>tfw not witty why didn't he have a funny qwip ready?

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>I know you are but what am I?

>>82566605
He didn't have room to talk.

the best comeback would be if he just started screaming until he passed out

He didn't need one because at the end of the day he's going home on his yacht full of whores while she goes back to her one bedroom apartment to eat cup noodles

>>82566605
>kind of like you did in WWII?

just hide your face and bear it

>What you guys want the only one in the room who doesn't have aids to get out so I don't catch it from you degenerate faggots? that's so sweet thank you.... cunt

it must suck being a millionaire but limp-dick fat fuck who probably cant mantain erections for too long

'There are millions of you, there's only one of me'

>about to commit suicide
>helium tank, gas mask assembly complete
>put on mask
>turn on tank
>lay down face up on bed
>close eyes
>mum opens door
>"ANON WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING"
>take off gas mask
>prepare the most dramatic speech that will make her cry for sure
>deep breath
>attempt to begin speech, forget that there's helium in lungs
>the words "you'll never understand my pain" come out in the squeakiest, queerest chipmunk voice
>she fucking starts laughing

>>82566910
>r/4chan up in this shit
I hope you die

>>82566605
>Yeah well at least I'm not a nigger fucker
g-got em!

>>82566872
Mmmm there's millions of pounds of you, sweetie

>>82566795
fucking epic /b/ro

>>82566605
He didn't need a comeback all he needed was to just laugh along with it gracefully. Him getting butthurt made him look insecure as fucked and that's what fucked him over, not the her snarky remark about not wanting to fuck him. He could have just shrugged and laughed but instead he showed weakness.

>>82566605
He should've said
>Does anyone else have any other statements... that are smart?
LOL

>>82567166
>>82567153
these
He oozes insecurity

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>>82566605
>wow that's taking it a bit too far, don'y you think. You should apologize. Do you want to apologize? ...

>HHAHAHAHA nah I'm just fucking with you, that was pretty funny actually

>>82566663
Yes, the girl made it clear he had to leave the room.

>>82567237
not the worst

>>82566605
"Well, enjoy that little hypothetical world of yours, jesus"

>>82566605
>No that's fine. I'm not really into your type anyway

Would have made her insecure and mad.

It's approaching a year at this point and /tv/ still has not come up with a single worthwhile retort.

Did this one woman BTFO not only Jonah, but every single person on this board, permanently, forever?

>>82566736
>tfw you could kill every single person in the room before the studio security could put you down

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FRENCH WHORE BLOWN THE FUCK OUT

What does it mean to be "superbad"?

>>82566710
Could've just said that desu

>>82567408
based!

>>82567366
Shoul we just go and ask /sci/ or /lit/? Is it even scientifically and philosphically possible to find the right come back?

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>You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better.

>I'm a big target. Yeah, you're right, I eat too much. I also drink too much. I could be a healthy-hearted person like you... but I don't like to eat vegetables.

>Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not dieting. I like... I like meat. Seth Rogen likes me. My Subway Sandwich Artist like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What I see is what I eat

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>>82567366

Truly the French are NOT to be trifled with

If one French qt can make an ENTIRE website so insecure and upset, what else could she do?

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>>82566605
>>82567366

BUT THE JERK STOREEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>82567366
>"oh that's funny! yeah, i'll be sure to tell leo & brad about that next time we have cocktails while you're talking about rainclouds and pointing at a green screen"

idk something like that would've worked

>>82567366
>"I'll give you a million dollars to blow me after the show but only if you accept right now."

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>>82567613
>>82567647

>>82566605
This man is the human equivalent of box wine.

>>82567408
He's trying so hard to look like his idol Leo here but just comes off pathetic. Also brown blazer? Ewww.

>>82567701
holy kek

>>82567366
I'd say something like
> you dumb bitch, i'm going to rape you!

>>82566605
>At least I'm not a smelly fucking frog

>>82567114
Top lel

>>82566605
It really wouldn't matter if he ever manages to un-fat himself and get super fit. He'll always have that ratty fatty Jew personality.

>>82567114
Weather girl wins again

>tfw you come up with a good comeback, but it's a week later

>>82567114
Well I don't throw up after I eat

>>82566605
>Y'know I think George already had a pig.

Boom.

