The Martian

it's Reddit: The Movie

>>82532771

it's reddit

literally the most reddit movie ever created

>>82532771
>im going to science the shit out of this
-direct quote from the movie

>>82532771
/tv/ is a bunch of literal redditors who come here to pretend to not be redditors

They actually did it. They actually fucking made a movie about Reddit. No dog whistles, no allusions, just pure straight Reddit pleb shit. Every fucking scene is a meme. EVERY SINGLE ONE. There isn't one joke or quote on this movie that wouldn't get you at least 50 upvotes. If you plan on voting for Bernie Sanders this flick is for you. If you own a fedora this movie is for you. If you like taking turns with your girlfriend getting rammed in the ass by imported black cock this meme is for you. If you're a normal fucking person who votes Republican and enjoys films about ideas, characters, and interesting settings this piece of shit movie is not for you and given the fact that there are no movies like that anymore because children and spergs can't get enough meme cuck shitposting you're better off just finding another hobby or killing yourself.

Fuck Reddit, fuck memes, and fuck whoever likes this piece of shit

>>82532878
That line is in the book though

I liked it overall except for >>82532878
And the way he shoots air out of his thumb to fly at the end

>>82532771
I enjoyed it but I don't think I'd watch it more than once

>>82532901
Reddit BTFO! They'd be in suicide watch if anyone thought they had the balls to actually do it.

>>82532771
The same reason straight 4chan prefers Rocco or Max Hardcore to white sheets - healthy sex between happy smiling normies is a perverse reminder of why you are here forever. Chaddy McApplePie persevering over adversity to return to Jodie Cuckedustein just isn't this Bhutanian Acrylic Silkscreen Transfer Scrimshaw board's cup of tea.

>>82532903
Yeah, the book sucks too

>>82533167
ALso,

it's reddit.

>>82532771
The only thing I didn't like about this movie was how the protagonist never seemed particularly worried about his situation

>>82532833
>>82532837
>t. redditors here for le edgy contratian memes
>>82532771
It was good.

This movie could've been good, but sadly it's reddit.

The book is also reddit

>>82533308
sup reddit

>>82533257
Most Astronauts are stone cold cyborgs irl so it's pretty accurate.

Just listen to how cool these pilots are in black box recordings and remember that Astronauts are the top 0.01% of pilots.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9WgC4OijPA

It's reddit

>>82532771
Appeals to reddit sensibilities

>>82532924
That's essential white male who graduated high school in the late 2000's core.

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>>82532854
no that belongs to Deadpool

I dont think the movie is to blame, it's a pretty straightforward adaptation of the book, quite less cringy in fact.

The book is just pure shlock, not literature

>>82532901
Outdated pasta sm h

>>82532771
The presentation of this film is incredibly cliche. The dialogue, the characters, and the story fall into the same tired tropes that we've seen for ages. If you've seen enough film you'd find The Martian incredibly predictable and boring. The one interesting facet of the movie are the clever ways in which Damon survives on Mars.

And when people say "reddit", they refer to the sense of humor. It appeals to lame nerds who gush themselves over how AWESOME science is. Cheap lines like "I'm gonna science the shit out of this!" aren't funny. Quips that weaken the integrity of the characters are frowned upon by real film purveyors

>>82532771

If this movie was any more reddit the blu-ray version would have touchscreen upvote buttons

>>82533257

Not only is he not worried, but absolutely nothing changes about his character or his outlook on things throughout the whole movie.

>>82532771
Clunky dialog (literally "in English? xD"), pleb-tier "random" humor ("I'm a space pirate!"), etc.

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ITT: hipsters who are completely braindead and can't create a single iota of their own opinions instead regurgitating fetid garbage from their own incompetent peers.

>>82533754

shut the fuck up Damon it was shit and you're shit

>>82533420
Holy shit, i think I'm going to have nightmares today.

>>82533257
Astronauts are trained to be calm even in the most shittiest of situations.

I think military pilots and submarine sailors also undergo the same kind of mental training.

>>82532771
Extremely boring with ZERO tension because there's one character. Should have had the whole crew get left behind (ship breaks in the storm or something) then at least there would be chances of somebody actually dying. One guy go crazy and try to horde all the food or something. ANYTHING to make the movie exciting and watchable.

>>82533257
That's because he was the only person there. He knew the movie had to go on for at least another hour so he was set. Hence why he didn't even care about blowing up several times he knew he'd be fine.

>>82532771
Too many MCU-tier quips. Quips are not a replacement for character development

>>82532771
They changed the ending to amazingly retarded one and also completely cut the best part of the book.

For an overall realistic and mostly scientifically accurate movie it's paced like a fucking summer blockbuster and all the computers have the Transformers interface which explains everything that's going on in 120 pt all caps font.

The book was a neat little story for nerds. Movie is competent and beautiful to look at, but very flawed, just like all of his later movies.

