What is the Rock cooking? Do you smell it?

Smells like another box office TURD!

>>83697638
it's like a video game or some shit cuz its 2017

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>>83697643
This.

The Rock was only ever cooking up fat dumps.

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>>83697638
Wtf, I hate The Rock now!

(But seriously fuck that)

Rock thread? I'd rather watch his Rampage film since it has giant monsters and The Comedian as CIA.

>Baywatch without boobs but with dicks
>Jumanji without magical board game

Amazing. It's like they're doing it on purpose. Say what you will about Michael Bay, but at least he gave us giant robots and ninja turtles.

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Who ordered tummies?

Good. Who the fuck plays board games anymore?Moar liek BORED GAYMES Amirite??

>In a brand new Jumanji adventure, four high school kids discover an old video game console and are drawn into the game's jungle setting, literally becoming the adult avatars they chose. What they discover is that you don't just play Jumanji - you must survive it. To beat the game and return to the real world, they'll have to go on the most dangerous adventure of their lives, discover what Alan Parrish left 20 years ago, and change the way they think about themselves - or they'll be stuck in the game forever.

>>83697638
>implying he has any say over the script
>implying he inst just saying words and doing stuff that is already written down for him

just let the dude work and chill out, if you dont want to see it then dont but stop making stupid fucking threads all the goddamn time faggot

>>83697734
So Jumanji is now literally Jungle Hunt?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xm_W_OKX7Vo

I'm ok with it being a video game. Differentiates it from the original, especially if it sucks.

Is "Zathura" officially part of the Jumanji universe?

>>83697638

The rock has to be one of the most manufactured action stars to ever exist. At least the based action stars like Arnie, Stallone, and Russel spaced out their movies. The rock is in what? 12 movies alone this year? And most of them are looking to mostly be flops.

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>>83697671
Holy shit. Scott Hall was enormous

>>83697638
Haha what, that's the crux of the entire film.

>>83697638

when is hollywood going to give up on making kevin hart the next eddie murphy and stop shoving him down our fucking throats? i'm sick of that nigger manlet

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WATCH MY LITTY REBOOTS!

The original was shit, so who cares?

>>83697638
Who needs a board game when you're gettin litty in this summer's RAUNCHIEST kids movie!?

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Is litty shorthand for shitty?

Because yeah. All the Rock movies that are coming up since Baywatch are toilet-grade litty.

>>83697739
Pretty sure he is a producer in all of this, so he could have ordered rewrites if only he had some taste

What's the point of calling it Jumanji then? They are just setting up for disappointment.

>>83697712
i did

>>83697638
straight into the trash

Will this be Even worse than Baywatch?

>>83697712
I would stick my dick in all of their belly buttons

ZATHURA'S A BLACKHOLE!

>>83697780
Know what else is enormous? The amount of PISS from this summer's RAUNCHIEST litty action flick

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>>83697638
>no board game
>probably has no based Van Pelt or if it does a shitty version of him

THE ONLY THING I SMELL IS THE RAPED ASSHOLES OF THOUSANDS OF CHILDHOODS BEING FUCKED ALL AT ONCE.

>>83698070

how do you know what raped assholes smell like?

>>83697739
>implying he has any say over the script.
More than you think, the lead actors change their lines all the time particularly if they're the "big draw" of the movie which he is.

He can also refuse to do shitty projects with a shitty script and director.

That being said, making it about a magical video game is ridiculous.

That would make jumanji only a couple of decades old at best.

The cool thing about it being a board game is board games all the way back to ancient times so it's easier to believe something is magical if it's hundreds to thousands of years old.

It reeks of bad writing with just the little bit we know about it.

The Rock is one of those guys like Jack Black or Brenden Frasier that I'm pretty sure he'll sign on to any project willing to pay. Which in the short term, this makes for better pay days, but in the long term, it hurts those actors' brand to see that they've been in a long string of shit. They don't exactly get known for quality....

>>83698090
Well I haven't first hand experience but I'd imagine it to be a mixture of shit, sweat, cum and tears.

>>83697643
t. Critic

You dont understand you IDIOTS

THIS IS A MOVIE FOR THE FANS

#ONELOVEROBIN

you critics are so out of touch with the fans, who are loving it.

How raunchy will it be?

>>83697638
Why the fuck is she wearing a shot skirt and tank top when the men are wearing suitable jungle attire?

>>83697638
>Alien prequel without a xenomorph
Can you imagine if tha-- oh wait.

>>83698171
>>83698209
BUT I'M A FAN OF THE ORIGINAL AND I HATE IT SAVE FOR KAREN WHO I WANT TO STICK MY DIRTY WET INTO.

>>83698130
And yet Samuel L. Jackson gets loads of paydays until now for summer blockbusters.

