DE NIRO CONFIRMED FOR BAYWATCH 2

why is he such a fag

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The fuck I found out last week that the Rock was a wrestler

>>83636278
Hes more sniffing de niros hair than kissing him on the cheek. Its so weird

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Who /RAUNCHY/ here? Seeking some RELEASE from numbing ANGUISH me and the boys rolled up to DAS KINOPLEX last night after a harrowing forty mile TREK through the frozen WRAITH-ZONE making it just as the ravenous TYRANT MOTHS began their pre-mating MANHUNT. The distant FOG-HORNS gradually being overtaken by the deadly, silken FLUTTERING of their sable WINGS.

The EMBERS of the last audience were dying down in the CREMATORIA, needless to say we had a good LAUGH in the PENIS INSPECTION line when my bro Skyler got DRAGGED OFF by the guards to serve a fifty year sentence in the POPCORN MINES for wearing a non-regulation FALCONER'S GLOVE. The SHOWERS were pumping that good-ol' ZYKLON-B that gets you extra loose for the RAUNCHY fun; trying to hold your BREATH is good practice for trying not to PISS yourself later.

My man ROBERT served us up some tasty and very litty CRAB LEGS with extra 'BUTTER', well worth the SEVEN HUNDRED and EIGHTY TWO dollars FIFTY for the TIP.

Once we were INSIDE the film hadn't even STARTED before the first drips of PISS came out. An y'all just KNOW that nothing sets off the bloodlust of a TERROR-GHEIST like warm, 'buttery' PISS. Half the SQUAD was DRAGGED into the OUTER-DARKNESS before our BLADDERS were half-empty but even the keening shrieks of the ORPHANED ONES couldn't drown out this raucous COM-BOMB.

When the GUARDS came to finish off the SURVIVORS I was able to ESCAPE by using the CORPSE of my bro JONNY D as a CANOE when the lake of PISS was drained down the sluice normally used for flushing blood and FLESH. I only had to wait THREE HOURS in the rank soup of run-off MEDICAL WASTE and avoid the TELEPATHIC SHARKS that make the sewers their HOME. It wasn’t so bad except for being driven MAD by the hungry WHISPERS of all the GHOSTS.

10/10 SUMMER FUN, would SEE again!

>deniro: why the fuk is this homo kissing my head, who is he? I just wanna go home and pretend I'm a mafioso

>>83636235
YOU JUST KNOW

>>83636235
>Production Budget: $69 million
>Worldwide: $68,865,723

slow and steady wins the race

littykino is back on the menu

>>83636347
Doesn't account for the adverting budget. This film is a big flop.

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>>83636235
A movie star is a person who is able to sell a movie entirely on their own name. For example Oblivion wasn't a science fiction action film, it was a Tom Cruise movie, as is almost everything he has beeen in since the 80s.

There used to a lot of people who could do that back in the day. Harrison Ford, Paul Newman, Will Smith, Brad Pitt, Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino, Clint Eastwood, Robin Williams, Bruce Willis, Sean Penn, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Robert De Niro and so on

Now, Arnie stars in low budget shitfests, Bruce Willis is recognized as a walking cuntpunt, loads are just dead or fucking old like Eastwood and WIlliams. Some just don't give a shit anymore and just do easy scripts that allows them to earn a steady income while remaining in the public eye like Robert De Niro and Pacino.

Crusie however is an ageless demigod billionaire that performs heroic feats on camera for shits and giggles. He picks projects he thinks will actually entertain a large audience without pandering. Him signing on a film suddenly means that all kinds of talent start flocking to the project because they know that Cruise hands turn shit into gold and everyone wants in on that action.

I mean if anyone else was working on the Mission Impossible films, that series would have ended after the second one. instead they came back hard witht he third and the franchise is still something you can look forward to if you just want a nice inoffensive action film.

>>83636690
Fuck off Ebert

Fan base > Elitist Jew critics who slam a fun film that's INTENDED to be fun because it's doesn't mention the Shoah

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Goddamn it, De Niro, why do you continue to whore yourself out to whatever trashy movie comes your way? You were once considered a modern Brando, but now you're picking up any script that you can fish out from the garbage.

>>83636690
Haha, just wait for the merchandise deal from this franchise

>>83636739
but... why the image?

>>83636802
Baywatch 2 has the chance to be the best sequel since The Godfather series. So stfu you plebtard. Back to your reddit safe space, CRITIC

/LITTY/

IF DUBS WE GET 10 MORE MOVIES

>>83636235
>BAYWATCH 2
Wait what?

>>83636802
He needs cash to finance his movie festival.

>>83636329
DeNiro is a fag too
He's a literal butt baby

>>83636739
pity about the jack reacher heap

>>83637040
Roll

>>83636802
He's a libtard. They don't know how to handle money

>>83636235
Nobody like Deniro anymore.

>>83636802
Big deal. Brando made Don Juan de Marco and Island of Dr. Moreau and tons of other shit.

It's all about the green, son.

>>83636802
because he's already proven he's a great actor and he's old as fuck. Dude probably just wants to relax and chill while still pulling in some income through these easy, "fun" movies.

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>>83636802
>"I wouldn’t have to keep making s--tty movies if you didn’t spend all my money!"
https://www.google.com/amp/amp.www.complex.com/pop-culture/2017/02/robert-deniro-makes-shitty-movies-because-wife-spends-all-his-money

>>83637713
>one of the greatest actors of all time
>can get literally any chick
>marries a chimp
explain this please

>>83637827
Not everyone is as racist and as afraid as you are

>>83637909
Or maybe he's racist against chinks and spics and his wife is his not racist beard

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>>83637827
>>83637909
The bitch does not look bad for her 60's

>>83637909
>one of the greatest actors of all time
>can get literally any chick
>marries someone ugly

hows that?

>>83638136
If you marry a 10 youre gonna blow your fucking brains out. They are crazy.

>>83638280
there's a gap between 1 and 10

>>83637909
>afraid
kek

does deniro have a lot of debt or something? he's been in shit movie after shit movie for 20+ years

>>83636739
Enough with this pasta ffs.

>>83638135
She was never beautiful. He married her when she was 42.
What the fuck De niro ?

>>83636235
>be in my movie or I'll fucking break your neck

>>83636235
De Niro has to take any role he can get nowadays. Him making that cringy clip about wanting to punch Trump in the face, was the best way to get kicked out.