One will protect you, the others will try to kill you.

I choose the one that is immortal and can disguise itself as whatever it consumes and can reproduct just by touching someone.

>>82731928
The white frame.

>stand in the middle
>none can touch me

>>82731928
..why the fuck would you choose Jaws?

Predator to protect me. Its the only correct answer, Predators fuck up xenomorphs. Im sure he'll have no problem with The Thing since even humans can win against it in a fight. As far as Jaws goes, I just wont go in the ocean....

The thing can just assimilate all others

>>82732184
ride on his back into safety and comfy life in the ocean

>>82732269
>Im sure he'll have no problem with The Thing since even humans can win against it in a fight.
Humans win against Predator all the time. We don't even know if humans won against The Thing or if Charles was infected.

The Thing is obviously the most powerful, and can only be killed with fire. Xeno's acid wont work since Xenos die to fire too, and I doubt Predator's plasma thing would work either.

Problem is, The Thing will protect me, but will it assimilate me?
Does assimilation of living humans kill the human, or is their body just twisted and morphed, taken off the rails, while they can only hopelessly watch was the Thing takes their very being on a rollercoaster ride?

If so I might just kill myself and not choose any of them.

>>82732184

> year 2k + 17 of our savior lord
> not choosing muscle tube to protect you from invisible bob marley, sexualized nightmares, and copycat machine

>>82732029
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>82732269
>even humans can win against it in a fight
Humans can win a fight with a Predator too

Thing > Pred > Xeno >>>>>>>>>>>> A gay shark

>>82731928
I think it's more important to consider the survival of all life here, which is why the game is really about how you kill the thing, in which case the only option is predator.

>>82731928
Thing, no doubt.
The xeno has a fighting chance tho, so you'd have to make sure to take down the other two first, and then use their combined biomas to fight it.

>>82732623
>Thing keeps you alive by assimilating you
>You are a mound of flesh, incapable of seeing, feeding the things biomass, unable to move or scream, but alive
>Thing kills and or assimilates Pred Bruce and Xeno and you can't die
Yeah good idea desu.

Predators teaming up with humans is the most kino thing that can happen. I'd team up with him and we'd fuck shit up together.

>>82732269
>he'll have no problem with The Thing since even humans can win against it in a fight
>implying humans won

>>82731928
Replace Jaws with Terminator or Robocop or something.

>>82732029
Only answer

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>>82731928
A shark? A FUCKING SHARK? Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck is a shark going to do against fucking alien creatures? Fucking hell.

>>82732733
>just making some random nightmarish shit up to disqualify the thing

You're basically in fucking charge of the thing, as his sole reason for existing is to protect you.
He's not going to assimilate you unless you ask.

It wouldn't be hard to lure the predator in, and most of his shit is exposed, so all you need is for the thing to look non-threatening and afraid, and for it to be on the route the predator will take to get to you.

The shark just needs to swallow it, and the thing can work his magic from the inside out.

>>82733037
No, never did it say I was in charge, it said the Thing will PROTECT ME, that means how the Thing sees fit.

What better way to protect me than to assimilate me?

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>>82733037
>"He's not going to assimilate you unless you ask."
>every person in the movie willingly asked to be turned into abominations

>Shark bites Alien
>Acid comes out and burns his insides

Nobody pick jaws.

>>82732269
>thinking being inland makes you safe from jaws

someone never read the potential jaws 5 draft

>>82733107
In this scenario he's on your side, and he's clever too, so I'm sure he'll hear you out at least.
Absorbing you would probably fuck your shit up dead, besides my previous point.

>>82733155
Entirely different scenario.

>>82733015
>What the fuck is a shark going to do against fucking alien creatures?
He's going to bit them obviously, you fucking dipshit.

The Thing, obviously

>>82732029
SPBP

>>82733409
>He's clever too
That's my point. Why have to keep a second eye on you while taking care of three separate entities trying to kill you, when he can just absorb you into himself while keeping you alive wanting to die?
I don't see how you could reason with him to let you keep the general body shop you have currently at the cost of 1. Causing him more trouble 2. Taking away mass from him.

I would probably go with the Predator. AVP showed us that predators get semi-plot armor when helping humans.

The Thing and Alien are both villainous, so fate isn't on their side. Jaws is just a shark.

>>82733511
You don't seem to get the fact that he's on your side.
He's essentially a tool to be used in this scenario.
It wasn't specified in the OP the specifics of the relationship between you and your protector, so there's no need to inconvenience yourself unless you're a cuck.

I'd pick the predator, if all else fails he can at least use his nuke to take the thing down with us and save the galaxy

>>82732863
fuck this gay shit predafriend is the worst thing to ever happen to action movies.

Xenomorphs....Yea, I know what you're thinking

>b-but they get killed easily by predator!

Sure, if we're counting 1 or a few of them. How about...A whole hive full of them? How you say? Easy.

>Once you acquire Xeno:

>Xeno will transform to queen since there is no available queen around.

>Lays eggs

>Face huggers move out to find any available victims either human or animal.

Before you know it, I would have amass an entire army of xeno's in a short amount of time(provided I hid very well).

Use army as a defence against any of the monsters stupid enough to try and attack

>predator approaches

>gets swarmed or FACEHUGGED.com

>preferably facehugged so I can get an egg laying Predalien to speed up egg production.

>or commits suicide explosive like a submissive cuck

>wipes out a good 20-40 of my xeno's

>noproblem.jpg

>Thing approaches

>Notevenacontest.gif

>My xeno pets swarm thing

>Easy

As for Jaws...Just don't go to water...

Xenomorph wins.

>>82733986
Following the comics which touch the Predator vs Alien plotmore than any movie, Predators have to kill hives of more than 300 Xenos to become "Elites"

>>82733964
>thing assimilates the entire swarm

>>82734078
okay, they become "Clan Leader", they only need to kill a queen to become an Elite.

