/tv/ BTFO

Mary Sue

>>82647768
>old ben's daughter
>despite the fact he died 10 or so years before she was born and lived a celebate life

>>82647768

Requesting the gif of her btfo of weaklets with a 120kg deadlift

>>82648031
(You)

>>82647768
Is this real?

>>82648031
>lived a celibate life
Was that anywhere established in the OT?

No one, including Disney, gives a shit about the prequels.

>>82647768
>kenobi had a secret lover as a hermit that dedicated his entire life to the force and protecting luke in the middle of bum fuck nowhere.

This is retarded.

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>>82648031
>Daughter
>Not GRANDDAUGHTER

It pains me to have to dredge lore from the prequels, but at least Clone Wars isn't shit like the rest of that eras stuff.

First off, Kenobi's estranged lover, who he couldn't be with.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Duchess_of_Mandalore

Secondly, Korkie Kryze, "nephew" of the Dutchess of Mandalore, who's parents are never seen in the show. He is also just about the right age given the timeline of clone wars to be Ben and the Dutchess's love child.

http://www.starwars.com/databank/korkie-kryze

Korkie could've bones someone and, poof, you have Rey complete with the same accent.

i don't give a FUCK

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>>82648211
See Both the Clone Wars TV series (where Ben had a secret relationship with the Dutchess of Mandalore) plus my other post >>82648248

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Reminder: Ben fucked this smirk.

lel, what a fucking joke.

>>82648255
>>82648383
Damage control reverse shitposting from studios PR?

Does Fandango have knowledge of the inner workings of Disney?

>>82647768
No that's just a fake name like Han Solo

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Nice photoshop, here's your (You)

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>>82648507
Photoshop or no, there is a precedent in the lore.

Still no explaining that disney.com toy naming snaffu, however.

>>82648248
>>82648311
But that doesn't explain why her lastname is Kenobi. It would be Kryze if that was the case. And he never tells who his dad is.
This would also mean Disney even cares about Clone Wars or Rebels. Their only impact was a cameo ship appearance and a name drop in a shitty spin off.

>>82648031
he jizzed onto the midichlorians

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>>82648166
Of course not.

The truth is that Rey IS a Skywalker. But how? Who's her father? Qui Gon fucked Shmi. Unlike Obi Wan, Qui Gon don't give a fuck about the rules. Rey is a new branch on the Skywalker family tree.

>>82648683
And by "father" I meant grandfather.

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>>82648624
>>82648624
>But that doesn't explain why her lastname is Kenobi.

Because the last name Kryze is a lie/cover, if Kryze is actually Kenobi's son.

>And he never tells who his dad is.
Because he doesn't know. Also his "aunt" dies before telling him.

>This would also mean Disney even cares about Clone Wars or Rebels.

Anon....they incorporated parts of Clone Wars into Rebels, and then went on to incorporate parts of Rebels into Rogue One.

Disney not only cares, but is pushing for it.

>>82648683
That makes Kylo and Rey related though.
Way too much Pottery.

They also named Finn "Calrissian".
They are trolling you, autistic fucks.

I hope Rey's related to Palpatine

you stupid rednecks her name is rey MIXER, and you know why

>MUH LORE

There is no lore anymore for Star Wars since Disney took it over. They erased all EU and all Canon and are making shit up as they go along. Typical Jew-shit, rewriting history. They can't help themselves.

>>82648910
Race Mixer?

Be more subtle, anon.

>>82648910
shoula been smichser or something less obvious

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This why she's a fucking pro star at literally everything, bitch got Jinn + Skywalker force running through her.

>>82648248
>Implying he didn't slip the old kenobi baloney into the sexy redheaded sister on the sly.

>>82648886
The lightsaber fighting was similar to palpatine's, and there were voice clips of him during her visions or hallucinations.

>>82648910
Cause the kid Shmi and qui Gon had was a female, who married a dude and took his last name, who had Rey and left her on the planet to keep her safe from the Knights hunting down Jedi?

>>82648910
>>82648942
>>82648980
>>82649039
>Rey C. Burner.

http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1494423467324.webm

>>82649032
Some kind of Sith alchemy baby or something using from Palpatines blood

>>82647768
Rey Streyter

>>82649032
The voice clips were from events that occurred where the blue lightsaber was present.

>>82648031

>implying there won't be some b.s. force-involved explanation

>>82647768
I thought it was heavily implied that Rey and Ren were Han and Laia's daughter?

>>82649195
Interesting. I thought that the film was boring, but I like that they seem to be adding more "poetic magic" back into star wars.

>>82647768
She is obviosly Luke's kid. Thats why kylo knows her. Thats why she knows how to use light sabers. She was part of the jedi school until kylo went anakin on the younglings.

This is so amazingly obvious but no one on /tv/wants to beleive it.

>>82647768
Rey is Luke and Leia's mutant incenst daughter.

screencap this

>>82647768
3/10 shoop

to to at least match the font next time

>>82649260
Yeah, you know all that crap about how the lightsaber crystal chooses the Jedi and all that? I think it plays off that concept, as Rey was holding that blue lightsaber at the time, so it could be like that lightsabers "memories" of events with Anakin and Luke.

For some reason I thought Kenobi was Luke's last name. I guess I'm not a star wars geek.

>>82648031
You know granddaughters are a thing

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>>82648248
>implying clone wars and rebels shit will EVER make it into the films besides a couple of offhand nods

It's only """canon""" for marketing purposes, the show contradicts the films on multiple occasions

do you really think they're going to expect normal people to have watched the cartoon for babies to explain the origins of the new protagonist?

>>82648108
there's no way it was 120kg, the bumpers are different sizes

either way any guy who cant do that should promptly kill themselves

>>82647768
That's it, I'm out.

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>>82650203
Yep, the only "canon" now is whatever the mouse says is canon.

>do you really think they're going to expect normal people to have watched the cartoon for babies to explain the origins of the new protagonist?
I'm the anon who threw the qui gon theory out there, just as a bit of a troll for lulz. But what you said makes me think that it's a stronger theory simply because it's based off the films, not a cartoon.

So is the Obi-Wan spin-off movies is going to be all about Ewan McGregor chasing tail around a galaxy far, far away?

>>82647768
Star Wars was a mistake

wasn't obi wan a virgin?

>>82650659
Says who?

>>82649066
How butthurt do you have to be to animate something like that?

>>82650823
i thought it was cool