Did he EVER get a wife? Did he die a kissless, handholdless virgin?

He was clearly gay.

>>82821843
Did any of them hoblets get wives? Is the race of manlets written to be forever alone?

>>82821877
Sam did.

>>82821877

Sam did.

Tolkien thought bitches weren't shit

>>82821843
>caring about women in a world with dragons and magic
Woah

>>82821843
Why do you think he was so fond of Frodo?

>>82822029
Because he had a soft ass?

>>82821920
>>82821928
I think it's just Frodo and Bilbo that didn't. I'm pretty sure Tolkien wouldn't put a line about hobbits wanting to get laid if you put a gun to his head. Every other relationship mentioned is just epilogue shit so it doesn't necessarily mean they were gay or asexual or anything, but I have at least wondered as much

>>82821843
Sweetie, it's a children's book. They don't talk about relationships in books for children. You'll never know if Alice in wonderland fucks like a rabbit

Yes. Just like his father.

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>>82821843
he was the richest hobbit in the Shire
he had enough money to buy prostitutes on a daily basis due to being so filthy rich, and he knew that if he married some qt hobbit girl, she would just get fat with age and then divorce half of his immense wealth; and imagine losing the One Ring in the deal, totally unacceptable.
Bilbo realized that all the hobbit girls just wanted his riches, so he never settled down.

he had the ring

>>82821843
>Did he EVER get a wife?

No, Bilbo never married.

>Did he die a kissless, handholdless virgin?

That cannot be said for certain.

>>82822169
Was Sam's lust for the bar maid not in the book like the movie? He seemed quite horny in that scene.

>>82821877
All of them do bar Bilbo and Frodo.

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>>82822744
>Was Sam's lust for the bar maid not in the book like the movie?

To my remembering, she wasn't even brought up until she showed up toward the end of the book. And even then, it was Rosie who was actually crushing on Sam because he, Frodo, Merry and Pippin were leading the fight against Saruman's appropriation of the Shire. I.E. the war of he Ring turned Sam into an alpha, by Hobbit standards.

>>82821843
Yes, just like you.

why didnt bilbo just melt the ring in his fire place?

>>82824269
kek

>>82822169
>save world
>still no sucky suck

>>82824786

Frodo didn't want any recognition for what he did. Even when he was leading the battle of the Shire he tried to downplay himself as much as he could in everyone's eyes. He was just tired of everything and wanted shit to be set right and be done with it.

I'm sure that once he and Bilbo sailed west and got to Valinor they probably got tons of Elf puss with the greatest of blessings from the Valar.

why get a wife when you can go ro rivendell every year and fuck elve bitches that still look as young as when you met them?

>>82825104
>implying some sexy knife-ear bitch is gonna want your stumpy hairy-toed ass

Sam, Pippen and Merry all got married

>>82825183
Women only care about status, they'd fuck a ring bearer no matter how he looks

>>82825244
t. manlet who blames his lack of money instead of height as the reason no women pay attention to him

>>82825281
I'm a big guy with money, you jelly?

>>82825345
t. small dicked, poverty-stricken manlet

>>82825183
they are inmortal they are bored as fuck
things like virginity don't exist in elves because of how long they live
they want to fuck every race, even orcs and goblins
elve girls were made for big huruk cock

>>82825368
>white-knighting for fictional characters

>>82821843
>Did he EVER get a wife?
Nope.

>Did he die a kissless, handholdless virgin?
He's the richest hobbit in the Shire, as well as the most exciting and "dangerous" one. He probably had a different young thirty-something riding him every night, at least until the novelty wore off.

Theres a timeskip between the hobbit and LotR where he probably got plenty of pussy. When we see him in fellowship he's over a century old, dudes done with the whole women thing and just wants to go on one last adventure before he dies.

Frodo was suffering from hardcore PTSD but probably got some strange once he recovered.

>>82825613
if he recovered*

I want a nice elf lady gf

He didn't have a wife, because it wasn't neccessary for the story. Him having wife and children would just distract. If you tell a story, you must work with a limited amount of attention. You can't implement most aspects of the character's life since they wouldn't further the story line or offer comic relief.
So basically he never marries, because Tolkien couldn't use the wife character.

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>>82825696
>He didn't have a wife, because it wasn't neccessary for the story. Him having wife and children would just distract. If you tell a story, you must work with a limited amount of attention. You can't implement most aspects of the character's life since they wouldn't further the story line or offer comic relief.
That's where you are wrong kiddo

>>82822080
A soft ass hole ;)))))

>>82821843
Nope, after playing a real life video game he became a NEET.

>>82821928
Didn't he also become the Lord of the Westmarch or something?

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>>82824269
Goddammit, now I'll seriously never see the movies the same way again

>>82825748
Yes, giving dwarf #9 an Elven girlfriend in The Hobbit was a stroke of genius.

>>82824269
Because the entire point of the LOTR books was because that couldn't happen you fucking spergmonkey, it could only be destroyed where it was made. read the books you flaming fucking faggot kys

>>82825949
and the family of bard
and azog alive
and the orcs entering the city of dale
with legolas and shiet
and bolg being the most retarded and fake looking orc in history
and fiki and kili not dying defending the body of his fatal wounded uncle
and some copypaste of womrtongue having more lines than balin
haing three movies instead of one or two and then not having time for a proper battle with beorn killik bolg cause you made up more than half the battle
and adding giant worms wich makes smaug a ridiculous easy to kill monster
what the fuck was jackson problem?

>>82825643
>if he recovered

He didn't. It's part of why he left Arda.

>>82826313
He might have gotten better later and scored boatloads of Elf pussy though. Maybe...

>>82821843
R u kidding me? Bilbo got some hobbit slick on the regular. He just didn't care enough to settle down after he got a taste of killing dragons and shit.

>>82822216
>You'll never know if Alice in wonderland fucks like a rabbit
you would actually if you knew the reason Alice in Wonderland was written, kek

>>82825773
>Didn't he also become the Lord of the Westmarch or something?

He was Mayor of the Shire for like 49 years. During which a chunk of that time he had, I think, Pippin fill in for him because he and his family went to Minas Tirith to serve as an advisor in Elessar's court.

If Bilbo had gotten a wife and children, he couldn't have just left to wander around at the beginning of The Fellowship of the Ring.
If he had children, he couldn't just have given the ring to Frodo, because the children would have felt betrayed off their inheritance.
If Tolkien had made Frodo the son of Bilbo, there would have been a different dynamic in their relationship.
So Bilbo is a single for story telling purposes.

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>>82822627
A roastie with the One Ring sound spretty bad

>>82822169
Hobbits were meant to be like children so of course he didn't want to sexualize them.

>>82826348
>He might have gotten better later and scored boatloads of Elf pussy though. Maybe...

Nope. Elrond stated that Frodo's would from the Witch King would never properly heal. And all the shit the Ring did to him would never go away either. There was no getting better for him.

>>82828031

They were more meant to be like his idealized simple countryside folk. Devoid of all the things he detested about society and all that.

You think a human ever came to a hobbit village and just cleaned house with hobbit pussy? Like even if he's technically a manlet he now towers over every guy and is just plowing child-sized pussy all over the place. I asked Christopher Tolkien about it and he said not to call anymore.

>>82824269
It's quite cool.

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>>82821963
>not caring about women in a world with dragons, magic and elf maidens.

>>82824150
You remember differently to me.

There's a scene of the hobbits in the green dragon at least once and I think Sam says good bye to her before he leaves.

There's something going on. The rest of them are just bachelor's who marry bozo's when they get back

>>82822169
He did have a gun to his head since he wrote this stuff during WWI