How would you make a Mario Bros movie that doesn't suck?

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is already kino.

>>83432722
By not making one.

make it like hardcore henry but from Mario's perspective

slapstick

>>83432722
make it a trilogy ala Lord of the Rings were Mario and Luigi are Frodo and Sam and the rest of Fellowship are Toad, Princess, Geno, etc

>video game movie
kill yourself

I would make the one we already have exactly as it is.

make them gay for eachother

make it a dark and dramatic italian mobster movie

>>83432722
Make it completely straight cartoony fantasy. Two brothers who work on plumbing in the Mushroom Kingdom end up having to rescue the princess. Don't try to be more than it is.

Also make it a cartoon. Unless your game is partially reality-based cartoons are the only way to do it.

>>83434467
>he made me a mushroom i can't refuse

jfc did raimi have a hand on this?

>>83434596
>Two brothers who work on plumbing in the Mushroom Kingdom end up having to rescue the princess

JFC anon this is supposed to be a kids movie not an R18 one

I would never make this movie but if I did make this movie it would be sarcastic and insult the audience. Like Mario and Luigi would joke about how stupid it would be to make a movie based on a Nintendo game and how stupid anyone would be to go and pay money to watch it if you did.

>>83434721
WAHOOOOOOOOO

also I would lambast all the sonyniggers and xboner users at every quip

make it animated (2d so they can actually emote)
make it goofy and not take itself seriously at all

>>83432722
animated

>>83432722
Make drumpf the villain

>>83432722
You can't.
The best you could hope for would be a Speed Racer style green screen cartoon movie with live actors and over the top adventure scenes. The plot of the games are too simple to make a whole movie out of.

>>83432722
I would make it gory like for every mushroom or koopa that mario would stomp guts and eyeballs would pop. For every fireball he throws an emascerating pain would be shown for every tail swipe immense crushing pain to the goombas.

All the while while Mario says WAHOOOOOOO HERE WE GO!

>Mario is a brand new plumber in Brooklyn, got the job thanks to Luigi
>brief mentions about how his old career as a carpenter has been ruined by a gorilla
>while fixing some giant pipes in the sewers they find out one of them is a passage to another world
>they end up in the mushroom kingdom, where toads beg them for help rescuing the princess toadstool from king koopa.
>the rest of the movie is about their journey and the interesting monsters and power ups (all from the original SMB) they find along the way, with some scenes depicting bowser and peach as they hear about the brothers futile rescue attempt
>in the end bowser falls into lava and the princess is rescued, just as expected
>a prologue shows kamek performing a ritual and bringing bowser back from lava death
>the end
>...?

>>83434815
No way it would be 2d. Too expensive for a character that has been 3d since the nintendo 64.

>>83434858
>grabs fire flower
>YOU'RE FIRED

>>83435395
>No way it would be 2d. Too expensive for a character that has been 3d since the nintendo 64.

the question was "how would I make it"

Have it star Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson.

>>83432722


I don't

>last post best post