Favourite Curb moments

>>82845432
>I your son at the pool

Is this missing a word or two somewhere?

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DR DAVID I'M CIA

FUCK

HUGGGHHHHHHH

>>82845744
How many episodes did someone go through until they found a moment to screencap for this?

how would you really notice a kid's penis

>its a Larry says something socially awkward and the funny music begins episode

I don't understand the following of this show, it is so repetitive.

>>82845861
Kid was naked by the pool as his nanny was drying him with a towel.

Realistically though how big does a penis need to be for everyone to stop and gawk at it either awkwardly or for comic amusement?

>>82845860
I screencapped it on my first viewing of episode 5 of season 1 when I first went through the series. The outfit is too strikingly familiar to miss. Fucking memes.

HUUUUGE VAGINA

>>82845898
because you have no capability for empathy

>>82845908
>Kid was naked by the pool as his nanny was drying him with a towel.

but why

never seen this before

Fuck Huuuuugh

>>82845956
degenerate kikes, what else is new

>>82845946
Right anon, disliking Curb is pure psychopathy.

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>>82846015
This is exactly what I meant.

>"How's her pussy by the way?"
>"Much better. Thanks for asking."

The look on Jerry's face is great.

did any else fast forward some scenes cause they were way too cringe or ackward to watch

>>82846069
I got up and paced around for a lot of them.

I honestly think my most cringe moment was when Larry temporarily forgets his lines for the Producers.

That public an embarrassment would be so hard to handle.

>>82846057
I forgot about that episode. Cringe fuel to the max.

>>82845432
Post your real life curb moments

>In a hurry to leave work
>Going down escalator
>Hear my tram about to leave
>Woman infront of me standing on escalator instead of walking
>Speed up hoping she gets a move on
>She turns around and gives me a dirty ass look
>Starts hobbling down the escalator with a gimp leg
>Stop and throw my hands up to my face and stare in horror
>"IM SORRY I DIDN'T KNOOOW!

Let me ask you this question (licks I've cream), do you any concerns that ah one of the biological parents could be a psychotic?

Just saying, you don't want to have a schizophrenic on your hands you know?

All of a sudden you wake up in the middle of the night RAH RAHH

Season 9 WHEN?

I know they already filmed it last year, but when the fuck is it going to air?

>>82845898
Because you're autistic

>>82846462
probably next fall

>>82846312
>At a wake for the funeral of a friend who I barely knew and only knew through other friends
>Had spent about 5 minutes actual time with him one on one over the whole time I knew him
>Friend tells me they need stories about the dead guy and I'm good with stories, go tell a story
>Walk into kitchen and all the parents are sitting around the table, everyone stops talking to look at me
>Empty seat next to dead guy's mother
>Sit down next to her, all eyes on me
>Didn't realise I would be put on the spot like this
>have no stories about this guy
>Start to tell inappropriate story about the guy
>Stutter through it, stopping to try and censor bits on the fly or embelish others
>Story finishes
>There's no punchline, no nice moment and no reason to tell this story
>Dead guy's mother just gives me a small smile and confused look
>Everyone awkwardly starts talking about what they were talking about again
>Get up and walk back into living
>"Anon, where did you go? They need stories, get in there."
>Some friends were compiling stories on a computer some memorium thing and they wanted me in their to help write it

Ugh, cringe just thinking about it

>>82845432
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uHLFF0vhBI

The absolute funniest moment of the show. Tough to capture just how funny it is in this clip though

>>82846691
really? I thought the last season in nyx was pretty good, was that the season with the little gay kid knitting a swastica?

>>82846782
Yeah. I thought that season was great too.

I don't think there is a weak season desu. Weakest is probably season 1 where there was no overarching story but it still has tons of hilarious episodes and moments.

>>82846852
Honestly, I don't even know how I would rank each season, it's all high quality and there's never really been a significant drop. Pretty damn consistent show. I agree that 1 is probably the "weakest" though, but it's still a great season with great moments.

>>82846312
>mom makes me go to store for her
>collecting items she told me to get
>see 5 different brands of thing she wants
>text her to see which one she specifically had in mind
>get a text back, phone vibrates
>not even a full second passes
>"Um...*AHEM*...your phone is ringing"
>*she points at my phone which is in my hand*
>"Yeah...I know...I'm holding it..."
>*scoffs at me*

I still can't believe this happened

shes got a tickle in her anus

>>82847008
>It's an unfunny episode

>>82845861
when you come out of the water, the bathing suit clings to your penis for a couple of seconds.
enjoy never being able to swim ever again.

>>82847081
TICKLE IN MY ANUS? ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cwOa2Q2te0

>>82846542

thats not curb tier irony or whatever, that's just people being cringe as fuck

Hitler was a very bad man, he started a war. He didn't really care for Jews. He thought they were a bit much

>>82846069
I do this with every cringe show

>>82847412
The funniest moments in this episode is the questions Larry asks John McEnroe and when the limo driver gets drunk at the party and interrupts the speech.

