Anybody have any good theater stories? >17 year old me >Managed

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Anybody have any good theater stories?


>17 year old me
>Managed to finally get a 'girlfriend'
>She wants to hang out over the weekend
>It's going to be the first time spending time together outside of class
>I'm nervous and autistic as fuck
>I go for the cliche 'lunch and a movie' route
>She wants to go to an Asian restaurant
>I know of a good buffet place
>we get there and eat, talk a bit, I try not to spill my noodles all over the place
>"Hey anon, there's this cool movie out Guardians of the Galexy 2, wanna see it?"
>It's a light movie with a little romance, could be good
>"Y-yeah sure lets go"
>Sit in the theater, no Falcons or crab legs or anything, I don't know what you guys are talking about
>we're in the very back
>movie starts, we get through the previews and the opening scene is a neato 70s throwback song
>about 30 minutes go by and she puts her hand on my hand
>I'm hard as fuck, holy hell a real girl is touching me oh wow
>I strategically let some time pass, I put my arm around her shoulder and start rubbing it slightly
>she moves closer to me and holds my other hand and puts it on her lap
>ohh... oh jeeze what's happening
>she carefully moves her head towards mine and gives me a little kiss on the cheek and starts moving my hand under her shirt
>"Is.. Is this ok?"
>"Mm, yeah but I'm going to need a little something from you first..."
>my cock is about to erupt with precum
>"Anything.."
>"I'm gonna need about $3.50"
>Well it was about that time I noticed that the girl I've been talking to for the past 4 months was actually an 8-story tall crustacean from the Paleozoic Era! That goddamn lochness monster had tricked me again!