Salazar's Revenge

GHOST SHARKS

It was better than 3 and much better than 4, not like it's saying much.

Also your pros are too superficial to be pros.

>>83626702
>>83627201

It was the worst of the 5 and completely forgettable. Depp phoned it in, Wills spawn was shoehorned in for absolutely zero effect, Barbossa ending lacked any emotional punch because that shit already happened in THE FIRST FUCKING MOVIE

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>>83627389
true, but nobody gave a shit about him because he was a 2D albeit VERY GOOD 2D villian. 3D was you cared about him.

>"Treasure" got me to tear up

Learn to movie you literal tard

I liked it as an adventure flick but I hated how they explained absolutely nothing about how or why Salazar was cursed and how it relates to the compass.

How did Salazar even know about the compass when clearly Jack didn't?

>>83626702
>Will and Liz are back
Biggest bait and switch since Kangaroo Jacket. Orlando Bloom had a total of 3 mins screen time, Keira Knightley even less. She didn't even have any lines

>people who keep saying 5 is better than 4
Literally how. 4 is miles ahead of 5

>>83629575
They both get a pass for their villains alone, but agreed 4 was then better.

>>83627748

wut

>>83626702

great movie. loved it. Much more fun than "on Stranger Tides"

the hell do you mean "Suddenly Salazar can possess people"? He's a fucking GHOST. ghosts can do that in most media.

The reason he didn't do it before, is because, like his first mate warned him, if you possess someone, you are stuck inside them. That's why he didn't do it!

The only reason he chose to do it then is because he was confident that the trident would allow him to leave Henry's body (and it did)

Was Salazar about equal in power level to Jones?

>>83629575
4 is literally bottom of the barrel, there's nothing of value in this movie aside from Barbossa.

>>83628597
>how or why Salazar was cursed and how it relates to the compass.
The compass is an EXTREMELY powerful artifact, when Jack used it on Salazar it didn't just point into the Devil's Triangle, it pointed to getting rid of Salazar, but as always, such power comes at a price, and at that point Jack made a "contract" with it, Salazar being the compass' security, so if Jack were to ever betray it, it would release his deepest fear, in this case, an immortal pirate hunter that would specifically hunt down Jack.

>>83630586
I enjoyed Penelope Cruz and her big fat tiddies

>>83626702
Your first two "Pros" only appear in 1% of the movie, and the third is a chore to look at.

>>83630495
Probably above, him, his crew and his ship were all rape machines.

Barbossa was ruined by this movie

>>83633847
Barbossa was already neutered last movie.

How was Paul McCartney in it??

>>83635781
The cameo was very bad

>>83626702
CONS
>jack did absolutely nothing in the movie other than stand around and spout quips
>salazar went from a badass spaniard with a huge ship to a zambeh with down's syndrome
>new characters are literally cardboard cutouts of will and elizabeth with 500% more grrl power and less character development
>will and elizabeth themselves have nothing to do with the plot and just tacked onto the beginning and end of the film as nostalgia bait
>complete disregard for the established continuity (will suddenly growing tentacles, giving away the compass releases your worst fears when half the characters in the third movie traded it between each other, etc)
>the whole plot/setting is pretty much ripped off the first four movies without any of the good parts

PROS
>the flashback scene was pretty cool i guess
>nothing else

> Huge flop in the usa
> figure that this will be the last movie
> It's made 400 million overseas alone


China has shit taste.

>>83636420
>figure that this will be the last movie

It might have been. I wonder if they teased le tentacle face man knowing they might never get to make another.

>>83636741
I don't even get the point of teasing him. It just reinforces the thought that they've completely run out of ideas.

>>83630495
weaker than Jones.

Salazar was merely a ghost. Davy Jones was the devil of the sea

>>83626702
If breaking the trident removes all curses how did Will survive both having his heart removed and being deep underwater on Davy Jones' ship?

Salazar and his crew turning back into humans and drowning was absolute bullshit.

>>83636346
Did you...even see this movie.
>will suddenly growing tentacles

The FUCK are you talking about? Will was not growing tentacles. The only thing he had on him were barnacles

>Salazar turns to a "zambeh" with down's syndrome

1st off, what? Salazar didn't act any "dumber" than he did when he was alive. 2. Ghost. not a zombie

Again I ask. Did you even see this fucking movie or did you just read the wikipedia entry and guessed the rest?

>>83630586
It was funny, entertaining and it had a new OST

>>83637416
This.With "the dead taking control of the sea" I kinda expected more

>>83635781
Not very funny.

>>83636346
>the flashback scene was pretty cool i guess
The flashback was the worst thing about the movie next to the marriage nonsense that came out of nowhere, made us puke a bit in out mouths and then went away just as fast as it came.
>complete disregard for the established continuity
Just make your fucking mind already.

