Why don't you have a beard /tv/?

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I can't grow one

>>83615172
I do actually along with medium length, no so long hair

I'm not a nu male.

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>>83615195

>tfw

But I do have one. It's longer than Kurt's Thing beard so it's not as neat (or cool) and it's not quite as thick but it's pretty good.

>>83615212
So you do have a beard, then?

>>83615195
same :(

>>83615267

No, he said he wasn't a nu male, idiot.

>>83615172

Why wouldn't they just leave him alone so he could get drunk in his shack?

>>83615333
Ok, so he does have one.

>>83615195
This

>>83615267
>not a nu male
Having a beard is peak nu malery
>look how masculine I am teehee please fuck my wife

i do

i can't grow a beard. my pubic hair is pretty impressive though

>>83615172
Shaved it off three weeks ago. Already growing it back. Forgot how stupid I look without it. Can't grow one as thick and full as Kurt in the Thing though which sucks.

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>>83615172
thing thread!

>>83615172
because beards are for muslims

>>83615435
>>83615172
if you were a thing and someone tried to shave your beard would all the hairs start freaking out and reveal your secret?

>>83615212
This. I shaved my beard when I realised how embarressing the beard """"""""""culture"""""""""" had become.

>beard
Don't you guys mean chin fedora?

Because having a baby face is better for getting le laid

>>83615404
>look how masculine I am

Or, and here's an interesting idea, I just wanted to grow a beard?

>>83615397

No, only nu males have beards. They have to compensate for being such a pathetic fuck by growing facial hair. Congratulations on being a nu make redditor.

>>83615456
they have neckbeards without mustaches

>>83615466
I have noticed this as well. I cringe inside when someone tells me my beard is "glorious" or "amazing" and that has happened, I kid you not. The worst one of all is when they say it's godly. I'll tell you what, I can't fucking stand people anymore.

>>83615524
Cool story bro.

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>>83615525
holy shit, you're right

>>83615581
cool story bro

>>83615643
Sweet

>>83615675
sour

>>83615172
It is summer, and beards in summer are less than pleasant.

Beard it from November to March most years.

>>83615702
you can't grow a majestic beard that fast

>>83615466
>>83615581
>tfw you stop liking something you previously liked because people you don't like are currently liking it.

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>>83615747

>>83615702
To have a good beard in the winter you need to start in spring, this sucks especially to me because I live in Louisiana, I don't shave it off I just take
Most of its fluff out, been having mine for 4 years and I love it

>>83615515
Then you're a nu male. Please hand over your balls to the nearest Matriarch.

>>83615792
All it takes is one guy or girl unironically telling you your beard is "glorious" and you'll want to get rid of it. I'm serious. Having a beard these days can actually draw the attention of nu males and tumblerinas.

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>>83615829
>I want something
>That's because you're a nu male!

>>83615792
I don't want to be assosciated with human garbage, and it took literally seconds to get rid of. I don't have to deal with beard culture or faggots telling me it's 'glorious' any more.
What's the problem?

>>83615172

I can grow one but ill look like sam hyde

>>83615883
>I want to suck dick
>I'm not gay though haha
You right now.

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Because london

ITT: jealous beardlets

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>>83615608

>>83615172

I work in food and company policy forbids it.

>>83615891
Not blaming you for getting rid of it but if that made you actually shave your beard you never really wanted one in the first place.

>>83615891
>>83615850
What's with people calling beards 'glorious'? Is this a thing?

I do have a beard, asshole

>>83615935

You can suck dick and not be gay

>>83615935
3/10. Tired meme retort.

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>>83615172
>HEY SWEDEN!

BEARDS ARE A REQUIREMENT TO ENTER ANTARCTICA

BEARDLETS HAVE TO GO BACK

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>>83615172
Because i don't look like this and don't need to hide my faggot chin

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>>83615949

>>83615747
>>83615824
I shaved everyday in the army, whether I needed/wanted to or not. Since then (have grown to enjoy shaving), been able to build a beard pretty easily

Can get a full-on jihadi beard in little over a month. Get searched every time I travel abroad since my passport photo looks as much.

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first time i ever grew it out and i hated it so i shaved it

>>83615978
>>83615982
Deluded.

>>83615963
I have no idea, but I have witnessed it personally. I guess it's just one of those words nu males and tumberlinas use to describe things they think are cool. Epic is another one I've heard used to describe a beard.

The short answer is people are insufferable. I don't mind a "cool beard" or "nice beard" compliment but when they unironically use the word glorious it's just cringe as fuck.

Because I have a chin

>>83615172
I do, it just isn't that long.

>>83616039

>he's never sucked dick

I honestly feel bad for you

>>83615172
Chink genes forbid it.

>>83616039
3/10.

>>83615172
My beard makes me look Amish when it fully grows for a few month. It's solid just my face makes me look Amish.

>>83615172

I'm in the army

>>83615963
Honestly have had more than one women ask to stroke my beard, no matter if I thought I looked like the Hunchback of Notre Dame

>>83615228
>>83615330
>>83615398
lmao, some fucking beta's

>>83615195

I've tried my entire life to grow a full but I just don't have the genes. Meanwhile my twink BF grows a massive beard he doesn't even want overnight.

