ITT: Times you acted like the driver.

>>82729105
All the time

>be asked question
>don't answer, just try to look stoic slightly smiling

Doesn't have the effect I want though, usually pressured into answering after they repeat the question louder

>>82729105
I pretend to be him every time I drive at night

>>82729105
Tall tales: the thread.

>>82729105
I make awkward, sporadic comments to cute grills all the time that seem to like me. If they have a baby, I give it a toothpic.

>>82729273
Fucking lol

>>82729273
Thats when I tell them to shut it or their teeth are going down the back of their throat

>>82729105
I listen to the soundtrack...Just saving up the money for a car...I like driving and listen to music.

>drive ost starts playing
>hand inside jacket pocket
feelsgoodmang.rar

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>>82729105
Lmao all of my junior year of high school
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-r29uafA7c
Even now I still love drive, seen it about 13-14 times already.

>>82729813
after watching it recently I started to think so, although it was my first time watching it stoned, and liked I said before about my 14th time seeing it.
>>82729761
yisss
>>82729749
soon
>>82729703
that ended pretty stupidly for me back in H.S.
not really a crazy story but I'll say it if you guys want
>>82729654
a tootypic' for da lil drivahs
>>82729291
if anyone calls this guy cringey I'll smack ur nutsack
>>82729380
6ft tall the thread
>>82729273
same

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mT08yzbC-s8

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>>82729105
>everyone wanting to be the driver
>not patrick bateman

>>82730393
Honestly possibly one of my second favorite movies desu

When I took vengeance on the hot girls sorority by killing three Asian male students

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>>82730393
>wanting to be patrick bateman's limo driver

>>82729105
My best friend in junior high school WAS the driver.
>'72 Dodge Challenger
>driving gloves
>members only
>toothpick
>aviators
>blondie & judas priest
>quoted Silvester Stallone

>>82729105
I kissed an Italian guy before putting the boots to a mousy blonde on an elevator once.

>>82730485
They were his roommates, they probably started it.

>>82730878
They probably made fun of him.

>>82730485
Was he /ourguy/?

>>82730393
I already am

>pull into 24 service station late at night
>on the way back from family dinner, so wearing nice suit jacket, shirt and desert boots
>come in in 4th gear, but stop perfectly beside pump
>put 30.00 exactly in my car in one go
>go inside to pay
>decide to pick up some milk for the morning
>have the cost of everything worked out in my head
>get exact change ready in hand while in line
>put unlit cigarette in mouth
>my turn at register comes
>stare at cashier
>she seems unnerved
>nod in direction of my car and at the same time wave my own milk in front of barcode scanner
>leave exact change down on counter without saying a word and immediately turn around and walk away
>light cigarette as i'm going out door
>get in car and speed out onto the road in third gear without looking
Really glad nothing hit me. Would've ruined the effect.

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>>82731111

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>>82731115

>>82729105
I drive to a Clippers game and just walk out instead.

>be me
>a little socially awkward, not ugly, but have trouble keeping conversations interesting
>watch "Drive" and decide i'm going to change my life
>I will become the driver
>buy solid color henley t shirts, a jean jacket, and skinny jeans
>start college next month
>meet roommate at move in day
>"hey anon, i'm stephen, its nice to meet you"
>want to respond but remember i have a new image now
>look directly at him
>letting the silence hang in the air, counting to 10 in my head
>"hey"
>he seemed a little off put but at least im not the one feeling uncomfortable for once

>one week later
>roommate asks if i want to go to a rush party with him, and these two girls he met the night before
>"ok"
>"great, but it's off campus, do you know anyone who could drive us?"
>get really excited... but remember to count to ten first
>.....
>"I drive"
>"ok, thanks bro, it'll be worth it when you see these girls. they are smoking hot. and i've been talking you up to one of them."
>i begin to get nervous, because i've never had much success with girls.
>I think about how driver would handle the situation
>say as little as possible
>be mysterious
>be in control

>>82731207
>on our way to pick up the girls
>I decide tonights the night i bust out my driving gloves, and my roommate notices
>"cool gloves anon"
>i nod and slip in a toothpick

