JUST

>>83358911
What the f*ck did you just fucking say about me, you little critic? I'll have you know that the FANS are LOVING Baywatch (tm), and there've been reports of numerous people pissing in theatres, and I have over 300 POSITIVE reviews. I am trained in acting and can bench more than the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me than just another critic. I will make you LAUGH the f*ck out with you pissing yourself the likes of which has never been seen before in theatres, mark my f*cking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, BRO. As we speak I am contacting Kevin Hart in central intelligence and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for some SUMMER FUN, dude. RAUNCHY R-RATED COMEDY that expels the contents from the pathetic little thing you call your bladder. You're f*cking boring, man. I can be on any television set, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my WWE Wrestling technique. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to all my FANS on Twitter and I will use it to its full extend to shame you into watching Baywatch (tm), you little weakling. If only you could have known what uncool vibes your "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you could have held your f*cking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now YOU'RE WELCOME, you goddamn critic. I will get my FANS to piss laughter all over you and you will drown in it. You're f*cking gone, BRO :,'D

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>>83358911
watching hollywood fail miserably at everything it does brings a smile to my face. we are quickly approaching the point where California will be unable to export its culture to the rest of the country. the era of coastal cultural hegemony is coming to an end.

>>83358911
Just wait until it hits Europe that's the true audience for this raunchy comedy laugh riot.

how long until rock blames the jews and has ded career

>>83358911
Oh god, please tell me this wasn't a Sony movie. They can't take any more of this.

Look at Rock's production company. His shit is all going to flop, including the upcoming Jumani

http://sevenbucks.com/projects/

It will probably do ok overseas, iirc Baywatch was always bigger in Europe anyway. Still a pretty big failure though.

>It's a /tv/ makes fun of a guy who will always have an infinitely better life than them no matter how much of an ass he makes of himself on twitter episode

>>83359033
Paramount, who like Sony are going out of business.

Hopefully WB buys them both.

>>83359104
Doesn't that make it ok to mock him, though? We're hardly kicking him while he's down, he's still rich and popular. Same goes for Daddario and to a lesser extent the High School Musical guy.

>>83359105
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/studio/chart/?view2=upcoming&view=company&studio=paramount.htm

>Paramount
>Transformers

They're definitely not going away

>>83359104
Hi Dwayne

>>83359104
He's chasing the producer dream and it's about to crash. If Jumanji also flops then his producing days are over

>>83358911
OP confirmed for never taking economics xD

>>83359158
>If Jumanji also flops then his producing days are over

Yours never started, and never will.

>>83359304
>t. The Rock

>>83359304
Go to bed Dwayne

CAN YOU SMELL

WHAT THE ROCK

IS PISSING

>>83359332
>>83359336

I'm not The Rock, just a fan who knows jealous chumps when he sees them. As if The Rock would even visit this shitty website, I'm way too busy for that.

>>83359105
Lad, WB isn't doing any better.

>>83359104
>It's a /tv/ makes fun of a guy who will always have an infinitely better life
What does that have to do with the movie being shit? You have some serious mental issues, boi.

>>83358911
sweet! the theater will be empty when I see it and I am free to jack off to daddario

>>83359158
Why would he decide to produce not one but TWO remakes? I mean, I know wrestlers are supposed to be dumb, but come on.

>>83359469

Tell me more about your psychology degree, buddy. Link me your professional reviews. The real fans are loving it and that's all that matters.

>>83359475
She wears a onepiece bathing suit and there's no bare titties in the film. Enjoy the swinging dicks tho

>>83359445
Are you retarded? Paramount and Sony are fucking failing while WB is second only to Disney.

HALF of last summer's highest grossing movies were WB.

>>83359518
That doesn't mean anything, you're just fishing for replies.

>>83359558
>no bare titties in the film

D R O P P E D
R
O
P
P
E
D

>>83359558
Who's dick is swinging tho?

The Rock or Zac Efron's?

>>83359588
So did they just add some dick to make it R rated instantly? What the fuck.

>>83359558
>no bare titties in the film.
why even bother?

>>83359569

Deflecting to "mental issues" when you get called on your obvious jealousy doesn't mean anything either. The movie obviously isn't shit because the fans love it, The Rock is objectively superior to you in every way that matters except maybe the level of his War of Worldcraft character and you are salty that you will never be on his level, so you make fun on him on your Chinese Looney Tunes website.

Face it champ, you haven't got a leg to stand on.

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>>83359558
Yeah what a surprise this flopped and the Rock definetly isn't a homo.

>>83358911
Yuro here. Please my american friends, do tell me how the fuck can Baywatch movie cost more than 10 million dollars?

>>83359684
Says the retard who faces criticism with insults. That's the last (You) today, garbage boy.

>>83359725
>That's the last (You) today, garbage boy.