>>82734078
In one go? Haven't read the comics, but I doubt a single Predator can survive being swarmed by over twenty Xeno's all at once. It's just not possible, especially with acid blood that can be squirted.

fuck le thing, worst name, worst looks, worst fanbase

>>82733986
Actually not a bad idea. However, I do think making regular Xeno to become a queen takes time, if I'm not mistaken.

>>82732029
Holy shit

>>82734250
b8

>>82734238
yeah with a maximum help of two other predators, to get even higher rank they must have cleansed at least 5 hives by themselves.
The predators in the alien vs predator movies are all Younglings so they are a lot weaker than elites

Also the acid blood isn't a problem for predators, they have armor that can't be melted by it.

if you haven't, go play the games they are awesome.

https://youtu.be/XB_7xDhY574?t=243

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>>82733986
>preferably facehugged so I can get an egg laying Predalien to speed up egg production.

Pretty much this. Once you got yourself a Predalien, you pretty much won. If the Xeno wasn't already the perfect organism, Predator genetics would make it be. Though it would be hard for the predator to surrender, seeing as it would rather commit suicide than get killed.

>>82733986
>Facehugger attaches to shark
>Shark Xeno
Fuck that shit.

>>82734456
>shit movies
>even shittier games

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>>82734761
"The perfect organism....."

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>>82734761
>face huggers can't attach to sharks and breed Xeno sharks..

That's where you're wrong, kiddo.

>>82732269
You're ignoring humans had a fight with the thing due to lack of VFX technology back there. Puppets are slow and can,t really move around hence why the thing was 100 times deadlier in the 2011 prequel. Ignore what you saw in the movie and think of the creature itself. There's nothing anyone in that frame could do against it. Xenomorph would be the first to get fucked since it has only physical attacks. Predator would be the only one who,d have a chance. He could set the thing on fire but until he figure out that weakness he'd be dead already.

>>82731928

Dude, Jaws is cool and all but how the fuck can it compete against the others?

>>82734924
Why are Xenos so aesthetic? Literally the kirby of monsters.

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>>82735088
it would easily win if we're talking about the canadian rules of combat

Fuck Jaws. Take him out and add the blob to the combat.

>>82734924
I didnt say it couldt I was saying fuck that shit as in it would be scary as fuck can you imagine Jaws but with a xeno shark

>>82735285
It wouldn't make any difference. It would still have been killed the same way, it would still cause the same damage (maybe even less considering it would bite with a tiny mouth), it would still be limited to the ocean, it would still be a fucking shark.

Literally nothing would change other than "woah that shark looks weird".

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>>82733986
more like
......
>obtain xeno swarm
>kill predator
>In the meantime the entirety of earth's biology has been converted to The Thing.

>Consider that you should have thought out your plan of action better on the navajo dragon-dildo appraisement billboard.

Predator seems like a good choice until the OG Zerg Rush happens and he activates his suicide nuke rather than be dishonored.

Alien, if David is included and can get me to an Engineer ship so the Predator's plasma caster and spears and fuck you frisbees don't go over the Aliens and into my skull, but then he'd probably dick me over. without David, I'd have to get in a hive, and the Predator would fuck that up with his nuke, and if the nuke didn't kill me, it'd leave an opening for the Thing to come in.

Thing would protect via assimilation, and Jaws is a really big fish. but the correct answer is obviously Batman.

>>82732029
10/10

jaws should be replaced with the liquid metal terminator from T2.

Jaws isn't even the best in the water, Alien 4 proved that.

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Imagine if the Thing was your girlfriend.
It could turn itself into anyone it absorbed, so every night when she went out to feed, she'd come back looking like a different woman.
Or maby she had a really fucked up sense of humor, and turned into some sort of fucked up monster right in the middle of sex to see if she could gross you out.
Or she could grow like a dozen vaginas, assholes and mouths anywhere on her body.
You'd be sitting there at your computer, when suddenly she walks up beside you and slides her 'hand' down your shorts, but then her hand opens into a mouth, and suddenly you're getting a blowjob.
The possibilities are fucking endless.

>>82733986
The Predator wins stuff is similar to Batman analysis, where Batman has the honor of sneaking up on everyone.

Unfortunately the aliens are also good at this by just hiding up in the rafters, or sneaking around them. Once in its clutches, it wins, or gets killed, and wins anyway because it dissolves whatever it touches, which is whatever blasted it apart from point blank range.

>>82737182
That shit would kill my boner, mang.
Changing into other women is cool, but she better be doing that shit in another room.
And the fucking noises too, I don't want to hear the wet gurgling noises and horrifying screams from a thousand light years away when she mutates.

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>>82731928
I want to be protected by a female Predator.

>>82733363
what does he go on like a gurney or something?

>>82733363
>>82737394
inb4

GASHUNK

>>82732863
Fucking this

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>>82737182
She'd been living with you for a few weeks now, this mysterious monster pretending to be a woman.
You don't know where she came from, or why she chose you, but you're just glad you're not on the menu. You saw the missing persons reports all over the news, but you tried to keep it in the back of your mind, even though these strangers walked into your home every night.
Blondes, brunettes, redheads, young and old. Thankfully they were never men, but if she did assimilate them, she seemed to know you weren't into that kinda thing.
She was an asian girl tonight. Barley out of her teens. "Poor girl", you thought absentmindedly as you glanced up at her from the couch as she sniffed the air and looked at her hands, getting used to her new self. She was giving you that grin again. It was usually able to contain itself and pass itself off like a normal person almost indefinably as you went out in public to go shopping or whatever, but when it got home, it seemed to not trouble itself with formalities. Her cheeks split on either side, the flesh tearing as all those goddamn teeth nearly pushed its jaws apart. One of her hands rubbed at her face, her fingers melting through the skin as if it was a mask.. though in a way, it really was.
You always figured this was her trying to be seductive. The sounds she made were soft, throaty, sexual noises from a dozen women at once that echoed from her neck as it stretched.