>pull up to the girls house
>roommate gets out to get them
>"you've got a five minute window, anything happens inside that five minutes, im yours. anything happens outside of that and your on your own. understand?"
>this is probably the single longest thing i've said to him at this point, he seems surprised
>"uh.. sure.. it wont take long"
>i take off my watch and put it on the steering wheel

>>82731207
>i've been talking you up to one of them
"I dunno, I think he's slow or something, but he seems okay"

>>82731265
>the girls get to the car and he wasn't lying, they were super hot. they were also super drunk already
>"wow stephen, you werent lying about him, he's a cute one"
>i begin to get a little nervous. my hands are sweaty as fuck from my gloves, and im wearing my quilted racing jacket (no scorpion) over my jean jacket
>remember the driver doesn't have to respond to social cues
>meet them with silence
>stephen begins to look nervous for me
>".....what's the job?"
>"uhh... the party is a few miles away... thanks again for driving"
>turn on my cb police scanner and pull out of the driveway

>>82730087
nothing you said here was of any substance, your jokes are shit, and you should kill yourself you fucking moronic tripfag fuck, bend your car around a tree you fucking unfunny piece of waste.

>>82731303
>the girls are now really getting into it
>they think im pretty cool, the strong silent thing is working
>girl in the backseat is touching my chest from behind
>"youre really quiet *giggle* i can't wait to loosen you up a little tonight..." she winks
>im panicking now, social anxiety is setting in
>decide to show off a little, take some turns at high speeds
>"holy shit anon SLOW DOWN" stephen yells
>but the girls are liking it, laughing as they are thrown around the back seat.
>decide i'm going to cuck my roommate as the driver,
>but i need more time to show off my driving skills, and the trip is almost over
>"you wanna see somethin?"
>the girls are confused but too drunk to really respond affirmatively
>take the scenic route

>>82731346
>about 20 minutes later and it's pretty clear i've gotten us lost
>roommate is silently fuming
>"anon, where the fuck are we. we should've been there fifteen minutes ago"
>silent
>the girls are quiet now too
>the only sound is Tick of the Clock by Chromatics playing on repeat, over my police scanner, as it has for the entire trip
>...."you don't need to know the route"
>roommate is pissed and begins looking up directions on his phone
>one of the girls has to pee, she asks to pull over
>i say the five minutes line again, i didn't know what else to say
>my roommate by now has decided i am an autist
>girls step out of the car, roommate does too
>I stay in the car, but i hear them all laughing.
>I think they are probably laughing at me
>grip my steering wheel and floor it, tires screeching
>hear my roommate yell "WHAT THE FUCK ANON"
>go back to the dorm and begin filling out roommate transfer request

>>82731303
I know this is made up, but you better actually be going somewhere with this. Ending it with "but none of this actually happened and I'm really all alone and sad" is unoriginal and shit.

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>>82729105
wow this is the cringiest thread on /tv/ ever. goos shit sperglords.

>>82730087
Why is there always some retard who feels the need to reply to everyone?

>>82731346
>decide i'm going to cuck my roommate as the driver,
>but i need more time to show off my driving skills
Found your mistake.

You've clearly never seen Drive. He spends very little of that movie actually driving. There's far more to being the Driver than driving.

>>82731325
damn
>>82731455
daniel

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>tfw too autistic to drive

>put on my jacket and gloves
>go to the mall
>sit down in food court
>see chad, tyrone, becky, and stacy
>when chad and tyrone leave to get refills, i walk up to the girls
>offer them a toothpick
>'uhh, no thanks'
>stare at them, can't think of anything to say
>chad and tyrone come back
>kiss stacy and try to punch chad
>i missed and the two of them beat me up
>run away and call mom to pick me up

>>82731418
t. albert brooks

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>>82731418
cucky crybabby prob loved man of steel x passion of the christ boxset series, prob even faps to the Zack Snyder+Mel Gibson shitposttarry where they talk about all the funny innuendos

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>dressed perfectly Goslingesque (all my NEETbux go into that style)
>always walk with one hand in pocket
>10000 yard stare
>toothpicks always near my body
>always maintaining good posture is fucking brutal but pays off
>always stare at girls and give them the Gosling Smile that I perfected
>they always give me this "I want to suck your dick look"
>always have to reject them because otherwise they might find out I drive a shitbox
>and that I live with my parents, am 28yo and unemployed and actually a Kissless Virgin

>>82732093
good job on the posture

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>>82731325
Not that fag, but you are so triggered...lmao. Seriously go to >>>>/pol/.

