Alien Covenant Reviews

I hope this is real, that's Lynch-tier kino

>>82476370
It's mentioned in the Uproxx and Wired reviews:

>If David has motivations, they're impossible to extrapolate, beyond a vague hatred for humanity coupled with a desire to play Doctor Moreau by gene-tweaking what will become the familiar xenomorphs. A kiss he shares with Walter – possibly meant to represent David's vague ambition for self-determination and urge to explore his existence? – may be one of the most baffling moments ever committed to film

>>82476161
have you seen it?

>>82476370
As in it's so weird that it off-puts the typical movie-goer and they don't even know it 'means something?'

>>82476161
Kino

This is Japanese girl comics tier

>>82476161
so did he copy Nier Automata Adam & Eve kino? shit

>>82476161
I always thought that robot was one queer looking motherfucker.

>>82476937
that game literally copied every science fiction trope possible, it's fucking garbage

David is Xenomorph Creator or not i'm pretty serious about it.

Could it be that its meant to convey his narcissism?

>>82477422
sauce

>>82476161
>Then David and Walter kiss

Great, an alien film that wants the retarded tumblr shipping audience.

Ridley is a fucking hack.

>>82477463
reach harder

>>82476421
>>82476161

fuck I'm so sick of this gay shit.

>>82479372
it not gay.
its gay incest masturbation

>>82476161
This better be fucking bullshit.

ok i kinda want to see this now so i can laugh

>>82479468
ridley's a fucking hack and alien is dead to me now.

Fassbender single handily carries this film.

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>The camera swings back and forth in a long take as one Fassbender tells the other about “fingering holes,” something that happens for several straight minutes.

this is the best Alien movie ever.

>>82476161

Best parts of Prometheus was David just doing this thing

I look forward to more of that

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>Then David and Walter kiss

>>82479372

I highly doubt this kiss is meant to show homosexuals in a positive light

>>82479624

For all intense and purposes, you shouldn't of used a phrase in this post if you didn't understand it properly

> it's a "Normies can't handle surreal or ambiguous moments in film" episode

Why don't people like to think about things?

>>82476161
>78% on Rotten Tomatoes
Good. If it was over 90% I would be concerned that it's a poor flick watered down for mass appeal.

I want to watch a sci-fi not be subjected to lame-ass human emotions. If I wanted that, I'd watch Star Trek.

>>82476161
Fuck yeah

Robots fucking is my fetish

>>82479468
>a kiss between two robots who look the same
>gay
No anon, YOU are the gay

>>82476161
If i'd made myself a brother I'd probably teach him to play my flute too.

>>82479870
rly makes u think..........

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>people are surprised that themes such as sexuality and self-discovery are explored in a Ridley Scott movie
I want nu/v/ to go and stay go

>>82480512
>Alien
>sexuality
>self-discovery
I want gender studies majors to leave to put it bluntly.

based dementia

>>82476421
>one of the most baffling moments ever committed to film

>>82479834
What was wrong with that post?

ywn live the squidlygoo era ever again ( ._.)

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>>82480589
I'm so sorry you just don't get it, anon.

>>82480512
goddamn that's hot

>>82480589
have you watched the film or heard any commentary scott made on the art direction? why do you think he chose a sex obsessed psychopath as his artistic influence? or why the crashed alien ship looks like a female reproductive system, has vaginal shaped openings that people enter through, has corridors lined with phalic shapes, is moist, and is full of eggs? why is the ships onboard operating system called mother? why is the aliens head a giant phallus? why does the alien rape lambert? why does ash refer to the alien as Kane's son? have you missed all of these things (and more) or is it intentional ignorance?

>>82480673
>pic
deep stuff.....

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when is David going to have sex with an Alien?

>>82480589
>https://plotandtheme.com/2016/05/18/the-xenomorph-and-the-perversion-of-sex-in-alien/

>>82480657

"single handily" is a nonsense phrase that simply sounds like "single-handedly".

Much like "intense and purposes", "should of" and "could care less", it's physically nauseating to anyone who is actually fluent in English.

>>82480512
Yeah, bruh, let's just have a couple of fagdroids fag it up, doesn't matter if they're fucking robots who don't do shit like that, it's 2017! SO PROGRESSIVE!