>>82734078
the comics are pretty dumb like that.
Predator got beaten by one dude covered in mud with fucking caveman technology. I dont get where all the predator dicksucking comes from.
The only conceivable way a predator could kill that many xenos is by glassing the area from the air.
seriously whoever thought predators beating xenomorphs in melee was a good idea needs to reevaluate their life.

Predator, tell him to stock up on blue liquid to counter the thing and I'm all good.

>>82732184
Jaws seems like he'd be a pretty chill roommate, just make sure he's got plenty of room to swim around and some people to munch on and you'll be good to go to play some playstation together.

>>82731928
Predator's probably got a helmet mode that can detect "Things", it can hold its own against Xenos, and fuck a shark, so I'll go with that.

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>>82733986
Good

>>82733419
>bite the thing with acid for blood
>bite the thing called the thing and get turned over
>we now have the shark thing

it could only ever conceivably be a threat to the predator if it went skinny dipping without its plasma canon, because predators are basically just humans with higher tech.

>>82737753
Predators are strong and tall as fuck. They are basically like savage engineers.

Should have been a Freddy/Jason duo instead of Jaws

>>82737353
>ywn have a predator waifu who takes care of you and protects you from evil

>>82737835
>They are basically like savage engineers.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yauyja are 7 feet tall which is human sized you imbecile, they're fit yeah and so can humans be.
Their only advantage over a peak physical human is their technology and maybe their scary face (but lets be fair them biting either the thing or the xenomorph would not end well)

>>82737905
Why not pinhead from hellraiser? He'd at the very least stand a chance against all three.

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>>82737835
>Predators are strong and tall as fuck. They are basically like savage engineers.
Engineer > Predator in both stature and physical strength

>>82738213
Did the engineers decide to wipe humanity out of existence for the one unforgivable crime, being manlets?

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>>82738272
>Engineers got called lanky by /fit/
>couldn't handle the bantz

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>>82738369
>10 ft tall
>Trying to pass this off as natty.

>>82738017
>7ft
> human size

Are you legit retarded?

>>82732449
>>82732982
>>82733461
>>82734389
>>82736941
hahah xD epic answer I know

edit: thanks for my first reddit gold internet! ;P

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>>82738480
the tallest human was almost 9 feet tall senpai, history is litered with 8 feet tall giants.

Yautja hunters are taller than your average human sure thing, but they're still firmly human sized.

pic related 7 feet tall guy who's a bodybuilder.

I pick bruce the shark.

Everyone says don't go in the water, so I say don't come out of the water.

>>82738571
He also can't move to save his life.

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>>82738666
blub blub motherfucker.

>>82731928
Holy shit the Thing of fucking course.

>>82738712
the shark will just bite him and... oh

the thing can transform into any of the others and has basically infinite possibilities to fuck your enemies up

>>82732733
>keeps you alive by assimilating you

It's fairly obvious that you are not "alive" if you have been assimilated. It could however make some neat armor for you.

>>82738213
The actor that performed as the egineer is the same one that performed as the predator in avp

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>>82738782
It's also pretty obviously that they used perspective and puppets to make him way bigger in prometheus.

>>82735176
Because giger was actually pretty good at design.

>>82737532
Not bad.

>>82732406
>. Xeno's acid wont work since Xenos die to fire too, and I doubt Predator's plasma thing would work either.
this is one of the more retarded statements in this thread. Plasma is pretty damn hot you know and xeno acid melts flesh and steel, the predator can try to hunt it down and the xenomorph cant be assimilated and doesn't give a shit about body horror.

now if the thing got into a major population area then it would be a real shitshow however, since I'm pretty sure it's infection rate far outstrips even the xenomorphs pants on head levels of reproduction, the only option left by that point is for the predator to nuke the site from orbit.

>meanwhile, somewhere out in the ocean, a shark gets cuddled by a marine biologist.

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>>82737182
Like that shit wouldn't get you eaten on day 1.

>>82738712
farewell and adieu to you xenomorph ladies
farewell and adieu to you aliens of space
for we've received orders for to sail back to lv 233
and so nevermore shall we see you again

>>82733015
loudly kek

>>82738213
>in both stature and physical strength
And technology, it seems

>>82739459
>Engineers > Predators
>Xenomorphs > Engineers
>people somehow think Predators > Xenomorphs

It's pretty clear that it's massive predator fanboys who have them slaughtering xenomorphs with little to no effort. Although honestly alot of that probably stems from how the AVP games where balanced.

>>82739564
Anytime there was a competent Predator he slaughtered numerous Xenos. Both in game and film.

>>82739564
>Rock > Scissors
>Paper > Rock
>people somehow think Scissors > Paper

It's pretty clear that it's massive Scissor fanboys who have them slaughtering Paper with little to no effort. Although honestly alot of that probably stems from how the SVP games where balanced.

>>82739605
>>82739636
>muh honorubu space hunters
Your plasma weapons are nullified by freaking mud

>>82737551
arnold isnt just some dude

>>82739687
I was just pointing out your retarded thought process

>>82732422
>muscle tube
>invisible bob marley
>sexualized nightmares
>copycat machine
i want this on a shirt

>>82739717
>he thinks the food chain is like rock paper scissors
okay

>>82735176
>>82738825

Because Xeno shark is kinda like a giant swimming penis or a giant swimming flesh light depending how you look at it.

