/bgt & /bgmt/

Literally no point watching till 5 past anyway

So stupid I kinda like it

>>82454755

Is this /M/'s guy

is that jerma

>3 piece suit top half
>faded jeans bottom half

worst part of this act

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>Another /brit/ general on another board

>>82454924
It's not a general, it's an ongoing show thread.

>inb4 kid can sing and dad cant and they make kid go solo

Why don't they ever say no to people

>>82455042
BTFO

>>82455082
i feel like a rite cunt now

>>82455042

You weren't alone in thinking that

Thankfully wrong

>>82455082
BTFO

they should've sent them through separately and have them compete against each other

>>82455132
BTFO again!

You can tell he diddles that kid on the weekends

So we know that Amanda is an old cock-hungry unfaithful harridan, but how many cocks has our Alisha had in her time?

5? 10? 20?

>>82455230
You mean Alesha Dixon, who was caught smuggling drugs into prison for her bf?

Many, she's a gang slag

So why are you watching this lowest common denominator shit?

>>82455341
let me have my guilty pleasures mate

>>82455341
Why are you posting in a thread about the lowest common denominator shit?

I've literally never seen them not put a kids choir through.

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>another kids choir

FEET
E
E
T

>had sex right there on the stage during their performance

dirty

>this guy
>straight

Why do they pretend? It's the current year. No one cares.

>>82455372
Acceptable answer.
>>82455397
Visibly mad and can't justify why he's watching this shit.

You could have just said you're a couple and not have wasted everybodys time.

>>82455554
The story is what gets you through to the next round

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>this pair were 7 & 6 when Paul Potts won

It's like those Sia music videos but much more shit.

got some thai sweet chilli sensations lads

Thought it was pretty boring

>>82455576
>knowing what year Paul Potts won

>>82455576
alri Paul

Should have got the golden buzzer for smashing his nuts on her pelvis in the name of entertainment.

Good lord this show has gone to shit. The show just isn't the same anymore. I didn't even bother watching the show last week. When did this show stop being good?

>>82455740
Susan Boyle ruined everything

>>82455664
Lucky man.

Where the fuck are all the risky and entertaining acts?

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>>82455772
Talent and ability must NOT be barriers to success in a modern tolerant Britain

spot on impressions

Don't they understand that if the disenfranchise this nice man with the 4 buzzers he might go and fight for ISIS?

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I love this guy

fuck y'all judges

hes gonna get through

irl shitposting

What a daft slag

Wait, what's the point of the buzzers if they can still vote him through?

>>82455772
If Simon doesn't 'get' it it doesn't go through. It's why it's all singers, dancers and dogs.

Hnng

ah yes, it's the classic foreign act to drive a narrative that Britain is the best.

contortionist acts over the years have been objectively some of the most talented

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>it's a foreigners come and totally upstage our talent episode

good god

can you imagine what they're capable of in the sack

Quite impressive desu, but still just a circus act

"But will the Queen like it?"

guaranteed to come 4th in their semi final

L E W D

the problem with dance groups etc. is they put so much effort into their audition, everything else after seems less impressive and rushed, just like that shadow dance group

That was absolutely fucking bonkers

>>82456067
I bet Liz loves a good freak show

>asians come on stage
>alesha says "you're not human"
jesus Alesha voted Brexit

>>82456113
Shadow dance still won

>>82455576
>Paul Potts


fucking hell BGT has been on for ten years

That's not worthy of a golden buzzer but some shit comic is?

Cant fucken escape from ant and dec

>>82456143

Personally I didn't care much for their later performances which I saw on youtube. Once the auditions ends I stop watching which I assume a lot of other people do too, leaving only plebs to vote.

>>82456170

>tfw 2007 was 37 years ago

>>82456274
Viewing figures only go up though

>>82456309
>Louis Walsh will die in your lifetime

>>82456309
>>82456322
There will come a point where Dermot O' Leary will be on TV and people will start saying "he looks old"

Bethany would get it

>tfw no threesome with mother and daughter slags

>>82456362
Big D will NEVER look old

Gonna be split up

Parent and kid acts should be refused entry at the door.

Why are they singing in different keys?