>>83697638
>another reboot
The Rock more like Reboot Man, am I right.

Ha. Funny you're all saying this is bad. I was at an early screening and everybody was pissing themselves laughing. Maybe you just don't have a sense of humour? #criticsarewrong

>>83698213
There's a vine swinging scene that's actually the swinging on black cocks.

>>83697638
Sounds like another fun Rock flick that we, the fans, will enjoy very much but will unfortunately fly right over critics' heads. Those nerds just don't know how to let their hair down and enjoy a good old fashioned American movie, am I right gang?

>>83698240
maybe this raunchy, litty summer flick isn't for you

>the rock
>funny fat guy
>strong womyn thats just a pair of tits for 14 year olds to look at
>comedic side kick #2, black version

It already sucks

>>83698248
Well, here's the difference. Samuel L Jackson is an amazing actor that's good at playing a cunning angry black guy of various calibers.

Even in the worst possible movies, SLJ still comes across as awesomely badass. Rock is different, he's not an epic actor with an amazing delivery. When he does shit movies, he's shit WITHIN that movie.

SLJ is a unique flavor that no one else has. He's always gonna bring something unique to that role that no other guy can.

The Rock only has slightly better acting than Vin Diesel (whom I'm pretty sure has the intelligence of a melon), he's never gonna be any better than the movie he's in like Sam Jackson always is....

Sam Jackson's brand will always be known as awesome, if the Rock chooses a few years worth of box office flops he's gonna be consigned to doing shit like Sharknado the rest of his life...

>>83697671
Is that The Undertaker?

>>83697712
>ugliest girl has the best tummy

ironic

>>83698240

Your dirty wet what?

>>83698505
My drity wet. Then I can fill her with my sexy thick piss.

>another Rated-R remake
Dwayne, please go back to WWE.

>>83698453
Yes it is, albeit well before going to WWF.

>>83698528

If your piss is thick you need to hydrate, bro!

>>83698555
No you don't understand dude I'm talking about my sex piss. I can spray it on her face and tats and it would be a good day indeed my man.

>>83697702
Michael Bay also gave us PG-13 ass and tits.

>>83697638
Man, he's so desperate to be the new Arnold, but the projects he does are all remakes and remakes. Fucking hell, Terminator wasn't a Bob Hope sitcom.
Rock's IMDb page is like a graveyard of forgotten shit

>>83697638
>look at this Jumanji App on the iOS(tm) store

>>83697638
Fans love it already.

>>83697868
money

I'm still trying to figure out why the rock isnt in prison for doing illegal steroids then profiting by getting paid because of his body.

Looks like being a criminal pays, boys.

>>83698759
>so desperate
>best paid actor in the world right now
>he sucks, man, he's so bad
>abloo abloo abloo

>>83697734
It's fine, as long as a game is involved. Makes perfect sense that it's a Vidya game now considering the times.

>>83698643
>pg 13 titties
what, when?

Thought the fat guy was Jack Black at first then I remembered that he's not really that fat anymore.

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>>83699085

It is Jack Black though

>>83699085
It is, I think they got him in a fat suit here to look like one of those late 19th century expeditioners

>>83699059
>LeBron is the best basketball player in the world right now, yet he still can't shake off Jordan's shadow/marketing

>>83699085
>Jack Black in a fat suit
>just looks like regular Jack Black

Maybe he shouldn't have bothered.

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>>83697638
>will not include a magical board game
Oh for fucks sake.

w-what's even the point anymore

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>>83699161
What's with this Ken doll stance? I see guys again and again posing for pictures in this pose, almost as if carrying an invisible box. Looks retarded.

>>83697638
Soooo then it's gonna be (jurassic) safari world? What's the point without the board game?

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>>83697638
>will not include board game

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Sounds like a steaming pile of shit

>>83697712
SEXY TUMMIES
E
X
Y

T
U
M
M
I
E
S

>>83697638
Jumanji had that magical comfy feeling to it.
Also present in Mousetrap. It has something to do with the score and actually having good actors with weight to them.

and I'm not talking about the Jack Black obesity type weight

>>83700136
mousehunt*

>>83697712
son of a bitch

>>83697734
Why couldn't they just be sucked into it and not as adult avatars. Stupid as shit.

>>83697712
>Toned tummies
Why would anyone pick chubby chicks over that?

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>>83700078
Have another

>>83697638
wait is that Karen Gillan aka Nebula gonna be in this film?

>>83700312

Last horse finishes the race.

>>83697638
no...NO....NOOOOOOOOOOO

>>83697638
Well I hope it includes a scene where they laugh at board games and everyone who likes them. And I hope the villain is some board game obsessed freak, what a fucking loser.