>>82739758
>He thinks the food chain is a straight line

>>82737603
but he doesn't have thumbs

or even hands

>>82739687
your crappy alien's queen got rekt by a forklift

>>82739811
A power armor forklift is still more impressive than a trap made out of logs.

>>82733409
>Entirely different scenario
oh

>>82734880
>The perfect orgasm

>>82734924
pretty rad
needs some work on the mouth/teeth though
doesn't look right

>>82739697
fundamentally correct
especially prime arnold

>>82731928
Can I pick a predator(female)?

>>82731928
>shark
it's a fucking shark, are you serious?
>alien
good, but canonically killable by predator
>the thing
it's whole deal is that 'it can be anybody'. doesn't really work where there is only me and my protector
>predator
nuff said

>>82737551
Because Predators have never fucked around with Xenos, viewing them as the ultimate prey. Predators have a really bad habit of underestimating humans and as a result toying with them before they kill (which usually gets the Predator killed).

>>82732184
water kills aliens you retard. you've never seen signs?

>>82732184
Jaws is canon the strongest.

Does the Predator even have weaknesses?

I'm not even trying to say he can just gib xenos all he likes, but xenomorphs aren't terribly clever, and only have their great speed and power.

The thing only kills when its in danger, or when its alone with the person it wants to assimilate.
And jaws, only gets around the ocean, although he could appear in any body of water honestly.

>>82738984
>xenomorph cant be assimilated
lol what

>>82732298
>assimilate something with acid blood

>>82740309
Their honor and confidence are arguably the things that fuck them over the most.

the thing is way OP here

>>82740322
yes and?

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>>82737182

It's been done

>>82733461
redpill me on spbp

>>82740574
>spbp
sexy pusy
best pusy

>>82740313
they explain in the movie how the thing assimilates you.
It happens on the cellular level, said thing cells would melt when they came in contact with xeno blood and thus cant infect them.
Not to mention every single cell in the things body wants to survive to the point that blood jumps out of a petri dish when something hot pokes it.

>>82740814
based pusy poster

>>82740309
>Does the Predator even have weaknesses?
They're essentially larger humans who are really into /fit/ and /k/ and like to go on space hunting trips.
their hubris usually being the thing to fuck them over but obviously anything that can fuck up a human can fuck up a predator.

>>82740370
>thing thing assimilates you on a cellular level
>Xenomorphs have MOLECULAR acid
>cells are made out of mulecules just like absolutely everything else

are you seeing the problem here?

>>82740278
underrated post

>>82740217
It could disguise itself as you. Good luck figuring out which slim shady is the real slim shady. Plus if they attack it, it pretty much consumes them.

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>>82731928
I pick best waifu and start a big family.

>>82740309
>Does the Predator even have weaknesses?
well for one it doesn't fight non combatants, so going by OPs premise, it would fist fight you unless you're a gun nut due to its honor code.

>>82739857
physics doesn't care about technology

>>82739811
>your crappy alien's queen got rekt by a forklift
did you not watch the movie? The alien queen didn't get beaten by the power lifter, they wrestled and fell into the safety hazard bay door.

The vacuum of space beat the alien queen.

>>82733986
The whole point of the thing is that there is a weakness in numbers you dumbass

The more you have on your side, the more options the thing has to assimilate

>>82731928
Even if picking The Thing is a gamble on how monkey's paw it being your protector may be, it is the ONLY choice that has a chance at ending with humanity surviving.

If the xenomorph protects you The Thing assimilates all of humanity and you will eventually die whether it can absorb the xeno or not.

Same for the predator.

Water born Thing is the opposite of what we want.

>>82735276
This makes it a lot more interesting. Would blob dissolve thing or would thing assimilate blob?

>>82740814
but really

>>82731928
The Predator or the thing, I think I'll take the Predator since he's smart and I could explain to him the other guys weaknesses (like the thing to fire), the others are jsut dumb animals

>>82741523
Thing assimilates


Thing wins all scenarios

>>82741500
Humanity loses if the xenomorph or the thing is unleashed on a population center really.
but who says the thing doesn't still assimilate everything even if you pick it as protector? Nobody said anything about protecting the rest of humanity, just your fat weaboo ass.

I think OPs premise deals more with the three others actively trying to kill you specifically, it would have been helpful if he'd also picked an environment for this obviously, since if we're on like.. A boat then Jaws is a bit more a problem and the amount of places you can hide from any of the 3 alien apex creatures becomes severely limited. (Not to mention if it's just a large open field, Predator wins because of range advantage).

As for picking between the thing and the xenomorph in the case of saving humanity, I'd say containing the xenomorph is easier than containing the thing if it's not allowed to kill you. And as discussed above Molecular acid > the thing so atleast it could take care of the more dangerous organism and you would just have to haul it's eggs off and bury them somwhere, or keep blamming the people they bring back to the hive.

>>82733511
>I don't see how you could reason with him to let you keep the general body shop you have currently at the cost of 1

Because in this hypothetical scenario he is your ally/slave, he can't harm you, you fucking autist

>>82733986
Lol

Thing infects an alien, goes inside the hide

You know have an entire Alien hive full of Alien/Thing hybrids, good luck with that.

>>82741679
>Thing infects an alien, goes inside the hide
The thing literally cant infect a xenomorph dum-dum

>>82733986
Lol

Thing infects an alien, goes inside the hive

You know have an entire Alien hive full of Alien/Thing hybrids trying to get you, good luck with that.

>>82741703
Why not, also an alien can't kill the thing since they have no fire weapons

>>82741591
>the others are jsut dumb animals

>the thing was literally building a UFO out of helicopter spare parts in the basement.

>xenomorphs have been shown time again that they can learn how technology works to use it to their advantage in freighteningly short timespans.

Basically the only dumb one is Jaws.

