what was his fucking problem?

He doesn't like people because they are covered by germs.

>>83663885
Jerry did not want a rape allegation on him from random white female #8726363

He didn't want human garbage touching him.

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>Kramer: Now what's the matter with you Jerry? A young lady tries to hug you and you shun her away like some common street walker? You were her hero, Jerry! Now she's heart broken!
>Jerry: She went in cold! You don't go in cold for a hug! I'm not a hugger! Is that so wrong? To want to live in a world where we can refuse physical contact from strangers?
>Kramer: I can't believe what I'm hearing. I don't even know who you are anymore, Jerry. What kind of ANIMAL refuses a hug from a sweet young lady?
>Elaine: He's right you know Jerry.
>Jerry: Oh boy, here we go.
>Elaine: To reject a woman... in public no less... it's never happened to me, but I can tell you... it's humiliating, Jerry
>Jerry: No! No more! No more hugs, or kisses, or handshakes for that matter! I'm taking it all off the table! I'm taking a stand!
>George: Ha, you should be so lucky... you know the last time a woman tried to kiss me? It's because I'm not a normie. Women these days only want you if you're a Chad.
>Jerry: If you're who?
>George: Chad. You know, tall, good-looking, rich. A woman would never go in cold for a hug for a betamale like me, I can tell you that. Nope! Not happening!
>Kramer: He's right ya know, Jerry. But now that you refused to a hug a girl, you're no longer a normie. OR a Chad.
>Jerry: Not a normie? Then what am I?
>Kramer: You have autism now, Jerry. You're a robot now. You showed your power-level, and now the whole world knows!
>Jerry: But I don't wanna be a robot!

>>83663885
You can't just insist someone hug you. Maybe Jerry has had a no hugs policy after years of people trying to run up and grab him etc.

Or maybe he's just kind of uptight or a 'no touch' kind of guy. Completely his choice.

Or maybe he just didn't like how she came across. Felt contempt or dislike for her. Who knows. Yeah, that would hurt, but that's life, not everyone is obligated to like you.

>>83664356
10/10

>>83664356
this was fucking perfect

>>83663885
>Filthy goyish woman get your paws offa me.

>>83663885
Apparently he's a huge germaphobe and doesn't even like to shake hands with people unless he has antibacterial wipes to clean up with afterwards.

>>83664356
You're good at this.

You should somewhere where you post these up. Like memes of riffs on shows riffing on memes.

>>83664356
9000/10

>>83664500
should *blog / tumblr somewhere where

But really, you completely mastered the Seinfeld formula there, and it was even funny. You probably have a creative gift for picking up on style and writing scenes. You should look into script or comedy writing, or art or something.

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>>83664356
brilliant

>>83663885
Didn't want to get contaminated with whatever STDs she's carrying on her week-old salty sweat

He simply did not know who the girl was.

>>83664356
Wow, I could really picture the voices. Good job.

>implying /tv/ wouldn't have splurged out and refused also

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>>83664356
this was so good

Neurotic homosexual.

>>83664608
Yeah, he completely captured each character's 'voice' and psychology. And even the logic and structure of the show itself.

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>>83664356

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>>83664356
Nigger/10

>>83664356
>this shit passed as funny 30 years ago

I guess good humor is a relatively recent thing

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>>83663885
To be fair does that look like this? He didn't recognize her and I don't think you'd really let a complete stranger hug you out of the blue.

>>83664356
Previous thread's greentext was better. But have a (you)

>>83663885

She had dick breath.

>>83664641
Actually happened to me once when a qt hot emo girl asked if I wanted to hug and I said no so I wouldn't seem too desperate

How do you like my blog

>>83664765
pit whore

>>83664356
Can imagine his high pitched whingeing there at the end. Daring synthesis.

>>83664356
Nice

>>83664768
I agree. fucking memes

G: What kind of freak just tries to hug random people?
J: I know and I didn't want a hug anyway. Everyone is making a big deal about it, like it makes a difference I refused to hug 'Kesha'
G: YOU refused a hug from Kesha? THE Kesha
J: Yes, haven't you been listening?
G: Well yes, but you never mentioned it was THE Kesha
J: Who the hell is 'THE Kesha"?
G: Have you not heard her smash hit single Tik Tok Jerry?
J:..No-
G: NO?! It's a masterpiece Jerry! And you're telling me you didn't hug that woman!?
J: Ugh, Not you too! I didn't want to hug a stranger! Why is everyone acting as if I hate this woman, I just didn't want a hug!
*Kramer slides in*
K: What's going on, fellas.
G: Jerry didn't want to hug Kesha on the red carpet an-
K: Kesha!? THE Kesha?!
G: I know! That's what I said!
K: Jerry, have you not heard Tik Tok!? It's a masterpiece!
J: . . So I've heard.
K: Do you hate her or something?
J: NO! I Just didn't want the DAMN HUG! Since when is a crime to refuse a hug from someone you don't know!
K: When that someone you don't know is Kesha!

>>83664356
you lost me when George started meme speaking.

>>83666854
cringed. No wonder Larry David said the modern Seinfeld parodies are exclusively for morons.

>>83664356
wow

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>>83664356

>>83664765
>you'll never catch a whole lot of STDs from prime era kesha

why must we suffer like this

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>>83664356

>>83666918
Your life must suck.

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>>83664356
for posterity

>>83667077
Yeah, because I don't find some guy on the internet funny. Everything else in my life is void because of this. Think before you speak anon.

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>>83664356
Good shit

>>83663885
>complete stranger interrupts your interview and demands a hug
>jerry thinks he might be autistic

what could possibly go wrong

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>>83664356
>Season 10, Episode 01
>The Hug

>>83664356

>lifting shit from leddit

I hope you all feel good about up(you)'ng reddit drivel.

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>>83664356
>>Jerry: But I don't wanna be a robot!
This is gold.
Keep going.

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>>83664356
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V2sBURgUBI

would watch/10, B

>>83667122
It's not funny without the Kesha incident for context. Add that in.

>>83667312
do it yourself lazy prick

>>83667397
Do it right or don' do it at all, you useless cunt. Get the fuck out of my thread.

>>83667436
suck a dick

>>83667135
It's because you're a prick to random people on the internet, not because you don't find them funny.

>>83664763
I know right... how did you like the last season of big bang? I shat my fucking pants when sheldon said that's his chair bazinga

>>83667153
Fuck he's gotten old... I don't want him to die :(

He's a Jew.

>>83664356
Impressive.

>>83664356
it was good until the memes appeared, stop with this shit.