>>
>>83789514

Props to the guy from last summer's Olympics who shit himself and still finished the race.
>>
>>83789885
I remember going for a run with my /fit/ friends. I had to sprint keep up, I had to sit down because I felt like my shit was gonna come out. It happens senpai
>>
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>>83788705
M-masaka!!!

>>83788837
kek
>>
>>83789969
???
Worst case was my thighs burning after all the friction of running but I never felt like shitting. Very curious.
>>
>>83788921
Lane is one of us!!
>>
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>>83788883
Bretty good!
>>
>>83788883
Lel
>>
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Here you go, sir. Your courtesy Falcon Handlers.
>>
>>83788691

>yep, that's me
>>
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>>83790041

Did you properly secure your nipples too?
>>
>>83788883
Memes and autism sometimes produces a masterpiece.
>>
>>83789575
That's how true patricians eat anything. I have countless third degree burns on my neck, chest, and penis.
>>
>>83790172
why not just cut a fuckin hole in your shirt. baka
>>
>>83790130

Why didn't they take the photo so there's a white guy in there too? Seems like overkill to pose the black guy with two girls.
>>
>>83790243
Who wants to see a guy? I'd rather see a qt and Lane too I guess.
>>
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>>83788448
I've already got mine, Robert.
>>
>>83788448
ROBERT FREEEEZZZEE!!
>cinema rex thunders over and eyes him inquisitively
>robert panics and is quickly devoured

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
>>
Hollywood writer here.

I'm stealing this sitcom idea.
>>
>>83790008
this is probably the most unique version of this cut/trope I've ever seen
>>
are robert threads the best things on /tv/? the answer is yes.
>>
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>>83788448
"I didn't order any popcorn, Rob."
>*panting* "Oh. heh. Here anon, it's on the house."
"Robert. I-"
>"Don't worry sir, we had a surplus recently, our miners struck a huge vein in the kettle quadrant and-"
"Robert."
>"We know you're a loyal customer, so consider this a-"
"ROBERT."
>"Sir?"
"This isn't about popcorn is it?"
>"Anon.."
"Looking back now, it was never about the popcorn I suppose."
"But I convinced myself that it was. I think I now know what I have to do."
>"Please, Anon, not like this. We can still help you."
"That'll do Robert. Please let the front desk know I'll be checking out of the kinoplex for the last time."
>>
>>83788883
>it ain't me starts playing
>>
>>83790421
I wonder if Robert knows he has a cult internet following.
>>
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>>83789514
>that old man pointing
holy fuck
>>
>>83790341
I sometimes worry about helper
>>
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>>83788883
so nostalgic for me.
>>
>>83790130
I'd watch this porno

BLACKED sucks wheres all the porno with upstanding blacks making love to white youths
>>
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>>83788883
incredible
>>
>>83790469

honestly I'll be able to die a happy man if we ever find Robert
>>
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>>83788448
Rob, you're the best. What a good friend you've been
>>
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*RAWUGHGH*
That'll be 19.95 plus tip
*RUAUGH*
>>
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>>83788883
Astounding. Like pic related but elevated to art.
>>
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>>83788883
>>
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>>83789678
>>
>>83790219
Why don't you get a bigger shirt
or an undershirt
or any kind of shirt that doesn't touch your nips.
Just get a shirt with holes in it and let's stop talking about it.
>>
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>>83790427
kek
>>
Kinoplex lore is so rich, when are we getting a proper novella?
>>
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>>83790172
>tfw have hairy nips and never get chafed
>>
>>83788792
>forced meme

A talking fetus!
>>
>>83790983


I want to see a Terminal-like Kinoplex movies where a man went to see a movie in the 1980s and never left. They just made the theater more and more elaborate around him Synecdoche-style and he's been living in it ever since.
Also a commentary about how he's still stuck in the 80s nostalgia mode and doesn't "get" modern movies so he wants to escape, only to find the harsh reality outside even more alien.