>>82567114
DELETE THIS

>>82568245
>I didn't know you two were gay...

You Can't Always Get What You Want starts playing

>>82567366
>enjoy this moment, woman. You insulted an international celebrity on TV, you'll get press, you'll tell your friends about this, over and over. And then what? What will you do, with all your guile and wits? Wits that had you writing this joke down ahead of time, crafting it, to confront an unprepared man, to make your light shine brighter. I'll tell you what you'll do. Live in mediocrity. In your career, this moment is the shining pinnacle, your masterpiece. For you is a majestic tower, rising, soaring into the clouds. Good for you, really. Let me tell you what I shall do. I shall live above your moment. The peaks of my career are mountains, the summit of which will never be equaled. The jagged apex of my mountain range rips a gash in the heavens, spilling the blood of the gods and fertilizing the lush forests of talent which grow upon the landscape of my success. And from the apex of my talent, I shall look upon your tower, the tower which for you stands so noble and tall and shining. And I will see a hill of beans. Rotten, putrid, petty and stinking, stinking like the body odour of the women which call this land of France home.

I think Jonah should have said something like this.

>>82567366
The retort should be inline with the insult. So, not very intelligent, petty, passive-aggressive.
Something like this: "I hear the Oscars after party will be pretty epic this year. Oh, you aren't invited?"
or
"Do you know how much fun one can have with the stupid amount of cash Hollywood throws at me? Oh, wait, you cant"

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*pulls out .45*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. NO, DON'T MOVE. NOBODY MOVE! EVERYONE SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your crocodile tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You useless skank. You disgusting euro whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. Every single word. Do it. SAY IT. And start taking your clothes off as you do it. Go ahead. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Good, just like that. You know, you might wanna thank me right about now. Because I'm about to make you a star you worthless cunt..."

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>>82567114
YOU JUST CAN'T WIN

>That's funny you say that actually, I was having lunch with Brad and Leo a couple weeks ago and they've done stuff like that before, but never anyone French so yeah, I can talk to my people about maybe setting something up.

Honestly the only good thing he could have said.

this incident mortified him so much that he actually got thin

He should have played along with the joke and laughed.

Trying to make a comeback just shows that he was hurt by her words.

You guys keep trying to come up with these clever insults and retorts but if he said any of these it would make it seem like he's getting overly defensive and lashing out at her.

The correct response would be to laugh and agree with her joke, then move on.

>>82569101
That sucks ass

>>82568886
>>82569101
These are getting worse by the minute
Lay off the cake fatties

>>82569146
That's the point. Or was it initially.

He should have just said "Yeah, you wish" and moved on.

Go on, try and come up with a better retort.

>>82569150
Not at all. In the situation he was in, coming back with an attack would be in poor taste. Just playing it off makes her look unnecessarily aggressive and makes him look calm and collected, how an American celebrity should appear during an interview.

Like this >>82569146

>>82569219
>and you leave
>Yeah you wish
WEATHER LADY BTFO

>>82569230
There is literally nothing worse than suppressing your feelings. And dont kid yourself, faking it is crystal clear
A petty counter-attack is much more respectable than playing it cool when you arent

>>82569219
There's a lot of division in this thread about how much effort he should put into the retort. This is simply stupid though, makes him look like a butthurt American with a 3rd Grade mentality.

No retort is better than any retort desu

>>82566605
Link?

He should have stood up

walk over to her

unzip his pants and begin urinating on her until security drags him away.

>>82569308
>WHATCHU GON DO BOUT IT
it could work

>>82569290

>On national television
>Letting your emotions dictate your behavior

Come on man. It was obviously a dick move, that the weather lady made, responding to an actual harsh attack with a quick retort (especially if you don't pull it off right) just makes you look bad.

>>82569335
No, he can't say anything. Just start urinating on her with a completely serious look on his face. Even after he's being pulled away by security he just keeps staring at her.

>>82567366

I've seen plenty of good retorts desu. I just like jonahposting and shit talking that fat fuck

"I can't le fucking understand what you are le saying"

>>82567366
Honestly the first thing he should have commented on was her awful drawn out delivery.

>>82569396
Jonah posting is great stuff, and it's a great exercise in milking a meme for all its fucking worth.

Will one of you faggots post the clip you're talking about? Not all of us fucking live on this board.