Thanks for letting me know I beat you into submission ahead of time, you spineless nerd. Saves me the trouble of refreshing.

>>83358911
Baywatch was only good at the turn of the 80s/90s, because there was few shows you could tune in to on network tv,that just had bouncing tits and cleavage every time you watched. It was good for a wank when I was like 10. And the fact that you *knew* there would always be titties and cleavage (never bare) meant it was a solid choice for cranking one out.

Now there's a billion shows like that of all flavors, there's much more easily accessable porn. And I think even a Baywatch movie in the late 80s/90s would have flopped. If people are gonna go to a movie with tits, they'll go for a movie that has plenty of bare titties and a plot too.

Times change and people get de-sensitized. It takes a lot more than tits in a one-piece to get most guy's excited these days (and come now, they're still in one pieces? this is 2010s and EVERYONE who's not morbidly obese or covered with stretch marks wheres a bikini).

>>83359717
Well, the big name actor's and director's salaries are liable to be at least 50mil+ alone. And that's not considering the cost of production and special effects and everyone else on set's wage.

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>>83358911
You might say he hit rock bottom

>>83359072
He has a ton of cringeworthy inspirational shows

>>83359072
Jumanji has Kevin Hart, it'll do good. It won't set any records or anything, but he'll make a profit

>>83358911
>saying 20 million LESS as if that's far from the expected amount
Fucking kek, it's not a flop at all. Dumbshits.

>>83358911
Did the rock finance the movie himself?

>>83360004
Kevin Hart will make a profit, as will the director and every actor in it. They're paid up front, it's not like they get a portion of the sales (well, not in any standard agreement, but sometimes if they're a huge name actor that's high demand they can negotiate for residuals).

Austin was always better.

>>83360040
No I mean Kevin Hart has appeal that will attract the black audience and the college crowd, so it'll do about as well as Central Intelligence and Ride Along did

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g-g-go watch it bros

>>83360017
>60 million budget
>huge marketing campaign
>28 million over 4 day weekend
Only the foreign market can save them now

J U S T
U
S
T

>>83358911
isnt it the studios job to make the movie good? he was just a paid actor. he had nothing to do with the writing, casting, directing....literally all he had to do was go on a few talk shows and say 'go see my movie'

not le rocks fault that the movie flopped

>>83359104
Hugely successful people like Robin Williams and Chris Cornell still kill themselves though

>>83359104
Literally not an argument.

>>83360481
>Chris Cornell

Who?

>>83360481
Some people are always miserable and you cannot save types like that.

You know the type because they'll frequently have many of the great rewards life has to offer and still be talking about how shitty everything is. They'll have a big home, a top shelf woman (or women), a great job, and so much money they never have to worry about paying for what they want; and they'll still be a sad sack.

You can call that chemical depression, but I call it being a fucking ingrate.

It's fully understandable if you're miserable when you're barely financially making it, you have no woman and no interested takers, and nothing is going right. Being down about that is a situational depression, which everyone gets.

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>>83358911
COMIN' THROUGH!
JUST HAD THE SPLASHIEST SUMMER ROMP!
FEELIN' LITTY!

>>83359438
Kek

>>83359438
ok dwayne

JUST ROCK MY SHIT UP

>>83359684
>The fans love it

What fans?

>have a huge one piece swimsuit fetish (probably because I watched Baywatch as a kid)
>move has the worst possible swimsuit designs
>Alexandra doesn't even get he DaDario's out

Was this movie made entirely by fags?

>>83359438
Lel, nice.

>>83361336
Well, didn't Dwayne executive produce it?

No one gave a shit about Baywatch when it came out. Why do they think people give a shit now?

Don't say it wasn't just a fapfest your dad watched to get over his shit marriage and the disappointment that is you.

>>83359009
I'm peeing already.

>>83359104
Hi, Rock.

>>83358911
Who the fuck asked for more Baywatch? Especially one with no hot women who get their tits out and with only male sexism.

>>83359558
>one piece bathing suits
>dick shots
>no bare titties
fucking why?

>>83361336
Dwayne Johnson ... executive producer
Eli Roth ... co-producer

>>83359105
Sony is quite profitable, even if they produce dreadful films. Stuff like Resident Evil:
The Final Chapter made them tons of money.

Paramount however is really struggling. Baywatch is only the latest film that bombed.

>>83359568
WB also spends a ton of money, so they must make huge returns.

The funny thing is Disney, even if there movies are bringing in Billions, ESPN is dragging the company down as they somehow allowed them to sign 25 billion worth of payments.

>Get the best tits in Hollywood
>Don't show them

I'm glad this shit is tanking

>>83359104
That's the kinda people you should make fun of. Ever heard about punching up, not down?

>>83359104
>better life

I'm free, I can walk wherever I want, and go wherever I want.