>>82741747
>Why not
Molecular acid, the thing xenomorphs are established to have for blood since the first movie.
In the thing they show how the blood assimilates other cells.
Cells get melted by molecular acid just like flesh, steel and absolutely everything else.

As for killing the thing, it really just needs to rip and tear it to shreds. Fire is easy to get on your own (no on said you aren't allowed to help your protector) and the xenomorph itself can survive fire (even if it doesn't like it) as shown by the fact that it survived a prolonged bath in fucking molten lead.

>>82741879
Well the Alien's acid obviously can't melt the Alien itself, the Thing just starts assimilating the Alien's external cells and then works from there since it's now resistant to the acid due to taking on the morphology of the Alien's own cells.

>>82740217
>canonically

>>82741910
yeah that's not really how it works, the only thing that we have in reality that can resist molecular acid are special type of plastics that cannot react with anything (to the point that you cant even burn it, you can only turn it into charcoal at extreme temperatures) the thing would literally have an easier time assimilating steel than this stuff.

the thing because it would just infect everyone, ignore the autist saying it cant infrect the xenomorph

>>82731928
Better question, who would you choose:


>The Blob
>Predator
>Alien
>The thing

>>82741975
>ignore the people who understand how scary molecular acid is.

also the predator has a plasma canon and we've seen that dynamite works just fine for killing off the thing.

>>82742005
Yes, one thing, once he infects other organisms he's done for

>>82741963
I don't really get what the problem is there. But even then the Thing could still assimilate an Alien.

>assimilate human
>human get's facehuggered
>assimilate the baby alien growing inside you
>now have acid resistance

The Thing would win regardless.

>>82742005
stop posting

>>82735185
Lel

>Pick Jaws
>Since he's not going to attack you, rig up some kind of torpedo launcher and strap it to him, with a pressure trigger attached to his mouth
>Modify a scuba suit with a waterproof camera
>Strap another one to Jaws head and remotely link them up
>Modify spear gun with high charged waterproof battery pack
>Put suit on, take spear gun and sail out to deep ocean

>Predator comes on his spaceship
>Dive into ocean
>Predator lands on boat
>Jaws blows up boat
>Predator dead

>Xenomorph comes
>Jaws can smell it swimming towards you long before it gets within striking distance
>Jaws blows it up
>Xenomorph dead

>You see a friendly majestic dolphin playfully swimming toward you
>Oh no you dont
>Shoot it from a distance with your spear gun and feed it 10,000 volts
>The Thing dead

>Climb onto Jaws back and swim back to civilisation, friendship and camaraderie cemented forever

>>82742026
Assuming the alien is rock stupid enough to put a facehugger on an infected human.
also
>Assuming it could assimilate the chestburster even then.
What part of Molecular acid melts through absolutely everything including glass (which is why we have specialized plastic containers for it) is it you dont get?
The thing has only been shown capable of absorbing biological matter, the material needed to contain molecular acid is NOT biological matter. Otherwise it would just have assimilated its way through the door in the movie.
Xenomorphs are bio-MECHANOID creatures.

Which either way isn't really relevant to the current discussion which is: Which of the four would you pick to protect you, if the three others where trying to kill you.

>>82742112
the things cells is resistant to acid dumbass

>>82742112
>Xenomorphs are bio-MECHANOID creatures
Where is it ever stated in the Alien films that they're partly mechanical? Having an exoskeleton doesn't make something mechanical.

>>82734727
That hospital scene with the preggo woman is the nastiest shit

Jaws


he's Cthulhu second cousin, and Cthulhu is all about family and shit

>>82742145
>the things cells is resistant to acid dumbass
It would literally be easier for the thing to make itself fireproof than make itself molecular acid proof.

>>82742217
it would just assimilate the aliens flesh and bust it open, use your brain moron

>>82742260
show me where in the movies the thing assimilates clothes, doors, metal objects or really just anything other than plain ol' flesh.

>>82742217
>It would literally be easier for the thing to make itself fireproof than make itself molecular acid proof.
>xenomorph is weak to fire

>>82742285
the aliens flesh isnt clothes doors or metal objects you dumb homo

I pick Jaws.

I modify him into a half-human/half-shark/all awesome hybrid using bio-engineering

I clone that hybrid multiple times

I download the memories of one John Matrix into their brain

I give them access to an arsenal

I tell them that Predator, Alien and Thing have leaked nude pics of their daughterfu on the internet.

I give them that the bad guys are just a bunch of pricks all full of steam.

>>82742336
>Jaws Clone: Weird. I keep putting holes in him and no steam comes out. I guess I'll just have to make more holes then.

>>82742316
Alien flesh is made out of stuff that's immune to molecular acid.
Let me tell you a thing about molecular acid anon
It is way, way fucking scarier than Phagocytosis (which is how cells eat)

Explain this to me: How the fuck are you gonna digest something that's 100% acid proof?

>>82742312
>xenomorph is afraid of fire
FTFY
it takes a bath in molten lead and doesn't even slow down.

>>82731928
>Jaws
I mean, i guess none of them can swim. As long as i had a shit ton of oxygen tanks and was submerged in a shark cage Jaws could pretty well easily fend them off from me being that its an apex predator in the water. Even the predator itself cant outfight Jaws in the water. Sooner or later though id have to come up for air and Jaws would not be able to offer any protection there. Worst choice easily
>The Thing
Can it assimilate a xenomorph? A xenomprph got all that acid blood and shit that might be extremely difficult to work around when trying to fight it.I guess it could though. It wouldnt even need to worry about Jaws since im not in the god damn ocean. Only obstacle would be the Predator. Pretty likely that a Predator has seen something like this before or at least knows what its dealing with. But the thing plus a potentially assimilated xenomorph would seal the deal
>Xenomorph
All depends on if it can be assimilated. even if it can, its still pretty smart in its own right. If humans can figure out how to beat the thing so can a xenomorph. Alien vs Predator films are fucking stupid so i dont accept that the Xenomorph would be an underdog in this matchup, but once again the Predator is the ultimate obstacle.
>Predator
Objectively the best choice unless Jaws is somehow able to procure oxygen tanks for me indefinitely.

