Why 'Baywatch' Drowned at the Box Office

L I T T Y
I
T
T
Y

guess it was a little too RAUNCHY for the critics

It's proven that critics are out of touch. The FANS know a romp raunchin' good time when they see it #pissjets

>>83373843
Name one good movie the rock has been in

>>83373894
I literally pissed my pants the entire movie. I had to get 50 refills on my soda to stay hydrated enough to keep peeing.

File: g.webm (890KB, 1088x720px) Image search: [Google]

890KB, 1088x720px

Baywatch is over.

Bury it.

We Wonder Woman now.

Consider this mercy.

>>83373930
Baywatch in theaters RIGHT now

>>83373843

Dwayne Johnson totally pissed the bed by picking this up.

>>83373843
>Why

No one wanted it

Look, the movie's doing fine. It made almost $20 million in the U.S. alone. I know the critics want to hate on it and knock us down, but this is for the fans and they're fucking loving it.

Thanks for showing your support guys, I know in many households this movie is going to become a Memorial Day staple.

>>83373976
>>83373991
t. jabronis

>>83374006
JUST WAIT FOR CHINA
ITLL SAVE IT

>>83373958
Gal Gadot is 178cm and with those heels she is probably like 6 foot 2. Hmmmgh

>>83373843
So what's the rock thinking about right now?

>>83374006
>in the U.S. alone

You said that as if anyone other than burgers give a fuck about this movie.

>>83374055
>JUST WAIT FOR CHINA

China doesn't allow R rated movies though unless they edit the shit out of it, also I think they only allow Disney, Dreamworks Animation and WB movies, so capeshit and animation, because they work close with the government

>>83373958
Gadot is cute as heck when she's not full skeltal mode.

>>83373958
cute

Looks like some jabronis need to check their candy asses into the smackdown hotel

>>83373957
I brought piss bottles to the theater so I could pour them on myself without having to waste even a second of #litty screentime on refills!

more like gaywatch

>>83373843
Honestly why did Baywatch fail though? It has brand recognition, the Rock, Efron and that big breasted chic as actor bait and a small budget. Did they fuck up the marketing or what? Seemed like one of those movies that make decent bank but are forgotten two weeks after release. What went wrong?

>>83375342
>>83373957
I was ankle deep in a piss-cum pastiche not halfway through the film. Saw a jabroni critic trying to walk out and he slipped facefirst into the muck #litty fistbumped my bros because I knew I was watching a rated R for REAL crowd pleaser

>>83375449
Because its a comedy but neither the Rock or Effron are funny, if they wanted the bro audience they needed to hire a good comedy sidekick.

>>83373843
That's a pity, the film was p. litty

>>83375449
>r rated movie
>male nudity
>no female nudity

hmmm

>>83373843
EVERYONE GO WATCH IT

MORE THEN ONCE IF POSIBOLE, WE NEED TO HELP OUR BROTHER OUT

>>83373930
The Rundown
Walking Tall
Doom
[spoilers]Baywatch[/spoilers]
Good flicks that critics just don't get ;D #litty

>>83373930
Black adam

File: movie_daddadadario.webm (2MB, 1920x1040px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1920x1040px

>>83373843
Another great movie choice for /yourwaifu/ Daddario

Not long until she becomes desperate and gets plastic surgery

had a stressful week, pls enlighten me on the piss meme, where did it come from?

>>83373843
>Why 'Baywatch' Drowned at the Box Office

it drowned because of the sheer amount of PISS coming out of every ORIFICE in the theaters bro, RAUNCHY SUMMER FUN my dude

>>83373930

Reno 911 movie was funny, and he played his scene well.

Moana?

>>83376094
Well Said brother, you really GOT that this was a film for the fans, not those Homosexual poindexters who review movies! Almost Shit myself when I saw the dicks flop out. So lit

>>83374127

Why did you switch from metric to standard?

>>83376029
Or does RAUNCHY scenes again.