SAVAGE

Man I would be pissed if I were them, after the paki doing shit impressions got through

BTFO based Simon

>Has your gran heard this song before?
>Well yeah but she doesn't remember

B T F O
T
F
O

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WHY DIDNT THEY JUST FUCKING BUZZ THEN

16?

Fuckin hell, lanky twat looks about 22

Andrew Garfield's ugly cousin

>>82456486
wtf how are you like 1 minute ahead of me.

David Lynch's bastard son right there

>>82456486
Wow man, fuck you

alzheimer's is truly tragic but fuck off sob story cunt

just waiting for based mulhern now

Boo fuken hoo
Roll out the sob story

>my nan has Alzheimer's, put me through

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>>82456322
>We will all die in Stephen Mulhern's lifetime

Feels good man, DOOSH!

>>82456530
It's Ant, he's well known for posting on /tv/

Also this song is shit, if he gets through he'd better hire his braindead nan a gigilo

he cant even sing

>>82456486
Inb4 amanda cries

Do people really have close relationships with their grandparents?

Ah yes, singing in an over exaggerated English accent, that hasn't been done to death by hipster bands like Mumford and Sons already

He's shit, fuck you BGT for letting hi through

>>82456602
BOOM!

>>82456578
We wuz kangs

At least his nan will be able to forget that pile of wank

i wanna fuck amandas pits while sucking on aleshas toes

>>82456660
kek

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>people posting earlier than everyone else

Is stv behind itv? This is unfair and biased. How am I supposed to make witty comments when other anons will beat me to it?

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>82456660
U fucking mad man

>>82456170
*11

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>>82456684

>>82456691
OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD

HE REIGNS FROM HEAVEN ABOVE

WITH WISDOM POWER AND LOVE

OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD

>>82456691
I'm in England on ITV m8 (on a proper telly) and I dunno how that lad is miles ahead

>>82456794
>>82456794

http://sweetraptorjesus2.ytmnd.com/

>>82456691
Freeview is definitely ahead of satellite and cable

desu I thought bgt would finish at 9, then it'd be bgmt 9-10, then I'd have a bit of a gap before MOTD

fug

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>>82456842

sad bowtie

>Hoop Guy

More like /our guy/.

>Amanda Holden judging talent

Never fails to make me laugh. Plus she's had Les Dennis' balls on her chin.

literal sex offender

>>82456920
Mulhern definitely had a moment alone with him

what is he saying? hook? hoot? hoop?

>hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy hoop guy

>don't laugh at me YOU CUNTS

What did Hoop Guy mean by this?

Make way for best bgt hula hoop act

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siJq3rbv_a4

HE'S MY HOOP GUY <3

>Simon and Alesha singing and doing hula hoops

What the fuck man

>YOU SING IT AND I'LL HOOP IT
>YOU SING IT AND I'LL HOOP IT
>YOU SING IT AND I'LL HOOP IT
>YOU SING IT AND I'LL HOOP IT

>>82456940
when she headlined her only West End musical she found it so hard that she practically gave up and went on sick leave, which ended up tanking ticket sales.

I'm still confused as to why she's a judge.

Dem hips tho

>2017
They STILL have David walliams and Alesha Dixon

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>through to the next round
>this is the current standard of talent in the UK

>>82457001
toppest kek

>inb4 David's golden buzzer

Hooperotic

>playing songs the audience likes is a talent

>yfw the "next round" doesnt involve them performing at all, but literally just the judges standing around a table, giving a few more no's to acts that they had previously given yesses to

Wtf is this cutaway to two mums in the audience to hear them discuss the act lmao

Yeah, we don't need your life story

Gilf alert

Alright Annie Nightingale

real talk I'd hire her for a club night

She's just typing on a laptop

I'm doing that right now, where's my fucking standing ovation?

DJing isn't talent nor is it entertaining

>>82457133
They want the gogglebox audience. Absolutely nothing about this is authentic anymore. See this dancing.

>>82457133
The audience need to know what to think

Look at Alesha acting like she's ethnic

>>82457130
They put acts through because they know they will never get past the selection process.
Shit format desu

Why does alicia act so black?

