THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP

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IS BIG GUY IN A CUP

>>83442364
IS FOLGERS IN YOUR CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPP...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8_lw3gxOV4

>>83442364
https://archiveofourown.org/works/301952?view_adult=true

Reminder that fanfic

>>83442364
Is incest in your cup

>>83442364
Why do I care more about a 30 second coffee ad than I do for most hollywood movies?

>>83442364
you idiots just dont get it

The point of the advertisement was that she was a mail order bride that had JUST come of age. She said "Sister?" at the beginning because that's what he used to call her when she was younger, before he had taken his journey to Africa.

But upon seeing him she was flush with lust and wanted to remind him of what she was to him and what she had become. The sex they had that night, the consummation, finally, of their long marriage was pure bliss. The emotion felt after so much time of waiting. It's something not even the hymns of god can describe.

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>ywn wake up and have a refreshing cup of coffee with your qt little sister while she strokes your cock lovingly

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>>83443892
"Teehee! anon is this where you keep your coffee creamer? Help your sister out with this" ;)

>>83444028
those condoms are very large.

is this the fabled bbc?

>>83442364
is covfefe in your cup

>>83444059
>i believe internet images are real and not shooped in the year of our lord two thousand and seventeen.

>>83444067
what wait? oh i get it! because of gronald grumpf! ahahahah! amazing post friend!! upboats and gold for me and my friends.

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>>83444171

It is a nearly flawless shoop though to be honest

>>83442364
Imagine slowly leaning in and passionately kissing your sister on the lips. Then moving your hand up under her oversized shirt

>>83444059
Noil its the
GREAT
WHITE
COCK

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>>83442504
>that ending
Fucking hell m8, I expected sexy incest antics, not fucking heart-wrecking tragedy.

>>83444059
They're for doubling up with your bros.

>>83442504
>Additional Tags: Character Death
That's pretty heavy going for fanfic based on a Coffee commercial.

>>83444450
Clearly you don't read many fanfics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhfcWTZeP1k

>tfw cockblocked by your dad

>>83443817
Because a nice cup of coffee in the morning is comfy as hell.

>>83444028
I got my cream for you right here sis.

the raunchiest dirty lil best part of waking up

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>>83444585
Very funny

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>>83444197
>being this mad

>>83442504
Wait they dont even fuck?
I was kekking pretty hard when the actual commercial part happened

>>83442364
some of your cum in the a cup.

>>83444878
this isn't /fit/ anon.

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>>83444067
LMFAO! Wow! This is perfect! Amazing post anon, i wish i was as talented as you, how did you cone up with such an amazing joke? :^)

>>83444926
>>83444197

Could you act any more buttblasted?

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>>83442364
Can some autist request a porn parody of this from some c4s site? We got tendie porn made.

>>83442504

>expect literotica tier porn fanfic, turns into a depressing story about death and life.

Jesus someone get this guy an uplifting song or something.

>>83444067


Haha!

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>>83444028
daily reminder: if you don't want lagertha to publicly castrate you with a dull knife, then you don't know SHIT about television or film

>>83442504
There's a Kylo/Rey Folgers Fanfic, I think I've finally seen everything.
>https://archiveofourown.org/works/5539313

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTte01kdG_k

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>>83442504
Jesus

>>83442364
Is nutting in your sister's butt.

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>>83442364

Is black dick in your guts!!!

Where's the 2017 version with the fly black bull cucking whitey out of coffee and his bitches?

>>83442443
bangin' your mom's daughter on table your god-fosakern father spreads for your neet ass.

My best friend, a private school prep lacrosse player who wears pink shorts in the summer, was thrown into a rural small town jail for DUI (his 2nd or 3rd. he had issues.)
The hillbilly inmates told him if you drink just the folger's crystals then you'll get a nice buzz. Just pick out the crystals till you have a cup full and drink it. So he did it. Big mistake.
The massive dose of caffeine sent him directly into an uncontrollable panic attack as the other jailbirds laughed at him and fucked with him until the megadose subsided hours later.
But after this little bit of hazing he gained their respect and they taught him everything you would ever want to know about NASCAR over the rest of his time in the clink.
Every time he hears "folgers" he has flashbacks like a vietnam vet.

it would be nice to have someone care about me that much, especially a relative.

>>83445002
They're jokes bro lighten up

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>>83442364
IS ACID IN YOUR CUP

>>83442364
IS ACID IN YOUR CUUUUUUUP

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>>83450220
Muh muhfuggin dik

>>83442364
Is this a 90's thread?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHozn0YXAeE

>>83450652
Looking back, everything except the Mmmbop bit is like crushed glass in the ear-canal. Just horrible singing voice.

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Brothers should treat their sisters to cups of coffee and gallons of semen.

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>>83445573
I came here to post this

>>83450220
>not posting the full article

>>83451283
I saved that image like four or five years ago. And I'm too much of a lazy bastard to find the article where the writer confuses the kid for a girl for some reason and tells "her" that "she" needs to tell the sister to cut it off.

>>83445252
god my fucking dick

is not pooping in your pants

I still remember this from an interview with conan with dax shepard and some kids promoting zathura or some shit

>>83444028
Are women really size queens or is that a myth?