>>83373843
BUT THE TEST AUDIENCES. IT SCORED WELL WITH THE TEST AUDIENCES; ROTTEN TOMATOES IS IN THE WRONG. THE TEST AUDIENCES, OP

>>83376051
>roll to the theater with the boys
>pay to see the fresh new r-rated raunchy summer fun flick
>sit in your seats and proceed to piss with all your might until the whole theater is ankle deep in pure piss ammonia
>have a wicked sick time

It's that simple, critics are ignorant brainlets

>>83376240
lit if true

>>83373843
as long as wonder woman fails in the box office and proves to everyone that women arent protagonists, we're fine. and you reddit shitters will crawl back to your holes and stop pretending you're "winning"

>>83376277
It's true, bro. All of it.

>>83373843
Guess this means no Black Adam or Shazam flick :)

>>83373843

The only reason it "drowned" is because of the amount of piss in each and every cinema it was shown in.

>>83373843
>the combined star power of dwayne johnson and zac efron

lol

>>83373930
Pain & Gain. How the fuck does anyone hate that movie?

>>83376412
>>83376394
>>83376392
>le reddit comments
you're conditioned to participate in an echochamber

its quite obvious when you post

>>83376412
Their collective 'star power' has been spread across so many shitty movies that they should start calling it lightbulb power.

>>83375768
I can't believe they fucked up this bad.

>>83373958
/tv/'s hate campaign backfired. I've never been more turned on by this Palestinian eradicator.

>>83376430
It's fucking terrible. What's the matter with you?

>>83373843
Drowned huh? I guess because the movie was so #litty and made people piss themselves with laughter! #baywatchberlin

>>83376509
Nobody but marvel shills hates WW

>>83376029
I want her to nibble on my foreskin

>>83376029
>Not long until she becomes desperate and gets plastic surgery

Id think she'd do porn first, hasnt she already been naked on camera?

>>83376574
You haven't even seen it, fatty. This is about Dwayne's new #litty+RAUNCHY movie, not your capeshit.

File: 453623542.png (359KB, 768x547px) Image search: [Google]

359KB, 768x547px

>>83373843

>>83376051
One of the Rock's tweets mentioned people pissing their pants from laughing so much at the raunchy comedy.

>>83373843

Numale cuck faggots couldn't spend mommy's $10 on a dude flick and saved it for a beat off fest courtesy of DC.

>>83373843
>lol look how clever we are with our puns, we might be blogger critics but please take us seriously!
so do they give any REAL reason why ot just more "clever" puns attempts?

>>83373843

Doesn't shit like this usually make money in the long run? They can't have spent much on it unless The Rock got greedy.

File: IMG_9309.png (489KB, 588x904px) Image search: [Google]

489KB, 588x904px

Rock apparently had a twitter meltdown last night.

More were posted on /fit/, wish I could've saved that thread.

>>83376726

Or.... They stopped making movies for white men so white men stopped going to the movies.

>>83376889
>Baywatch isn't for white men

"Men" by your definition.

>>83373930
Unironically FF7, probably because he wasn't in it for most of the movie

>>83373930
>pain and gain (enjoyable the first time, no rewatch value)
>the rundown (absolute kino)

>>83374140
>implying chinks don't enjoy everything that comes out of America.

>>83373843
lol this is the end of The Pebble's career

File: dwayne the rock johnson shouting.jpg (124KB, 634x639px) Image search: [Google]

124KB, 634x639px

>>83373958
>>83376509
>>83376574
GET OUT, CAPESHITTERS! THIS IS A BAYWATCH THREAD! ONLY #LITTY BAYWATCH FANS ARE ALLOWED IN THIS THREAD!

>>83376885
kek

>>83373958
Adorable.

>>83377117
Baywatch has no brand recognition in China. Maybe if they confuse Baywatch with Michael Bay you could get them to watch it.

They forgot they had to cast attractive actresses

>>83375768
Dadarrio went nude for true detective so I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have any hang ups doing it for an r-rated comedy with super attractive people. Why didn't she do it? It might have saved Rocky some dignity.

>>83373843
he needs to back to being the rock, none of this dwayne shit

>>83376209
More than likely a Canadian. Canadians under the age of 35 are all bi-system. They even still make kids learn both.

>>83373958
Kill yourself, no one cares about that anorexic Jew whore.