Fuck everything.

>>83615212
This is incorrect. There are MEN that have beards and stashes.

>>83616058
>NOT HAVING A CHIN AND A BEARD

IN SUMMER 3 DAY STUBBLE IS THE GOAT

FULLBEARDS ARE STYLE IN WINTER

I have immensely productive facial hair follicles and I use a close shave.
Everyone can tell from my shadow that I can grow a strong masculine beard, but I keep the fuck away from associations with trendy nu-male shit.
Win win

>>83616138
When you ETS, live the dream.

Basically a modern rite of passage.

Because it doesn't grow in like that.

Too many guys make the mistake of growing out a patchy piece of shit. A man has got to know his limitations.

>>83616146
This would happen to me more often if I didn't look so unfriendly. I'm of German and Irish descent so I'm kind of a big guy with a big head, broad shoulders, thick, long, dark brown hair, and I look mean and/or creepy unless I'm visibly happy and smiling.

>>83616154
every numale has a beard to hide a weak chin these days

>>83616244
This. My brother can't grow a good beard. It comes in really patchy and looks like garbage but every time I tell him he needs to shave it people tell me to leave him alone like I'm bullying him somehow. People make me sick.

>>83616032
Yeah, It's just not full enough. Better off clean, you've got a good jawline anyway.

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>>83615195
This, frankly. So I just stick to my Gun Jesus look instead.

>>83615435
There can never be a better horror movie. And maybe this is some stereotypical ironic post, but The Thing is my top vote when it comes to horror. And I don't even thing it has any serious jumpscares.

>>83615172
I have a job

>>83615172
Because I have a real job.

>>83615172
I have one because I only shave on fridays and saturdays.

>>83616373
>>83616371
WTF hivemind. I have facial hair and my top paid developer and my supervisor all have facial hair. Enjoy being bitch for other threatened men.

I do have a beard, but I'm thinking about cutting it down to a stubble. I don't like how everyone has to comment on it like it's something special.
I mean I just didn't shave for a month because my machine broke and then thought "might as well see how good of a beard I can grow" but everyone makes such a big deal of it.

Also I don't like how you can't trust what people say, do I look better with it or not? Everyone so fake.

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>One side doesn't grow fully, just patchy.
>Other side is long and pointy.
>Bald spot under my chin.

Time to die.

AR 670-1

>>83616154
Nu-Males have proven that the ability to grow a full beard doesn't equate manliness

>>83615465
Hair is made from keratin which is just a string of proteins. No cells for the thing to imitate

>>83615172
Because I choose not to have one.

>>83616415
I can grow a full beard that makes me look like alqaeda most wanted. End of the day nobody gives a fuck. Beards have always been for ugly betas. If you have a handsome chad face you would always be beardless.

>>83616511
CLEAN SHAVEN IS FOR FUCCBOIS

STUBBLE AT LEAST OR ARE YOU A GIRL

>>83616561
grow up and accept you ugly.

>>83615172
I have a good jawline and chin unlike the majority of people who grow a beard these days.

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>>83615195
>tfw can only grow sleazy mexican one, and it's hardly noticeable

>>83615172
I do, though.
According to recial profiling software, it only makes me 99% white as opposed to 100%.

>>83616581
THATS NOT WHAT YOUR MOM SAID FAGGOT

>2017
>BEING A BABBYFACED FUCCBOI

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>>83616511
That's just not true at all.

It depends on a lot of things. But the biggest problem, again, is dudes, who don't have the genes, growing them out, convincing themselves it looks good, and continually leaving the house looking like an idiot.

>>83616246
Likewise anon, but honestly drink.

Honestly you are part-German/Irish, both cultures were historically heavily dependent on alcohol to facilitate potential relations/inter-marriage among contesting clans..

Tell me I'm wrong and how, I mean that. I want to know.

So if I have 25 and my beard isn't full yet is it possible that it never will?

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>>83616342
it's a classy look

>>83616914
>25
>can't grow a full beard
lel, fucking pathetic

>>83616914
Possibly. Plenty of late bloomers but more than likely you'll still be patchy.

Up your test and see if that works.

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Look at this. There's no excuse not to have a beard if this guy can pull it off.

>>83615172
I feel like it only looks good on white guys from the midwest

>>83615195
i can grow some jafar level chin beard but i cant grow the sides and i cant connect to my mustache. true suffering

>>83615172
I do, I have blonde hair/mustache and a red beard.

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>>83615172
I think large beards are uncomfortable and require too much effort to not look like shit.

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>mfw insecure fags shave out of fear of what others think of them
that's a pretty nu-maleish attitude to have phampais

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>>83616639
I fel your pain, this is literally how I will look if I let my mustache/beard grow for a whole year

>>83617175
How do I up my test?

>>83618078
eat nuts

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I'm 23 and there's already some gray on my beard. If I shave I look underage.

Growing one now, I also make sure to oil that shit too.

>>83618164
How many?

