Why didn't they just launch the ring into Low Middle-Earth Orbit?

Tiger Woods wasn't in middle earth

>>82545361
What does launching things into orbit have to do with fucking trashy waitresses?

Because Middle Earth is actually hell.

I never understood "power" in the lotr universe

Everyone says oh this guy or that guy is the most powerful but he can't actually fight... Well then what the fuck do they do? What makes them powerful?

It would eventually fall back down, like the Star Trek guys ashes.

>>82547741
immortality, astral projection, prophecy. just off the top of my head

so what is on the sides of middle earth?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3I8I_i8Syw&list=PLbaz-kYV0Vi7xX2biA3D-PzcS019gU6S7&index=20
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i3Ax4YJySg&list=PLbaz-kYV0Vi7xX2biA3D-PzcS019gU6S7&index=21
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zjm1DRMEyUQ&list=PLbaz-kYV0Vi7xX2biA3D-PzcS019gU6S7&index=22
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5y99rpk8to&list=PLbaz-kYV0Vi7xX2biA3D-PzcS019gU6S7&t=10s&index=23
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WskRAEggqkQ&list=PLbaz-kYV0Vi7xX2biA3D-PzcS019gU6S7&index=24
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rag_9J1ZC2g&list=PLbaz-kYV0Vi7xX2biA3D-PzcS019gU6S7&t=3s&index=25

don't mind me, just posting a few scenes.

>>82544975
we dont even know what the laws of physics in illuvatars universe would allow. remember at one point the globe was actually flat so we cant assume anything

Does space exist in LOTR lore? Is Arda alone, or one of many planets?

>>82548024
>prophesy
how does making a prediction make you powerful

>>82548228
Arda is literally ancient Earth, so yeah, space exists.

>>82548147
>remember at one point the globe was actually flat
it still is, anon

>>82547741
>this guy or that guy is the most powerful but he can't actually fight
who are you talking about exactly?

>>82548518
Sauron
Gandalf
Feanor
The ghosts
Etc

>>82548309
>how does making a prediction make you powerful
it doesnt dipshit, but that isnt what prophecy is. equating being able to tell the future with making a prediction is like calling flight a really high jump.

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why didn't they just feed the ring to a horse?

>>82548518
it was in the last lotr thread

someone was talking about how morgoth always got btfo but was still really powerful.

>>82548570
Why didn't they glue the ring to a small animal and let the animal run around middle earth while invisible? They would have never found it.

>>82548567
Then why the fuck did u add in prophecy to what makes him powerful you faggot

>>82548615
Why not just bury the ring?

>>82548615
It doesn't work that way. The ring enhances your innate abilities.

A rabbit ringbearer would just be extra tasty.

>>82548649
because being able to tell the future is powerful. are you retarded?

>>82548652
>>82548615
because the ring has a will. it will never stay hidden. plus the ring wraiths can detect the ring, even more when its being worn

>>82548562
Gandalf solos a Balrog though

>>82548665
Actually the ring just corrupts and transforms creatures who aren't capable of mastering it ( (ie all mortals) into wraiths as they wear it, hence why Isildur becomes invisible when he wears it while Sauron doesn't. Presumably Gandalf and Galadriel wouldn't either.

>>82544975
Why didn't they just put the ring on the eagle's talon and let it fly over the volcano?

>>82548665
>The ring enhances your innate abilities.

So Isildur was just a very large hobbit who just wanted to be left alone too since the ring turned him invisible as well?

>>82548967
Isildur was a vegan so it's different.

>>82548562
Sauron and Gandalf are both Maiar. Feanor is just a dick. I can't even summarize it just read this
https://www.themarysue.com/the-silmarillion-recaps-part-1/

>>82544975
Because middle earth is flat and space doesn't exist.

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>>82548361
>Arda is literally ancient Earth
>Erd is German for Earth

Bravo Tolkien

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>>82548309
If enough people believe you, then the power is in the masses that follow you.

>>82547601
kek

Why didnt they just put the ring into the eagles' bird seed? they could poop it out while they fly around the continents and with any luck you got yourself whole forests of ring trees. Then everyone could have one

>>82550562
does the bird clone whatever it consumes? is it a clone bird?