>>82733748
>you are so triggered...lmao

lol get fucked you autistic retard

>>82729273
I actually do this all the time and it makes people really allured to me. I started doing it to keep people from annoying me (mostly in college when I often wanted to read or shitpost during my breaks but often got approached by other students), but it has the opposite effect.
For some reason, people really how stoic I can be. I give sardonic smiles as a response to stupid questions pretty often and it just makes people realize how dumb their question was, or how rhetorical it was.

Perhaps I have autism.

>>82731115
..............................................................................................................................................................................cool.............................................................................................................................

>>82733748
Not even in this thread but that guy was right and you're a fag newton.

>>82734517
Yeah, you have autism. You're misinterpreting people's reactions, they're definitely weirded out by it.

>>82735575
cucko

>>82729105
This guy at work kept talking to me and annoying me so I just ignored him like a deaf mute

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>>82730536
>not being both

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>>82733748
>not that guy
>actually i am that guy
who else /devilish/ here?

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>>82729105
How i can successful like act like driver being a girl? Is that even possible? i always end up locking like a bich or autistic.

>>82731379
I laff thanks ano

>>82729105
>about to enter my new apartment
>cute new next door neighbor exits her place
>she says "Hi, I'm Lisa. Did you just move in?"
>I maintain eye contact and a cool smirk, but say nothing for ten seconds
>I nod, then say "hey."
>fumble with my keys and run inside my apartment
>I think it went well

>>82736401
the only way i can think girldriver could work is just being mysterious, not stoic. and not like leaving out details mysterious, but here one minute gone the next mysterious.

>>82736401
>Drivette
>You have a 5 minute window, in that window I'm cool. either side of that and I'm gonna be kinda bitchy. Get me something when you're in there ok? I don't know just something
>Sorry my nails still aren't dry
>The Drivette steals some poor woman's man leaving her to raise her baby alone.

This is a very different movie

>>82729105
Literally every day minus the driving and having sex with moms

>"seeing" girl
>at pub on Friday night with mates, introduced to different girl, go home and fuck that night
>next day get a call from girl I'm seeing, says she's coming over to talk
>the girl from night before bullied other girl in HS
>she's in hysterics that her HS bully 'stole' her man
>indifferent to situation because she's a bit of a dog
>blank expression the entire conversation
>lifts her face out of her hands and sees I have no face, starts crying even harder saying "you dont even care"
>start smirking at how sad the situation is
>she's going ape shit, just get out of car without saying anything and walk back inside and text her telling her to leave soon
>I am the driver

>get to cash register
>Cashier tells me to have a good day
>Stare at her and say
>"...yes"
>Walk away while staring at the floor

>>82731379
>go back to the dorm and begin filling out roommate transfer request
This line had me going for a good laugh. You were going pretty good there for a bit

>>82736669
>go to flower shop, because real men buy real flowers
>owner says "Hi, you're my favorite customer!"
>I stare at her, smile, "thanks. Y-you too."
>pay for my flowers, throw them in the trash as I exit
>drive off

has Drive become an iconic film in the real world or does the cult following mainly exist on autistic sites like 4chan and reddit?

>>82736760
>Keep the paper bouquet and give it to my female neighbour
>She laughs and asks me what happened to the flowers
>"They died"
>Walk away and take the stairs to my apartment

>>82731111
checked

>>82731111
You don't get to bring quads

>>82729105
>i drive

Only works if you are attractive and confident.

>>82731115
i'd suck your dick anon

>>82737058
No. Only "works" if you're autistic.

