Pirates 5

All aboard, for the 'no shit!' train, next stop DISNEY LAND!

>>83430551
And yet it will be highest earning movie this year. Goes to show that normies have shit taste in films.

>>83430896
You mean Chinese

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1>2>5>3>4

>>83430551
nope

>>83430551
>plot about Jack's nemesis coming back from the dead and wanting revenge
>post-credits scene: Davy Jones comes back from the dead
Is that the only kind of story they know how to write?

>Will and the Dutchman are back
>Don't have them involved in the fight against literal ghosts

>Salazar's crew are all ghosts and people do the hand through their body gag when they first see them
>Ghosts are still able to grasp swords and shark corpses

???

>>83431085
they can turn the ghost stuff on and off, same way they can make their ship extend and their masthead turn alive

>begin movie with jack a drunk and out of touch washed up old man pirate
>never have a character arc about this
what the shit? i thought it was so obvious

>>83430551
Nah, not really. It wasn't as good as the first three, but it was alright, worth the price of my ticket. Salazar and everything connected to him was great. Jack would've been insufferable without the others to divide his screen time. Rush did a fucking great job.

>>83430551
Everything was exposition. Nothing happened. I walked out after I saw Barbossa

That lead girls tits in that corset weren't shit

>>83430896
yeah nah that'll probably be Star Wars budy

Am I the only person that likes the second movie more than the first?

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>go to the cinema with 2 friends
>they enjoyed it a lot
>i laughed my ass off in some scenes
>had a great time
>come to /tv/
>it's trash talking
Thank god I don't listen to you

>>83430551
I liked the opening bank robbery sequence and the guillotine sequence. I probably won't remember anything else

>>83431188
>walking out of cinema

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>>83433238
Second movie IS better than the first

>>83433560
He didn't. He stayed at the end, actually enjoyed it, but to be contrarian, comes to /tv/ to show his contrarianism, so that he can get praised

>>83433560
this kek

>>83433560
>>83433635
>>83433639
Nice sunk cost fallacy fags

>Eyepatch says Captain Salazar can't unpossess Henry
>He does anyway with no repercussions

>The ocean floor somehow counts as dry land and disintergrates the ghosts
>except for Salazar

>Jack even remembering Will and Elizabeth after 19 years

>Kiera Knightly doesn't get a single line (good thing)

>Barbosa didn't devote all of his time and effort into finding the Trident that could break any curse when he was cursed himself and could walk underwater

>Salazar somehow knows what the compass does, and immediately assumes that it's responsible for setting them free from his undefined imprisonment

>>83433735
Nice money wasting you millennial garbage

>>83433735
Nice strawman faglord. See I can spout useless terms from high school debate as well.

>>83431150
The only reason he was so drunk in the bank sequence was just to compensate for Johnny Depp actually being drunk on set

>>83433238
I don't know if I loved it more than the first, but 1 and 2 are the only Pirate movies I enjoyed.

Noticed 2 girls come in and leave about half way. Maybe this did suck? I can't say I hated it though.

It could have been my movie diaper was too tight.

>>83433809
I agree with this so much, I liked not loved the movie based on only performances, effects, tits in that order, Salazar was damn cool too.

HATED the writing, especially when Jack would do some decent British style banter and nobody would play along and this was somehow supposed to be funnier than if they did.

>>83430551
Did anyone else feel bad for Salazars crew when they turned human

>>83433464
Same. A friend of mine loves no brainer movies and the whole cinema experience so I was like yeah cool, went in with no expectations and came out pretty satisfied.

Though I did expect more from Depp as Sparrow, because he was one of the highlights of the first three and a lot of his shtick fell flat here, but I had some laughs and saw some cool pirate shit so all good

>>83430551
1 and 2 were decent flicks. Everything fell off the rails after that, so why would you even bother with 5?

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If you think about it for a moment, Salazar really didn't do anything wrong.

>>83430551
Has Disney made a good movie this decade?

>>83433833
>both a poorfag and still unable to tell what a sunk cost is
I'll spell it out for you:
You have already paid to see the film.
You are not going to get this money back
If you are not enjoying the film and would prefer to spend your time doing something else then there is no reason not to
>>83433853
Explain how this is a strawman friend.
If you can't then apologise.
Calling you a fag doesn't count, that's a term of endearment.

>>83433809
>>Eyepatch says Captain Salazar can't unpossess Henry
>>He does anyway with no repercussions
After acquiring the trident

>>The ocean floor somehow counts as dry land and disintergrates the ghosts
>>except for Salazar
After acquiring the trident or while possessing Henry

>>Jack even remembering Will and Elizabeth after 19 years
Couldn't believe how downplayed it was when Henry said it desu

>>Barbosa didn't devote all of his time and effort into finding the Trident that could break any curse when he was cursed himself and could walk underwater
He didn't believe in it. He literally thought the book was only useful for the gem on it.

>>Salazar somehow knows what the compass does, and immediately assumes that it's responsible for setting them free from his undefined imprisonment
Yeah that was so retarded, the flashback looked cool but any plot or character development from it was outright retarded.

>>83434041
The man had a tattoo of the map on his arm.
He also went out like a bitch, but that's unrelated

>>83430551
Pirates of the Caribbean: Milking the Cow

I only liked the Kaya's tits.