It's Batman Vs Superman all over again, quality kino brought down by ignorant critics.

>all these DISCONNECTED critics ITT
The fans loved Baywatch. Non-stop thrillride packed with laughs and raunchy fun. A perfect R-rated summer romp.

File: 1466883478406.png (2MB, 1440x960px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1440x960px

>Baywatch killed The Rock's aspirations to run for president

>>83376295

The opening weekend it's going to have alone is going to make sure it won't fail

>>83373843
It was a movie catered to men with hot chicks in it.

Not one hot chick went topless.

That is why the movie failed.

>>83380987
AND IT WAS R-RATED

>>83380987
exactly if this had female nudity in it I would have seen it.

Instead, I heard on here it had full frontal male nudity. What where they thinking on this one, I am very disappointed in Dwayne Johnson.

>>83373930
Southland Tales, duh.
It's a fucking masterpiece.

>>83373843
>Critics just AREN'T getting it
My crew and I have been THIRSTY for a RAUNCHY R-Rated summer comedy, and man did BAYWATCH (TM) quench our thirst. It was #LITTY all up in the theatre. At least four people PISSED themselves from laughing, one of them being me. I started to piss and then my BROS were laughing so hard at me peeing combined with BAYWATCH (TM) that they ended up #PISSING and #SHITTING themselves. As we left the theatre the staff knew what was up and gave us all PLAYFUL WINKS. We all high-fived and then beat up some confused critics in the parking lot, for not liking BAYWATCH's (TM) raunchy R-rated comedy!

>>83380987

can they even show boobs in movies anymore?

File: question-mark[2].jpg (183KB, 787x1000px) Image search: [Google]

183KB, 787x1000px

Why the fuck would Baywatch be R-rated
The TV was show was bland and inoffensive as hell unless you were super desperate or super uptight

>>83373843
I like how 4chan is the only one jumping on the rock defending the movie.

Dude is probably contractually oblicated to promote the film and obviously wouldn't bash the film. He did his best to detract the viewers from the shit reviews but overall people know this movie is trash and completely worthless to even own or even rent this movie.

>>83381337
i keep reading this things in the rock's voice, makes it even funnier

>>83381428
Because it has full frontal male nudity.

That is what they thought bros would like.

Baywatch was all about the babes and machismo. Instead they rewarded the few people that viewed the film was big screen dick and terrible comedy/acting.

>>83373930
The other guys

>>83375449
No fanservice for men even though that was easily 80%+ of the audience for the show.

File: Screen Shot 2017-05-30 at 21.30.05.png (234KB, 722x308px) Image search: [Google]

234KB, 722x308px

Oh boy, critics had their venom & knives ready. Fans LOVE the movie. Huge positive scores. Big disconnect w/ critics & people. YOU got to make your own path, not go by what someone ELSE says my brothas ! when i was let go from the football squad i had a dime in my pocket and a big dream in an even bigger heart, i like to think you dudes share that outlook. at least my borthas and sistas out there have the HEART to show their love unlike the a**hole critics who literally pissed their khaki pants then give me a bad rating, 19% ?? camaaaan. I'm veryyyy happy you guys are showing MAJOR love for #Baywatch' thanks buds, keep rockin.

>>83373843
Drowned in PISS

File: Baywatch Nights 1x17 - predator.webm (849KB, 512x368px) Image search: [Google]

849KB, 512x368px

>>83373843
Nothing will ever top Baywatch Nights

>>83373930
Pisswatch

Out of touch CRITIC'S just can't accept what the FANS really want is just a FUN and RAUNCHY summer blockbuster. Dozens more reports of piss soaked theaters coming in every day #getlitty

>>83379234
>Canadians under the age of 35 are all bi
What did he mean by this?

>>83374133
>fuck I look like an idiot
>I'll just say it's because I loved working with the other actors and director so much
>I'll say I'm doing my duty by promoting the film

I doubt he will admit his autism over this even to himself. Faggot is thin skinned.

File: 1495772309946.jpg (108KB, 990x657px) Image search: [Google]

108KB, 990x657px

can someone explain the whole "piss" thing associated with BayWatch please?

sorry i'm am new

>>83373930
Dey all #litty af bro

File: bruh...jpg (68KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 640x640px

>>83374006
It has to make like $150 million just to break even.