>>83618078
Lots of exercise
Lose weight
Stop eating chicken and using plastic containers
Stop fapping 2-3 times per day and change it for 2 times or less per week

>>83618224
a handfull, everyday

>full thick head of hair
>patchy facial hair
>friends can grow beards
>starting to bald

I'm alright with it 2bqh lads.

>>83616501
So things can't have hair?

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>>83615172
My jaw is strong since I don't have weak cuck genes. No need to hide my jawline behind a beard.

>>83618273
that's too ambiguous, is it like a pound a week?

i can't quite grow a full beard, it connects everywhere and i wouldn't call it patchy, it just doesnt grow in even and full so i can never grow it out that much

love having it tho, it makes my jaw look much more pronounced, i look like a trap when im clean shaven

no joke, last time i completely shaved someone called me mam in checkout

>>83615172
I have a nice jaw and I like looking clean

>>83615172
I do but it's not that great.

>>83616342
This guy seems cool, his videos are pretty neat. I would buy him a completely heterosexual beer.

All you faggots going on about 'muh jawline' seem really insecure and desperate to prove something.

>>83617209
>if this guy can pull it off
except he can't.
i like keanu but that's pathetic. He should be ashamed, but I'm sure he doesn't care, given the amount of dosh in his bank account.

>>83615614

Wee, come on nigga.

>>83618260
is there an easier way? can't i just have sex with fat chicks?

>>83618666
they can only grow pube beards and 14-year-old-tier staches, so they're forced to wax off every hair on their face and act like they do it by choice

Blond hair
Red beard
Blond Stashe
Black pubes.

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>>83615172
>can grow a full beard in 3 days after shaving clean
>still have a receding hairline

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>>83619415

Yeah, that's unfortunate.

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Oh anon, I do!

>>83618313
Things can clearly have hair it replicates people in the movie and has hair as them.

>>83615172
I do.

Protip: If you don't have a beard you are a cuck.

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No beard grow but big chops grow so I rock the Hyde look always have

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>>83619731
So if I don't have a beard that means I get off by watching my gf get fucked by a bull? Jokes on you I don't even have a gf beardfag.

>>83615195
Same.

I can grow extra long sideburns, a patchy goatee, and a parted moustache (dirtstache without the Hitler part).

It's easier just to shave. At least I have a decent jawline, which is nice.

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>>83615172
>tfw it doesnt fill in the middle

>>83615172
my beard could kick your beards ass, and by beards ass I mean your face

ass face

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Thin mustache, weak sideburns, some in the chin and a small patch below the inferior lip. If i let it grow, it would be something like pic related.

>>83619415
>>83619488

My hairline is holding up so far - but I have a bald spot at the back that keeps growing every day.

I have to shave my head or else I look 20 years older.

>>83615172
I had one but I've been a neet for 4 years and of course my first job interview went well except for the fact that they told me I'd have to shave it

So now I'll fix one part of my life but another one will go to shit

Never gonna make it lads

>>83619627
fuck off sam

>>83619898
I hope you shave that shit

>>83615172
Got rid of it due to "lolol it's june 1, better make it 90+ degrees every day"

Now is not the time for bonus insulation.

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Beard

>>83619925
Tell them it's for religious reasons.
That way they'll think you're a faggot liar and not hire you meaning you won't have to shave so the problem will have solved itself kind of.

No need to thank me.

>>83615195
How can you not grow a beard? Steps for growing a beard:

1. do literally nothing

And there you go. What the fuck , man?

>>83620046

He should just say he will shave it and then not do so. Even if he's eventually fired, he'll be getting paid in the meantime and if he isn't fired, he'll be on easy street because they set a precedence for not enforcing their own rules.

I'm waiting until I'm bald first, then the beard will be there to compensate.

>>83619963

From time to time. Actually, i want to let it grow, just to see what happens.

>>83620104
Around 8% of the male population does not produce enough testosterone to grow facial hair, another 30% has horrible genetics

>>83615172
I do have one. It was kind of weird, because for a few years I tried to grow one, but really couldn't because I couldn't really grow any hair on the area of my cheeks where it would connect to the goatee. So I kind of just had a close-cropped incomplete beard.

Then I quit my job I hated, took a few months off, and all of the sudden hair was growing in places it never had before. I could suddenly grow a beard at age 30. So, people should hold out hope.

Supposedly you can put Rogaine on your face, but that never worked for me and it was too itchy. There's also certain oils that are supposed to stimulate growth, you could try taking biotin, etc.

>>83620166
just look out for the "high school boy who hasn't been thaught how to shave" look

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>>83619222
Black Hair
Red/Brown Beard depending on the lighting
Blonde/Copper Stashe
Black pubes

>>83615172
>beards test HIGH for fecal coliforms

enjoy your poison face bro

>>83620179
That's just fucking bullshit

>>83620385
you must be part of the 8%

>>83620334
So does the hair covering your scalp.

>>83615172
beards are for effeminate neu-males who are trying to attract homosexuals by going "bear mode"

>>83619222
>>83620317
>tfw chestnut hair and dark brown beard with amber tipped mustache

>>83620557
Well, you gotta work with what you got, not everyone can pull the twink look as good as you

>>83620653
say that into my 2 inch diameter gauges and ironic tattoo, not online. See what happens.