>>82550562
>>82551207
what if one clone bird ate another one?

What if they just drop the ring in a different volcano, I mean who da fuck is going to find it down there

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Why didn't they just smuggle some lava out of Mordor, essentially take the mountain to the ring?

>>82544975
Remember that Middle-Earth was flat at one point until the end of the second age or sometime.

>>82551352
what would they carry it in? there's wasnt exactly a surplus of 3rd graders going around to just build a mini volcano on demand for some kind of twisted ye olde dark age fantasy elf science project.

Why didn't they just let Galadriel have it? What are they, gay or something?

So if the chasm in Moria was so deep it went down further than the dwarves had ever dug, why the fuck didn't they just throw the ring down there?

why not just drop the ring in the middle of the ocean? There's no way they could ever recover it from the bottom of the sea

why did ganondalf just make a magic portal to mt mcdoom?

>>82553028
>the sea
>not the most corruptible corruptibility of all corruption
I dont think so tim HEE HAW HEE HAW

>>82553048
Because he did not possess the pearls

Why didn't Frodo just give the ring to Gandalf? He's good and he is powerful lol.

Why did Ancalgon, as the largest dragon, not simply eat the other dragons?

What happened to Beginning and End Earth?

why didn't fromage just use the invisibility cloak to get to mount death.

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You think you are wise, Shekelberg, yet for all your subtleties you have not wisdom. Do you think the shareholders of the White Tower™ are blind? I have seen more than you know. With your left hand you would use me as a write-off against Mordor©. And, with your right, you seek to do a hostile takeover! I know who files with Théoden of Rohan, LLC. Oh, yes. Words have reached my ears of this Aragorn, inheritee of Arathorn, and I tell you now: I will not bow to this investor from Wall Street, last of a ragged corporation long bereft of assets!

Authority is not given to you to deny the return of the majority shareholder, CFO!

The stocks of Gondor Inc. are mine! And no others'!

>>82553081
What? What's so corrupt about the ocean? Explain how Sauron could recover it

how did grandad survive when he was fighting hellboy?

>>82553191
Because the ring raids could see him when he used the cloak

>>82553244
He was already dead.

So how did everybody intend to use the ring as a weapon? It does nothing but turn people invisible.

If Gandalf was so powerful why was a little light or a shield the best spell he ever used?

Why was Frodo such a retard abandoning the fellowship and trusting Gollum when he could have stayed and destroyed the ring by the start of the second movie when they get there?

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>>82553264
>ring raids

>>82553244
He didn't survive, he fucking died but then god brought him back to finish his mission or some shit

Same thing happened to Frodo when he was in shelob's lair

Actually it's kind of fucking retarded since if god is so set on having the ring destroyed that he cheats death twice, why didn't he just fucking do it himself?

>>82553264
but why aragog just kill the ring rats.

>>82553336
cuz reee rooos are already dead

why did god-elf give a gold ring to froddlo instead of selling it? gold is worth a lot of money.

>>82553416
then why didnt he unkill them.

>>82553336
Arabic used a flaming torch to kill them remember

It was when they were on whethertop

why did bilbo have the ring anyway, i thought frodd had it.

>>82553223
ITS THE OCEAN DUDE
EACH WAVE IS A LITERAL WALL OF CORRUPTION CRUSHING DOWN UPON THE CORRUPT SHORES OF CORRUPT SAND AND CORRUPTOROCKS, ONLY TO RECEDE BACK INTO THE GIANT PUDDLE THAT IS THE OCEAN OF CORRUPTION HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THIS?????????

>>82553420
Because his assets were all in bonds at the moment

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Was Ancalagon a big enough guy to just crush the Ring?

>>82553501
but why didnt ancalgon just step on the wetherspoons.

>>82553528
I don't see it. It's just water. And you still haven't explained how Sauron could recover it.

>>82553521
Bonobo gave the ring to Dumbledore, who gave it to Sigmund Freud.

why didn't gandle just fucking tell grimly that his friends in the mines were all dead.

