Fuck Chris Stuckmann

I love it when he brings up his akward as fuck photo of him standing a few feet away from a buncha black dudes.
"Guise I can have an opinion on this black movie cause I grew up in the hood"

>>83659385
link

>>83659515
https://youtu.be/jmEFfaOMEGQ?t=129

Chris Stuckman is the archetypal /tv/ poster. Why are you complaining about him here? He's one of you.

>>83659149
this isn't even his worst video.

I remember when he made the problem with action movies today boy that one was even worse but his audience ate it up.

He didn't really have much to say but kept repeating the same shallow ideas through the whole video.

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>>83659149
>"The problem with horror movies today"
>Thumbnail is of Evil Dead 2013, one of the better modern horror movies

>>83659149
>psychological horror
>I know this thing I like sucks, but maybe I can pretend it's deep with half understood Freudian bullshit.

>>83659149
I'm not gonna watch this shit. I've seen enough of his material to know I disagree with him on almost everything.

>>83659783
Somebody else who liked it!

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>>83659709
>this shit gives me flashbacks to all my social autism

>>83659149
I unironically think he is the embodiment of r/movies

>>83659149
huge flaw in the evil dead remake
whoever directed the camera shots has some sort of nostril fetish
cause there's more upnostril shots than there are tits

>>83659744
>IMDb tier taste
>reddit tier pretentiousness
>normie-tier opinions
He's nothing like /tv/.

>>83659944
he enjoys capeshit

>>83659944
I hope he's all those things ironically, but I can't stand his videos to actually find out.

>>83659944
Search your feelings. You know it be true.

>>83659944
this.

He's even afraid to ever trash a movie with even the bottom barrel receiving C at least.

Truth be told my question is why do people watch his video exactly? His "criticism" doesn't exactly bring nothing new to the table or even reveals anything. I'm guessing it's because people like X movies and they want to be comfortable in their opinion.

I did laugh when he gave like the first Hobbit film an average rating of sorts and everyone lost their shit on him and claimed he's "wrong".

So much for opinions.

>>83659944
Funny, every time I seek out a recommendation for a horror movie, I get nothing but "MUH PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR" shitposts. Face it, he's /tv/ to the core.

>>83659149
>The Babadook is good
No its fucking garbage. Also he has forgotten to mention the real reason why Horror movies suck. Women. Horror movies are all marketed towards women or "couples" now so hey are complete shit.

>>83659149
>Please watch my video, it's really really bad.
Chris, we know it's you. And we hate you. We ain't gonna watch you. We hope you die.

>>83659944
This is the same board that talks about capeshit and other mainstream blockbuster shit 24/7. You guys constantly have muh company wars everyday. /tv/ loves bvs and unironically considers it to be some deep and hidden masterpiece. It's obvious /tv/ likes capeshit and mainstream Hollywood shlock otherwise this place wouldn't talk about it all the time. I don't why this place tries so hard to act "Patrician"

>>83659944
You're describing at least half of /tv/ my friend.

>>83660333
You know even less about horror movies than him.

>>83659149
I can't watch any more YouTube talking head shit

He is partially right, in the sense that letting one's own brain make up the scare is much more horrifying then dropping a jump-scare.

I feel he climbs up his own ass a little when he starts sucking off Babadook though. Yeah, it was alright, but it wasn't anywhere near the masterpiece he paints it as.

When he goes on to talking about "mature horror fans" I feel he's too far gone to be taken seriously.

It such silly phrasing that garners goofy elitism about "what horror should be xD". Horrors are like comedies, in the sense that what makes you laugh may not make me laugh. What makes you scared, might not make me scared.

Trying to portray yourself as having some universal answer is just retarded.

>>83659149
>"psychological horror."
That's what his channel is. Feel free to tell him.

>>83660516
>modern horrors are bad because jump scares
>video of theatres where 50%+ of the audience are women.
>videos in which women are eating that jump scare shit up
Really makes me think

>>83660457
>/pol/eddit loves bvs and unironically considers it to be some deep and hidden masterpiece. It's obvious /pol/eddit likes capeshit and mainstream Hollywood shlock otherwise this place wouldn't talk about it all the time.
ftfy

Jump scares with loud noises

that is whats wrong with them

>>83660608
Are you talking about modern horror movies or horror movies from the 1980s?
Horror movies have been marketed for couples since at least 1950s.

If stuckmann wasn't so arrogant and didn't treat himself like a film genius or the film critic of the century, he would be fine. He always acts so arrogant for some reason and acts like his opinion is the absolute truth, he's even worse than Adam. I don't consider myself to be some film buff genius but his must watch movies of 21st century list is pretty embarrassing honestly. The movies he listed weren't awful, in fact most of them were quite but when you make a best films of the 21st century list you'd think it would have a lot more variety. In fact all his lists are a bit boring and everything is incredibly generic. Like come on man, adding superhero movies to your must see movies list. Winter soldier is fine, but it's nothing groundbreaking

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if you follow, view or support any youtuber who uses clickbait style of thumbnails for their videos, with a "silly" overly espressive facial reaction, directly next to a photo of the video's topic, then you need to immediately commit suicide. real shit. no exceptions.

>>83660726
RWJ gets a pass on this shit, it was the early years of youtube. And the lil fella is dead now anyway.

