>character is a chronic alcoholic >looks great

>character spends all night taking skag
>is able to move the next day

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>>83244785

>character becomes an alcoholic
>instantly grows stubble

>character has a character flaw

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>character drinks like a fish for an entire scene
>never has to take a piss

>character is a meth addict
>has healthy teeth

>character is a drunken author
>played by matt dillon

>character is a nu-male
>finds a hot 9/10 who falls in love with his personality.

>>83247313
But that's the only reason to be a numale, no one actually buys the ideology

>character never has to use captcha online

>>83244785
Most actors in the 40s and 50s were raging alcoholics and they looked great, maybe you just have shit genes

>>83244785

Breaking Bad with those meth heads looking perfectly normal.

>character types very fast on the keyboard
>letters appear slowly on the screen

>>83244785
>chronic alcoholic character quits drinking
>is fine within hours with no repercussions

>>83247395
They looked great because actors spend a tremendous amount of time and effort maintaining their physical appearance because that's how they make their living, you dumbfuck.

>>83247760
Keep telling yourself that, tubby

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>Good looking character walks into room hungover/sick
>"Chad! You look terrible!"
>character literally looks better than I have ever looked in my entire life, they just have slightly messy hair and look a little tired

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>>83244785

>character wakes up at 7 am
>steps out of bed, stretches
>grabs a cup of coffee
>is all set til lunch
>doesn't feel like vomiting
>doesn't lay in bed for an hour
>doesn't leave work early because he can barely stay awake

>>83248020
>character is hungover
>doesn't spend the first five hours of the day making himself puke to get over the feeling of having to puke

>>83248132
why would you?

>>83248191

why would you what?

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>character doesn't take acetylcysteine and vitamin C while drinking to prevent any hangover symptoms
Takes me straight out of the movie

>>83247760
not in the 40s

you think the guys who drank whisky and smoked cigarettes all day were doing gruelling exercise regimes?

>>83247659
>mouse cursor moves perfectly and non erratically

>>83248137
>not going to the bathroom every 40 minutes to puke the night before, getting black out drunk and eliminating hangover

>>83248302
Maybe he doesn't want to look like a huge fag.

>Character is a police detective
>Has an alcohol problem

>character drinks a bottle a day
>pours many tiny drinks instead of filling the glass

>>83248302
I just drink a lot of water or coke and never get hangover

>character is me
>it ain't me starts playing

>character goes to a bar
>"I'll have a beer please"

>>83248486
that's because you don't actually drink

>>83244785
>the main characters on supernatural live on the road in shitty motels eating garbage food and drinking constantly
>both are in incredible shape and look like male models.

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>character crashes the plane
>with no survivors

>>83248421
Enjoy feeling like shit for a whole day because you didn't want to take some pills in the bathroom, fag

>person abruptly ends press conference
>reporters go crazy

Does this actually happen?

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>character smokes a lot
>no one complains about their awful smell

>wakes up at morning with perfect hair and looking great

>>83248336
i go to the gym drunk/high, it's fun

>>83247344
women aren't actually attracted to nu-males, right guys?

>>83248596
nigga I usually have an at least half hour long gap in my memory when I drink. sure I feel like shit and smell alcohol the whole next day but a puke and a shower helps at lot, so I don't get why people think hangovers are the worse thing in the world. maybe they usually feel good and energized?

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>character is a nerd
>get a 10/10 actor and give them a bad haircut and glasses

>wakes up with a hangover
>shoots a jew from his porch

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>nerdy girl with glasses and ponytail is considered ugly
>takes off glasses and takes down her hair
>suddenly she's a 10/10

>>83248336
Maybe not the gym kind of way, but the spa/cucumber mask/sauna way.

>>83249431
>tfw find ponytails so much hotter than loose hair

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>>83244785
It's anon always forgets to hydrate and use moisturizer to make up for the alcohol intake episode

>>83249212
>half hour long gap in my memory when I drink

o00oo0000 big man

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>>83244785
> 5 female characters
> nobody talks about how there is a 60% chance of at least one of them menstruating

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>>83244785
>IMG_0013.jpg

H-how much do you drink /tv/?
10-12 tallboys daily

>characters are twins
>both alcoholics

>>83249917
What's a tallboy, 16oz?

>>83249839
4 u

>>83249841
>1 in 5
>60%
is 20% you retard

>9/11 joke
>too soon man

>>83244785
Hank Moody is the most attractive alcoholic ever on television.

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>character shits in the sink
>doesn't spray sticky blood all over the kitchen

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>>83249955
I dunno im europoor and never checked
the one on the left

>>83248601
Sam does workout and eat healthy in that show. Dean on the other hand should not look like a model.