>>82553568
sauron would clearly will the corrupt creatures to do his malevolently corrupt bidding, and the corrupt squids would bring the ring to the corrupt pirates who would sail their corrupt ships straight back into mordor, corrupting everything along the way

>>82553550
That doesn't make any sense. How would a creature of that size even be able to find enough sustenance to survive? He's literally the size of a small country.

why didn't they just mass produce the ring using hobbit wage slaves in order to devalue the ring eventually causing a hobbit proletariat workers revolution where the pillars of middle earth capitalism are toppled leading to a chain reaction of an orc workers revolution that overthrows Sauron leading all the workers of the middle world to unite and liquidate their capitalist rulers in mount doom along with all the rings they were forced to create as well as throwing the original ring into the volcano

truly the biggest plot hole

why didnt castel gandolfo suspect that the guy called sauronman was working with sauron.

>>82553595
BECAUSE GANDRIEL DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE GIMPY SAD OKAY

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why didnt they create a load of identical rings and put them all together in a jar?

>>82553318
>, why didn't he just fucking do it himself?
have you ever seen dbz

why didn't gabriel just hide the ring in her pusy?

>>82553636
Because Saren would be able to guess how many rings were in the jar and then they would have to give him the prize

>>82553674
No because I'm not a nerd

>>82552977
>giving the ring to the horrors that gnaw at the earth
Almost as stupid as the morons who want to throw it in the ocean and give it to Ulmo.

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>>82553683
no

if ghibli hated legoland and wanted to get more kills than him why not just kill him at helmet's deep???

>>82553717
dont FUCKING mock me

>>82553736
A single dwarf could not kill an elf. And I hope you people are getting the names wrong on purpose, because if not then this is just sad...

>>82553728
What the fuck are some worms going to do with the ring? They don't even have fingers.

>>82553636
So they could vote for the king of the pirates.

>>82553776
Did you just get off the bus from Reddit my friend

>>82553736
Totoro killed many elves.

>>82553780
a worm is literally 1 giant finger you neanderthal

>>82553776
what film are you talking about? i thought this was the richie rich general.

>>82553223
He doesn't need to. They discuss sending it to the West and dropping it in the sea, but Sauron is ultimately too strong anyway even without the ring. The only way to actually beat him was to destroy it.

>>82553804
i used to but now im pretty much all 4chan

>>82553856
It's more like a giant ding dong but are you telling me the ring is going to grow to like 300 feet radius so some worm can use it as a belt?

>>82553858
Was Gloria's mother an AOL subscriber?

>>82553864
That's fucking stupid. Why didn't they just give the ring to Boromir or Aragorn to use the ring against sauron?

why did smowg attack the people at bimpo's party? i thought he was dead.

>>82548124
Disgusting spacing. Go away.

>>82553780
A worm wears it like a necklace and becomes like the worms from Dune.

why didnt faggotmir just ignore dembledor and stay inside minute tariffs like just ignore him lol wasted all those brave gogdun nights ;_;

>>82548124
why did tintin decide to make a music video in the middle of a war.

>>82553885
yeah

>>82553926
He was dead you idiot it was a zombie

why didn't arrogant let pinup eat eleventh elevenses?

>>82554036
He did, he threw him an orange remember

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WATCH IT FROGGER

>>82554021
why didn't they fly the zombie dragons to murder?

>>82554050
but why didn't ringo get dissolved by citric acid.

>>82553919
Because using it is basically giving it to Sauron
The only ones that can effectively use it against him are Gandalf, Saruman and Galadriel (maybe Glorfindel as well) but you might as well just give it to Sauron at that point, because Gandalf as master of the world would be no better than him

>>82554135
lol dumbass ghandi is a good guy.

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how come they didn't just get dwarves to tunnel deep under mordor, thereby avoiding saurons armies? if dwarves could hollow out vast chasms like moria then it shouldve been a cakewalk for them to create a mini tunnel strait into the lava source. checkmate tolkien

>>82554200
what a fucking idiot, no wonder he's dead lmao.

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why didnt gobbler eat bilbbo immediately.

why didnt saurus lock the back door to murder so golem couldnt get in

>>82553609
he's a magical being you fucking retard

>>82553550
It depends if he had a divine soul. The oldest of the Balrogs was strong enough.

>>82554321
why did souron torture gallop. thats against the geneva convention, he can't do that.

