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Anonymous
Worst theater experiences 2017-05-26 05:15:17 Post No. 83217302
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Worst theater experiences 2017-05-26 05:15:17 Post No. 83217302
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What's your worst theater experience?
>Want to see the new Pirates flick
>Head over to the Kineaux-habitat
>Order a gold plated premium ticket for a mere $299,99
>Asks if I've brought my anvil
>As I show her, she asks me if I want premium upgrades for my anvil, for a measly $399,99.
>Go to the ticket master with my triple upgraded anvil and my ticket
>He tears the ticket and lets me through
>Arrive at the premium Anvil Depositories
>Closed for maintenance
>Go to the regular depositories
>Full of normies with worn and ugly anvils
>Most of them aren't even wearing cargo pants
>Then how do they bring their Falcon Chow?
>Ask staff if there's somewhere I can store my triple upgraded premium anvil
>He guides me past the popcorn mines, to the dungeons
>Tells me to put my anvil in one of the cells
>Then guides me back out
>Opens door for me, tells me to enjoy my screening
>I'm outside
>Door closes
>He wasn't staff
>Ticketmaster doesn't let me back in because my ticket is torn
>Didn't get to see Pirates
>Didn't get my anvil back
Today was a shit day
>>
>watching Simpsons movie in theatres
>obscenely obese guy in a stinky Bart shirt from the 90's in front of me
>every bad joke got a huge laugh from the theatre for no reason
>fat guy would throw his popcorn into the air every time and screech in his nasally rich evans laugh
>laughed for five whole fucking minutes during spiderpig
fuck that movie
>>
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>>83217450
>watching simpsons movie
>barts dick gets shown
>kid next to me starts masturbating
>>
>>83217302
>go on vacation to Mexico
>check out one of their theaters to see if their kinoplexes are similar in quality to those in the U.S.
>purchase my 10 peso premium ticket to El Guardians of Espace 2
>grab a platter of crab tacos and rent an owl
>get pulled over by the popcorn cartel
>they want money because I'm obviously a tourist
>they get pissed when I try to explain the concept of goodboy points in my broken spanish
>get tossed into a drum of butter oil
>allowed to make one phone call (they were hoping they could get a ransom out of me, but no one loves me enough to care)
>call Robert obviously
>got lucky because Robert's cousin Roberto runs this particular KinoMex and I walk out unscathed
Fucking beans, man
>>
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>this meme
>>
>>83217302
>>83217450
>>83217520
>>83218362
US TEEVEE MEMESTERS, HUH!!!!!!!! :)
CAN'T WAIT TO REPOST THIS ON LE REDDIT!!!!!!!!!! XD
>>
>>83218489
I want nu-/tv/ to leave
>>
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>>83218489
>>
>>83218489
Thanks for bumping, reddit
>>
>theatré has a new policy for the designated shooters
>shooters get bonuses for hitting white males
>was running late, could only get seats in the scuba tank
>luckily glass was thick enough to block the bullets
>couldn't even see the screen after all the shots were fired, missed out on Spiderman
Really bummed me out
Plus, the shooter winked at me on my way out, I might have to drive an extra half hour to the next kinotopia
>>
>>83218489
You alright, brah? We just playing around didn't meant nothin by it
>>
>>83217302
>get in late
>can't see shit
>everyone talking to get out of the picture
>find a seat, can't see, sit in some wet shit
>get up more people complain
>finally find a good seat
>the movie sucks
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