The poster is of him holding a comically sized popocorn cup while a man is getting gunned down in the back.
>>
>>83788921
no fucking way I might know which theater this is
>>
>>83788879
go back to /b/ already
>>
Why are theater escorts so expensive? I swear the no singles policy is specifically to force escort sales. And they don't even let you bring your own from outside, but I sneak one in sometimes anyway.
>>
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>>83788883
>>
>>83790172
tape my nips, my bloody nips
>>
>>83791196
Bring your own escorts then, dumbass.
>>
>>83791221
>And they don't even let you bring your own from outside
Can't you read? I hope you get your ass pounded by the theater henchmen when you try that shit.
>>
>>83790172
How does that even happen?
>>
>>83791250
Don't tell the theater narcs they are escorts and you'll be fine. Sheesh nigga
>>
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>>83788448
Where do you sit, /tv/?
>>
>>83788883
Modern art that's actually worth something.
>>
>>83789512
in the sequel I'll have to include the penis inspection
>>
>>83791276
right next to stacy for free handjobs
>>
>>83791267
Take a wet t-shirt and rub it across your nipples for 2 hours and see what happens.
>>
>>83788883
>https://soundcloud.com/lazerbird-98477393/afternoon-at-the-kinoplex

nice
>>
>>83791276
The seat to the left of Vin Diesel.
>>
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>>83788883
holy shit
>>
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>>83790427
I don't get it.
>>
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>>83788883
Oh god its so good.
>>
>>83791273
You need a really pricy one to just waltz past the checkpoints. Those assholes at the desks are fucking thorough, which is why I just hide escorts inside a wheelchair and pretend to be crippled. For whatever reason there's always less security at the handicap catapult.
>>
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>>83788883
art
>>
>>83791421
>handicap catapult

kek
>>
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>>83791276
>**symbol represents predicted started position of the In-Theatre Rape Golem

holy shit my sides
>>
>>83790427

I cried
>>
>>83790427
I didn't come here to feel.
>>
>go to see the alien movie
>decide to get a small popcorn
>dude asks me if I want to pay $1 more for a medium
>no thanks
>are you sure?
>yes
>it's only $1 more, are you sure?
>yes dude I only want a small
>OK fine

I was honestly mad. I just wanted a small popcorn. And to make matters worse, they renamed the fucking popcorn sizes, so the size in actually wanted was "extra small" or some bullshit. Fuck Cinemark.
>>
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>>83788883
>>
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>>83790708
Jesus christ
>>
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>>83790427
>>
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>>83788883
How can other boards even compete? Will /tv/ ever cease to churn out the best memes?
>>
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>>83791519
>>83791607
please explain to me i dont get it
>>
>>83790983
l like I've had dreams about the kino complex before I even heard of the meme. Maybe it exists in all our minds and only awaits construction.

>>83791102
I imagine the novella to be like The Naked Lunch - a series of vignettes about crazy kinoplex experiences. Or maybe something like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
>>
>>83791737
Shot up the theater then himself.
>>
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>>83789512
What happens if a woman (female) tries to get in during mandatory penis inspection?
>>
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>>83790708
jesus christ
>>
>>83791276
I try to sneak under Staceys' seats for the brahps.
>>
>>83791775
>implying she could get through the showers without getting raped
>>
>>83788448
But I ordered crablegs Robert
>>
>>83791775
I think your confusion stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of what's going on. You see, "woman" and "female" are not synonymous. The former is a gender and the latter is a sex. A female woman doesn't have to be inspected, a male woman must be inspected.
>>
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>>83788792
it's just a series of memes based on a stock photo of a black guy serving someone popcorn, and is associated with the various movie theatre related /tv/ memes
>>
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>>83791774
thanks.
>>
>>83791869
That twink finna catch this dick lookin at me like that
>>
>>83791276
theater hammock front row center
>>
>>83788921
>used to work at theater
>seen like 3 different girls spill popcorn on "accident" to look quirky
>one girl pulled the dramatic trip spill routine
>her friends all laugh and facepalm and generally eat it up
>she overdramatically mopes back to the counter and sets the container in front of my broworker (known him since sunday school) with that stupid fucking "jim from the office face"
>she asks for a refill and my man just snaps at her saying she faked tripped and she's not getting more popcorn
>girl gets all red, pauses for a second and then fast walks back to her friends