>>82742111
nice trips

>>82742411
>i guess none of them can swim
>>82738712

>>82731928
Predator fuckstomps those other 3 things it isn't even funny.

>>82742410
if the thing infects the aliens flesh then he obviously becomes immune to acid as well
do you even think before you post

>>82742468
the predator is just a 7 feet tall bodybuilder with some fancy gadgets.

>>82742491
>if the thing infects the aliens flesh then he obviously becomes immune to acid as well
>if the thing infects
>infects
>phagocytosis
>infects
You skipped biology lessons didn't you?

>>82742534
it obviously doesnt use phagocytosis then RETARD

If Alien and Predator are solo beings, they have the edge on Jaws and the Thing. If there is more than one Alien and more than one Predator, they are fucked because they're just generic goons at this point.

The solo characters are always the best and will fuck with a group of generic ennemies.

Now, having said that, the underdog always win, so The Thing is also fuck because it's too overpowered compared to Jaws, who is the "normal" of the lot, being an ordinary shark.

So, even if there is only one Alien and one Predator, Jaws wins.

>>82740370
The thing's cells would just get destroyed if it entered the Xeno's body.

On that note though, I don't know how the Xeno would actually kill The Thing without killing itself/using the acid. Physical attacks don't do shit so I'm pretty sure The Thing would still win anyway.

>>82742632
How is that going to help you against The Thing?

>>82742494
predator is superhuman in agility, speed, strength, and durability.

>>82742575
except they fucking show you how the thing works in the movie you mong, it's how the realize they can do the blood test.
The very nature of the material needed to be resistant to the molecular acid makes it impossible to break down via biological processes, the very thing we are SHOWN in the movie takes place to cause infecting.

>>82742632
Yes that explains why Danny Glover was able to beat it in a 1v1 melee fight.

Pred has no defence against The Thing unlike Xenomorphs, so it's fucked.

Also, while The Thing may not be able to beat a Xeno (who knows) in a 1v1, you gotta remember that if you choose to have The Thing as one of the enemies, it'll assimilate Predator and Jaws and you'll get fucked by a gigantic mutated Street Shark as well as a beefed up Predator stronger than it already was.

>>82742594
This is one fo the dumbest things I have ever read

>>82742674
I think you vastly underestimate the power of human athletes.

>>82742674
Not helpful against The Thing or a Xeno
>>82742702

>>82742691
But the movie never shows that infection can happen with a complex organism. We only see The Thing consuming other beings and creating a NEW BODY after that. It's not clear if the cell by cell infection can happen outside a petri dish.

Maybe it can, but The Thing doesn't seem to use that method very much (at least not on-screen).

The only winning move is Jaws, because you need it to eat the other 3 in a very specific order. It needs to eat the predator (but keep him alive so he can set off his self destruct) and then it has to hurry up and gobble up both the xenomorph and the thing at the same time, before exploding.

>>82741535
second post best post
as opposed to fpbp
how new are you?

>>82742704
You've never watched a movie before? This is in 90% of the horror/action movies out there.

This is /tv/, not /v/.

>>82742766
It's pretty clear that's how it absorbs other beings, I mean it's a really neat trick and very efficient too.

It just doesn't work with none biological matter and the xenomorph, by virtue of being made out of stuff that doesn't melt from the hyper molecular acid (because it's water stronger than the real thing) would necesitate that its entire body is made out of basically the most indigestable material in the universe.

It doesn't matter if the thing acts like a virus, a bacteria or a cell. Neither of those three options can digest the stuff needed to contain molecular acid.

>>82742826
>Water stronger
fug

>>82731928
The Thing would assimilate all life on Earth and would have the entire Earth's biomass at its disposal to take out the others. At that point it would most likely be able to use a gun to kill the xenomorph.

>>82731928

jaws would kill me if the thing was my protector, it doesn't have the speed or range to preemptively take jaws out before I am mortally wounded

a xeno would be able to protect me from jaws but not predator or the thing

the thing could theoretically kill a xeno, but I don't know how much of itself would be damaged in the fight and how long would it take to recover to be able to take on a predator, which it may not be able to do because of the tech

the predator can be chomped in half by jaws, but should be able to take out the shark with his long range weapons, a predator should be able to take out a xeno, presumably but if the fight goes hand to hand the tide could turn and then I'd be fucked, predator may be able to take out the thing but maybe not completely or maybe not in a fashion where I wasn't first assimilated

tough fucking choice, I can't think of the best guardian, I know it would not be jaws, but of the 3 extraterrestrial I'm not sure

>>82742826
How is this clear? We never see it, we only see it eating people and pooping out a new body. That is the only thing we see complex The Thing do. Nothing else.

>>82742826
There is a strong case for the alien's blood actually being enzymatic, not entirely acidic. Given that there are no acids that can eat through all the materials that xeno blood can, not at once anyway. It's just against how acids work. Enzymes however could have the range that their blood has.

This is a pointless aside really. The point of arbitration in this discussion is out of our bounds. We need Word of God on whether or not a Thing cell can consume and mimic a xeno cell before the acid destroys it and we're never going to get that.

>>82742826
If the alien has cells that are resistant to acid then they must be able to do the things that cells do while being resistant to the acid blood. If the thing assimilates one of these cells it will be resistant to acid because it will have the exact structure of that Alien cell.