>>82480718
wtf i love alien now

>>82480512

>a Ridley Scott movie

At least do your homework before you act superior

>>82480752
>clickbait blogs written by English majors

>>82480744
B-but why?

>>82480797
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2316204/
Maybe you should

>>82480755
Irregardless

>>82476161
>78% on Rotten Tomatoes

So same as Prometheus? Bravo Ridley

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>>82480768

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>>82480854

Watch it you cheeky little cunt

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>>82480589

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>>82480810

because there's no way an Engineer is going to trust him enough.

>>82480904
Shut the fuck up, Tumblr pussy.

>>82480967
>our creators are faggots
Makes sense when you really think about it

Were does this movie even fit into the timeline?
this franchise has gotten to goddamn complicated

>>82479624
Retard, feel stupid

>>82481016

10 years after Prometheus, 20-30 years before Alien

So what happened to Shaw?

>You never saw highbrow tumblr fags pretend the Alien vs Predator were deep
>But they do when the flicks are made by Ridley Scott
Makes You Think, Doesn't It?

>>82481070

It fucking sucks that David is the one to create the xenomorphs. How does that even fit into the timeline when the original space jockey was meant to be old as all hell?

>>82480589
>doesn't know about the trans character getting raped in the first Alien movie
hehe you suck bro

>>82480673

What did Giger mean by this?

>>82481113

She was a fembot all along

>>82476161
praying this is real

>>82481113

She's still alive in hibernation

>>82481113

ASSBENDERED

>>82481160

he didn't create it, he just made fresh ones after spending a lot of time looking at whatever records the Engineers had on the ship from the end of Prometheus, and on the planet in Covenant.

but when Ridley changes his mind again, the black goo provides a convenient way for the Jockey to have just got there 5 minutes before the Nostromo showed up.

>>82481341
So what exactly was David's motivation for creating fresh aliens? Is it all simply morbid curiosity?

>>82476161
>Then David and Walter kiss
DROPPED

>>82481175
literally fan fiction

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>>82481398
>implying Aliens is fan fiction
>implying the alien didn't do something to Lambert

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>it's now called Alien Covenant rather than Alien: Covenant
What the fuck
What's an alien covenant?
Will covenants feature a lot in this movie?

>>82481398
Jim Cameron's fan fiction, so it counts
https://alienseries.wordpress.com/2012/10/20/nostromo-crew-profiles/

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>>82481443

>implying Aliens is fan fiction

it is now.

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>>82481513
Yeah, still those movies were always about birth, rape, sex and gender.

>>82481502

studios think putting a colon in the title scares audiences away, mainly because the Star Wars prequels had two of them in each title.

>Star Trek: Into Darkness
>Star Trek Into Darkness

>Star Wars: Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
>STAR The Last Jedi WARS

>>82481508
>United States has expanded, probably taking in South America, as well as Canada, to become the United Americas.
>The UK is a full-fledged Socialist state.
>a civil war on Torin Prime broke out into a larger space-war at the beginning of the 22nd century, a war in which Dallas and Parker actively served in pilot/mechanic roles.
>there is a colony on the moon, now officially named Luna, which is the location of Ripley’s birth.

>>82480718
>why does the alien rape lambert
what?

>>82481532
nice pic cuck

>>82481508
>>82481592
>Kane was expelled from Medical Scholl for substance abuse. Treated for drug-inflicted embolism and stress.
>Ripley sues (and wins) the company for a maternity permit
>Lambert is a canadian, two-times divorced, male-to-female in utero trans
>Brett was the smartest of the crew. After failing a blood test, he receives treatment for alcoholism that causes him brain damage
>Parker escaped from a concentration camp by building a vehicle with scrap
>Ash is REDACTED

>>82481280
that he found female sexaulity terrifying

>>82481508
>“Cameron was young. He had just directed Terminator. Cameron had called a meeting to discuss his “next project.” Everyone knew Cameron had written a treatment for Alien 2 that nobody would touch because Alien was not a massive financial success. Alien 2 was not on the table. We expected a professional pitch from Cameron, an outline and a treatment of what he had in mind with a cursory budget; perhaps a couple assistants to run a slide show.

>Instead Cameron walked in the room without so much as a piece of paper. He went to the chalk board in the room and simply wrote the word ALIEN. Then he added an ‘S’ to make ALIENS. Dramatically, he drew two vertical lines through the ‘S’, ALIEN$. He turned around and grinned. We greenlit the project that day for $18 million.”