>>82554347
oh yeah, well i didn't vote for him.

>>82554347
but what do he eat for dinner

if arbitrary was such a god warrior, why he didnt just shoot a arrow into sasquatch fire eye

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Why didn't Sauron ask Sheng Long for lower taxes?

why was hobbit so short.

>>82554357
Mordor wasn't party to that treaty

>>82554357
It wasn't torture, he just waterboarded Gollum a little bit

Why didn't they all just move to First Earth?

>>82544975
Why couldn't Sauron spare an orc or 2 to guard the entrance to Mt. Doom

Why didn't Sauron just cover the entrance in rocks or collapse it

>>82554542
Because he was autistic

Can the ring be used by bacteria? Why doesn't the ring just shrink to microscopic scale and fit around the bacteria then

when did sourcream get married. does he have an engagment ring too?

what would happen if u turned it into a cock ring

>>82554568
This was brought up in an interview. Tolkien said that there are no bacteria in Middle Earth.

Why didn't Sauron just realize that he's evil and an hero?

>>82554542
why didn't sampson put his eye inside houndoom instead of on a random tower?

>>82554621
Heroes aren't evil, though.

>>82553501
Algernon didn't kill them he just beat them up

Why didn't the eagles just fly the ring into space

>>82554568
Why didn't it shrink fit for a small fish/crustacean when they went to nibble at it for the microlife it had cultivated around a human finger when it fell in the river?

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>>82548124
>&list
>&index

Why didn't Frodo just tell Gandalf to get the fuck out of his house?

>>82548771
No it doesn't, you wouldn't be able to do shit about it
If you can then you really can't see the future

Why didn't Sauron just politely ask for the ring?

>>82554615
when u cum it goes into sauraons i

Actual question: Why didn't Sauron/the Wraiths know Bilbo had the ring when he put it on during his party?

why didnt they put the ring to chuck norris :P

>>82554753
They might have? They weren't anywhere near to act on it.

>>82554753
it was a different ring.

>>82554753
they already knew it was in the shire by torturing gollum.

why didnt gandalf put the ring on his dick lol. haha

>>82554753
In the book, there was a period of like decades between when bilbo had his party and when Frodo left for rivendell

Probably sauron still wasn't even settled into mordor at that time

>>82547741
Political influence, accumulated knowledge, and/or clairvoyance.

>>82549254
Nobody cares about your shit language, dumb kraut frog

Why didn't they take the ring to valinor then no one can take it

>>82554532
Their powerlevel wasn't high enough to get to Top Earth saddly.

>>82554956
Nigga you really think the elves would let that pure evil anywhere near their island

Why didn't Frodo just use Force Speed to run all the way to Mt Doom

>>82554848
>Political influence
sauron had political influence? did the orcs vote?

>>82555009
They could've asked the valor to destroy it
It's not like it would influence them

>>82554619
>No bacteria to make you digest your chipotle
Middle Earth really IS hell after all

>elves were immortal
>still had babies like humans
>somehow the whole world wasn't filled with elves
do you think they had an eugenics program?

>>82555074
Maybe they just have an insanely low birth rate? Like they can fug a million times and still produce no offspring

>>82555012
He fell into a nest of gundarks

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Why do you anons want to kill me?

All I want to do is make middle earth great again

If you work for me I'll let you have elves as sex slaves

>>82555150
Okay then, where do I put my ballot ?

>>82544975
It might bump into the simarillion floating up there and blow up the worl

Why didn't they create a bigger badder ring and then a bigger baddier guy than sauron could beat sauron

Why didn't Sauron try to take over Middle Earth by influencing the political system through campaign contributions?

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>>82544975
>orbital launch capability
>implying
Why didn't they just launch it at mount doom on a ballistic missile? If you can launch shit into orbit, you can get anywhere on the planet pretty damn quickly. The same rockets can generally do both with a bit of tinkering.

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>>82555240
Not even Sauron is that conniving.

>>82555198
You don't need one just follow my side

>>82555249
>all of that capable of taking payload of 2 tons to orbit
>the ring weighs like 5 grams
anyone decently strong in the lotr universe should be able to just throw it to orbit

>>82555313
But the ring can change its weight

>>82555335
So can my dick but you don't see me launching it into space do you?