I don't know why you're so hung-up on the Thing assimilating an Alien when if anything you should be getting exactly as hung up about how the Alien exactly functions with such strong acid in their blood.

>>82731928
The blob would kill them all off easily, except maybe the predator who could nuke it or freeze it.

>>82742889
well we see the microscope scene and we see the dog thing basically digest the other dogs via tentacles.

But either way the point stands: The material needed to contain molecular acid and the fact that xenomorphs dont melt themselves if they get covered in their own blood, necesitates that it's made out of a very particular brand of polymer which cannot be broken down by any biological means.

I mean they probably didn't know it when making the movie, but it makes sense that xenomorphs are afraid of fire, since the only way to break down that type of polymer is to heat it to such a high degree that it turns to charcoal. The other obvious option being to shoot them full of holes (which is actually the one survivability thing I'd say gives the thing an edge, because shotguns aren't going to do much against it)

>>82742949
Because the biological process of breaking something down and absorbing it is a way less volatile thing than molecular acid, especially one that melts through steel in seconds.

>>82742921
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHJpmWYncuo

>>82732184
live in a house boat, never have to worry about getting attacked. Steal weapons from pirates, form your own PMC

>>82742949
>when if anything you should be getting exactly as hung up about how the Alien exactly functions with such strong acid in their blood.
I always assumed their innards were made up of a kind of non-biological texture that was resistant to it, since they're essentially specifically designed bioweapons rather than natural creatures.

Hell the original Giger design was bio-mechanical with all the strange tubes etc. But of course Cameron decided to turn them into giant bugs so it seems entirely dependant on which canon you want to use.

Whatever the Xeno's blood is made of, it's highly corrosive and hot, and it's been shown that fire outright kills the Thing and its cells so I'd place my bets on it being incapable of assimilating the Xeno's cells personally, but your argument is sound.

>>82743047
>live on a houseboat
>predator flies by and shoots you out of the water

great plan

>>82742889
Palmer was turned at the beginning by the dog licking him.

>>82742977
It's been a long time, but wasn't there a scene with some of the acid in a glass jar in the first Alien? I know it was a ble to disolve a few floors of the ship, but seemed to be reacting the same to glass as "regular" acid.

>>82743058
>predator flies by
>jaws jumps out of the water and eats predator in mid air
don't be such a tard

>>82732025
Jaws?

>>82743060
No.

>>82743082
Jaws was Keanu Reaves all along!

We've been matrixed!

>>82743060
Your fanfic isn't canon.

>>82743063
It's explained that Xeno acid loses it's aciditic quality in a very short timespan when exposed to air. You could probably keep it in just about any container once it goes innert.

>>82742949
who says xenomorphs have cells? For all we know they're walking car batteries.

>>82743135
>>82743087
>Movie shows Thing Dog come into contact with one human deliberately early on
>Movie establishes that Thing is a macro and microscopic threat in that its cells attack other cells and mimics them
>Movie shows another man get attacked on the macro scale and become a Thing
>Movie shows man from earlier, who had minimal contact with the Thing is ALSO a Thing now
HMM GEE I WOMDER WAT HABENED XDDDD FUG

>>82743195
How do they grow from an egg, to a chestburster, to a full grown Xenomorph if they don't have cells?

>>82743195
Ash says so. The monitor he's next to when speaking with Dallas also says so. Pay attention.

>>82743195
>batteries aren't cells
readabook.org

>>82733331
I pick jaws because i believe in him

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>>82731928
Let me make the question more interresting:

You're on a luxury yacht.

The thing could be any of the crew

good luck finding the xenomorph

good luck finding the predator

A fucking shark is gonna eat you if you bail.

If you dont kill off the 2-3 other aliens you didn't pick as an ally humanity is doomed.

>>82743426
fucken look at that boat

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The Thing.

Give it a drop of my blood so it can make perfect decoys. Then send it out to collect bio-mass from nearby populated areas and farms.

It can now take on xeno(s) and any hives without fear of being destroyed completely.

Send a decoy into the ocean so Jaws is assimilated.

Predator could be a problem since he can return to his space craft and glass the the planet, but it would probably just seppuku.

Meanwhile I'll go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.

>>82743678
>anon dooms humanity
great going

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>>82743701

>creating a unified entity with no political agendas that would propagate human genos further into the universe is dooming humanity

Can someone explain how a predator with a butterknife can go toe to toe with a xeno even though xeno's are impervious to all but the most high caliber guns?

Is this predator fanwank that somehow made into the terrible canon of AvP?

>>82733986
reddit spacing

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>>82743874
It's been around since before you were born, son. Go to bed.

>>82733015
get on a boat and youre instantly safe

>>82743817
that's great and all except for the part where humanity is wiped out and replaced with pod people.

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>>82743916
literally never how it's been on this site

Doesn't Jaws have some kind of voodoo powers or something in one of the sequels? In that case him because magic powers.

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>>82743918
>xenomorphs can swim
>the thing can infect fish and bird alike
>the predator has a spaceship

>>82733015
You've never seen any shark movie?

Sharks are better than the Thing, they can become avalanches, fire storms, twisters, asteroids, ROBOTS, aliens, hybrids with other creatures, etc.

>>82731928
The only real answer is the one it would be most fun to team up with. The Thing is canonically basically an indestructible horrific death-machine and even if you teamed up with it it would assimilate everything else around it and destroy the Earth. Jaws would be fun but you'd have to live in the ocean which would get boring. Predator and Alien would be the most fun to work with but Alien would probably just end up building a hive and you have the same issue as with the Thing (and it would probably just lose to the Thing as soon as the Thing infects one xeno).

Based on this, objectively Predator is the best choice because while it might not beat the Thing 1v1, you'd have a blast fighting with it as an ally and it could always cuck out and call its spaceship.