So no Baywatch Nights sequel?

>>83383718
Money is nothing
Fans are everything
And Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is delivering for the fans in spades, of piss that is! Reports of happy theatergoers wetting their pants in laughter at Baywatch's premiere are no longer just rumors but the reality that Johnson promised! When reached out for comment Johnson only told us to "stay wet, and stay litty"

File: haha piss haha .jpg (41KB, 634x337px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 634x337px

>>83383595

/tv/ saw this tweet and ran with it. That's it.

Why was this movie released during Pirates and Wonder Woman?

Why not wait for a July release ?

>>83383922

Why not put some bare tits in it instead of budget 21 jump street shenanigans.

>>83373930
welcome 2 the jungle

File: noods.jpg (28KB, 320x394px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 320x394px

>>83383840
uhh why didn't anyone tell me that the rock was such a retarded faggot?

>>83383922
>July 4th release
>remove dick for pg13 rating
>OR
>BIG BOUNCING NAKED TITS
I just saved baywatch

>>83383979
What part of that tweet makes you think that other than knee-jerking against him plugging his movie?

>>83383979
You sound like a hater, or a critic. You know those aren't kosher around the ROCK son. You signed up for a raunchy, wild ride and we're giving you all the PISS your bladder can carry

File: rock.png (218KB, 382x374px) Image search: [Google]

218KB, 382x374px

>go to the Theater alone
>get one (1) ticket to The Rock's Baywatch™
>"sorry sir, I think you're gonna need a box of these"

this happen to anyone else?

>>83384120
Based Robert always looking out for the fans

I really don't get where all this shit with The Rock came from. Everyone talks about him like he's the biggest thing in movies, but he's never made a good film. Nothing he's done has succeeded, or garnered the amount of hype he gets.

He's not a bad actor, but holy shit, I don't get the meme behind him.

>>83384152
Mad haters can't stop the Rock, you know better than to post something with such negative energy

>>83384152
>not sending your first morning piss vibes hit the seat and getting litty
shiggidy shiggidy doo

>>83384152
He was actually the highest paid actor of 2016. Quality be damned, he found a way to make money.

>>83376574
Don't lecture me Obi-Wan, I see through the lies of the DCfags. I do not fear the Mouse as you do. I have brought quips, memes, social justice, and job security to my new capeshit.

>>83376885
Looks like that CRITIC will be feeling PISSED at Dwayne Johnson's LITTY reply, much like my TROUSERS when I rolled 50 deep with the CREW to see some SUMMER FUN

>>83384152
>>83385025
fast and furious + marketing himself constantly, hes a walking brand
cant really deny he doesnt have what it takes as an actor, paychecks aside hes on his way out

>>83375449
You vastly overestimate the popularity of Baywatch. Yeah, it was popular when it was on TV, but that was a time when there was no internet porn so you got off to girls bouncing on the beach. So you try to market it to Gen Xers but they can't take their kids to an R-rated movie, so who is left? Millenials who just LOVE Dwayne THE ROCK Johnson? Apparently there wasn't as many out there as they thought.

>>83385216
This desu

Baywatch™ (2017) was made with ONE demographic in mind, and that is the FANS.
This is the lil' R-rated RAUNCHY SUMMER SMASH that could, and I should know! I PEED in my D*mn PANTS after catching this SPLASHY flick!
Anyways, I don't care what these OUT of TOUCH CRITICS are saying, because I can't hear them over the LAUGHTER of the FANS.

P.S.
I KNOW this will be a box-office COM-BOMB (If you know what I am saying!), and will DOMINATE the EU theaters.

much love bros, stay litty!

Who /RAUNCHY/ here? Me and the boys rolled up the the KINOPLEX last night, just as the EMBERS of the last audience were dying down in the CREMATORIA, needless to say we had a good LAUGH in the PENIS INSPECTION line when my bro Skyler got DRAGGED OFF by the guards to serve a fifty year sentence in the POPCORN MINES, for wearing a non-regulation FALCONER'S GLOVE. My man ROBERT served us up some tasty and very litty CRAB LEGS with extra 'BUTTER'.