>>83697734
sounds awful

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Jumanji will be an app.

>>83700136
yeah there is something special about Jumanji. Its bursting with that 90's feeling of sentimental magic realism that a lot of films had back then.

What even is the fucking point?

>>83697702
>Say what you will about Michael Bay, but at least he gave us giant robots and ninja turtles.
All of his transformers movies are "Annoying white guy and female co-star: guest appearance by Optimus Prime and the autorobots"

>>83698130
That's not the case because this and Baywatch are under his own production company. This is what he wanted.

>>83698352
>Samuel Jacksone character only

>>83697643
what the fuck did you say about the films of dwayne johnson?

How long till Rock and Kevin Heart remake Twins?

>>83700376
kek

>>83697855
It's actually longhand for lit

>>83701403
Why does it feel like this image has gone through several different filters and compressed multiple times?

>>83697638
> What year is -
> Hey chill out, maybe this RAUNCHY jungle flick isn't for you, I know plenty of critics who LAUGHED their ASSES off in the theater! So maybe I'll give YOU one of THESE if we meet in person [middle finger emoticon + Laughing crying emoticon]

>>83697638
>The Rock is in every single movie now
How did this happen?

is it gonna be #litty?

>>83697638
>What is the Rock cooking? Do you smell it?
Do you think he still says this every time he farts?

>>83701282
But they made a billion dollars because they still had Optimus Prime and the Autobots.

Not this schlock of a movie without a board game or Baywatch with RAUNCHY dicks instead of R-18 boobs.

>>83701871
Very shitty. And pissy.

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>Jaws reboot will not feature a shark!

>>83699869
Thank you, you just posted what I wanted to post.

His awful fashion sense is also not helping him there either.

>>83701403
this looks like total shit

>>83697638
Smells of PISS

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>>83702871

>>83697712
Did someone hit the one on the right in the face with a frying pan?

I can see it now:

end of the movie will reveal that the character and the jungle are on a board game played by kids and the mom or dad (played by Dunst or the other kid) will come in and tell the kids to come eat supper, look fondly at the game but leave it htere and follow her kids.

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>>83697638
>Do you smell it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xs39_dGIlWo

>>83697773
I still have that game. Atari 2600 is comfy as fuck. And strudy. That shit I have is older than me, was used all the time and still is and it still works fine.

Probably piss from all his raunchy fans watching his R-18 summer comedy romp that the critics don't understand. Stay litty.

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>>83698134
You forgot blood

>>83703029
It helps that its games have fewer bytes than this post.

>>83703070
True. But I was talking more about the box itself and the joysticks.

also
>my pc game is defective
>go get your pc ficed anon
>my atari game is defective
>just blow so air on the cartridge and it will work again

>>83697734

Could be fun but video game themed movies always end up like the retarded shit of what normies think video games are like like Pixels or Spy Kids 3D.

http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1496936053133.webm
http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1496936180866.webm
http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1496936116960.webm

But this one has Kevin Hart

>>83700260
because then the ROCK couldn't get LITY and have a RAUNCHY, FUN SUMMER ROMP that will make you PISS YOUR PANTS LAUGHING #lovinglife #BAYWATCH (2017) #BROLIFE

The lake forming on top of the former city of Los Angeles is entirely composed of the endless stream of piss that has been flooding across the ocean from the overseas box office success stories all over Europe and especially in Germany surrounding Baywatch (2017) and all the raunchy summer fun that entails. Scientists aren't sure when the flood of piss will subside, but we've been told by climatologists that it is having a drastic effect on the environment, meaning the Earth is literally dying from laughter.

more at 11

>>83702984
They threw the game into the ocean at the end of the last movie

>>83697638

>no magical board game

So why even call it Jumanji? Now it looks like a bunch of people exploring the jungle.

>>83703381
you're just DISCONNECTED from the FANS just like the critics there's a rift there ya know gotta mend those bridges get the critics on the same page as the fans who I fucking love btw

t. not the Rock

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>>83697638
>Jumanji: The Video Game!

Or

>they will have the experiences in the jungle and then one of the characters makes a game out of it at the end, making the film a prequel

>Chris Van Allsburg lives in Providence, Rhode Island with Lisa Van Allsburg, his wife of 40 years. They have two daughters, Sophia and Anna. Van Allsburg converted to Judaism, his spouse's faith.
Dropped.

>>83697638
really making me think

>>83697638
Pretty sure they already mentioned this. I think it's like, an NES era game instead?

There's literally 0 chance of this movie being successful or good.

>>83700297
Tittays

The fans love it! #litty #criticsdon'tknowsh*t

>>83697638
>the complete and final end of The Rocks career
Honestly 2017, nobody ever wanted this. Fuck you.

