Rico Muerte. Big time hustler.

>>>/v/
Although: Max Payne 2 > 1 > 3

ITS PAYNE

>/tv/ fags will never experience this video game kino noir series

>>82551158
WHACK EM

>>82551138

oh Rico. you're soooooo baaaayd

Was the movie any good?

>>82551331
Ludacris played Jim Bravura.

that should answer your question.

>>82551138
You play, you pay, you bastard.

>>82551138
>>>/v/

>>82551138
Well, he's big alright.

Dodging bullets like raindrops.

>>82551341
Did they even bother to have John Woo-style ridiculous action? I think I already know the answer to my own question.

He was trying to buy more sand for his hourglass. I wasn't selling any.

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>>82551681
>Did they even bother to have John Woo-style ridiculous action?
Of course not. Just some really awful Valkyr hallucination CGI

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>And now, the season finale of Lords and Ladies.

>>82551754
My lord!

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>>82551754

>tfw all seasons of Lords and Ladies, Address Unknown, and Dick Justice become available on Netflix

In Max Payne 1, in the hotel near the beginning, there are porno mags open on some of the coffee tables in the hotel rooms

There is a picture of a women's ass with a black thong. I zoomed in on it with a sniper rifle and jerked off when I was like 12

>>82551888
How the fuck did you get the sniper rifle at the beginning? That's one of the last weapons you get.

>>82551138
>Two mad dog killers, ready to murder each other! They step into the next room, and I'm thinking, now they're gonna do it. But no! They sit down in front of a TV and solve their differences with a kung fu fighting video game! I tell you Candy, I got so depressed, I strangled them both with the video game cables.

>>82551138
Was that wamen sucking his beins?

>>82551908
Cheats. You don't remember cheats.ugo? Or cheatgames? Gamewinners?

But seriously,

>>>/v/

>>82552024
>not gamefaqs
You were doing it wrong all along, boi. But I agree that this doesn't belong, so not bumping.

>12 years old
>convinced dad and cousin this movie would be good
>loved the games so much
>certain about movie being awesome

what a mistake that was. they gave me shit about it for years afterwards. and rightfully so

>>82552217
>12

correction, I was actually 14

>>82552164
I never touched gamefaqs ever to be honest. IGN had walkthroughs I needed, and the other sites I mentioned had the cheats.

IT'S THAT COP

Vlad was right. There are no choices. Nothing but a straight line. The illusion comes afterwards, when you ask 'Why me?' and 'What if?'. When you look back and see the branches, like a pruned bonsai tree, or forked lightning. If you had done something differently, it wouldn't be you. It would be someone else looking back, asking a different set of questions

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>>82552801
I would fuck her.

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>>82551176
>implying i don't consume the best each medium has to offer

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>>82551681
>>82551331
>game was a parody of noir and action movies with a good sense of humor
>the movie focuses on the noir aspect, has little to no action, no humor and no Vlad
>actually takes the campy storyline of the game seriously

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>>82551155
> 2>1

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>>82551729
tfw i liked that movie

665. The neighbor of the beast.

SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT AMERICANS, BUT WE U N D E R S T A N D CAPITALISM

>>82553324
third one isn't as quotable, sadly. Except for the turning people into glue line.

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why didnt they just hire Sam to do the movie

>>82553561
Marky Mark is more recognizable and will bring in the normies. The Vietnamese audience might be alienated, but they're not people so it's ok.

>>82553617
But he can't do the face. You gotta have the face.

>>82553561
Cuz he has a thick accent.
Just hire the guy who did his voice and face in 2/3.

THE NIGHT THE PAIN STARTED

>>82551158
PAYNE
IN
THE
BUTT

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>>82553660
No one making the movie gave a shit.

>>82553561
>>82553768
How old is this guy? He's got god tier aesthetics. I'm jelly.

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>>82551813
>address unknown

don't tease me like this

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>>82553799
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Lake

>>82552946
>>game was a parody of noir and action movies
I was ten at that time and didn't realize parody aspect of Max Payne at all. For me it was really cool and dark depressing story, ending of the first chapter felt like a mystic thriller really (some real lovecraftian shit).

