Save your money kids Avoid this trash

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>io9

>>82488488
I guess it's true

not like anyone can be disappointed by WW or Mummy being shit

>>82488488
>gawker

no surprise that it's bad, but why would you be disappointed by that? of course it is. you can't keep making the same monster movie over and over and expect the monster to still be scary.

>>82488488
you expect me to take io9/gawker seriously?

>>82488488
And nothing of value was lost!

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>io9 is a blog launched in 2008 by Gawker Media.

>>82488488
>low quality thread posted from a phone
this is satire, right? this is spot on why phone posters should be disallowed to start threads, you can't be serious

>And while the characters might realize they made a mistake relatively quickly, the film is not quick in getting to that point. Alien: Covenant is criminally backloaded, with almost an hour going by before the crew lands on the planet and another half-hour or so after that before the thrills start to really kick in. In that long slog of exposition, you spend a lot of time with the new characters but still manage not to learn much about them

>So Alien: Covenant gets rid of everything good about Prometheus and takes all the mystery of Alien away. It basically makes both films worse.

worried.jpg

>>82488488
People said Prometheus was bad and i liked that, if this is no worse ill get my monies worth.

>people needed to watch this movie before coming to the conclusion that it is gonna be total shit

>io0
>journalism

Pick one. These guys were shit two or three years ago, I can only imagine now.

>>82488653

>Muh phone poster bogyman

>>82488488
That crown will soon pass to WW to be fair.

>>82488607
Noomi is cute!

>>82488488
I liked Prometheus, ill probably watch this regardless of what gawker tells me.

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>>82489216
nah because the only way that can be disappointing is if it's actually good

>>82488677

So the criticism is that its slow paced like the original?

>>82488488
Propaganda from the corn industry. They're always trying to stifle and destroy ANYTHING that has to do with wheat so that their corn sales can grow.

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>io9

>>82489304

A slow pace is fine as long as you're actually picking up relevant information along the way. If after 90 minutes the only thing I know about Danny McBride's character is "Dude weed LMAO" I won't be impressed.

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>>82489328

That's right folks go see Marvel's Guardians of of the Galaxy Vol.2 instead! It's in theaters now!

>So what is Alien: Covenant? It's garbage.
>Ugh.
>Billy Krudup
>The audience laughed a lot. They actually clapped a couple of times, usually after the Xenomorph had killed someone in a particularly vicious way. I wondered about that: Why?
>The four-plus-minute scene that I mentioned earlier, a slice of which is featured in that trailer, is important because it’s not actually in the movie. Like, at all.
>I would assume that it was originally supposed to be part of the film; it seems odd that it wouldn’t be, and it’s the only time James Franco says things while alive.

bravo destructoid

(did they complain about the TED Talk not being in Prometheus?)

>>82489637
that destructoid review reads like the ravings of an angry manchild who thinks that watching sci-fi blockbusters from the 70s and 80s means he's a movie buff

>>82489251

this needs looney tunes music

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>>82488597
The scary ship sailed long ago. These movies are the Rogue One of the Alien franchise. Filler.

>>82488561
>io9

>"i guess it's true guise"

Fuck off you limp-dicked faggot.

>>82488677
>both you and the faggot who wrote the article never watched Alien

getout.jpg

>>82488488
This generation's Alien Resurrection?

Alen 3 is half bad but not awful.

>>82489251
the fuck?
WHY?

I knew it was going to be shit the minute I saw the trailer

I suppose if you're a pseudo-intellectual numale who writes for io9 then yeah its a disappointment but anybody with brains saw this as a big piece of shit already

the only review that matters will be redlettermedia

everything i've seen so far has been contradictory, with some claiming that it's a rehash of Alien, it isn't enough like Alien, too Prometheus, not enough Prometheus, too weird, too familiar, etc etc etc

only mike and jay are actually going to approach this as its own movie on its own merits.

>>82489251
is that the alien that comes out the dudes back?
why does it look so shitty and fleshy?

>>82490072
Why what?

>>82490543
this>>82490534

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>>82490534

different breed of ayy.

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>>82490691
fuck this shit
is it so fucking hard to just make a movie with the actual aliens
stop with this black goo / squid baby / alien zombie / alien starfish / new retarded baby alien bullshit already

>>82490861
because we've seen 4 Alien films already with them. Like, what else do you need to see...

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BWAHAHAHAHAH

RIDLEY SCHLOCK STRIKES AGAIN

ALL HAIL BASED IRON JIM

>Trusting reviews from people who aren't fans
>Didnt get Prometheus
>Therefore not understand this one as well

what the sequel to prometheus is crap? heavens to betsy i am shocked

I'll watch it for the wheat and bomber harris

>>82490959
>>Didnt get Prometheus
you have to be mentally challenged to "get it". it was a clusterfuck shitshow for pseudo-intellectuals

>>82491059
how the fuck was Prometheus "pseudo intellectual."

nigger do you even what that means?

>>82490861

there's always something new

>Aliens: the Queen
>3: Bambi-burster
>Resurrection: Newborn
>AvP: nothing new actually
>AvP:R: a Queen with dreadlocks
>Prometheus: Engineers, worm, squibblyboo, Deacon, mutated tattoo guy
>Covenant: goofy little monkey/Beluga whale hybrid aliens

>>82491059
>he didn't get Prometheus
n-no, it's actually for stupid people! downvote! downvote!

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Their marketing plastered this entire subway car with ads.

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There was a kid hiding in their hoodie crying due to it. Their older sibling was making fun of them and the mother was ignoring it.

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They must have spent a ton of money. Look at the detail. They even got the slimy distopian setting down.

>>82491213
>>82491174
>>82491137
thnx for sharing anon, have some (You)s

How much wheat is actually in the movie?

>>82489191
duck you you ducking Fargo

>>82491137
>>82491174
>>82491213
Where is that?

>>82488677
>almost an hour going by before the crew lands on the planet
drop'd

>>82489251
what early 2000's Hanna-Barbera adaptation is this?

>>82491432
it was the same early render they used for the press preview in december

the actual movie has finished cgi

>>82490262
I'm also looking forwards to your review, Mike or Jay

>>82490691
lol is this the baby voldemort

>>82491059
>Im stupid so everyone else must be right
Sure

It has gay white males and interracial relationships, how could anyone in the media possibly talk bad about this movie?

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>>82491351
Baaahhhhston

>>82489637
>audience watching a film
>clapping
Fucking why? Burgers are fucking retarded

>>82489328
>wheatposting
Save it for the movie release

>>82490915
how about a fucking facehugger/chestburster/alien
>oh but this one bursts from the back and the alium has a down sydrome face and is pale
how fucking original

>>82491351
That's Boston's subway.

>>82490861
>actual aliens

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>>82488488

>io9

>>82489304
slow paced, yes
but they landed on the alien planet in 20 minutes, you see the alien pods at 30 minutes, you get to see the face hugger at 25, alien chest burst at 55, and the adult alien just after 1 hour

it was slow paced, but it had a ton of shit happening

79%

>>82488488
I was going to pass on this and see Baywatch regardless.

>>82493603
>shit talks Aliens
>decides to go see Easy Sex Jokes The Movie