>having a bad day
>qt girl i was getting friendly with already has a longterm bf
>dont really get upset easy
>dont know how to deal with it
>go to grab a bite at this cheap comfort-food diner
>start eating
>dude walks up to me, saying he knows me, describing how we met
>not in the mood, just trying to eat my food and ignore him
>he doesnt get the message because im normally quiet anyway
>he keeps going on and on, oblivious
>i finally snap and threaten him
>it comes out awkward and embarrassing and not in the least bit intimidating
>but its weird enough to make him leave
>great now i'm gonna be replaying THAT in my head too
>resume gorging myself

i'm the driver

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>>82736616

I work at a college bar. Almost every interaction I have with people is stylized after there driver because I don't want to be bothered by people. I just want to serve drinks and get paid. If you act like the the Goose, people don't thin of you as rude but they don't find you interesting and they don't get the impression you find them interesting. Works well imo.

>>82738288
>I bar

>>82736660
No, you actually just get off on being a dick. If you were the driver you would of at least conveyed that you wanted to care by not smirking.

I don't have any reason to believe you're a bad person but I do think you handled that situation poorly. Indifference to someone else's pain is different than pleasure. Driver is indifferent.

>>82738448
nah dude dont you remember that part where irene lost standard and is crying and driver smirks and she slaps him

or the part where he grabs her and kisses her and then gives her a meaningful look before stomping a guy's head in and once he's done he looks up and hes smiling and expecting kudos and irene runs away in fear and he rolls his eyes and just stands there in his personal bliss for another moment

>>82731115
>light cigarette as i'm going out door
>in a service station
Are you one of Zoolander's friends?

>>82729105
>12th grade sitting in math class unironically have a toothpick in my mouth
>see QT 3.14 staring at for having toothpick in mouth
>look at her for a solid 5 seconds and she looks away
>since we're feet away from each other I tell her she blinked
>she says "What?"
>I ignore her while doing the driver smile with nightcall blasting away in my earphones
That was one of my best highlights

>>82731325
>you fucking moronic tripfag fuck, bend your car around a tree you fucking unfunny piece of waste.
But anon, that was equinox. This guy better wreck his car in a different way.

>>82730087
Holy fuck, fuck off tripfag.

>>82730393
The two artists I listen to the most while driving are Phil Collins and Huey Lewis and the News

>>82730087
This kind of shit is welcome on /mlp/, /vg/ksg and gay furry threads on /b/ but not anywhere else

Keep it that way you massive faggot

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>>82731111

Sorta driver esque
>Walk past grill I vaguely know
>forget her name
>she asks me if I forgot her name
>"of course not"
>Smirk and walk off
>tfw no gf

>>82738448
>t. person who has never seen drive

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>>82741079
>Meeting a new person
>"Hey, I am Anon."
>"I am-" stop listening you him

>>82741265
to him*

>just started university
>having spent the last 5 years in my room, social interaction is unfamiliar
>tutorial ends, walking out of class
>thicc 18 year old girl comes chasing after me
>small talk ensues, but then
>"so do you have any cigarettes?"
>by the powers of goose I cast you aside
>let out a small chortle, smirk and increase walking speed 50% to out pace her
>doesnt occur to me until later that I essentially laughed at her and ran away without saying anything
>every day is now exponetionally more awkward than the last

>>82730393
I want to be the driver but my lack of feelings save for disgust towards my fellow man, my growing homicidal tendencies and my impeccable haircut and skin makes me much closer to Patrick Bateman.

>>82741332
>nah I don.t smoke.... thinking of picking it up now *winks*

You had an opening you fucking faggot

>>82741470
I stopped myself from telling her they were at home and that she could come get one after uni, did I fucked up?>>82741470

>>82729105
>cute girl smiles at me
>look away

>>82741513
Not with that one you didn't. Jesus Christ, you don't tell a girl you barely know 'Hey come to my place, let's fuck'.

>>82741332
you did good anon. Driver is a pure man who lets no pollutants in his body. Keep yourself from such temptations.

>>82741556
See this is too hard, too many variables

>>82741622
How awkward are you around people anon?