Once we were INSIDE the film hadn't even STARTED before the first drips of PISS came out. An y'all just KNOW that nothing sets off the bloodlust of a TERROR-GHEIST like warm, 'buttery' PISS. Half the SQUAD was DRAGGED into the OUTER-DARKNESS before our BLADDERS were half-empty. When the GUARDS came to finish off the SURVIVORS I was able to ESCAPE by using the CORPSE of my bro as a CANOE when the lake of PISS was drained down the sluice normally used for flushing blood and FLESH.

10/10 SUMMER FUN, would SEE again!

File: me and the boys.jpg (185KB, 1600x1295px) Image search: [Google]

185KB, 1600x1295px

>>83385518
Pic related, me and my surviving BOYS dry off our piss soaked JEAN SHORTS before rolling out for a cheeky NANDOS

File: 1477028346109.png (30KB, 657x651px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 657x651px

>>83385441
>>83385518
>>83385777
raunchy as hell my dude

>>83385518
fucking kek

>when you get too #litty and accidentally start peeing on one of your bros
>he likes it

Talk about RAUNCHY

>>83385518
PEEING myself reading this RAUNCHY post. #staylitty bro.

>>83381142
>R-RATED
>full frontal male
Well, that's disappointing
I was expecting to see new Mammario webms other than her TD scene

>>83373958
Has she severed her ties with Israel? Cause I can't go watch her movie in good conscience if she hasn't.

>shitty boss makes me work memorial day weekend
>all weekend long my boys are blowing up my twitter about how chill and litty this movie is
>get day off today, decide to go watch it
>heard horror stories of people pissing themselves, decide not to drink anything all day before the movie
>get to theater, head is pounding but I make it to my seat
>lights go down, room feels like it's spinning
>black out as the previews start
>posting now from the hospital with a saline drip

what the fuck am I supposed to tell my boys, /tv/?

>>83373930
Moana
The Rundown
Fast Five
Pain and Gain

>>83386158
Tell them to get you a bowl of piss and a side of RAUNCH

>>83373958
She is cute as FUCK

>>83373930
I unironically enjoyed Walking Tall

>>83386096
>>83383979
>>83383950
>>83383559
>>83381579
>>83381493
>>83381142
>>83380987
>>83380417
>>83378102
>>83376526
What the f*ck did you just fucking say about me, you little critic? I'll have you know that the FANS are LOVING Baywatch (tm), and there've been reports of numerous people pissing in theatres, and I have over 300 POSITIVE reviews. I am trained in acting and can bench more than the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me than just another critic. I will make you LAUGH the f*ck out with you pissing yourself the likes of which has never been seen before in theatres, mark my f*cking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, BRO. As we speak I am contacting Kevin Hart in central intelligence and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for some SUMMER FUN, dude. RAUNCHY R-RATED COMEDY that expels the contents from the pathetic little thing you call your bladder. You're f*cking boring, man. I can be on any television set, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my WWE Wrestling technique. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to all my FANS on Twitter and I will use it to its full extend to shame you into watching Baywatch (tm), you little weakling. If only you could have known what uncool vibes your "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you could have held your f*cking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now YOU'RE WELCOME, you goddamn critic. I will get my FANS to piss laughter all over you and you will drown in it. You're f*cking gone, BRO

File: 1325209424141.jpg (55KB, 410x380px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 410x380px

>>83385518

>>83383718
Whoa who taught you economics bro?? *laughing with tears emoji* *black thumbs up*

>>83384152
Sounds like you don't like FUN, and don't know how to get #litty

>>83373930
The Scorpion King

>>83373930
Moana was a good movie

>>83376885
>wish I could've saved that thread
Do you not know about archives?

>>83373843
>Not even Dwayne Johnson could buoy Baywatch from sinking like a rock in its big-screen debut.*

ONE JOB

This is the proof that despite him leaving WWE, he's still a mark for himself.

>>83373930
The Other Guys scene where he and samuel L. jackson jump off the roof.

>>83373958
>Greeks hate jews
>jews get a jew to play a greek

well played Chaim, well played