>>82481341
He create its but Alien That He Create it's "Look Similar but Different"

The eggs look different, the facehuggers are slightly different, the chestburster is completely different and the Alien is lacking the biomechanical elements.

Why not look same the Alien that we know if he is "True Creator ?"

>>82476161
I read a positive review. What was described doesn't suck. Here's to hoping.

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>>82481532
Have some more.

>>82481113
She is the alien now.

>>82481594
It doesn't kill her right away. It's strongly implied rape.

>>82480423
And then anon was the homosex

Explain Prometheus to me.
What the fuck did I watch.

>>82481751
>Ash is a faggot. [/Spoiler]

>>82482607
Those two scientists find coordinates. Weyland is interested by ulterior motives and finances the expedition stowing away secretly as he sees it as a chance to ask the engineers for eternal life. Instead the scientists seem to uncover a biological weapons testing thing created by the engineers and so the Android does some s*** causes some s*** and ultimately the last remaining scientists and the Android escape the c********** of the situation

>>82480673
someone explain this

>>82479372
theyre both robots

you guys need to make your minds up if robots have genders or not im sick of this flipflop

>GiTS= its not racist cos shes a robot!

>>82482718
Yeah, but was the black goo thing and why was that humanoid alien still alive while everyone else was dead

>>82481856
Fucking lol

>>82482769
Some kind of bioweapon. Some of the holographic scenes show a pilot sitting controlling. I assume it's that guy. He was piloting the ship but something happen who knows he was in stasis.

>>82481508

>LAMBERT, J.M
>Sex: Female [Natural]

what did they mean by this

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Can someone provide me spoilers ?

Plot twist: Giger was a virgin

>>82483849
David create Alien.

>>82484028
Does David kill Walter ?

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Just gonna leave this here.

>>82476370
>>82476421

Literally the ballsiest thing Ridley done since 1979.

>>82484153
Yes.

>>82484406
no that would be the counselor but you didnt watch that because it isnt a sequel or entry in a franchise.

>>82476161
Im gonna have to say, if this is in the movie, then im def gonna drop acid, and eat a pound od garlic chop suey before i go so i could blast ass in my theatre and create the 4d experience during that scene, ive waited all year to do on some good kino.

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>>82480744
very soon i hope

>>82480936
>alien ship docking.jpg

>>82479372
They're fucking androids

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>>82481280
>>82481837
>>82480673
>>82482733

>>82485585
No, but they got close

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>>82476161

>>82479834
>>82480755

I can't tell if you said "intense" instead of "intents" on purpose or not.

>>82480755
>>82487564
They're malopropisms and on the internets they're all intentional. Never address them.

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>>82487426
to be honest If i had a clone I'd do all sorts of sexual techniques with it

If you had a clone wouldn't you make make out with it?

I would.

>>82489262
You too? It wouldn't at all be gay. It'd be no different than jerking with your left hand instead of your right. I'd be like, *open trousers, takes out penis, plop into my mouth, sucks it a bit, protein swallow, reciprocated by the right* So you see, not gay at all.

>>82479766
Based Ridley.

>>82484819
That was such a good fucking movie. Pretty hardcore ending.

>>82489401
no, that'd be p. fucking gay

>>82489832
That's like calling wanking gay. You watch porn of a guy fucking some slut is that gay?

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>>82486286

>>82477441
don't bother, she never got nude

>>82476421
Gay robots are the least of this film's problems. Skull-bashing Xeno riding on a spacecraft in motion ...Ridley is in his 70s. He's not a smart filmmaker anymore.

>>82482510

i see no cringe

>tfw Ridley was following a theme...all the androids in the Alienverse are gay.
>Call wanted to fuck Ripley
>Ash wanted to fuck the xeno
>David wants to fuck his brother
>Bishop...was asexual?
but deep down wanted Apone's bbc.
Based Ridley, Kino is back on the menu after decades of shit.

>>82490227
You sound morbidly obese.

a white male tonge-kissing himself. hmmm. it really is poetry.

>>82479834
You've just invented grammar-hypocrisy memeposting. But. I can't tale if it was on porpoise or knot.

>same shit taste bloggers and reviewers that hated BvS and Prometheus also hate this

Guess this is up my alley

>>82490409
Yeah, i'm literally skipping Gordians of the Memelaxy 2: This time is even more R*ddit to watch this at least twice.