He should have burned the french flag right in front of her while yelling "heil hitler"

>>82569526
reverse image search the OP image and click the first link dumbass

The guys saying that he should've not replied are right. If he just said something like "Yeah, you're right." and laughed a bit, she'd look like a cunt that attacked an innocent man in an inappropriate way and situation.

>>82566706
Fuck, imagine the headlines that would make.

>Ha ha that's pretty funny, plan on going Nice any time soon I could take you in my truck parenthesis lol

>>82569558
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y90cC4qPgq4

Look at the like/dislike bar. She already did look like a cunt.

>>82569558
>You leave
>Yeah you're right *awkward laugh*
>she'd look like a cunt that attacked an innocent man in an inappropriate way
How do I know you're fat?

>>82567237
That's a good one, but it relies on her reply. That's a backfire.

>>82569589
>all these triggered fatties in the comment section
This is why everybody hates amerisharts

>>82569589
Who can blame Jonah for being off his game during the interview, he was obviously distracted by French Bruce Jenner in the red dress!

>>82569614
I'm not but thanks for guessing :^)

>>82569556
so much work when I can just get an autist to take care of biz

>>82568445
BTFO

he should have ripped his clothes off while screeching like a spider monkey and throwing feces around the room

i guarantee you she wouldn't ever make that joke again

>>82569396

Name one good retort

>>82569589
He handled it fine. You guys are all faggots and autists that never leave your house. You just imagine what human interaction is like. This board is stupid, damnit.

>>82566605
>I'm glad I came to this show to get ridiculed by a local presenter.

He put her in her place, OP. It wasn't a bad retort.

>>82569763
Agreed tbqh

>>82567713
Get rekt nigger, he's actually fairly handsome. Even without being rich and famous you can absolutely slay pussy with just a bit of confidence if you're presentable.

>"They wouldn't give you the time of day"

or something like that.

>"They only date hot girls"

how are these?

>>82569748
Wrong, I leave my house often. And Jonah could have certainly handled it better, but the nitpicking of responses is why Jonahposting is fun.

that was pretty harsh and desu he handled it as well as possible.

>>82567701
Lmao

Does this bitch not even know what kind of girls leo and brad hang out with? Both her and jonah are mediocre looking, they would be perfect for each other

>>82569787

Not clever enough

>>82566605
His only problem was he wasn't loud enough. He called her a small-time local celebrity, and that ain't bad.

>>82568445
>The funny part is that joke will probably be the height of your career HA HA HA HA HA

Good rebuttal desu

>>82569787
>"They only date famous people" would be a bit better.

>>82568989

frog got your tongue? what?

>>82566605
>Is this a French neg? Sorry you're not my type
>They just let anyone on tv here.. or no one
>I could introduce you to those guys, just kidding, who'd want to spend time with you
>You have quite a high opinion of yourself, confidence is fine but you've arrived at delusion

>>82569746

>fuck you bitch!

I mean if you feel like getting sodomized I still have the demon's number.

>you leave

>Yeah, right. That's not even remotely possible. I'm pretty sure BOTH of those guys are in committed relationships with women who are MUCH more attractive than you, sweet heart.
>Stands up
>In fact, why don't you show us why you deserve their time and attention, really the only things that women (females) want from men. I was on this subreddit, 'the RedPill' which talks a lot about this.
>Gets on chair
>Why don't you take off your shirt and bra underneath? Show us your sexual market value! Men like Brad and Leo, they're at the top of the food chain and they're picky eaters. I want to see your tits, sweetie. And I think the audience agrees with me.
>Starts clapping slowly, hands over head, trying to get audience enthusiastic.
>Come on sweetie, I want to see your nice, French breasts, or at least your ass, y'know that's the only thing men want really, ass and tits. Men are primal by nature.

>>82567366
J E R K S T O R E

>>82570019
>I was on this subreddit, 'the RedPill' which talks a lot about this.
lost

Anybody else feel that going for her miniscule celebrity status is the best course of action?

>>82569921
she's french

"They would only fuck someone famous or hot and at least I'm one of those."

