What does /tv/ thinks of Eragon?

>>82587452
it's dragon kino

>>82587452
Better than the books. The books were literally a rip-off of Star Wars in a fantasy setting and were only published because the kid's parents owned a publishing company. The kid then went on to become a douche who got to write the preface to a release of the Once and Future King for some reason.

The movie itself was still shit but if you've ever read the books you know how badly written and how pretentious they are

>>82587452
Its shit just like the books, it's astounds me that either was made popular at all

>>82587452
The movie was so bad they couldn't make a sequel based on the second book because of all the changing.

absolutely abysmal, I remember watching it as a kid and thinking it was the worst shit ever, and I enjoyed the book, sort of

>>82587452
>you'll never get your shitty book published by your parents and get rich off of it

It still bothers me that they misspelled "dragon."

Mediocre movie for an average book series. I'll be damned if I don't fucking love dragons, though, so it gets a pass from me. Dragonriders of Pern is pure literary kino.

>>82587452
One of my favorite Star Wars movies.

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>>82587452
This is what I think about Eragon:

*Ardwen - Arwen
*Isenstar - Isengard
*Mithrim - Mithrim or mithril
*Angrenost - Angrenost
*Morgothal - Morgoth
*Elessari - Elessar
*Furnost - Fornost
*Hadarac Desert - Harad Desert
*Melian - Melian
*Vanilor - Valinor
*Eridor - Eriador
*Imiladris - Imladris
*Undin - Fundin/Udun
*Gil'ead - Gil'Galad
*Ceranthor - Caranthir
*Isidar - Isiludir
*Eragon - Aragorn

>>82589817
>average book series
>average

What fucking books have you been reading you mong.

>>82589817

>Dragonriders of Pern

Holy shit dude I hadn't thought about this series in years, thanks for flooding my mind with all those comfy memories

>>82589886
>t. Game of thrones fan
Im

>>82589853
jesus really?

How did this kid and his publisher not get sued to death

I actually threatened to kill myself when my parents wouldn't take me to see it the day it came out. I cried in my room too.

That being said, I loved the first two books to the point where I bought the DVD, played the ps2 game, and had a poster on my wall. Looking back, I don't regret it but it was kind of weird.

I should have killed myself tbqh tho

>>82589853
wow, i knew he ripped off LOTR, but i already forgot most about the eragon books, before i started reading lotr/silmarillion. I never realized just how much he ripped off

i found the idea of magic completely tied to this ancient language and everything you do with magic, being as taxing as if you would have done it by hand, to be interesting concepts though (that's almost all i remember other than him becoming vegetarian, him becoming better at killing once he learns human/orc anatomy and his cousin being a badass)

>>82589970
No, come on now. What shit are you reading that an autistic manchild's uninspired LotR/Star Wars fanfiction could possibly be considered "average."

And you all know that Tortellini wasn't 15 when he wrote his literary abortion, right? He was 15 when he "imagined" it. He actually started writing the damn thing when he was 18. He was about 30 when he finished the books. But all the way up to the fourth one the book was being pushed as the work of a child prodigy.

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>>82590068
>i found the idea of magic completely tied to this ancient language and everything you do with magic, being as taxing as if you would have done it by hand, to be interesting concepts though

Then it shouldn't surprise you that he 100% ripped that off from the Wizard of Earthsea novels.

>>82590114
are they good? i just saw the (tv) movie and it was utter shit

>>82590183
They're classics. Like many classics they've been subjected to many abuses.

>>82590013
His parents were the publishers.

The sword designs from the movie were cool, and that's all I can say good about it.

And Eragon's brother was the best part of the books.

>>82590259
I don't know if they were publishers by profession but they were wealthy enough to self-publish their spoiled autistic son's fanfiction.

I hope they paid Jeremy irons a lot

>Critics Consensus: Written by a teenager (and it shows), Eragon presents nothing new to the "hero's journey" story archetype. In movie terms, this movie looks and sounds like Lord of the Rings and plays out like a bad Star Wars rip-off. The movie spins the tale of a peasant boy who is suddenly entrusted with a dragon and must, with the help of a mentor, train, grow strong, and defeat an evil emperor. The way the critics picture it, the makers of Eragon should soon be expecting an annoyed phone call from George Lucas.

kek

>>82590298
That gives fanfiction a bad name, at least remember to mention that it's self insert shit.
Also his sister was the basis for the witch, Angela.
And he put his buddy's fursona in the second book, I think.
And a poem about Doctor Who.

Not good movie but they filmed parts of it in my country. One scene was filmed only few miles from my house.

>>82590426
>And he put his buddy's fursona in the second book, I think.

Or it's his fursona. Anyway yeah, his Elves can use magic to give them humanoid animal bodies and there's this one blue-furred fox-elf guy that all the female characters feel awkward being around because he emits a musk which makes them horny.