seriously though dumb cunts do this quite a bit for attention, I've even seen a girl put seasoning on her pcorn and then "accidentally" shake it too hard sending kernels everywhere, and the worst part is their date always thinks it's the cutest shit
>>
>>83791276
Valley of Lost Dreams sounds right up my alley
>>
>>83789452
see him in the middle wearing a suit in: >>83790130
>>
>>83791869
Jules can go fuck himself! He never lets me skip the penis inspection!
>>
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>>83788883
why does this give me a sense of nostalgia
>>
>>83792020
It's because he likes you.
>>
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>>83788883
amazing
>>
Can we atleast get a kinotorium short film?
>>
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Why the fuck are these stupid stock photos so expensive? $575? Seriously??
>>
>>83792087
Nice thumbnail you nerd.
>>
>>83792146
got em
>>
>>83792135
Robert's worth it.
>>
>>83792135
Because they are specialized products.

It's not like there is a huge market for specific stock photos.
>>
>>83792011
Absolutely, there's one unskilled laborer seat still available in -B6. We can start your pay at 0.02$/hour and see where it goes from there!
>>
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>>83788448
he tried to attack me, you all saw it.
>>
>>83792020
Dude, Jules is protecting you. Have you never seen the Keeno Peenos? They're these little brown midgets the usher calls when a theater policy needs enforcement or someone needs to be escorted to the mines. If the usher checks your penis during the movie and it doesn't have the stamp, he'll summon them and they will swarm you to do the inspection right there in your seat. And they are ROUGH. Their song is pretty catchy though.
>>
>>83792135
Robert is in high demand.
>>
>>83788448
It's popcorn time!
>>
>>83788448
Why is his arm white? Is he trading with Jeb Bush?
>>
>>83792311
YOU MONSTER
>>
>Hide my falcon in my bucket of crab legs
>Takes for ever to get him to sit fucking still
>Theater attendant is frisking me for hidden pets
>He finds my gun instead
>He knows I'm not the designated shooter
>"Ah s-s-sorry sir I came straight from school'
>He makes me tip him $50 and still takes all my bullets
>Like a dozen people manage to sneak their guns into the theater, and when the designated shooter comes out they have a great gunfight
>Just have to sit there awkwardly the whole time with my falcon asleep in a bucket of crab legs

Fucking never again I swear.
>>
>>83792311
you cant kill robert
>>
>>83792444
>he doesn't bury his weapon in the manlet pit on a previous viewing for just such an occasion

step it up my dude
plus I mean the Manlet Mosh™ is worth the extra 49.99, you don't want to be that guy sitting in the corner of the pit
>>
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Are Robert/Kinoplex threads the best threads currently on /tv/ at the moment? even better then /pol/lack threads
>>
>>83788883
I love when I can escape the penis inspection
>>
>>83792135
>$575
plus tip
>>
>>83792311
>robert's body stiffly raises from the lying to standing like an erecting flag pole
>the bloody wound in his forehead heals gradually
>"Whoops, I spilled. I'll get you a fresh bucket! On the house!"
>>
>>83792135

These are bought by big companies and $575 is fucking nothing to them. I work for a company in the top 50 of the Fortune 500. I was issued a $7500 company credit card because once in awhile I travel for work. I'm only supposed to use it for business travel reasons (buying a plane ticket, getting a hotel, meals, car rentals etc) but I can get away with charging a couple hundred bucks on it a week when I'm not traveling for work and they don't give a fuck as long as the expenses aren't obviously frivolous like spending it at Gamestop or on D&D books at my local /tg/ store. A coworker and I go out for lunch every single work day and charge our company cards for it. I also use it to buy all my gas. I buy $25-$50 gift cards from places that won't show up as frivolous charges sometimes too.