>>82744002
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTJ4Cv5ktE

>>82744019
>aliens, predators and the thing show up
>shark has to protect a lone human
>it's just a typical monday morning for the shark

>>82744051
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzZQYF4wzQk

>>82744051
>it's a Shark must protect his food supply aka humanity against an extraterrestrial threat episode
>it's a the aliens team up and Shark must also team up with his food/humans to beat the aliens season finale

>>82731928
The Thing,
good luck trying to kill it.

>Jaws

>>82744015
>and it would probably just lose to the Thing as soon as the Thing infects one xeno
good thing that cant happen then

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>>82732029

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>Jaws 5 was suppose to be about the Ghost of the original Jaws possessing a human who goes around killing people on the island


really how the fuck is that even a jaws movie at this point?

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>>82732029

>>82731928
The Thing. Any other answer is grade a retardation.

>>82747051
That sounds fantastic.

Predator would fuck all three of them up in a heartbeat.

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The Thing, without a doubt.
But before the battle starts, I make it read Parasyte.

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A few things must be disclosed for a decision.

Is BFR allowed?
What is the location and start distance?
Films only, as depicted in OP picture? Or is it composite?

Assuming the location is Earth with maximum starting distance, BFR is allowed, and it's composite versions of each character listed.

The Thing curbs hard 10/10.

(composite = all iterations, canon and non-canon. comics/film)

>>82732029
SPBP

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FUN FACT: Spielberg wanted to come back and do a Jaws Sequel: but only if he could make Jaws the hero. He wanted to do a tale of redemption where Jaws saves some little kids from a boat sinking. He would team up with the kids and help them find their parents who got kidnapped by pirates

the studio felt it was way too different from the first jaws movie.

>>82739758
>Pig eats mushrooms
>Wolf eats pig
>Mushrooms eat wolf

>>82732029
This nigga is next level

>>82732338
wat
you might as well ride on a cheesegrater

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>>82742195

>injects eggs into mouth
>gestate in and burst out her uterus

>>82732029
This guy fucks.

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In all of these situations I find the predator to be the most useful, the entire idea behind the Thing being the most dangerous of the 4 is predicated on the fact it has other hosts to hide as

predator wouldn't care and would view another coming creature as a threat, since we don't know that the Thing can see the predator through his cloaking we have to give the Predator the advantage from an ambush and through technological means, that shoulder cannon would obliterate a Thing, not to mention he has a miniature nuke to vaporize the Thing

shark can't get on land

Predators kill xenos quite easily in all forms of media but there are the handful of situations where the opposite happens, but overall advantage predator

>>82732029
Deepest lore

>>82733986
where did the "alien will transform in to queen if no queens around" meme come from?

>>82733015
I honestly don't know man, but one of those things killed Steve Irwin, and he was like an animal god.

>>82735176
i think it's because they look like, dare i say it, "engineered". The layered scales makes them look like their design was intentional and not the result of creation. that adds a level of creepiness plus no eyes

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>>82732029

Hahahahaha How The Fuck Is Jaws Scary Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Ocean Like Nigga Don't Go Swimming Haha

>>82731928
Predator obviously

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>>82732029
Include me in the screen cap!

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>>82732029

So The Thing wins hands down。

But can The Thing defeat The Blob?

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>>82732029

>>82748497
didn't you know about women getting pregnant from BJs?

you fags are adding to many variables to the equation and faggot OP needs to make better rules to the game

>>82731928
Predator > Thing > Jaws = Alien

Jaws dies when killing the Alien

What about Godzilla? Is it cheating if I choose Godzilla?

>>82750942
The Thing only needs to touch Godzilla and that's it.

>>82732029
4D C H E S S
D C
C H
E E
S S
S S

>>82731928
No one is going to seriously pick Jaws and a single Xenomorph would be no match for a Predator or The Thing. The Thing is the most powerful but I would pick the Predator because I don't want humanity to be wiped out.

>>82749408
Some normal humans with flamethrowers and dynamite were able to beat The Thing CHILDS ISN'T THE THING so I'm pretty sure a Predator could beat it.

>>82732406
When did a xeno die to fire besides possibly the facehugger eggs in 2 which were also blasted with explosive rifle rounds, we don't even know if the fire would have harmed the facehugger inside if they were left to burn. Fire against a xeno, at best, gives you some breathing room between you and it but that's about it. The fire trap in Alien 3, while not correctly setup and used, didn't even harm the xeno while it killed lots of other human characters. It survived being dipped into molten metal, surely some flames wouldn't really do anymore more than piss it off.

>>82732029
Holy fucking shits

What a god

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>>82732449 >>82732982 >>82733461 >>82734389 >>82736941 >>82746683 >>82747115 >>82747913 >>82748210 >>82748768 >>82748838 >>82749035 >>82749148 >>82749232 >>82749817 >>82751062 >>82753489


Fucking faggots.

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>>82753531
>can't quote properly
>calls others reddit
nice try

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>>82737182

>>82732184
jaws is the best answer if youre on a boat

>>82753605
>not pressing enter after each quote means you're not quoting properly

Fucking faggot.

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>>82753605

how

do

you

like

my

spacing

?

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>>82753820
>not just clicking the post number like everyone else does
you gotta go back

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If it's the ps2 jaws unleashed jaws that hurls exploding barrels long distances then the choice is obvious.

>>82753902
That would take way longer than just copy pasting the replies the post had.

You're a special kind of retard, aren't you?

>>82753954
Aliens and predator can dodge.
>>82753807
Jaws still wouldn't be able to help you unless he sunk the boat.
>>82749093
Predator can handle the xeno and jaws but how does he kill the thing? He doesn't have a flamethrower and will be assimilated on contact.