I swear I am not making any of that up.

>>82590506
wh...what?
i read until the second book, but i don't remember that shit
but i didn't have any radar for such weird shit back then..

>>82590686
I think it was in the yellow brick, not the red brick.

>Eragon and Arya never even fuck at the end

What a cocktease

>>82591748
I remember reading the first 3 books like 13 years ago. Does nothing really happen? That's fucking retarded, all I remember is he gets turned basically into an elf and becomes super OP

>>82591907
In the fourth book they become super close and the farthest they get is becoming good friends, but nothing romantic ever happens. I think it mentions Arya finding him way too young and that it wouldn't happen anytime soon. So much for 'le epic romance' that was prophesized in the first book

>>82587640
Everything in this post is correct

>>82589400
>>82587640
This is some serious jelousy, the books made so much money no matter if the parents funded it.
He's objectively a very succesful author, who had lots of people enjoying his book.
Maybe a 15 y/o boy understands the mind of a 10 y/o boy better.

>>82591987
he fucks his dragon though

>>82592274
No, the dude should have been sued for Plagarism, he nearly ripped off Eddings word for word.

>>82592361
That's a moot point, no one sued him and neither of us are lawyers, so our opinions don't really matter.
He made AYLOT of money, as a 15 year old author. FACT

>>82592427
And those people weren't denying that. They were saying the books were shit and that he was copying from other authors, and that the only reason he was even published was because his dad. And it's all true.

Twilight was also very successful. That doesn't mean it was good writing, or that the girl was a good author.

>>82587640
The movies had to change a lot from the books because they realized while filming that the story was star wars, and that everything else (including the character names) was a LoTR ripoff. And the studio didn't want to get sued. I'm sure someone got fired over that movie.

>>82592483
If you make millions of dollars doing a job, you're good at your job.
Being an author is a job, so they are both good authors.
Just because the books were made for brainlets doesn't mean they were bad, they seem to have captured something about the audience other authors couldn't.

They are bad books.
FOR YOU

>>82592274
>he fucks his dragon though
Fucking hell, glad I gave up after the second.

>>82592549
>If you make millions of dollars doing a job, you're good at your job.
This is false on so many levels. There have been countless cases of people being paid fuckloads of money for a job, only to be royally terrible at said job.
>so they are both good authors.
No, they're not. Objectively at that. I can prove how they're bad at their job easy.

>>82592586
Ok show your proof aspie

If you get paid after you do the job and it's up to your employer (the audience) to decide how much you get paid, I'm pretty sure getting paid a lot means you're objectively good at your job.

>>82592627
In Meyers case she suffered from "tell but not showing" This is considered terrible form in writing. She would constantly tell the reader one thing, then show the opposite. She'd tell you have Bella was smart, and had a good head on her shoulders, and then show Bella doing some of the dumbest shit around.

When it comes to Paolini. The simple fact that he had to plagiarize from other authors shows that he himself isn't a talented author. There is a difference between "paying homage" and outright stealing.

>>82592274
>he fucks his dragon though
i don't believe it..
actual sex, or just some kind of weird mental link/astral sex?

>>82592675
So if you changed all the names of a good book to "Aragorn" or "Gil'ead" that would make the book bad?
What a meme critizism

>>82592993
No penetration but he carresses her vaginal lips

I actually got my mom to buy me the first book many years ago because people I knew told me it was the tits and due to marketing it was everywhere.
I absolutely hated the book and the film which one of my friends made me watch while my friends loved it, and it wasn't until this thread that I found out it wasn't universally acclaimed. Seriously, because my friends adored the series so much (although they stopped talking about it around the time the third book came out) I thought it was some respected classic for years.
those same friends rec'd me Twilight when it came out and described it as something like that shitty Underworld movie, but I was already to old to fall for their shit by then

Someone please list all the embarrassing things/lies about this series.

>>82587452
Horrible movie that managed to be even worse than the embarrassingly bad source material

>>82593638
By the way I did fall for the Darren Shan meme, but I quit after the first trilogy.

>>82593681
>Darren Shan
Only the dead can know peace from this evil.

>>82587452
It's like dragon, only you go one letter down and replace the d with an e

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>>82593681
>>82593761
>Darren Shan
Looks like a lite version of /ourguy/ Dan

If anyone gonna read Eragon this is the best way to do it
http://eragon-sporkings.wikia.com/wiki/Eragon_Sporkings

>>82593796
He was a fucking weirdo who wrote gorefests for children starring a self insert (named Darren Shan) who got every supernatural power imaginable and hooked up with every monster waifu. He also claims everything is real at the start of the first book.

I never bothered to read Demonata so I can't comment on that.