>>82847412
Freak Book is genuinely one of the best episodes. Season 5 as a whole is brilliant.

>>82847412
OHH LOOK AT THE FREEAK

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>>82845432

>One of us has to jump! You have to jump!
>What are you fucking nuts?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6PuC6Tis1E

>>82845432
How could you say that to him Larry!?!

>...I took a risk.

The entirety of the Black Swan Country Club episode

>>82847567
>hey mac, i'm shitfaced!

When does the show get good so I can skip to there directly

>>82846574
I love Super-Dave

>>82852582
>(You)

>>82852771

I watched the first episode and some of the 2nd and it wasn't close to as funny as what people post

>>82852806
not him, but the very beginning of the show is a little slower.

almost any show, you need to at least give it more than 1.5 episodes before you really know.

>>82845898

BUM BUM BUM

Gravies maybe? Something in the gravy category?

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When Chris Farleys brother stomped a rat dog at a school play.

>>82853172
He was going absolutely nuts on that thing

that shit is retarded because kids have pretty much all the same size dick before puberty where it starts to grow

>>82846312
Most of mine have been with girlfriends
>Have you ever noticed how some of the people who celberate the most tacky parts of Christmas arent even Christian?
>What do you mean?
>They put up the most Santas, the most trees, the lights, give the most gifts and they dont even believe in Jesus
>So?
>I dont think non Christians should celebrate Christmas
>Why not?
>Because its Christ Mas. Christians go to church all year and the get to celebrate one great holiday towards the end and it gets hijacked by people who worship Santa. It would be like non-Jews spinning dreidels all day during hannukah while refusing to even consider going to temple.
>What should they do instead
>Celebrate their own holiday. There is always something like Festivus
>Christmas is my favorite holiday and Im not Christian
>Thats great!
The second
>Girlfriend orders says we should get expensive margaritas
>Agree reluctantly
>Later ask for queso too for her chips
>Alright lets not break the bank here
>What do you mean?
>Its just a regular date not a celebration
>I just want some queso
>Yeah but we already got these margaritas
>She gets mad and I relent
>Later on notice she didnt finish her food
>Ask for a to go box
>She thanks me for doing that
>Oh thats not for you
>What?
>Im taking the to go box home and Im eating it later
>She gets mad
>I argue I paid for the meal therefore the leftover food belongs to me and I get to choose what is done without especially if its my fridge
I was being very jewish in the second example

>>82852806
I mean its really a scene by scene basis because each scene is more of a sketch involving social misunderstanding than a huge plot line
I definitely think the third is episode is very funny

>>82845432
"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME MY MOTHER DIED? SHE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BOTHER ME?"

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>"You can't make an empty gesture to a Funkhouser."
Truth.

>>82846312
>At a family party
>There's a photographer going around taking photos
>I hate photos so I try and avoid him
>Everybody is told to sit down at their tables because dinner is coming soon
>I'm at a table with my cousin and his friends
>The photographer sneaks up and motions for a picture
>My cousin poses with his friends and asks me to be in the picture
>I barely talked to these friends of his, the last thing I want is a picture with them
>Figure I should just get it over and start to move into the shot
>Suddenly the photographer mentions that it's 10 bucks a head for photos and he'll print one for each of us
>I immediately backpedal and start walking out of the shot
>My cousin is gesturing and saying 'Come in, come in'
>'That's alright you guys go for it, I'm alright, you guys go for it'
>'Come on Anon, just come in'
>'Nah go ahead, go ahead, I'm alright, go ahead'

>>82846312
Not real life but I had this idea for a Curb episode I was very proud of. This was just after the season 9 announcement and prior to Trumps election.

>Larry is walking down the street and sees a street vendor selling Make America Great Again merchandise.
>Larry buys a MAGA cap.
>He doesn't know it's DT's slogan because he doesn't watch the news or follow politics. Just likes how it looks on him.
>Walking down the street he notices people giving him strange looks but he can't figure out why
>A young woman passing by gives Larry a real disgusted look
>Larry shouts after her "Hey! I saw that look! What was that look for? Hey!"
>A car driving by throws a soda cup at Larry, drenching him

>Larry, still wet, is knocking on Susie and Jeff's door
>Susie opens the door to Larry, still wet
>Susie immediately notices the MAGA cap
>"What the fuck are you wearing Larry"
>"I'm sorry to show up like this, someone threw a soda at me from their car! Ruined my shirt! Can you believe that?"
>"Not your shirt, asshole, the hat! Why the fuck are you wearing that hat?"
>"This hat? I just got it, what's the problem with it"
>"Oh you know what the problem is"
>"No I don't, it's a nice hat, I like it"
>"You think it's a nice hat?"
>"Yes, I like the way it covers my head. Surprise! Bald guys like to wear caps!"
>"I don't give a fuck about bald men, I don't like the message"
>"Make America Great Again? What could you possibly object to about that?"
>"You know Larry, I always knew you were close minded..."
>"Excuse me!"
>"... but I had no idea you were a RACIST, who hated IMMIGRANTS and don't think a WOMAN CAN HOLD OFFICE
>"When did I ever say that??"
>"You're wearing it on your fucking hat!!"
>"That's what you get from that? You think I want things to be like they were in the '50s? Are you insane?"
>"You know what, why don't you get the fuck out of here Larry"
>"Maybe I will. I don't have to stand hear and be called a racist! Goodbye!"