Anyways, the point is big companies have more money than God and a few hundred bucks isn't even a rounding error for companies like mine with an 11-figure annual revenue.
>>
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>tfw local Cinematorium started enforicing mandatory clapping quotas

I know artists deserve praise, even if absent, but requiring the audience a good full minute of clapping and cheering before opening the doors seems excessive imho.
>>
>>83792557
>/pol/keke threads
>good
>>
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how do you guys walk to the kino refreshment stations? pic related is me
>>
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>>83792688
>>
Does anyone have the movie theater ASMR video?
>>
>>83792557
Yeah. They are this year's driveposting and baneposting. Kinoplex threads have been around longer than this year but they only got really good this year.
>>
>>83792637
>clapping leader catches you clapping less enthusiastically than the cinema serfs

what the fuck do they feed those wretches to let them produce such a raucous
>>
>>83788883
When is this getting a full length feature film?
>>
>Movie theater is out of nachos popcornos
>>
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>>83790427
>>
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>>83788883
i think this board just peaked
>>
>>83791869
lex luthor?!
>>
>>83790922
This is a song about a womans problem
>>
>>83792444
>"Ah s-s-sorry sir I came straight from school"

kek
>>
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>>83788883
ebin
>>
>>83788883
The fact he didn't shower brings to question the authenticity of this recording.
>>
>>83792910
underrated kek
>>
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>>83788883

God bless you, anon.
>>
>>83789303
Why?
>>
>>83793015
>le randumb xD
>>
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>>83788883
>it aint me starts playing
i fucking died. im literally dead
>>
>>83788883
10/10
>>
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>>83788883

More /tv/ autism kino coming through
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VNPiK2TXg0
>>
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>>83788883

What do you imagine Robert's voice to be? Is it an American Urban Ebonics? French or Carribean? Like Usher?
>>
>>83793091
A less angry and more articulate DMX.
>>
>>83793060
I thought this was going to be boring until halfway through when he started changing it up.
>>
>>83792444
>>
>>83793091
Sort of like when Dave Chappelle does his white person voice.
>>
>>83788883
Good job
>>
>>83788448
Ay my man, you forgot your twizzlers!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qms3I2kiFeg
>>
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>>83789885

happens every olympics, deathmarch threads on /sp/ are literally the best olympic threads
>>
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*deafening silence*
>>
>>83789678
that's him you fucking retard
>>
>>83793251
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO ROBERT NOOOOOOOO
>>
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>>83788883
>terrorist bombing
>everyone claps
>>
>>83793133

Like the RZA?
>>
>>83791651
Your first mistake was going to the movies
>>
>>83793251

It's a seemingly dark prank that's actually a longstanding kinoplexic tradition, common to North America.

Is there a name for the male and female voices over the PSA system?
>>
>>83792817
The nightmare experience ones were pretty great and that's 6 months (I thought it was a year)

>Roll up to the theater with my falcon Samson
>Penis inspection is taking ages because some fat fucks have esoteric dicks and the pliers were missing
>showers full of pajeets that are barefoot
> wait 20 minutes until the room is sufficiently clean
>rush in when the gates open to get a good perch for my falcon
>Civil war finally starts playing
>At the big fight scene the man chained to the corner for coming alone starts screaming
>it's an absolutely blood curling high pitched cry of horror from having seen this 7 times a day for months
>the bee boy accidentally realeases the bees too early and the bee cubicles haven't emerged yet
>call for Samson and try to find shelter in the cuck shed
>it's absolutely jam packed with Swedish foreign students
>Hide in the corner and hope the doors unlock before the panicked stampeding crowd runs me over
>water slowly drips on me from above, they probably are watching Harry Potter 4
>curl up and feed cold crab legs to Samson for 6 hours until the 3rd replay of the movie ends
>>
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>>83788883
>refugee's welcome
jesus christ
>>
>>83792817
Whatever you say newfriend
>>
>>83789885
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runner%27s_diarrhea
>>
>>83788883
This is a fucking work or art.
>>
/tv/, I have a lot of friends who work in production from grip to camera to sound.