DON'T ANSWER THAT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8IEiwBLSxw

What's a really good noir film?

i still remember that fucking drug induced trip level being so fucking disorienting and confusing

Childhood is diving through every door to shoot people.
Adulthood is realising that slow-mo walking through them just makes more sense.

>>82554083
>falling off the path
>the screaming

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>>82551155
Max Payne 1 > 2 > Dvd of the movie gone through the digestive system of a elephant > Max Payne 3

>>82551138
Looks like James Corden.

>>82551155
FPWP

1 > 3 > 2

YOU'RE IN A COMPUTER GAME MAX

>>82554211
His face looks A LOT like a low-level actor that I don't know the name of nor the tv-show or possibly movie I've seen him in. Now it'll bug the shit out of me.

Thread theme song:
>www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzsiE44Lz_w

>>82554289
I always felt bad killing the goon who plays this on a piano.

>>82554289
Oh, come on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ppE4-Og9dI

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THE FLESH, THE FLESH, I THINK I DIED, I THINK I'M DEAD I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW. DEATH IS COMING, IT'S COMING, THEY'RE HERE, THEY'RE HERE, GET AWAY, GET AWAY, I'M GONNA HURT YOU, I'M GONNA HURT YOU.....

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>>82554514

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Funny ASS hell!

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This is a Alan wake thread now

>>82554500
god this game was such a masterpiece, it even had its own in game tv shows which reflects subtexts of the story

>It's true what they say about the fall and the sudden stop at the end.

I'd lain here in the snow while the lurid chain of scenes that had led me here kept playing in my head, a rerun of my own private snuff movie, a memory of my corpse. Alone at my own wake. Thinking in metaphors again.

The Femme Fatale was gone.
>This was a late goodbye. Thirteen years after I'd gotten my revenge, it finally caught up with me. It'd been a long time to bear the pain.

My blood painted the snow red - a gruesome slushie - dissolved all the scattered painkillers, and leisurely dripped down to the sewer, mingling with the bile of the city, becoming one with it.
>tfw we will never get the real max payne 3 Sam lake wanted to make

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>>82551138
>Finish that miniboss fight
>Check behind the bar to look for some ammo
>The floor is filled with semen

>>82554938
the only thing i remember about the third game is some penthouse mission and going down a river

man that game sucked compared to the OG

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damn mona looks like THAT!?

>>82554607
this looks like it would be awkward at that angle

>>82554938
>we will never get the real max payne 3 Sam lake wanted to make
So what was it he wanted to make, considering Max found his peace at the end of the 2.

LOVE
SAVE US ONCE

>>82553853
Oh that explains why Quantum Break was so behind modern games. It was pretty much a cheap TV show render in CGI for some reason

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the ending to max payne 2 is kino.

max payne 3 wasn't bad, in fact, it was pretty gud. it still had that noir feeling, even without the rain. especially like how max wore different clothing every level, only video game i know that does that. max keeps putting on the grey suit and it keeps getting more and more wrinkled every level he wears it in.

>>82554167
Movie was more of a travesty than 3.

What went so terribly fucking wrong?

>>82554961
The worst were the fanboys.

"Hey you can still play it like the old games, just dont use the cover system!"

With mapdesign focussed on small rooms full of boxes and chest-high walls, weapons that require 2 second reloading after 3 second shooting and static as fuck enemies... riiiiight.

>>82555123
>WAHHH IT'S TOO HARD

is all i hear when you say this

>>82555111
Sam the Man wasn't on the steering wheel. They could "remedy" the situation by saying 3 was a spin-off and making a proper sequel by returning to the roots.

>>82554959
fuck I never did that. brb

I really hope Sam Lake makes the game he wants.

>>82554991
it wasn't supposed to be man on fire clone....Max payne was going through some sort of amnesia all he remembers is a line from a song..max payne was supposed to die in the end.Inititally this was supposed to be the plot of Max payne 2 but i remember sam lake mentioning the same thing for his max payne 3 pitch.

>>82555123
>he can't play the game without using the cover system
I fucking suck at games, but even I could. You should try to git gud

>>82555144
>TOO HARD
who are you quoting anon?

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>>82554833

Anonymous ## Mod 2017-05-09 08:08:37 Post No.82555325
[Report]

Anonymous ## Mod 2017-05-09 08:08:37 Post No.82555325 [Report]

This thread was moved to >>>/v/376395243