>PROS
>no bank robbing
>no guillotine
>no ghost sharks
Please.

>>83637466
>4
>funny
>entertaining
For fuck's sake.

>>83626702
Is that the 5th one

>>83637431
>The FUCK are you talking about? Will was not growing tentacles. The only thing he had on him were barnacles
I honestly can't remember because Will appearing and then not being relevant until the last scene was so forgettable, but he certainly had more sea creature shit than just barnacles.
>1st off, what? Salazar didn't act any "dumber" than he did when he was alive. 2. Ghost. not a zombie
>SPARRUH SPARRUH WHERE ARE U
>oh noes!! i stepped onto land

>>83626702
>Davy Jones back

That's never Jones. His claw is on the wrong arm.

>no original Black Pearl crew
You will take Gibbs and Marty and like it.

>suddenly Salazar can possess people
He didn't before because the process isn't reversible without the Trident.
They probably had one unlucky crewmember try it when they were still trapped in the triangle, and the poor sob probably starved to death a second time.

>>83628597
Salazar saw him proudly sling it around seconds before we crashed into the riff, the image burned itself into his mind.
He probably asked the survivors of each ship about Jack, and since people knew his compass was magic, he must've learned of its properties that way.

>>83639377
He didn't. he would have disintegrated if he stepped on land. Some of his dumber crew members did that though.

>SPARRUH WHERE ARE YOU!

That's is accent. And he continually said that around Jack not because he was an idiot and could find him or something. He was doing it to taunt Jack. to make him scared. EACH TIME he did that, he was always heading STRAIGHT to where Jack Sparrow was (Jack of course always gets away because Main Character Plot Contrivance). you can't insult the villain's intelligence because the writers keep giving Jack Deus ex Machinas to save his incompetent ass

only good thing was salazar

jack sparrow was not only irritating, but it was just sad to see how flanderized hes become

>first film
>cunning witty charming pirate captain
>this film
>actual alcoholic who you can barely understand

>that mystery surrounding jack in the first film and all his little trinkets
>lol no he was just handed his entire ensemble by his crew in 5 minutes

sick

>>83639377
>but he certainly had more sea creature shit than just barnacles.

Nope, basically just a few barnacles and seaweed on his bandana and face. Bootstrap Bill looked worse in DMC and all he had apart from that was a starfish growing out of his temple.
You could argue that they grew there naturally because the Dutchman travels below the surface mainly.

Walked out of the theatre.
Things that did me in:
>First bit was ok, backstory about the kid, he's savvy at navigating, meets a ghost crew. They're all creepy and Bardem is creepy.
>Something about a trident??
>Gets to the new girl
>She's in a cell
>"Do you have anything to confess?"
>explains her entire character bio in exposition
>Jack Sparrow just acts like Depp's Mad Hatter
>Literal "I have great luck" bird-poop-on-the-shoulder moment
>Pants falling down goofy hijinks
>Literally nothing happens, everything is explained through exposition in awkward conversations
>Cut to Barbossa who is gay now??
>Exposition about what the ghost crew is doing
>Exposition about him and the witch
>looooong fucking conversations just saying "remember when we-"

Then we left

>>83640446
He was cursed by Barbossa's sea witch, they said offhandedly that she cursed all his enemies for him rescuing her from the noose.

>>83640528
>Barbossa who is gay now

Just enjoying the high life and some culture. He's actually very much not gay, as this movie proves.

António de Oliveira Salazar

>>83626702
Watched it for the second time today, I liked it better this time around.
Also, before anyone asks how Salazar knows Sparrows name even though he never learns it before his death, that can be explained:
When Jack jumps down from the crow's nest, he abseils down from a rope that pulls his Jolly Roger up into Salazar's view, so he only had to ask the next poor soul entering the triangle whether he knew the captain of the ship sailing under that flag.

it was good because i was thinking about what it'd be like to have carina as a gf the whole time

>>83626702
Yes the character was annoying but in 2017 for a woman to be blatantly objectified like that was rare and amazing, watching in 3D and seeing those awesome tits in every possible angle except I guess downblouse was just hot. More skin/nudity on 3D blockbusters please Hollywood.

BTW I don't care if I sound like a virgin here its true and you know it.

The Salazar adoration is too far on these boards. Yes he wanted to kill pirates but doing so dishonorably makes Salazar a bad person, no need to drown them on purpose or get off on torturing them. Salazar isn't a good person.

Also >>83637811
were underrated scenes, in fact that was probably the best guillotine in movie history at least since Master of the Flying Guillotine.

>>83640584
Nah, Jack isn't Barbossa's enemy. They're secretly total bros.