I want to make kinoplex a short film.

First off, I want you guys to help me with a few questions:
>Is the Kinoplex a traditional theater? Or is it a refugee style camp a la Children of Men?
>Are there armed guards everywhere?
>What other food is served besides crab legs and popcorn?
>Is there a blacksmith there who serves the anvils?

Thanks.
>>
>>83788883
holy shit
>>
>>83791869
MMMMMM BOYS
>>
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>>83793578
what the...why are you asking about something that you should already kno-
NO. DONT FUCKING TAKE OUR MEMES YOU FUCKING FAGGOT REDDITOR.
>>
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Introducing: The Kinoplex. The hit new show starring Jules, a young awkward man who's taken a new job at his local cinema and who's taken a liking to his co-worker, Lane. Robert acts as his mentor and father figure while also being in an odd codependent friendship with Anon, a needy and strange moviegoer.
>>
>>83793578
Yes.
>>
>>83792087
lol what a jerk. that jpg is micro machines
>>
>>83793578
kys
>>
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>>83793650
>its a Robert tries to setup anon with a date episode
>>
>>83793278

Refugees Welcome!
>>
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>>83793650
Imagine a Clerks style movie with Robert manning the ticket booth and various characters from /tv/ coming in. It would be like Clerks with autism.
>>
>>83793578

fuck off
>>
>>83793650
>that episode where Jules hides his penis in the popcorn for Lane to grab but Anon in a bout of hunger grabs it instead and we all learn a lesson about boundaries
>>
>>83793578
no fuck off, every time a board tries to turn a meme from a gaseous idea into a solid piece of media it turns out to be shit, part of why stuff like this is funny is because each person imagines it in their own way, and putting it in video form would turn it from absurd comedy into lolsorandum clusterfuck

I watched this same shit happen with broquest on /v/ way back, started as a meme to put all the best vidya tropes together in a game, then people started trying to make it, shit was flung around because different parts weren't what people imagined (though the art was really good) and it ended up flopping and killing the meme because it was now attached to a failed project

tl;dr fuck off idiot
>>
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>>83793650
but Robert holds a dark secret. Deep in the popcorn mines, Robert serves a higher being...will the origins of Robert's sinister deal for the keys to the Kinoplex be unraveled by anon before it's too late? Or will Jules and Lane become the next victims of a place that has only one purpose: serve fresh, piping hot kino, no matter the cost...human or otherwise.
>>
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>>83793578

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE
>>
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God you people have it so lucky.

>Be Me
>Attending my first show at the ARK (Australian Regional Kinoplex)
>Make it through customs and popcorn patrol quickly, only about a 6 hour wait plus I got to skip the interview because my dad is a Cineplus Max card holder.
>Get to the pre-orientational waterhole
>It's dry because some autist forgot to close the vapornet above it (gravity is reversed south of the equator)
>Have to struggle through the Forest of Screaming Eucalyptus while parched
>Can't even wash out my koala scratch wounds
>Finally arrive at the ARK main lobby
>The Kinoroos somehow got out of their pen and are running rampant throughout the interior
>Local senator Sam Dastyari is booming over the intercom to remain calm, but people are being kicked to the floor left and right
>The state-sanctioned poachers helidrop in and start opening fire
>get struck by a tranquilizer dart and wake up in the Bruce den
>Fucking Bruces all around me clammoring about looking for the designated molestation Caprinae
>I barely get to see the screen through all of the hubub
Overall I would say the new Pirates of the Carribean movie could have used more Jack Sparrow.
>>
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>>83793241
From Rio.
>>
>>83793091
Like Idris
>>
>>83791112
for years I've wanted to meet this qt. Knowing the city would lead me closer to my goal.
>>
>>83788448
>finally get approved as designated shooter to fill in for the last guy
>kill all the bulls, even the black ones
>theater is confused
>hurl my grenade into the manlet pit
>thunderous applause
>get fired anyway
>it was fun while it lasted
>>
>>83788448
literally me at work because fucktards can't stay near the popcorn line while I'm getting their shit
>>
>>83793650
"Jules, some of the designated shooters have exceeded their allotted body count."
>calmly loads an AR-15, never dropping his trademark smile
>hands it to a visibly shaken and sweaty Jules
"Take care of that for me, please?"
>>
>>83792929
Who needs showers when you have a 700 meter pool?
>>
>>83790922
How the hell does your shirt not touch your nipples when it's wet? You're supposed to wear a shirt that doesn't chaff
>>
>>83793578
>asking all these newfag question