>>83660655
It's not such a big problem. Forgettable, boring musical score and bad CGI are much worse.

>>83660793
no he helped popularize that cancersous shit. it was just as retarded then as it is now. he's less the old days of youtube and more the beginning of the worst parts of modern youtube. hope he really is dead.

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>>83659149
Is this my waifu thread?

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Flanel girls are the best.

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>Hey, anon, hop on.

>>83659149
Nah this video is pretty much spot on in its criticism of schlocky cashgrab horror movies like Annabelle and Paranormal Activity 4 or 5 or whatever it's on now.

Someone with a good sized audience needed to talk about how horror movies need to transition from jump scares back to that Carpenter-esque style of building tension in a creepy way - I think we can all agree that he's making a decent point.

I don't get the hate for Stuckmann, not moreso than any other YouTube reviewer. At least he occasionally tries to delve into a sub-surface analysis of whatever movie he's discussing rather than Jeremy Jahns who provides a 2 minute summary and some meme faces.

Stuckmanns reviews have become quite shit, his movie skits are terrible and his aunt jemima bandana wearing wife are all slightly irritating (not as much as his laugh...) but he's a decent movie reviewer.

I think the only reason /tv/ hates on him is because his material is easily accessible and he's generated a large following. Most people here think their opinion is superior, so they should shit on him for pleb tastes...in which case all I can say a start your own channel brehs.

Also
>posting a 2 year old YouTube video and expecting anyone to give a shit

>>83659149
Explaining everything is the problem with horror today.

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Pocket jew a cute

>>83660655
>>83660564
Hi Chris and Reddddit

>>83660998
I do agree that the "Carpenter-esque style" is much more enjoyable than the 24/7 jumpscare shit. But the issue I have with his review is that he praises Babadook and Oculus like this is the gold standard when they're films I'd personally find exhausting to watch. I'm a filthy friendless degenerate so I don't have friends to go watch movies with but I imagine the reason the reason the cashgrab shlock works because that's the people that spend money on movies will be willing to see more often. You want to watch some stupid shit and have some fun by getting spooked after work/on weekends. Few people actually love horror so much, especially LE PATRICIAN PSYCHOLOGICAL, that they will be willing to torment themselves and their friends

>>83660852
I want her to fuck me in the Deadite makeup.

>>83659149
>tfw too smart for movies

>>83660998
Tell that to Zod's snapped neck.

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>>83661204
This anon knows what's up.

>Anon, are you the dick?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48c9Vt4kdDk

>>83660998

I'm not gonna give the man views, but from what you're saying, nothing he's said actually constitutes original insight or intelligent analysis, largely because literally every other critic has already said this stuff before about previous generations of horror movies, but also because the problems you mentioned have ALWAYS been the problems with horror movies, going back as far as the Universal monster features - or, if you're not convinced by that, Hammer Horror at least. Even Alien (1979) delivers on its tension and unease through jump scares. Annabelle and Paranormal Activity 3, 4, 5, or whatever are just the latest manifestations of Friday the Thirteenth X and a Nightmare on Elm Street 7. Psychological horror is generally upheld, as the name would suggest, as the most cerebral kind of horror movie, but the term's too broad and all-encompassing to actually convey anything meaning idea of what a horror movie should be, when you consider the breadth and variety of the genre in general - one in which Troll Hunter, Let the Right One In, Get Out and Lake Mungo all occupy the same space.

>>83661410
any meaningful idea*

My favorite Stuckmann moments are when he always brings it back to himself. Like the Get Out Review, when he held up a picture of him with a bunch of his black friends at the start of the review.

Chris Stuckman is genuinely one of the ugliest men I have aver seen but I can't quite put my finger on why. I think it's because he looks weak and feminine and also greasy. I can imagine him having cheesy, orange snacks stuck in his braces as he spouts his shitty opinion about a shit blockbuster. I bet his farts smell exactly like a womans. This guy is a joke. He is the epitome of normie, faux intellectual clickbait bullshit that is a cancer in this modern generation. His eyes look sad and empty, like a farm animal waiting in the abattoir. His lips look as though they belong on a fish or toad. I hate him. He repulses me and I want him dead or at least 80% burned. He is a normie. He is a cynical, cash grabbing, dimwitted and beta fraud and I would slap the shit out of him and tell him to grow up if I met him. His t-shirts are made for children and his body is like a progeria child. He is a disaster and his little deformed ears make me sick. Very bad bone structure that no amount of his mother's stolen makeup can hide. His pencil thin dick will never make a lady smile and I guarantee that he is a sex pest. He is a degenerate pervert that I would not trust around children or the elderly. His feet fucking stink and his halitosis ruins every microphone that he uses. This sulphur bellied low testosterone manchild needs to be stopped. I despise Stuckman and he is a skinnyfat rodent head that reeks of desperation, cheap deodorant infused with BO and eggy popcorn. He is also a racist.

Psychological horror is just cop-out horror, its for writers and directors who want to be arty but don't have the balls or the brains to make a real horror with supernatural elements. Then it gets eaten up by faux-intellectuals who confuse lazy metaphors for depth.

The problem with modern horror is it's fanbase is infected with try-hards who want to turn the genre onto an arthouse human-drama yawnfest, while completly ignoring gems like A Dark Song that are both deep, well written and genuinely supernatural horror.