>>83705277
did it to himself, Baywatch was his"passion project"? what a retard.

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>>83701349
They'll never do as good as Vin Diesel's films and The Rock will always pale in comparison.

>>83705305
At least we can hope he doesn't tweetstorm for Jumanji.

>>83697702
I dunno, at one point he wanted the ninja turtle to be aliens before someone slapped his shit straight.
Everyone is too afraid to slap some sense into Dwayne.

>>83697638
hes cooking garbage
shit garbage

I love dwayneposting

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>>83697638
hes cookin chef boyardee!
http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1496673346296.webm

>>83697638

I have my catheter ready ... see you guys at the theatre

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>>83697734
>2 little boys get drawn in
>1 is the rock
>1 is the ginger girl
>sexual tension is palpable
>but its really still 2 little boys

This movie is gonna be fucking weird

What awful legs. They couldn't find someone younger?

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>>83697643
Sounds like another lil' rauncy summer flick that will make the whole squad go #litty

>>83697712
Her hairline is fucked now

>>83697638
Why the fuck is every fucking movie some remake of an old movie that ruins the original forever? God damnit I'm so tired of this stupid fucking trend of remaking classic movies

Is this just journey to the mysterious island again?

>>83697638
Looks like the setup for some cucked/Blacked porno.

>fat white guy with hot red head gf
>she wants the bbc
>enter two fit ethnic looking males
>profit?

Definitely not something I'm going to see. Hopefully /tv/ pumps out those webms if the red head does anything revealing though.

>>83707801

>when your brain is so diseased that all you see is BLACKED scenarios

fucking idiot, kill yourself.

>>83707572
Hollywood won't risk losing money on new ideas anymore, they will only remake or reboot previously successful franchises.

>>83707835
>not seeing the obvious

no anon, kys.

The modern media love pushing this shit down our throats. There is a reason they choose two fit non-whites, and a fat whitey to star alonside a hot white woman.

>>83707845
Blame the audience. If this shit sells, you can't blame the seller.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc1iipvzr4s

>>83697638
>No board
THEN WHY CALL IT JUMANJI

>>83707931

fucking idiot, kill yourself.

>>83708049
t. "covers eyes and ears and pretends the world is his own fantasy" anon

>>83707931
i don't say this often, but you spend too much time on the internet. it's not even funny anymore

>>83697638
I smell something.... Bullshit.

>>83697638

> Implying anyone is watching this for any other reason than seeing Karen's belly and hopefully wet.

Seriously. The original Jumanji was so great that whatever the sequel attempted it was meant to be disappointing... lets be honest here, we want to see Amelia Pond naked or at least wet and that's it. That's a real reasonable expectation for this movie...

>>83697638
The Rocks been cooking up a big meaty chud.

>>83708284
I was instantly gonna comment on what an irredeemable pile of shit this will be....

then I realized Karen Gillan is in it. And well..... I love me some Amy Pond. Unless if they do something retarded like paint her blue and shave her head her sex appeal should make this worth it.

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>>83705798
Is this confirmed? Sounds hot af

>>83701416
You shut your filthy whore mouth you hear me? Don't give them any fucking ideas for fuck sake.

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>>83697638
>no board game
>no rolling dice

i hope its similar as a nintendo console or something

>>83697638
Can someone give me 5 movies with The Rock that are worth seeing? I cant think of a single one.

Note: i dont give a shit about retarded car heist flicks

>>83697638
I only like jack black

but even then he can ruin a movie if you wanna take it serious in any way

>>83709704
>Faster
>Walking tall
The only ones i've actually kind of enjoyed and Faster wasn't even that good i'm just a sucker for revenge stories.

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>>83697734
so it's Sword Art Online except their avatars look less like them and the game is more mundane than SAO?

>>83709345
Shitty?

>>83697734
that sounds fucking awful
why not just name it something different because its nothing alike the original?

>>83707835
>>83708049
>>83708139

He's not wrong though/.

>>83708139
>>83708790

She is almost guaranteed to be fully clothed the whole film - it stars the Rock. He's the only one allowed to be naked in his movies.

>>83710315
meant for

>>83708284

>>83708790

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>yfw Robin Williams hologram cameo

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>>83710359

>>83701778
R A U N C H Y

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>>83701403
>the huge biracial man and the tiny black man take alpha stance
>hot female in the middle of both
>fat white guy with beta sitting posture in the back
jesus fuck /pol/ is always fucking right.

>>83701778
you forgot to make it the brown middle finger emoticon

>>83711470
good point but what happened to the ayy?

>>83711604
the jews happened
it's classified

I SMELL ROODY POO
and RAUNCHY PISS
we #litty in the year of our ROCK

>>83711470
Why does that ayy look so feminine?