Don't bother, it will be shit.
>>
>>83793578
if you have to ask, you'll never know
>>
>>83792135
He needs it to support my wife you insensitive prick.
>>
>>83788883
Meme production of the year
>>
>>83793895
You must really suck to get fired from unpaid volunteer work.
>>
>>83794233
i wasnt "mentally ill and white" enough to be a designated shooter apparently
>>
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>>83789512
I've seen this picture a hundred times and I just fucking realised this cinema is literally my local
>>
>>83792135
Reparations tax
>>
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>go to movies by myself because I can
>ask ticket bitch for my ticket "ticket for one for Baywatch!"
>ticket bitch says "for ONE? what's it like going to the movies alone?"
>I say "Yes, for one. what's it like earning 9 dollars an hour?" laugh in ticket bitch's face and walk away
>walk up to stub ripper...say "IS THIS YOUR WHOLE JOB? YOUR PARENTS MUST BE SO PROUD LOL" rip my own stub because I'm not an idiot
>enter eatery, walk up to servant "what will you have?" she asks, "it's okay! I brought my own!" I say while showing her the contents of my backpack with cola and homemade popcorn inside
>turn to those behind me and say "ENJOY PAYING THREE BUCKS FOR COLA, MORONS"
>make my way to cinema doors...notice lots of couples
>"WHAT IS THIS? MAKE OUT HOUR? THIS IS A MOVIE MORONS, NOT A FUCKING LOVE IN, GTFO"
>laugh at them as they leave in embarrassment
>cinema all to myself, put my feet up and throw popcorn at my face because that's how I eat it
>>
>>83793849
!AYUDAME¡
>>
>>83791913
Nah nigga get that homo shit outta heea fo you catch these hands bruh
>>
>>83794420
finna finna finna
>>
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>Two months ago
>Attending mandatory company visitation to the Kinoplex
>Have to prod along my two co-workers because I'm the senior employee
>Whatever, at least I have my new Nintendo Switch to keep me busy while everyone's watching Avengers 17: Infinity War Part 6
>Somehow get my video games past the second security checkpoint
>Guards give me the go-ahead to enter the popcorn mines after the safety training so I can find my designated viewing theater on the other side
>Meanwhile Jamal and Tanner are fucking around, throwing stray popcorn geodes at the slaves
>I keep telling them to knock it off but they keep being annoying assholes
>After having stayed a complimentary night at the Holiday Inn, our day long trek is finally over
>Penis inspection, showers, all the usual
>Ready to view the flick
>After being mentally guided to our seats by the ESPer, I stealthily slip out my Switch
>Suddenly I hear Jamal call out "Yo security, this cracker's got one of them Nintendos in his knapsack!"
>Oh shit
>Accidentally slide the volume all the way up while hurriedly trying to put it away
>"BING BING 1-UP WAHOO IT'S-A-ME MARIO WAHOO"
>The entire theater turns its attention on me
>Arms weak, palms sweaty, knees spaghetti
>Tanner throws an especially large popcorn geode at my head
>Out of the corner of my right eye I see Robert approaching me like an angel coming down from heaven
>Robert knows me, he'll stick up for me
>"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid I'll have to take your disruptive device for dismantling."
>The one time I needed him most he let me down
>Theater enforcers surround me and forcibly exile me from the Kinoplex
>Fired the day after for embarrassing the company
>Jailed for six weeks because I violated the terms and conditions of the Kinoplex
Fuck you Robert you've effectively RUINED my life. I can't support my girlfriend's son on my life's savings anymore.
>>
>>83791978
Blame jlaw
>>
>>83790708
why am I laughing so hard at this what the nigger fuck
>>
>>83793401
>water slowly drips on me from above, they probably are watching Harry Potter 4
OHH NO NO NO
>>
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>>83788883
it feels like im in autistic City 17
>>
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>>83794402
>>
>>83788883
/tv/ confirmed for best board
>>
I can't wait until the Black Panther debut when Bull seats are half off.
>>
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>>83788883
now thats some good shit right there