I've got more if you want to hear it.

>>82853484

holy shit nice blog

>>82855965
lol

>>82851562
>cutting off "mooom... larry told me to shut the fuck up"
why

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>>82855694
>Suddenly the photographer mentions that it's 10 bucks a head for photos and he'll print one for each of us
what the fuck

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>>82855965
I had a similarly shitty idea for a scenario like this, dug it up from the archives.

>Larry is at the golf course, some of the other members keep telling him he looks like Bernie
>Larry hates it but doesn't know how to handle it, tries a political joke
>'So Jim, let me ask you a question. You run a construction business, right? I hope your Mexican employees don't have to pay for the walls they build like they will after the election. :^)'
>jaws drop at such a vile, racist joke, all walk away leaving Larry and Jeff alone
>Larry doesn't understand, goes home
>assistant calls, all of his meetings for the next week are cancelled
>Jeff says it might be because of his joke
>has lunch with Richard Lewis, discusses what happened
>'Larry how could you? You can't make a joke like that here, we're not in New York for God's sake. Jesus Christ.'
>walking out of the restaurant, they run into Funkhouser
>'Larry, remember the six gorillion, how could you ever be so hateful?'
>Larry still doesn't understand, drives home
>comes home to find his gate broken, house egged and scrawled with 'BLM' graffiti
>assistant calls about someone cancelling another appointment, saying his joke 'betrayed his political affiliation'
>'Are you serious, my 'political affiliation'? What, do they think I'm a Trump supporter because of that joke? Shut the fuck up.'
>Larry calls Leon for help with repairing the gate, Leon says he knows some people who can fix that cheap, they'll be right over
>meanwhile word has spread
>Larry falls asleep waiting for the repair crew
>wakes up halfway through the process and sees a bunch of Mexicans mixing cement
>'So what's this all about? You're supposed to fix my gate, why do you need cement? What company are you from? I don't need this here, you have to go back! Hey!'
>old buddy Jim steps out of one of the workers' vans
>'How do you like this, asshole? We're gonna build a wall and YOU'RE going to pay for it!'
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag1o3koTLWM

>>82856603
I really wonder if Curb is going to address the Trump presidency at all. Frankly, I think all the racial tension around it opens up a lot of possibilities for Larry's characteristic faux pas.

>>82846191
I got a tushy-cheek!

>>82856848
I don't really care if they address it, but it would be a shame for Curb to go all political and preachy all of a sudden. But I trust in Larry David, even though he plays golf with Obama. If he and Seinfeld think the tiniest bit alike on political correctness, it'll be alright.

>>82853484
You are a dull, boring, retarded faggot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wf6SFJb3TKc

>>82846312
Are you yanks retarded? You have one side of the escalator for standing and one side for walking. Just go around her, you autist.

>I'll just sit on the steps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGlyAPjpsVU
>He doesn't speak English.

>>82845861
If you're insecure

>>82857498
>tram
>yank
for fuck's sake, you are absolutely not allowed to call others retarded

>>82846312
>friend going to wedding in a week
>asked me to pick up his tuxedo since he's currently out of town
>tells me it's at the men's warehouse at the mall
>go to the mall
>see men's warehouse across the street from mall
>go in
>tell them I'm my friend and here to pick up tux
>wasn't sure they'd let me pick it up if I told them I was getting it for him
>they check and say there is no tuxedo under that name
>ask them to check again
>they again tell me no while giving me weird stares
>slowly realize maybe there's another men's warehouse inside the mall
>fake getting a phone call
>go outside
>get in my car and drive away
>can see them staring at me through the window as I drive off

Fuck them why would you have a store in the mall and right across the street from the mall?

>>82855965
Wow, that was pretty spot on for the show.
Started to fall off in the latter portion tho.

>>82856603
This was just not a good post.

>>82845701
NO!

>>82858603
I told you it was shitty

>>82857498
>You have one side of the escalator for standing and one side for walking
No we don't

NO I DON'T WATCH WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE. I'M AN ADULT!

>>82853484
How much of a poorfag are you?

>>82853484

second one is fucking great. I wish I was single so I could do that on dates

>>82846574
Naw, the freak book birthday party