Checkmate, Dwayne

>>83358911
Your pants are obviously dry. Real fans LOVE this R-rated raunchy pissfest.

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>>83358922
Well done anon

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>>83358911

>>83359087
only big in germany because of the Hoff. They love haselhoff for some odd reason

>>83363216
Because of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zXiClnK8oE

>>83363246
they mustve loved him before that too, why else would they get him for that event?
why DID they get hasselhoff for the fall of the berlin wall? he's not even a proper singer

>movie's performance reflects on the lead actor exclusively for some reason

>>83363274
He was doing a promotional tour for his "music", Looking For Freedom came out at the exact right time when the Iron Curtain was collapsing

The Trump curse strikes again.

>>83363250

man butt lmao

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>>83363404
Is the Trump curse like the Mayweather curse?

>>83358922

>no can you smell what the rock is cookin

written by a child

>>83359087
No Hoff, no sale.

>>83363818

He has a cameo

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>>83359104

Sup Rock

>>83359931

Dwayne is clearly a top tho

>>83360481
>Hugely successful people like Robin Williams
>spend the last part of his life starring in straight-to-dvd movies and paying alimony to 3 ex-wives before being diagnosed with alzheimers

I had thought The Rock was one of the few actors left that can cause a movie to do good just cause hes in it, like Tom Cruise. Though that Mummy movie I have a feeling might be a rare bomb for Cruise.

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>>83363274
>they mustve loved him before that too, why else would they get him for that event?

He was the only one who had the powers to bring down the sovjet republic and the berlin wall

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>>83364110

>>83359072
>http://sevenbucks.com/projects/

He's making a movie based on the fucking rampage arcade game, he has truely lost

>>83364159
>I had thought The Rock was one of the few actors left that can cause a movie to do good just cause hes in it, like Tom Cruise.

he also thought thAT lol

I think leonardo dicapprio also on that list

>tfw alt-right trolls are to blame

>>83364159
Im pretty sure the 2nd Jack Reacher and Edge of Tomorrow didnt do too good even with Cruise, though i don't think they'd be considered "bombs". I also have a feeling that Mummy movie will flop, something just makes it seem really bland and generic from the trailers.

How will this failure affect Rock when he runs for president?

>>83359104
Jesus christ Dwayne, fuck off

>>83358976
You're JUST another critic bro. This RAUNCHY, R-RATED COMEDY is just for the fans. A little gift to them for their loyalty. So gtfo criticuck ;) mahalo

>>83363317
You also were the executive producer Dwayne

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>>83358976
Shut up hater! I watched it three times and loved it each time!!!

>>83364717
the intention for all movies released nationally & internationally is to get the biggest audience possible. So you're full of shit johnson, why would anyone make a movie for 5 people to enjoy? even then you're slapping them in the face making it rated r and no tits

Im literally pissing now

>>83363871
Not good enough.

>>83363246
Hasselhoff is always the best part of whatever he's in.

https://youtu.be/ZTidn2dBYbY

>Kung Fury: 27 million views
>The song Hoff did for Kung Fury of quality inversely proportional to the film: 28 million views

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>>83358911
>american """"comedies""""

>>83364940

According to your original post it is.

>>83364343

Probably because like Baywatch it's a movie that nobody really wants, it's not like audiences are desperate for another mummy movie, no idea what they were thinking

>>83359558
>rating says graphic nudity
>tempted to see it just to see bare tits
>no bare tits

Let it burn

>>83359438
>I'm not the rock

T. Dwayne "the rock" Johnson

>>83359158
Its gonna flop, no doubt about it. Adventure movies like that always flop now.

>>83358911
That's funny, cause I heard the FANS are LOVING it and are pissing their pants all over the place. HMMMM

>than expected
that doesn't mean it didn't make more than enough to break even though

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>>83364297
>Inplying Rampage won't be kaijukino

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RAUNCHY PISS

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>take a cheesy 90s drama about lifeguards
>try to make it into a raunchy buddy cop comedy about life guards

I bet the CHIPS movie is going to flop too.

Pic related, how to make a comedy about lifeguards.

>>83366954
I dont even know what that film is but can already smell Australian piss on it just by looking at it.

Pls stop posting

>>83367021
Son of the Beach is an American sitcom, made by FX.

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>>83359072
>SAN ANDREAS 2

you mean the movie about the earthquake got a sequel?

>>83359438
Ok Dwayne, I can smell what you are cooking.

>>83359558
>no bare tiddies
>fucking dick shot
Into the trash.jpg

Teat

>>83358911
Why is everyone talking about piss?

>>83359072
I hope this fucking shit company reaches bankruptcy before they even attempt to film Big Trouble in Little China. For the sake of humanity.

>>83359072
Jesus it's all shit. He's like the opposite of Brad Pitt, only picks awful projects