>>83430551
it was better than covenant

>>83430551
just turn your brain off stupid

I don't get what they're supposed to do in the next movie if all the magic stuff is gone. Davy Jones isn't going to be quite as cool/scary without his octopus beard.

>>83433972
In this movies I don't expect a complex plot with drama. I expect a good time, and that's what I got.

May the next one come.

I liked it. Not the best movie of the summer, but worth seeing.

>People ITT forgiving this boring, souless cash grab

I'm truly disappointed, /tv/

>>83430551
Which decade or decades of the 1600s or 1700s do the Pirates of the Caribbean movies take place? The costuming seems a bit all over the place, sometimes, with elements from almost anything between the late 1600s through about the 1770s.

Why did disney bring in rey from star wars 7? Such a strange decision, she didn't have any place in a pirate movie, it isn't fucking sci-fi

>>83434264
Magic isnt gone. Only curses.

>>83433238
Not, I like the second more than the first. Davy Jones was goat

>>83433993
He was only hunting anglo pirates.

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>>83430551
Pirates of the Carribean would be a great fucking franchise if they didn't cast Johnny Depp.

>>83430551

PoTC reads like someone's tabletop campaign.

The girl made my peepee stand up. Aside from that, it felt like a complete filler movie.

All 5 did was borrow concepts

>Villain comes back from death
>Crew and captain is cursed
>Ship has unique abilities
>Jack's crew is fed up and wants to leave
>Jack almost gets executed
>There's an item of mythical value that somehow every chatacter starts chasing
>Mystical voodoo woman with answers

On top of that it introduced two of the worst characters in the series, and even swapped out one of the best for arguably the very worst

It held SJW agenda
Pacing was really bad
Some of the CGI was distinctively bad
Very, very inconsistent villain
Overall underestablished/underintroduced villain
Jack Sparrow didn't have the same witty feeling
Barbossa's character was made completely different and sensitive because of introduction of new character
>This place is cursed because we say so

Atleast it had one of the best emotions in the series, and the visuals were on par with 3, which had the best ones in the series

>>83430968
More like 5=3

>>83433940
They literally did nothing wrong
They cleaned the filth of the sea with extreme prejudice which is the only way you can deal with pirates
I was cheering for them and hoped they'd get their ship back and sink the black pearl

>>83434086
I'm pretty sure he didn't see it as a map and got that tattoo of his way of reminding him of his daughter
That's why he was able to guess what her name was once she told him how she got her name and he remembered all that stuff

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I was disappointed that the ending credits did not involve Jack/the crew taking Cortés' gold and saying their next stop is Tortuga to end the series. But oh joy we might get another movie with the same characters and plot.

How much do we see of Scodelario in this? That's the only thing that might make me go watch it

>>83433978
1 was good, 2 was decent, 3 was retarded, 4 was a beaten dead horse.

How does 5 compare?

>>83437134

1 > 2 > 5 = 3 > 4

>>83437166
Basically save your time and money.

>>83437194
I'm not the guy you were responding to, but I'll say I had decent fun watching both 3 and 5
They're fun flicks, torrent it or something if you're just a bit interested

Saving time and money is 4-tier

>>83433940
The only thing Salazar did wrong was to abandon them after that.

>>83433238
the only person in the entire universe. thats exactly why theyre bringing davy jones back, because nobody liked the second movie. wait no.

>>83435572
You are objectively wrong.

So is Will still the captain of Flying Dutchman, and what the fuck is he up to during all this

>>83430551
Easy the best Hollywood movie in a decade or so.

>>83433993
He literally didn't

>>83430551
fuck you, faggot. This movie was fucking awesome.

Best movie I've seen all year. I am not being ironic, or joking.

Fucking ghost pirates, you queers

They should make a 6th movie!

>>83439202
Indeed. And they will. Someone has to save us from the usual capeshit and sci fi cancer.

>>83439019
ferrying souls to the afterlife. That''s what the ship is supposed to be doing

This one is more akin to the first two movies. I don't know what are people's problems with it.

So did we just skip over the Seven Years War?

>>83430551
>the series died midway through 3
>nobody but Orlando Bloom realized it

>>83430551
I just come of watching this and the real ranking is 1>2>5>3>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>4

A shame for Salazar and his crew they didn't deserve that.

>Barbossa dies

Fuck this.

>>83440027
A real war might be a cool backdrop for a new pirates movie, although it doesn't help that the French haven't been represented much at all in the series.

>>83433993
Dude only wanted to kill pirates.

DEM CARINA'S TITTAYS DOE

>>83440115
What's stopping Tia Dalma from bringing him back again?

Holy shit, what a shock.

>>83433861
I believe this

HOW THE FUCK IS DAVY JONES GOING TO COME BACK?

>>83440502
GOTTA GO BACK

BACK TO THE MAR

>>83440502
>in a series where every main character sans the new leads and Elizabeth did it

>>83440084
4 really sucks big time.

>>83440469
Tia Dalma is now the sea and also only brought him back because she needed him to be freed. But Jack's last words were that he has a rendezvous beyond the horizon or something, so maybe he wants to bring Barbossa back.

Salazar did nothing wrong. One of the movies I am actually rooting for him.

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>The first PoTC is 14 years old

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I remember you faggots whining about Jack being CGI in the trailers but it turns out that he wasn't.

>>83440502
Literally magic.