>>82555313
>rocket can launch 2 tons into orbit
>therefore you can just throw 5 grams into orbit
what

>>82555335
yeah to fit its wearer. it's not conscious and wouldn't change to 2 tons after someone tried to throw it.

What would happen if Morgoth had the ring?

what about a very powerful balloon?

>>82555363
yeah the physics check out. someone strong in the lotr universe like an ent should be able to just slam down on a lever and launch the ring into orbit.

>>82555370
Probably nothing. It obviously wouldn't corrupt him nor do I think it would make him any more powerful since after all Sauron is his subordinate and is far weaker than Morgoth.

>>82553028
>giving the ring to Ulmo

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if elves are so old and great why they are still live in the middle-ages? Are alves niggers of middleearth?

>>82555426
Fuck off, reddit

>>82555435
>>82553728
What's so bad about giving it to Ulmo? He's one of the fucking Ainur, and he's not evil because he's not Melkor. The ring is a pathetic trinket to him.

Are there any kingdoms of men that are not related to one another?

>>82555462
They're more like amish I guess, pure traditionalists.

>>82555494
The ring would find a way to land on the shore, some dude would find it ala Gollum, Sauron gets it back.

More importantly, it wouldn't make any difference since Sauron didn't need the ring to wreck the Gondor (and therefore the whole Middle Earth).

>>82555150
How many elves as sex slaves are we talking about?

How were the orcs made again? Weren't they created by torturing elves and corrupting them or something

>the ring is literally indestructible and not effected by mechenical wear and tear
Why not use its physical properties at that point. Put it on the tip of a drill or something, i'm sure there are applications for an indestructible material

>>82555814
I don't think it works like that.

>>82555808
elven women getting ORCED

>>82553286
> Enhances the users ability

> Wanted middle earth to fight for itself, didn't want the little earthlings getting lazy

> Because anyone/everyone of the fellowship could have turned on him

>>82555982
If it doesn't, just use it as a drill until it's torn apart. Win/win

>>82555814
why didnt sauron just use the same magic that was in the ring and forge magic indestructible armour and weapons for all the orcses and himself?

>>82544975
Then Sauron would have just went up to upper earth with a big net and scooped the ring up

>>82556122
Why doesn't every american soldier fly a lockheed-martin f-22?

Why does the ring matter if Sauron got defeated by a normal guy in the first place

Some of the posts in this thread are kinda hard to tell if they're shitposts or not, but...

Eru did interfere a lot. I'm guessing he didn't just destroy the ring on his own for one of two reasons. Either he thought it would be boring/had bigger things going on/didn't give enough of a shit, or it was just a bad idea to. In the silmarillion they mention that if one of the deities went to arda, their powers were greatly diminished. I'm guessing the same would happen to Eru and that potentially risking literally God's life wasn't a great idea

>why didn't they put the ring in space/the ocean/bury it/hide it/whatever
Pretty sure they talk about this in the movie
Hiding it is too dangerous because saurons armies were growing more powerful and no matter where it was hidden, they would eventually find it and then everyone would be fucked. Even if that's something they wouldn't have to worry about for a million years, it's better if they just destroy it before sauron becomes so powerful that it's impossible to get to mt doom

Why didn't Gandalf fly the eagles to spray a giant bear mace on Sauron's eye? It didn't have eyelids or arms, there probably was no milk and if they tried cleaning the eye with water it would extinguish it.

>>82556185
Sauron was less powerful back then, and the "normal guy" was a prime human, able to live for hundreds of years.

Imagine a suped up Aragorn, it's basically what Isildur was.

>>82549254
Old English and proto-Germanic were actually closely related. Guess what one term for Earth was in OE?
Midduneard.
Midgard comes from the same source

>>82556185
because after that incident sauron will learn to not reach his ring hand out so someone can chop it off

>>82554200
Shitpost but valid point

Because of exactly what happened in moria
There's scarier shit beneath middle Earth than just sauron that they'll dig up and end up fucking everyone over, good and bad
E.g. The lake monster is the only thing I remember them dealing with specifically, but supposedly he wasn't so bad compared to what else they could've bumped into

Also the balrog

>>82556185
He wasn't a normal guy. He was a 7'11' tall, 320 years old, king of the numenorean dude

>>82556299
>Sauron was less powerful back then
No.