I'm probably retarded but I thought at the end of the third, Will served his 10 years and was then freed?

>>83641932
The Dutchman needs a captain. Will got his one day ashore after 10 years at sea. This whole thing is just damn stupid, nothing stops his wife and son to get on the ship and like Jones proved in AWE, you only need a bassin of water to get on land.

>>83642132
Also, why the fuck in the beginning of the fifth was Will so worried about the crew
>hurry Henry! They're coming!
You're the fucking captain

>>83642219
Just an excuse to make him leave. Adults/parents always tell scary stories to their kids to make them behave.

>>83642132
Yeah but if he doesn't do his job for 10 years he'll probably grow tentacles like davy jones

>>83641461
Carina is also meant to be annoying, the movie shows that she is not at all automatically right, she's very arrogant and rigid in her beliefs.

>>83642348
I suppose, but as >>83642132 said, there were several instances of regular people hanging out on the Dutchman and Jones going on shore. Why couldn't Henry or Elizabeth just chill on the Dutchman for a while or Will could come visit them in the bathtub or something

>>83642562
Yeah but having her not apologize or acknowledge she was wrong just made her come off as a cunt

>>83635781
Holy shit, I didn't even recognize him.

>>83641675
In the same conversation she called him his rival and he immediately knew she meant Jack. Doesn't matter how Hector sees it, it mattered whether to her a rival counts as an enemy when she cast the spell.

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>>83626702
The plot made absolutely no sense. I was hoping they'd try to do a simple action story like the original. It started out nice and simple but got just as convoluted and crazy over the top as World's End. By the last twenty minutes I was just praying for it to conclude already.
This franchise is the most tired-feeling franchise out there. Either go back to basics or just stop making these movies. Same goes for Alien.

>>83642569
>>83642132
The flying dutchman ferries souls into the alterlife, regular humans probably can't go there

>>83642617
Conpletely correct assumption. She's very much like her based Daddy in this regard. Always projecting the hardass to the world while hiding greater kindness and nobility inside. Her time will come.

>>83642731
Henry did in the opening sequence.

>>83642813
They are not in the alterlife all of the time and will told him to fuck off

>>83642667
>convoluted
How?
Salazar just wants to kill Jack and wreck pirates.
Barbossa and Jack want to get rid of Salazar via the Trident.
The Royal Navy wants the Trident to ensure dominion over the sea, like the EITC wanted to use Jones.
Carina and Henry both want to find their fathers.

>>83642667
The problem being that the writers tried to give reasons and purposes behind everything no matter how clumsy instead of keeping it straigthforward. I think that worrying about the lore under the assumption that the fans need it is utterly misguided.

>>83637354
shut the fuck up thats how

>>83637354
The ship ported from the locker straight to the surface and he grew a replacement heart, just like the ghosts did.

>notice how the clothes of Salazar's men remain damaged after the curse is broken
>that means the guy who was reduced to two hands and a head is now naked apart from his cufflinks

Handsman had a hard life. When the crushing depths engulfed him, death came as a blessing.

The movie had a few high points but overall it was pretty bad for a Pirates movie. Depp seemed pretty bored playing Jack, the villain was pretty gay, and Barbossa was wasted. Certain highlights like the guillotine part were unfortunately overplayed.

>>83637354
Wondered the same thing. Turned out they were surfacing when the curses got undone. Lucky coincidence.

Dispelling the curses probably dispelled the powers of the ships, causing the Flying Dutchman to surface rapidly.

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>shitty will & liz 2.0
>boring villain
>jack lame AF
>barbossa ded
>chinese hardsubs on the TS

>>83626702
By far the best movie this decade.

The soundtrack alone elevates it about the rest, Carina was fucking great and finally provided a real emotional core to POTC beyond muh freedom, Salazar is a fun although underused character and the visuals were amazing, although again a bit underused, would like more ship eating and more different locations.

As for cons:
>Henry is boring
>the marriage shit
>Elizabeth didn't say a fucking word
>I do miss the somewhat threatening Jack from the first POTC, it makes sense that he's washed out now but still
>the retcons
>Barbossas death felt forced
>the navy ship searching for the trident was random as fuck
>the plot could've used a twist or two

8.5/10

They did some stupid things like slowmo scenes that didn't need it ( shark is debatable but bank bridge was stupid ) and suddenly make Salazar mean to his own men. It makes sense that Salazar wouldn't be honorable to the pirates because he hates them, but him showing that same level of dishonor to his own men made his hatred of pirates seem nonsensical.

>>83648131
He was trapped in the triangle for decades which can't be good for your mental state and pretty much attacked everything that passed. With time he became obsessed with rage and revenge, he stopped giving a shit about pirates.