>>82533329
>hahaha it's so funny when I come here and shittalk reddit lmao
>reddit is the center of the internet so I spend all my time on other sites bringing up reddit
Seriously, fuck off

>>82534029
Not even trained, they pick only level headed individuals bordering on the autistic for space missions. And then train them.

>won Golden Globe for Best Musical/Comedy and Best Actor in a Musical/Comedy

>>82533420
There's a difference between being cool headed in tense situations and cracking one liners to yourself

>make a movie about a guy struggling to survive in isolation
>give him no character progression whatsoever

>>82532771
>quips
>dude science lmao for people who pretend to be intellectual by caring about science

Arrival is part of a recent series of movies I'd describe as Dunning-Kruger Sci-Fi. Along with Interstellar and to a somewhat lesser extent The Martian, they perfectly play to the crowd that fancies themselves as (and, to be fair, may truly be) smarter than average audiences but are not as smart as genuinely "smart people." They are movies designed to make the audience feel smart by introducing complicated and heady concepts, and then holding the viewer's hand the entire way through until there is next to nothing to be left up to interpretation.

If you didn't already know the twist in Arrival by the time she was in the milky section of the ship with the aliens AT LEAST, you perfectly fit the audience I am talking about.

There is no reward for being smart while viewing these movies because everything is eventually spelled out in big fridge magnet letters. Any clever idea is made so transparent that even the most simple in the audience will get it. It also removes any reward for rewatching or trying to figure out what you just saw.

Granted, there is a difference between Arrival and Interstellar. I think where Interstellar was pretending to have a brain it actually didn't have, Arrival has a brain that it is refusing to let the audience use.

Completely disappointing movie.

Also
>so that just happened

>>82532771
Too much dialogue. I get that they establish that he talks to himself, and that helps him through the situation, but the confessional video diary felt like it was there so plebs wouldn't be bored or confused.
It also seemslike everything he tries works the first time except for burning off his eyebrows and the airlock that forgot how airlocks work.

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>>82533420
>POWA
>POWA
>FURAPPA

>>82532771

there's clearly grass and other plants all throughout that shot

>>82534608
It's Jessica Chastain's shit actually

>>82534480
Could you have gotten your point across in a more condescending way? Maybe bring up your 167 IQ next time.

>>82532771
I think the movie "Mission to Mars" did the whole stranded on mars idea better.

>>82534788
my nigga
Mission to Mars is pure kino

He just solves every problem so quickly without a problem. They skip over a lot of the stuff from the book too.

>>82532771
They should have hired Pratt.

>>82534283
sup reddit

>>82534788

Doesn't that have them going to the stupid "face on Mars" at the end?

>>82532924
all of them are great. You just have shit taste.

>>82532771
it depicts a white male conquering yet another planet

like.. its 2017 can we cool it with the fucking white supremacy already?? like

i just had to leave the theatre

i was literally shaking

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>>82534169
Dice

>>82532771

I
DUN
THA
MAFF

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It is the most self righteous, self congratulatory movie/book I have ever seen. It is one of the best stories i have ever read while being the most cringworthy piece of trash of the last decade. Its about as hard as scifi can get, which i love. But it is tainted by the "i fucking love science" type personality of the writer. The technical parts of the story are so cool but then it would be followed by some stupid quip which would make me want to pull my hair out.
>science the shit out of
>take that armstrong
>space pirate LMAO XDDD!
Andy weir should have wrote the general story and then passed it on to someone else for the dialogue/personality.

In other words, it's Reddit: the Movie.

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>>82534956

>>82532771
I liked the concept and effects. Movie didn't feel boring but nothing special. Better than gravity.

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>>82532771
Had way more aliens than I cared for.

>>82534970
>>82534827
Yes the ending is a little out there with the aliens and what not, but everything from the initial mission, to the survival aspect, to the crew returning to mars to rescue the stranded astronaut was done better than Martian.

When I was watching the Martian all I could think about was how blatantly it was ripping of Mission To Mars.

>>82532771
Thought he shit out his guts from the thumbnail.

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FFFWWWWWRRRRR

us nerds, am i right ? xD

>most upvotes determines what gets seen
>enough downvotes will bury an opinion
>mods remove shot for the slightest reason
>all of these factors make it a perfect breeding ground for circlejerk shit libs
It was doomed from the start.

>>82532771
Because it apparently made a total abortion of the book. Like in the book He scienced the shit out of stuff but in the movie it was just a 30 second montage.
I don't even know how to Reddit. Far as I'm concerned that website is full of nerds who married fat lesbians that made them get vasectomies.

>>82534169
sounds better already, teebeeh

>>82532771
because /tv/ hates you

you thought I was gonna type "fun" in the spoiler tags, didn't you

if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight

>>82534335
Please don't give these reddit cunts false hope, they'll only get even more disappointed and shoot up a school.

>>82535308
My mom loves this flick.

>>82532771
i love that film. haters can fuck off.

>>82535308
Cool, have a upvote

>>82534739
could you not tell that it was copypasta LOL

>>82535308
space pirate