>>82553048
m8 this isn't Runescape, GTFO

>>82553570
keked

why didn't gandalf just use a teleportation spell?

>>82556347
Bad wording sorry, I meant that the other races were more powerful back then (which makes him comparatively weaker than in lotr).

Why didn't Iluvatar just flip a bird at Sauron?

Why didn't Bilbao just use the Ring to summon Shenron and defeat Smag

Why didnt frodo just propose to sauron?

>>82556413
Yeah, that makes more sense.
Barely any elves left in middle earth, blood of numenor spread thin, lots of men under the power of sauron.
>>82556417
He did. Frodo didn't destroy the ring. Gollum didn't either. He tripped. Who made him trip?

How is it that LOTR threads contain both the most comfy discussion but also the best, humorous shitposting?

>>82556821
I think it's because deep down everyone loves lotr, so even the most retarded shitposting is just harmless fun, as opposed to other generals where people are actively trying to harm people with their shitposts because of differing opinions

>>82544975
this thread legitimately needs to removed so i don't have to look at that picture in the catalog any more

>>82556452
Because Bilbao only signs basque players.

Why didn't they just give the ring to Sauron, allow him to regain his full power then defeat him in battle and in so doing completely crush his morale and make him feel like a total bitch who couldn't even win despite owning the One Ring?

>>82557016
>Why didn't they just give the ring to Sauron, allow him to regain his full power then defeat him in battle
They wouldn't have been able to.

>>82556347
>>82556299

Were prime Numenorian men more formidable foes than elves in battle?

Also how old is Aragorn in the movies? Doesn't he live to be hundreds of years old too?

>>82548665
I don't think it did this.

I think the rings effects were a coincidence to some degree. It actually takes Bilbo and Frodo to a different realm entirely iirc.

Depending what race uses it the effect was different but it only truly answers to its master. There's no definite logic to how it works.

>>82547741
Economical knowladge, tax policy etc.

Why couldn't the spooky army have cleaned up Mordor on their way out

>>82548967
>since the ring turned him invisible as well
It shifted him to the wraith realm. Same way the ringwraiths are invisible to other mortals under their robes.

>>82557132
He's around 80 in the movies

>>82556932
Shift + click on a thread to hide it. The more you know...

>>82557158
Well he's just a spring chicken then

>>82557132
>Were prime Numenorian men more formidable foes than elves in battle?
It depends on which elves we're talking about. Someone like Legolas? Might be.
>Also how old is Aragorn in the movies?
88

Viggo Mortensens accent is weird and his pronunciation of Legolas especially is funky

>>82553550
Gandalf says in the book that even Ancalagon wouldn't be able to destroy the ring.

>>82557132
Another way to answer your question would be this, which is part of the story of Hurin Thalion, probably the best human warrior to have ever lived.
>Last of all Hurin stood alone. Then he cast aside his shield, and wielded an axe two-handed; and it is sung the axe smoked in the black blood of the troll-guard of Gothmog until it withered, and each time that he slew he cried 'Aure entuluva! Day shall come again!' Seventy times he huttered that cry; but they took him at last alive, by the command of Morgoth, for the Orcs grappled him with their hands, which clung to him still though he hewed off their arms; and ever their numbers were renewed, until at last he fell buried beneath them. Then Gothmog bound him and dragged him away to Angband with mockery.

Why didn't they just put the ring in the bin

>>82557556
Someone would have just got it out m8

>>82557556
get a life bin that ring.

>>82544975

I hadn't seen this pic before. I can't stop laughing at it...

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>>82551352
>>82553613
>>82554532
>>82554680
>>82554742
>>82557016

>>82549254
Arabic word for earth is Ard, I noticed a lot of the namings in the books have very close resemblance to arabic and i liked that.

Why didn't Sauron just make another ring?

