The cinema bouncers come up to you and say "were going to have to escort you out, as we have a strict no singles policy"
What do you do?
>Heh, you thought I was single? See that couple over there? That's my wife and his bull. I just went to get popcorn for them.
I submit myself for handcuffing and escorting out
Meh, I could probably take them.
Why the fuck did they let me in in the first place? Let me enjoy the movie dumbasses.
Try to bribe them with crab legs
>>82640533
Ask one to marry me?
>crossboarding
cancer in its purest form
>>82640533
Show them my anvil wife they proceed to apologize and give me free popcorn in my next trip to this kinoplex.
>>82640533
oh that's how it is uh?
*unzips their pants*
>>82640533
Eviscerate them with crab legs
>>82640533
Hi billy, havenĀ“t seen you posting on /fit/ in a minute. Ran out of roids?
say that i've been hired to fill out the manlet pit.
B-b-but I know Sam and Casey
>>82640533
Remind them that I'm literally their only customer, and if they kick me out they won't get any customers at all.
>>82640533
>too lazy to shoop the sign which clearly states that this is a rap concert and not a kinoplex
How the fuck did I end up in the UK?
>>82641566
I'll just dive into the theater lake until they stop looking for me
>>82640533
Remind them we're in England and no such policy exists.
What the fuck is wrong with america? When did you all trade in your dicks for pussies?
>>82641756
Because Chad and Stacy don't want to see the kind of singles that go to the theater, and (((Pepsi Co))) likes having a monopoly on what gets consumed at the theater.
>>82641756
>not being creeped out by soloers
JUST