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>character takes a piss
>his urine doesn't have red chunks in it

>character is dirt poor
>still has a big house with nice things

>>83249975
US education detected

>character drinks j&b whisky
>sometimes finlandia

>>83249431
A different haircut and style of glasses really can work wonders sometimes though.

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>Character asks for a coke
>Server doesn't ask 'is Pepsi ok'

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>character wakes up
>perfect hair
>character wears headphones
>perfect hair
>character gets into a fight
>perfect hair
>character removes helmet
>perfect hair
>character takes a woogie for the team
>perfect hair
>women expect men to have perfect hair at all times

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>>83250278
Nay

>character wakes up with a massive hangover
>is immediately chased by cops

>>83248726
Got me fucked up bro

>>83244785
>character decribed as sociophobe r9k/ incarnate
>have sex in first episode

>character wakes up
>his nose doesn't immediately becomes a blood vulcano
I think that character is breathing mold

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>character is autistic
>handsome and charismatic

>>83250304
>takes a woogie

???

>>83245052
Hmm

>>83252008

Name one movie. Drive doesn't count because he's not charismatic.

>alcoholic cop is involuntarily teamed up with a know-it-all rookie

>>83252336
Aviator

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>Character is young
>Guy behind the counter says they don't serve children
>Young character grabs the guy by the tie and says "I may be young, but I can still whoop your butt!"
>Young character walks out of store with a smile and a bag of stuff

>>83251976

How many drugs are you currently on?

>>83252336
The Accountant

>>83252393
He wasn't autistic.

>>83252460

Again, he's not charismatic.

>>83252393

Wrong. Hughes just had OCD, which isn't autism.

>>83251976
Wait, this happens to me.
The fuck is going on?

>>83252662

Vitamin K2 deficiency

>>83252455
>character's make up movie tropes that have never been done before to satisfy their fantasies

>>83248792
>Does this actually happen?
Yes.
For example,
every White House press birefing ends with the reporters going off like 3rd graders wanting to get the teachers attention. It doesn't even end abruptly, just normally after the scheduled time.

>>83253453
Found the fascist. Kill yourself.

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>>83249297
took me a second

>>83249917
Too much, especially when I don't have to got to work that day. And I had to whole week off...
But I stick to beer only so there's that

>>83249917
Fuck dude.. you hanging in there?

>>83253667
Im a happy functioning drunk..for now

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>>83249917
i can go through a 750ml bottle of whiskey in one night easily. throw in a few bears. try not to do that often though cause shit's expensive.
>tfw my mommy finally said "i'm concerned about your drinking" after she finds out the water in your water bottle isn't water

>>83244785
>Character has been on a desert island for 3 years
>has perfectly white bleached teeth, perfectly curled and styled hair, shaved arms/armpits/bikini area and clean, ironed clothes
Every fucking movie...

>>83254039

Watch out if you decide to quit. You could literally die if you quit cold Turkey, or worse, become brain dead.

>>83249211
once they hit the wall they are.

Chad already blew her ass out.

>>83246865
He was great in Factotum though.

>>83250304
>he has straw hair that loses it's form after a fight

>>83244785
>character blows nose
>doesn't open up the hanky to see what he's got

>>83254371

>Character is taking a shit
>Doesn't take the piece of shit out of the toilet and eat a piece of it
>Later, doesn't put the rest on his poop inspection table to inspect what types of microorganisms are inside of shit poop with his microscope

>character drinking with the boys
>Doesn't have to pee every 4 minutes

>>83249917
4 cans of heiniken light on Thursday Friday and Sunday. 8 on Saturday.

I think i drink too much but i live in ireland so everyone laughs at me when when i bring it up.

>>83250100
He regularly gets healed by castiel.im sure that does wonders for your skin/liver

>>83249917
i go through 1.75 of jim beam neat very nearly every day. Sometimes I'll have enough left over in the bottle to drink before I hit the liquor store at noon.

>character is a divorced dad
>shown waking up late and is late to pick up his kids from his ex-wife

>>83248364
Always hated this
I tried to mimic it right now but its impossible

>>83257390
how much are you spending per week? like $200? i'm close to $75 or so

>>83245052
>stubble

what's that?

>>83244785
>character is an alcoholic cop with mental issues
>is able to perform trained assasin-tier stunts and ahead planning

>>83250096
if yu 're european and call them tallboys then you must have watched The Stoned Age.

>>83254182
>You could literally die if you quit cold Turkey

Drinking 12 tins a day? No chance

>two characters are in a heated argument
>one character drops a bombshell
>music stops, other character becomes silent
>character walks away

>>83260000
Quads of truth, although this has happened to me in real life.