>>82557585
But if you put something like a snotty tissue on it nobody would want to touch it

>>82557905

Why didn't the ring just become it's own master

>>82553688
Fucking dumb lmao

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>No 18+ version of LotR that shows the Orcs pillaging

missed oppertunity

>>82555009
Fucking racists elves

>>82549254
You stupid bitch, Tolkien created languages based on old english, scandinavian and german.

>>82555033
The valar can't interfere with the middle earth affairs. That's why they sent the wizards and Gandalf (again) to guide men not to do the work.

>>82558104
Damn rape is so disgusting

[Spoiler]sauce ? [/spoiler]

>>82558429
Goblin Slayer. It's not good tho. Nor is it a hentai AFAIK.

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>>82557905
why didnt Aragorn go to Mt Doom and craft his own Ring of Power?

Why didn't he just give it to to transgender as a cockling and then cut his dick off.

Why was fucking milhouse not able to grab da freedom frog from behind and jump start the shit in the corporate office of Saruman coz y know the had mad shit going down and he coulda sucked that fairy until he shrivelled up and tom bombasil was a fucking ass hat


Did you think galandriel enjoyed anal?

>>82559980
What did he mean by this?

Why didn't they just get five thousand horsemen and Frodo to charge into Mordor and get Frodo to quickly throw the Ring into the mountain while all the Orcs were distracted?

Why didn't Galadriel just riverdance into Mordor with the ring?

>>82561452
Why didn't She just keep it as a toe ring?

why didnt they just let Robocop carry the ring. he is not corruptible by the ring

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNBLZoH09Qk

>>82548562
>sauron can't fight
>gandalf can't fight
>ghosts can't fight
They literally fight in the movies you fucking retard

>>82547741
Knowledge of trade routes, political posturing regarding high ground, etc

>>82560655
They're testing textbots

I contributed far too many posts to this car crash of a thread 7 or 8 hours ago, and it's STILL alive?

>>82562891
No, they deleted it

>>82562907
then why didnt galileo just delete the ring.

>>82559674
Looks like the Hobbit

>>82558405
Then how come Morgoth was fine with stomping around stealing the elf's shit? You mean to tell me the Valar can't interfere until one of them gets bored and does it anyway and even then, the other Valar who if teamed up could stop him easily don't act?

So I read LotR a little over a year ago and really enjoyed it and want more Tolkien now. Would you anons recommend I read The Hobbit or the silmarillion next?

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Why didn't soros just pirate the ring

>>82563675
Silmarillion for autism
Hobbit for comfy

>>82547601
Lol

>>82549277

>steel isnt strong, boy. Flesh is stronger!
>gets decapitated by steel sword

>>82544975
Why didn't they just lick the ring? Sauron wouldn't want it with their icky germs all over it.

>This thread is still alive
So, did everyone have a good sleep? What did you dream about?

>>82564200
The One Ring, obviously

>>82564200
Cate Blanchett's feet.

>>82563675
you shouldve read the Hobbit first

Why didn't they just bump this thread?

>>82564638

The Hobbit is a children's story though

>>82563450
Kind of

It's basically like this: you're in a family with a bunch of sisters and brothers. Most of them are cool but ones an autistic neckbeard. Your dad got you a cool open world rpg game that you and all your siblings can play together. Everyone's having fun but the autistic neckbeard brother is fucking annoying. He literally runs around doing the autistic REEEEEE screeching. You try to ignore him but every now and then he comes over and smashes the stuff you made because it's cooler than the literal shit he made. He's your brother though and you know it's not his fault he's autistic so you can't just beat him up and he has retard strength anyway, and even if you did beat him up your dad would probably beat your shit even worse so all you can really do is make some characters that'll stop your brothers characters from coming over to your base

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How come souron didnt block off the entrance to mt doom or at least put a cave troll to guard it?

>>82566638
there wasn't exactly a plethora of orcs to just guard random places

>>82553208
nice

>>82566638
He did hire a cave troll to guard it, it was on it's union-mandated 30 minute break when the Hobbits broke into private property and violated the NAP. Fucking commies ruined Mordor.

>>82557158
87

>>82549091
>themarysue

>>82554542
because in the book there was no entrance. He'd need a huge army to defend the entire mountain.

>>82555074
because at the end of the second age the power of the elves was gone.

