Comfy Lotr thread

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Why didn't Gandalf just stay dead?

>>83693576
What did you just fucking say about me, you fool of a Took?
I’ll have you know I am the top of my order in the Istari, and I’ve been involved in numerous battles against Sauron, and I have over 300 confirmed journeys.
I am trained in Anor warfare and I’m the white wizard in Middle Earth. You are nothing to me but just another orc.
I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Arda, mark my fucking words.
You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over a Palantir? Think again, fucker.
As we speak I am contacting my secret network of eagles across Eriador and your mind is being seen right now so you better prepare for the great battle of your time, maggot.
The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid.
I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my staff.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Valar and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit.
If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” riddle was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.
But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit wisdom all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, yrch.

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>>83693557
>ywn ride to the aid of a foreign country, because oaths run deeper than blood

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Hey Fools,

My name is Gandalf, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are quaint, fool hardy, Tooks who spend every second of your day looking at stupid ass plants.
You are everything bad in Middle Earth. Honestly, have any of you ever gone on an adventure?
I mean, I assume it's fun making fun of people because of your own blood of lesser men, but you all take it to a whole new class.
This is even worse than succumbing to a Morgul blade
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best riddle. I'm pretty much perfect. I was on the White Council, and I'm the highest order of the Istari.
What are you destined to do, other than NOT cross the great sea into the West?
I also speak Sindarin, and have a piping hot staff (it just lit up; Shit was SO bright). You are all crook-legged orcs who should just fall into the nothingness that awaits you. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my staff.

>>83693576

why can't fatso finish his shitty 6th book? how hard can it even be for him to even write his own stuff today? he can just browse the infinite GoT jerkoff forums and steal austically elaborate plots and everyone once and a while he can give his own touch which is describing a character taking a wet shit or "breaking fast".

Total hack.

>pirated the ebooks
>pirated the ice and fire pen and paper rpg pdfs when my friends wanted to give the campaign a try(literally somehow worse than DnD 4.0....)
>pirated episodes until s5
>gf's parents share hbogo with us so i don't even have to bother using my bandwidth on this fat slob.

he has ever gotten a dime from me

>>83694886
>bragging about not paying for shit
jesus christ calm down nigger

>>83694946

I can't stand the idea of my money literally just being used to put food into his face. But i guess that would kill him sooner then I would't care about "Winds of Winter"

I've read like 7,000 pages of his stupid series at this point. I have to finish it. But in 6 years the fat fucker hasn't put out a book.(i know he has taken longer breaks between the past novels, but that was before GoT popularity exploded)

Nobody taxes a dwarf!

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>>83693557
>ywn embrace a qt 3.14 Maia
How to live with this feel?

>>83695000

You clearly don't pay taxes yet.
How do you feel about feeding feral niggers who despite incentives can't read and write, leave single mother households 62-79% of the time, and generally commit the majority of the crime in any given country they are in?

Fuck off. This man at least created something good and it took a lot of effort to make. He's earned your pennies if you enjoyed even half of his work.

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>>83695466
Moralfags don't deserve dubs

>>83693557
I wonder, what has happened to his vassals who didn't answer the call?

>>83695466
Stop posting on 4chan and finish your book George...

>>83693557
The movie didn't age well, and the book is better.

>>83695626
>moralfags
Literally insulting people for being moral.

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>>83697199
Despite your repeating digits I recommed moralfags like you to go back to (((Moralfaggit)))

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How about we make this a LOTR meme thread?

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>>83695441
Why do girls pretend to like Sauron?

>>83697199
nice

>>83695466
>>83697199
based moralfag raking in the digits

>>83698151
I'd pound her ring if you cizzle my drizzle

check my digits - Faramir is the best character

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>>83698236
Sry, filthy unsexy mortals aren't allowed to get dubs

>>83698179
kek