>>83451283
>>83451350

i need this full article :- O

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>>83451350

>>83447408
/thread

>>83451999
Did I get it wrong ? I thought the writer was a boy with a twin sister.

>>83452100
The joke is that the advice article's author is calling the boy gay for not wanting to fuck his sister.

>>83444028
this shoop gets better every time i see it

>>83452100
its a shop

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>>83451999

>>83445122
>We got tendie porn made.

Sauce? I gotta see this, a /r9k/ porno sounds hilarious

>>83452290
That video ruined Xev for me.
I can't fap to her anymore.

>>83451999

Checked

>>83451752
It's true. You aren't a dicklet are you anon?

>>83452134
Brothers shouldn't do that kind of thing to their sister

>>83454463
faggot

>>83443892
>lovingly

I'd rather it be me blackmailing her since I found drugs in her room.

>>83444028
>Magnum XL

wtf

>>83442443
fpbp

>>83445122
Wait, Xev did a tendie porn? I don't remember this.

>>83454699
Yeah. Good luck ever trying to seriously jerk off to her after watching it though. Every video I see of hers now I can only think of the tendie video and I start laughing and lose my urge to cum to her.

>>83445252
based castratationposter

>>83444059
Scandinavians have on average a much bigger cock-size than americans and other anglo peoples like britbongs. They probably film most of Vikings in Scandinavia so she's just getting ready for a nights out in Oslo

>>83454841
[ citation needed ]

>>83454841
That's true, all that BBC means Sweden is close to African countries in therms of cock size

IS INCEST IN YOUR CUP

>>83442364
IS GOING BACK TO SLEEP

>>83455017
After filling your sister's tight cunt with your seed multiple times, ensuring impregnation.

>>83454517

I have a magnum dong.

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>that time my older sister was eating icecream very sensually

Very cruel to do something like that to your lil bro

>>83454961
http://www.averageheight.co/average-penis-size-by-country

in Denmark the average is almost 16 cm, in Sweden the average is around 14.80 cm, almost 15. In the US it's like 12-13 cm.
>>83454996
>That's true, all that BBC means Sweden is close to African countries in therms of cock size
There's alot more black people in the US. compared to Scandinavia, and yet your penises are fucking miniscule in comparison.

>>83454764
>>83452340
No one cares about your stupid opinions or your ed

>>83455271
Wow, it's only going to get bigger if you keep importing those bulls :^)

sis is so cute, does she have lewds?

>>83452290
>>83454699
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuxhEUxIhho

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>>83455487
God bless Xev.

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>>83450220
Imagine having that guy's life.

>>83444585

KINO

link xev tendies video k thanks

His eyes moved to the red ribbon she had planted on his right pectoral muscle. He saw something in her eyes when she touched him. A recognition of firmness. After all, he was toned to perfection from weeks of rebuilding a church in Rokoray, along the northern banks of the Great Scarcies River. He had met a woman there who reminded him of his sister. He cared for her, taught her a fledgling example of English, had even found himself feeling love for her. That was not a sisterly love however. Then again… was this?

He began to open his mouth. Any moment his parents would walk downstairs. The look on her face said they were on the same channel. Everything he had just thought, she heard it. He spoke.

“Listen, when mom and dad go out to say hi to the Gelsons next door tonight, let’s hang back, go upstairs and fuck the shit out of each other.”

“What?” She answered, bewildered.

“C’mon let's do it. Let’s fuck. Haven’t we always wanted this?” He reached out to reassure her, but she pulled away, fear in her eyes. “Whoa whoa. Uh no I’m just happy you’re home from Africa. What the hell are you talking about wanting to fuck me? Are you seriou--” And like a blade being hammered on the anvil, his father’s voice rang out from behind him: “WHAT IN SAM HILL IS GOING ON HERE?”

“I can explain…” he stammered, but was cut off by the visceral scream from his mother as she began sobbing into her bathrobe. His father erupted, white morning spittle shooting from the corners of his mouth.

“NO SON OF MINE IS GONNA DRINK FUCKING FOLGERS COFFEE!” He belted his son in the face, knocking the boy unconscious. “THIS IS A PEETS COFFEE HOUSE!”

Drink Peets Coffee.

>>83455656
Hopefully by now the sister has mind broke him into being her sex slave.

>>83450220
This lucky piece of shit

>>83445252
>History Channel

>>83442504
>absolutely loved this bit
So she nibbled on the edge of a sandwich, curled up on her bed and talked to her brother in her mind.

Did it hurt?

Of course. But it was quick.

Why weren't you more careful?

I was looking out at the scenery. Trying to decide if we should build a boat, go sailing.

I get seasick.

How would you know? You've never been on a boat.

I get carsick. I'm making the logical conclusion.

No, Libby, you'd love it. We'd go out at sunrise, watch the water get lighter and clearer. It would be so quiet, peaceful.

I'm sick of the quiet.

So talk.

I talk to you.

He didn't respond, and she fought down a spark of annoyance at her imaginary version of her brother. Getting off her bed, she walked to the window and stared out at the quad, seven stories below. Did it hurt? she asked again.

>>83451752
some are some aren't