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when will we see deleted scenes?

>>82569686
25th Anniversary Edition Blu-Ray.

>>82569976
>2001+25=2026
20-fucking-26?

>>82566638
Because that entrance doesn't exist in the books. It's just how Jackson wanted it visualised.

>>82570007
Yup. Rumours have long claimed that it'll include the Scouring of the Shire ending.

>>82570031
>Scouring of the Shire ending.
i thought they didn't film that? or did they. i know we saw glimpses in galadriels mirror but did they really film an entire segment's worth of footage for that alone? even the conclusion?

why didn't they just give the ring back to gollem, he seemed to have done a good job so far?

>>82570082
There was an interview somewhere, where they said something like "there is like 8 hours of film we didn't use". So the rumour is they shot it and it didn't work or made it way too long or some shit so they cut it, but it was filmed. So they're going to bung it on the 25th Anniversary and get more shekels. This is further supported by the official Lord of the Rings tabletop game (made by Games Workshop) not only had rules for Sharky and Wormy, but models too. Suggesting it was a planned ending but they changed their mind.

Other content is more of the Haradim and Easterlings, apparently.

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>>82570139
cos he's put it on his wrinkly dick and it'll extend his dick life for another 500 years and when he dies, his dick will still be wriggling with the ring around it. he then will become the new dark lord. and this time, there is no way to kill him cos how do you defeat a dick?

>>82547741
filipino

>Sam walks all the way to Mt McDoom
>climbs it
>little to no food or water all the way
>still fat

Is fatness a genetic disease in Middle earth?

>>82570215
cool. but if they ever do release all that stuff i hope it's not cam footage with the timer on the screen and shit. i want proper quality film footage so maybe someone can edit it into the films

>>82548837
why didn't they get it out of gollums cave then

>>82570082
not him but it's a rumour based on the fact that Star Wars OT has had fuck loads of editions with loads more content tapped on every so often.

There was an interview with the guy who did the Behind the Scenes stuff on the DVD who said

>“there’s also another approximately 20 hours of materials and ideas that we specifically saved for future use.”

>“the future of when these treasures will see the light of day is unknown“


on top of Jackson saying there is possibly going to be a 25th anniversary one.

why didn't gadaffi just shove the ring up his ass? he doesn't have to use it. so everytime he takes a shit, the shit will travel through the ring, so the shit becomes the new dark lord

>>82544975
Bait thread but I'll bite anyway. The ring wants to get back to Sauron. It will influence nature itself to return to its master.

>>82570403
why don't they put a cup upside down over the ring so it can't escape

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why they allow a hobo with a magic sword become the King of one of the richest kingdoms? the fucks he knows about economy, taxes or diplomacy?

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>>82570293
Who knows, sadly. It's all based on interviews and crap like >>82570336 said.

There is obviously lots of deleted scenes and a lot of it will be alternate shots, but stuff like this was outright cut, so I can see the Scouring of the Shire being cut for being 'too dark' or 'unhappy' or 'too long'.

It's a guess, it's possible...

>>82570452
It would coerce somebody nearby to take the cup off the ring. If you stuck it down, it'd compel you to break it off, if you buried it, it'd compel you to dig it up. This is literally covered in the books. Glorfindel says "throw it into the ocean" and Gandalf goes "lol that won't work fageit".

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>>82570251
KEK

>>82566491
Never thought of it like that, but it kinda fits. Not bad.

>>82557154
in the books the same army that breaks the siege of minas tirith is the army that marches on the black gate with what's left of Rohan, so there's no plot hole originally. It's all men in the books with the exception of the hobbits, gandalf, Legolas, and Gimli, the ghost army ruined the whole "men have fight for their own world" theme the books had.

>>82569459
Post yfw The Shire gets tomahawked by Burger King's private military

>>82547741

Force x Velocity

>>82544975
There's no orbit, lotr world is flat.

If the movies were cast today
What black actress would play Galadriel and which black actor would play Aragorn and what white actress would play Arwen in the final movie done in association with Blacked. It would be a two hour movie of her getting the bbc in all her holes.

>>82562984
Because the ring is far too important a part of galeo's kit. His ult is a game changer if used right.