>>82566605
>You bitch, you fucking cunt. You try to besmirch my name on television? Whore. I'll kill you. I''ll raoe and kill you, cunt. Fucking bitch. I shit on you. I'll use each orifice as I see fit, and I'll shit on you after I'm satiated. And then I'll kill you.
And then later that week the cops find her naked, covered in shit, with cum oozing out of her dead body.

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>>82566910

>>82570483
I like this. There's no real comeback for her to make. If she says "I'm both" she'd look like an idiot because she's a weather girl.
If she says "So am I" he can say "Nah, you're not that famous".

>>82569748
>He handled it fine
>cancelled all his other interviews in France because he was scared we would bantz him to death
>fine

>>82570612
Only good response ITT.
Yes, I'm samefagging. Do something about it, nigger

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>>82567114
B-british pounds that is, heh...

>>82570651
He cancelled his French interviews because of the smell.

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>>82567366
Fuck Y-you!!!

>>82570741
>sucking Bush's dick to this day by spouting his memes even now
Why would someone do this?

>>82570801
>Bush invented hating France

You were born during his presidency, weren't you?

>>82570648
But it suggests they're going to fuck him
>I didn't know you were gay

>>82570892
She played the gay card with the demon sodomy line. Wouldn't work twice.

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>>82570825
>b-by golly we always hated you frogs
Hahahaha.

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>>82567408
>schmoozes

>>82566605

>Since the times of antiquity there have been but a few stalwart constants: good, evil, greed, and french whores.
>*sharts loudly and struts off stage in a gentlemanly fashion*

>>82570946
>polls

>>82566605
He's a comedic actor, not a comedian.

Entirely different skill sets.

>>82570997
Well what about them John?

>>82568445
Hey look it's him. The supreme gentleman.

>>82571021
That one in particular is bullshit. Your country's been viewed with distaste in the US since the 1790s.

>>82567166
>statements
this sounds exactly as salty btw

>>82569763
Normally, it wouldn't be. Thing is, he's supposed to be a comedian. The expression on his face while she was telling the joke was like he was watching a car crash in slow-mo.

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YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO

>>82566605
>takes out something from his pocket
>it's a card with a green > printed on it
>holds it on the left side of his face
>looks at the camera
>says "implying"

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>>82571375

>>82571375
That would earn him some pts with the meme team

>>82571291
No, I completely agree. Nothing wrong with the reply, though.

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>>82566605
What he said was a solid ass quip what are you talking about?

He belittles her and the whole show and calls out their unprofessionalism.

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>>82567713
>brown blazer
He's trying to exude that rustic vibe

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Why not /tv/s go to reply, when things hit a little close to home?

>Y-you're just p-projecting..!

>>82567647
>"And for that reason, I'm out"

>>82571375
Back to r/4chan

>sorry, but even leo has standards

>>82571477
Looks like Ricky

>>82567153
this. fat faggot cant handle the banter.

>>82569977
Those double dubs don't lie.

>>82569101
fucking stupid desu

>>82569410
this one is funny

>>82566605
>Jonah gets into Frenchie's face
>"I'm Jonah Hill, bitch!"
>backhands the shit out of her face
>"I'm rich!"
>spits on her and walks off set

>>82567114
toddler tier

>>82567408
he actually looks pretty good

>>82566605
I still stand by that he shouldve just made it weird.

"Thats so weird cause I have the same fantasy too, where you leave the room and its just me brad and leo"

or take it a step further
"yeah thats weird i have the exact same fantasy except you leave the room instead, and me brad and leo face fuck each others asses."

>>82567408
I can't see what they're eating out of his hand. Is it cashews?

>>82572392
Crystallized semen

>>82570483
this implies he wants to get fucked by brad or leo

>>82572972
It implies that Brad and Leo would rather fuck him instead of her.

>>82572327
Why is this funny?

>in other news: comedian/actor Jonah Hill comes out on french talk show

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>>82567114
wins the thread

>>82566647
>FUCK ME RIGHT?

>>82573669

>You leave.

>The funny thing about my back is it's located on my cock.

Jesus, Jonah

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>You're a jerk. Why would you do that? You think it's funny? You're a jerk.

>>82566605
Yeah it must have been a dream, because nobody would want to fuck you, you fucking skank bitch. Down with feminism.

FUCK YOU

>>82573950
Jesus christ
>>82566605
"Why would the three of us be hanging out with an old washed up weather lady?"

