>KILL IT BILL

what a LOVELY dog

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>Nia I've been offered a role on Better Call Saul, can you believe it? This is great, I -
>NO! You have a daughter, Bill! Jesus! Face your responsibilities!
>What? Nia, think about the money from it. Remember the Breaking Bad money?
>NO! YOU ARE GOING TO BE A GOOD FATHER TO OUR CHILD. YOU'RE NOT GOING OUT DRINKING AGAIN
>Nia this is work! This is how I make our money!
>KILL THE DOG BILL

Itt: virgins who don't realize that they love each other and can't understand their banter

>>82685232
>retard who doesn't understand the context of the posts
>he doesn't know that Nia went and got a dog on a whim behind Bill's back while Bill was working, after Bill specifically told her not to get one, chose to get a dangerous breed from the pound instead of getting a safer breed from a more reasonable place, allowed Bill to deeply bond with said dog, and then forced him to abandon/kill the dog in order to make way for their mixed-race baby
>DUDE IT'S JUST THEIR BANTER

okay Nia

>ooh, better be very quiet when nia gets home from the club, don't want to run her Saturday night
>Don't want to make her angry, she gets a little rough when she drinks
>She's walking in now, pls Lord not today
>SKIN THE FUCKING DOG BILL

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>>82685408

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>wife adopts a shit-tier dog without consulting husband
>husband initially hates the idea of a pitbull in his house and rejects it
>comes to love the dog anyway over time
>wife agrees to have a kid with you
>have to get rid of the dog she got without your permission in the first place
I think Cleo was just a test run by Nia to see if Bill was capable of handling a mulatto terror

This thread is already funnier than Bill's newest special was

>>82685232
>valentine's day
>take Nia to expensive $400 sushi dinner
>Colin Farrell walks in
>she can't stop staring at him the whole night
>call her out in the privacy of a taxi
>she makes you sleep on the couch after you literally banked your career on never sleeping on the couch
>tell her she's acting like a cunt
>get repeatedly punched in the face and told it's because of your own actions

>>82685147
Has he actually talked about getting offered a role on BCS? I haven't listened to the past few weeks of Monday Morning Podcast

>>82685843
Nah, but now-skinny Huell reprised his role last episode, so it's not inconceivable that Bill was originally offered that role and was forced to turn it down because Nia doesn't allow him to fulfil his dreams unless his daily Cleo-killing quota has been hit.

>end up accidentally listening to a podcast where Nia is in it
>expect her to sound like some demon deep-voiced sounding fucker
>she sounds young but not that young
>they start to argue
>tfw you're literally listening to a couple argue when you just wanted to hear someone rant about nothing

Fuck man, experiencing DIGITAL third wheel is just as awkward and shitty as it is in person.

>>82686063
you didn't notice the uppity liberal vocal fry?

>>82686063
>>82686098

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEqVgtLQ7qM

What a fucking cuck.

>>82686115
Thank you, I didn't know what >>82686098 meant by that but yeah I definitely noticed it. Didn't even know there was a term for it.

>>82686063
>Listen to podcast
>Bill starts reading off the advertisements
>Skip forward a bit
>ME UNDIES ME UND-
>Skip forward a bit
>DOLLLAH SHAVE CLUB EVERYB-
>Skip forward a bit
>Bill is mumbling incoherently for twenty minutes about sports
>Skip forward a bit
>Oh hey, it's the lovely Nia. Grab a seat and put on a mic
>Skip forward a bit
>Cleo is barking in the background, Nia is screaming "kill it Bill, kill the fucking dog, I deserve a coat"
>Skip forward a bit
>Bill is audibly struggling to read fan emails and then giving horrible relationship advice

>>82686359
>Bill, my girlfriend physically abuses me, what should I do?

>You have to respect yourself enough to not be with someone like that
>Break up, work on yourself, hit the gym, talk to some decent laaaydies

Meanwhile:

>Nia please don't hit me again, I know I've been a bad boy for calling my mom and asking you to order take-out for us while you were trying to watch the real housewives
>ouch NIa, stop, I'll be good I swear

>fuck white people for being ambitious and shit

She made him kill the dog? I thought she just made him give it to a friend!