Finally got around to watching this. What did I think?

Dafuq nigga?

>>83782379
*raises paw*

Uhh I should also add no opinions from black people please

>>83782431
Black folk have been known to live deliciously. It is their way.

it was shit

>>83782245
Depends on if you're a pleb or patrician. If you're a pleb you found it boring. If you're a patrician you recognize it as the best horror movie of the past 5 years.

>>83782245
It was
>reddit
>kino
>pretentious boring garbage
Choose at least one. You will be graded on your response

>>83783071
>reddit
>kino
>pretentious boring garbage

those are all synonyms

>>83782245
It was very good

It did everything it wanted to and didn't pull any punches

>>83782245
Shouldnt have shown witch at beginning, otherwise ok

>>83783232
Disagree
Doubt is important to start with

>>83783071
I choose kino and kino alone

>>83783232
>muh ambiguity
This is a shit opinion. The subtitle is "A New England folk tale" for a reason.

boring

>>83782245
>>83782245
You turned it off after 10 minutes because you realised nothing happens and nothing will happen.

>>83782245
I was disappointed.

>>83783692
wtf are you psychic?

nothing happens: the movie

Atmospheric kino

>>83785102
>slowly zooming shots of North East American forest while it's overcast: The movie

Nothing happens, characters have no character. Really great tone and look, but having a plot and characters alongside a tone and look would be better. Inb4 someone says I didn't get it.

Also everyone mumbles their lines for some reason, no I'm not talking about their accent, they just mumble.

>>83782245
>Depends on if you're a pleb or patrician. If you're a patrician you found it boring. If you're a pleb you recognize it as the best horror movie of the past 5 years.

>>83783692
if only. 1hr30 i'll never get back

>>83785954
>Nothing happens, characters have no character.
How can you think this?
The movie even starts with a spoonfeeding about the father's personality
And literally everyone dies by the end
How can you say that "nothing happens" and that "no one has character"?

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>>83782245
It's an excellent pleb filter. Retards complaining that 'nothing happened' are evidence of that. I bet they think 2001 is boring shit too...

>>83786260
2001 IS boring shit though

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Not enough jump scares for the Paranormal Activity faggots I see

>>83785480
Did you miss the plot?

Why didn't he burn down the forest? Lay some punji sticks? Build some cheval de frise?

Why was he so fucking useless at defending his territory?

>>83786163
Things do literally happen, but it didn't really feel like there was a meaningful story there. All I can really remember was that people mumbled, something about a goat, and the last scene. The rest of it was just mumbling and waiting.

I gave it a fair shake, but I didn't really get an emotional reaction out of anything in the film after the beginning, and was eventually waiting for it to end. Someone could list arguments for the film all day, and while I could consciously appreciate the skill in making the film, I didn't get any sort of reaction out of it.

>>83786926
Cuz he had a thing for ThomaSIN

>>83786260
I watched 2001 twice and was still bored. It's a VFX piece disguised as art to hide the barebones story. Yes I get the deeper meaning behind it, my second watch was after reading a bunch of posts about all the film's subtleties, but I hate films that are longer than they need to be and 2001 could probably have a whole hour cut and not lose any crucial information.

>>83782245
You think it was a meme flick. A lot of people will pretend to like it to appear smart and patrician, but this is a direct result of the film being carefully crafted to cater to reddit sensibilities. The issue wasn't that it lacked jumpscares or that nothing happened(it wasn't boring) as many redditors will claim, it's that everything that does happen was deliberately attempting to impress plebs by affecting an "arthouse" horror style. Every aspect of the film was designed to maximize the "inteligent" horror meme, from the meme stylization of the title as The VVitch to the meme dialect spoken by the characters.

>>83782245
The guy had huge balls.

>>83787072
The Witch is not arthouse. It's not pretentious or tryhard or abstract. What's memey about it?

>>83787371
>meme production company/distributor
>meme genre
>meme take on the genre
>meme acting
>meme directing
>meme writing
>meme setting
>meme marketing campaign
>meme title
These are just the first few I thought of, but the list could go on.

>>83787527
based meme poster

>>83786274
>>83787045
This combined with the fact that the film has been so heavily referenced in other media means that the 1st time you watch it, you've already seen the whole thing. It looks nice though.

>>83787527
This is one of the best posts I have ever read on /tv/

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>>83782245
>Thomasin rests calebs head on her bosoms by the stream.
>mfw

It's kind of dull. I liked the historical setting. But then they end up out in nowhere. Which is good for the atmosphere. But honestly just the normal threats of living in the woods like Indians or bad weather or having an accident and being stranded so far from town; that would be scarier than the supernatural stuff. Like when they lose their horse and son, that is legitimately worrying. Some goofy witch character is not. And then the family of course needs to act like religious retards to piss you off.

I loved the goat though, that was great.

>>83788976
>then the family of course needs to act like religious retards to piss you off.
>I liked the historical setting

Evidently you did not

>>83787527
classic, meme man has done it again

>>83782245
The final scene where she (spoilers) talks to the goat made it go from 7 to 9/10 IMO.

>>83782245
Did you wish to live deliciously?

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>>83791871
>>83792061

>>83782379
Ice Cube would like to have a word with you, whitey.