>>82567701
is this a jojo reference?

>>82573066
imo i think going going along with a self deprecating joke would have been the best response.

>Lol wut bitch, nah im not leaving cuz im fucking brad and leo, stupid cunt.

Something ironic and dumb would have made some levity and no one would have gave a shit.

>>82566605
Haha, Leo & Brad wanting to have sex with you? Of course it was a dream.

>>82567713
You have to admit he pulls it off.

>>82569917
This a million times over. It's basically what he said anyway but trimmed down and all the fat cut off.

>they only date famous people

Because that would absolutely crush her spirit. Weathermen/women and news anchors always have larger aspirations like becoming world famous.

But being the local weather girl is the bottom rung of fame. Probably not even on the ladder at all.

>>82567408
Fashion police would have a field day on this guy

>>82571211
Not him, amerilard here. Everyone here likes France because they have had so many feral sandniggers wreaking havoc in their country. So it's like enemy of my enemy (mudshits).

>>82575626
I will not admit that because it's false

>>82566605
He should have told her to go back to reddït

>>82576269
>fashion is static

>>82576455
It's not, which is why this is bad.

>Nah, you're not Leo's type.
>What's his type?
>Attractive.

>>82576481
>Nah, you're not Leo's type
>You're nobody's type, fatty

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>G-get h-hit by a t-truck b-bitch! Le Pen will win and y-ou will be deported, d-darkie. T-the only white flags the French will wave from here on out w-will be hoisted by the Klan on their Muslim hunts!

>>82576505
>implying a woman has enough wit to come up with that on the spot

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>>82576505
Life is suffering for fatties

these threads are always golden

Jesus christ it's been months since the event and none of you retarded fatties have been able to come up with a good comeback.

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>>82566910

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Who was in the wrong here?

>>82576703
That's how it starts. The fever, the rage, the feeling of powerlessness ...

>>82576703

Look at all those people laughing at him.

>>82576601

This comment gets funnier every thread!

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JUST

>>82566605
Oh man, I want to watch this, but I'm too embarassed to watch this

Why do I have to feel embarrassed for other people /tv/, it's the shittiest feeling ever

>>82576703
Jonah for being a fat fuck

>>82568445
autism incarnate

>>82576843
you're a natural empath, which means that your path is a strange and difficult one

'Heh heh'

>>82566605
>Ornella... I AM Pagliacci

done and done

There are simply some zingers with no comeback, even the hivemind has failed to find one for this.

>>82566605
>I'm rubber you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.
whore BTFO

>>82566605
>I can probably set that up. But unlike your usual routine I think you'll be the one paying in this case.

Anyone has the "pulls out glock" response?

>>82576481
>Nah, you're not Leo's type
>okay
>...

good one, autist

>>82577211
Right, so either she takes the bait and she gets BTFO, or she doesn't, and he at least looks like he didn't get his jimmies rustled.

win win

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"I was kind enough to bring my hollywood magic to your studio and country, so your people could forget about the recent massacres, but now you're making me wish they had kebabed more of you."

>>82571375
>tfw can't greentext irl

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>I hear you get sodomized pretty often

Kek god fucking damn Jonah

>>82577418
I recall some billiard player greentexting like a moron in real life just fine.

>>82572221
t. fatty

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WATCH IT CUNT

>>82567366
>"So how long did that take for you to rehearse?"

>>82577767
t. toddler

>>82569671
underrated post

Rally, there's no good comeback for this one, because what she implied is completely true: Jonah Hill is fat, ugly and unattractive. He may be rich but so is Leo and Brad Pitt, he can't compete. Only thing he can attempt is to laugh it off or do a self-deprecating comment. If he attacks her, he loses. Props to the weather lady.

>>82567114
Kek

He should have just smiled at his friend, or some guy there and say
"I like her" or ask the audience "that was rude wasnt that rude?" while maintainig composure and smile the whole time.
The thing is she was just teasing, and he shouldnt show that she got to him.

>>82567408
JONAH YES!

>>82568445
>so... im just like you when you hung out with brad pitt?

>>82566605

is there a link to a video for thise reference?

ive been away from tv for a few weeks trying to sort my life out.

>I wouldn't fantasize about you at all

>>82579186
that one is good, but a little harsh. the story would shift to how much of a cunt he is