>>82481856
>Alien was not a massive financial success
The fuck?

>The only one perfect enough for Fassbender is Fassbender himself

How'd I not see it before?!

>>82490291

you sound like youre from a third world country

>>82484175
Explain the bonus situation please

>>82480755

But I love those sayings, they're a diamond dozen.

>>82481856
That looks like a good formula:

Avatar$

The Lion King$

Terminator$

The Aby$$

$tar War$$

>>82482510
Fuck off /pol/. You're losing converts by shitting up every legit film discussion you can find

>the good ship Covenant flees the Wheatplanet with the gay robot survivors
>Ship hits a surprise space iceberg
>Gay robot lovers cannot both use the single-occupant escape pod
>Ridley pays back Cameron for sweet poetic justice
>Titanic 2? No, we'll call it Titanics

Titanic$

>>82481594
>>82482541
For crystal clarity: Lambert's scene with the alien has it move it's tail between her legs before the cut away, where after we hear her scream for a good while. Compared to the extremely brief encounters others have with it, all ending in bites to the head - and not much screaming - it's pretty easy to extrapolate what happened to Lambert.

>>82486222
What device could you possibly be using that you couldn't save text? Remote viewing?

>its another 'android tries to figure out the meaning of existence masquarading as an alien film' flick

>Alien

>The "aliens" were actually "created" by a human robot from Earth.

Does this ruin everything?

>>82487564
>Shouldn't of

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>>82491802

maybe, but I'm waiting for the movie that shows the derelict from Alien crashing as a result of David fucking around to call total bullshit.

otherwise, it's safe to assume he didn't actually create anything, just brought back something the Engineers created a long time ago.

>>82491802
only if you're a manchild who thinks movies are simulations of universes and not expressive pieces of art

>David goes full Magneto on the Engineers

>>82490480
It wasn't. Audiences were generally luke warm and even confused by elements of the plot that went unanswered.

It was a middling success.

>>82492220

>The film was a commercial success, making $78,900,000 in the United States and £7,886,000 in the United Kingdom during its first run.

yes very middling

>>82492324
>According to 20th Century Fox accounts, however, by April 1980 when the film had earned a reported $100 million at the box office, after advertising, distribution fees, penalties and other costs were deducted, it was still recorded as having made a loss to the studio of $2.4 million. This was seen as an example of Hollywood creative accounting and was much criticised.[93] By August 1980 Fox was saying the film was $4 million in profit.[94]

Hey look from the paragraph just under yours.

Middling. Success.

>>82492470

>creative accounting

yeah just like Star Wars never made any profits.

>>82492524
Revisionist history with your favorite cult classics is fun and all but reality doesn't change just because you close your eyes real tight and wish hard enough.

Alien was a success but it was not a blockbuster. It was not a LE MESSAVE SACKSESS like you wish it was.

It was a mixed review, audience torn, moderate financial success. In today's terms it would be a solid 60% on the ol' tomatometer with 4chan arguing constantly over its merits, with a routine defense being "wait for the extended cut on blu ray! it will be kino!"

David is truly the most bizarre character I have ever seen. Nothing he does makes sense, and the only excuse is, "Well, he's a robot."

The only interesting thing to come out of these Alien prequels was The Engineer, and they fucked that up, too.

nice. it makes sense in a weird way. David was created as "the perfect being" by Weyland. David then tries to create "the perfect organism" with the Engineers goo. When he sees one of his own kind, Walter, he tries to recreate "love" because he is lonely.

>Gay White Robots From Outer Space
sounds kino to me

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>>82479372

You're triggered by this shit too? Scott did the same thing in fucking 1982, if he's anything, he's a hack for rehashing almost the same thing.


[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcJs4qJPQ_M

>>82494288
>Nexus 6 kisses his creator before killing him
>same thing as a robot getting romantically involved with another robot that looks just like it

>>82491721
what? that's not mine

>>82479682
xenosex when?

>aliens before

Literal bioweapon used by Engineers, same as ants to us,

>aliens now
WE WUZ CREATORS

>>82481502
>Will covenants feature a lot in this movie?
its a documentary about the xenomorphs tax policies. did you think these were all mere memes?

>>82480936
You know what gives away the fucking tracing? The bikini.