mmm

right there
>>
>>83788883
yet again this board is at the forefront of maymays
>>
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>>83788883
>Guy explodes
>People cheering
>"Refugees Welcome"
This is art
>>
>>83794402
>put my feet up and throw popcorn at my face because that's how I eat it
Always been the best part of that pasta.
>>
>>83788883
BRAVO
>>
>>83793578

Maybe you should lurk more faggot. Otherwise your gay short film won't be kino
>>
>>83788883
The clip that saved /tv/
>>
>>83790708
Woah why are all those crackas running away? Do they hate black people that much? SHaking my head to be honest family
>>
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>>83788883

Put me in the screencap famalamadingdong.
>>
>>83788448
YO SIR!
*smacks lips*
HOL UP!
*profusely smacks lips*
SIR!
*sucks air through teeth*
YOU FORGET
*grabs crotch*
YO POPCORN
>>
>>83791276

can i get a basic gestalt on the unrelenting star of pain?
>>
>>83788883
I stood up and started clapping even though I'm not in the kinoplex
>>
What happens on penis inspection day?
>>
>>83793578
Coming soon: Meme Lover 3
>>
>>83795008
Your vagina is inspected.
>>
Official Kinoplex powerlevel ranking
Super Saiyan God-Robert
Super Saiyan 3-Lane, right hand of Robert
Super Saiyan 2-Falcon caretaker
Super Saiyan 1-Manlet tamer
Ten Shin Han-Anvil crafter
Yamcha-Jules
>>
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>>83793796
>Kinoroos
>>
>>83792020
He told me his name was Albert. What a fucker.
>>
>>83788883
wew, got most of it but might have missed a few
>>
>>83793723

that sounds good actually
>>
>>83788921
Why did this get so many (You)'s? This is older than most posters on this board.
>>
>>83790708
G-gojirobert?
>>
>>83788448

Can someone explain the manlet pits? Are they merely large enough floor traps that the miniscule stride of manlets cannot step over, and in which now reside countless manlets (wwtl)?
>>
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What's this guy's fucking problem and why is he so smug?
>>
>>83795337
he doesnt give a hoot
>>
>>83793702
>Robert always ends up unwittingly getting the girl
>he never bangs her cause he's a top tier bro
>>
>>83795337
That's Rod the Usher. He's a real jackhole who sometimes presses the eject button on seats for no reason.
>>
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Where did the falcon meme come from? I'm guessing the crab legs meme came from someone making a thread like pic related all the way back in like 2012 or early 2013. And "designated shooter" came from the Aurora TDKR shootings. But why falcons?
>>
>>83795337

>Usher's wisecracks about my Penis Inspection results are a real hit with the tweens and their moms in the adjoining Women's Kino
>>
>>83795323
Adding onto this how bad is the manlet maelstrom and how is its power sustained?
>>
>>83788883
I'm fucking dying.

These are, hands down, the funniest threads on this board nowadays
>>
>>83795487

Our Patrician fetishes have made us all consummate Arabists
>>
>>83788448
ahahaha god damn you faggots and your memes
>>
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>>83795487
>It's a "I'm writing an article for knowyourmeme and need you 4channers to spoon feed me everything" episode
>>
>>83788883
The only kinoplex submeme I don't understand is the anvil. Is it just 2random4u? Solid production though anon can't believe you didn't have to get inspected
>>
>>83794365
underrated
>>
>>83795487
people throw a lot of crap at the wall and sometimes it sticks. There are bird people in public who go around with their birds. So an anon thought "What if this person went into a theater with the bird" and the imagery made other people laugh
>>
>>83795262
(You)'s aren't like upvotes redditard
>>
>>83795614
I visit the blacksmith frequently to repair my armor. Are you saying you don't wear a full suit of armor to your kino?
>>
>>83795614
>it's literally called anvilposting not "kinoplex meme"
kys reddit
>>
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>R-Robert. P-please let us out. The popcorn mine is exahusted.
>>
>>83792135
Robert ain't cheap. Go with Jules if you are such a stingy bastard.
>>
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>>83791869
I want to inspect his ass with my dick
>>
>>83795609
hell naw I'm way too lazy for that shit. It's too much of a pain for me to register for any site anymore, I don't even have a reddit account
>>
>>83788883
anon you should be an audio engineer.
>>
>>83788883
prime
>>
>>83788883
the song that comes on after this is great too
>>
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>>83793780
>browsing /v/. Ever.
>>
>>83788883
dear god its wonderful
>>
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>Here's your popcorn! Mind if I take a piece? Hehe
>>
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>>83788883
This work of pure, uncut autism has retroactively justified the very existence of this shit hole of a board
>>
>>83788883
SURELY SOME AUTIST HERE CAN ANIMATE THIS & GET THE SWEET SWEET YOUTUBE JEW MONEY?!?
>>
>>83796222
What the fuck? You thieving bitch that costed me $39.99 +taxes+tips

Get me your supervisor right NOW.
>>
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>>83796279
>Single kernel cost you $39.99
>>
>>83796269
i second this motion
>>
>>83793578
Go check out meme lover
>>
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>>83796222
Uh... You know what? K-keep it. I'm not hungry anymore. It's no problem.
>>
>>83788883
This is why I visit /tv/
>>
>>83796222
Haha, sure! As long as I can have one of your teeth :P

Just kidding haha
>>
>>83790427
>it was never about the popcorn
holy fuckkkkk
>>
>>83791276
On v row next to the unoccupied stacy
>>
>>83788883
The post that redeemed /tv/
>>
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>>83790427
i hope you found your peace anon.
>>
>>83796812
The sniper has a completely unhindered view of you from there though.
>>
>>83790201
No one said the patrician life is an easy one.
>>
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>>83788883
>the fucking falcons
>>
>>83795798
crabposting
>>
>>83796269
I'm the one who made that and funny enough I am trying to get a cartoon youtube channel thing off the ground. I have a massive amount of video views but a dogshit amount of subscribers, in fact it's been so long since I made a good video that almost all of them are gone. Damn cartoons take an assload of time, but I will think about animating it 4U big guy.
>>
>>83791315
You did amazing anon, thank you for your service
>>
http://cms.everymancinema.com//media/2227/bristol-oxted-reigate-walton-winchester-a5-menu-web.pdf

What shall I get from the kinoplex menu in my next visit? It looks like they've run out of crab legs
>>
>>83788792
You need to go
>>
>>83794402
Are you fucking retarded? Why do you disrespect the Cinema servants like that? Getting their specialized certificate from the Kino Ministry is more work than you've ever done in your life, I guarantee it
>>
>>83795487
The falcons are there to get around the No-singles policy
>>
>>83793866
>for years I've wanted to meet this qt.

dont bother. She's an instagram whore who trips on purpose.

i know, it ruins the charm ,whcih is why i dont like breaking the bad news.
>>
>>83797376
Salt and Pepper Cashews and Whiskey Sour
>>
>>83788883
So many layers, unadulterated kino.
>>
>>83788883
>12 seconds in
>Falcons screaming
Already blew out my sides
>>
>>83788883
so when are we getting this doom level anyway? I thought somebody was working on it
>>
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>>83789512
>>83791315
>>83791775
>>
>>83792688
>only 49minutes
>>
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>>83788883
/tv/ is back
Thread posts: 332
Thread images: 96


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