>that patois speak
Holy shit cringe

>>82457179
i just gave you a clap m8

>no next week on BGT
wtf

also
>tfw my sister were seriously considering watching the Keith and Paddy CA knockoff show instead of Memehern kino

>doesn't matter that you can't mix

isn't that the point of being a DJ might as well just have a playlist

>those contortionists came all the way to Britain to go through to the next round with the ISIS impersonator, Hoop Guy and a senile DJ

Well that was shit, see you next week lads

not much time to switch to itv2 lads. bgmt started before the credits for bgt even finished

Anybody remember this classic?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5IIGpmAiq0

>>82457133
>>82457196
>>82457203
That transition happened a few years ago

Simon hired one of the writers/producers from TOWIE

That's why you see cutaways to see these totally real, totally unscripted, crystal-clear audio snippets of people in the audience giving their opinion

>>82457303
it was Brighton. what do you expect.

>>82457303
Put ITV2 on. BGMT is the superior show

>>82457294
Ahahaha

>>82455740
it was never good you nonce

>>82457277
Eurovision final is next week lad.

>>82457335
Forgot to say that happened on both X-Factor and BGT

>>82457309
That's why we shud just skip the mains show altogether and go straight for the better show with Mulhern

>>82457294
Once they lose, they can claim asylum by claiming they're gay and stay forever

>>82457349
My mates just put on Michael fucking macintyre

>>82457387
BGMT is funnier

Are we supposed to just pretend that Keith Lemon isn't a character anymore?

>Alisha will never manhandle you and shout in your face

>>82457412
MM is about as funny as childhood cancer

>dabbing Chads

imagine if they tried getting the 4 female contortionists to strip off like this

fucking hell what is this degeneracy

>>82457424

That's what you were always supposed to do.

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>It's a Medic episode
>LE IS HE GOING TO DIE

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>This is why we have one viewer
>tfw Medic roasts Mullers

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>Keith and Paddy on ITV at the same time as BGMT

JUST. Keegan may make a qt Princess Leia but it's the ITV Hub for them.

>the actual talent isn't on the main show

>you need to hav an account to use the itv player
>you don't need an account to watch on tv app
It wasn't like this before, wtf? Fucking why? I'm not just going to giv you my name and email address. FUCK YOU

>>82457818
just watch on illegal streaming sites

>ywn make fun of a thicc Kiwi and then slap her ass while cuddling with her

>>82457818
>>82457891
https://www.filmon.com/tv/itv2

>all the fun shit is relegated to the after show

wtf, why didn't I know about this before

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>>82457921
>ywn be a thicc Kiwi getting slapped on the ass by God Emperor Mulhern

>simon pimping out contestants to David Walliams

wat

howling at the spooning part and the first dates parody lads

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Mulhearn you absolute madman

Stop taking the piss right to his face

>Avicii
>Wake Me Up

You fucking bastard, you stole that shit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5DVhoel7AA

>I'll give you skirt-wearing ballbag-blowing subhuman fucks Independence... from this life with a FUCKING NUKE.

Seriously, Mulhern!?

>>82458181

You mustn't watch BGMT very much.

This Paddy show is fucking awful but also good.

>>82458216
First time, to my deepest regret

>>82458234
Wait till the live ones during the semis, you're in for a treat

What the fuck, /tv/

What happened to the /TMO/ threads?

>>82457891
They only let you stream live tv not catchup

>>82458355
/sp/ was the core userbase, and the mods killed /sp/

Eurovision threads will be shit too

>>82458358
Try STV Player

>>82458374
I remember /tmo/ being on /sp/ back in those days but then it Migrated to /tv/ adn wasn't that popular.

Has it died on /tv/ now?

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>>82458250
>tfw hiring a house band only to ignore and snub them
>tfw hiring JUST Tier celebrities to roast after every ad break

>>82458385
You still need an account

>>82458355 (checked)
Well, where were you?

>>82458470
I sadly work Saturday night and I miss /tmo/ otherwise I'd have kept it alive

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>there's two of them

I love Mulhern.

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>There is another Stephen Mulhern

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>Now there are TWO of them

>>82458491
we'll let you off then m8. hope work was ok

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>>82458583

>dat Pepe pose

>tfw last year's winner was doing equally amateur card tricks

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>>82458675

I don't know who these women are

Mulhern seems like the kind of guy that would do an acid attack on a random person.

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>Be Mulhern
>Dance to the Saturday Kitchen theme tune

Was it autism?

Fucking hell that joke from Dec.

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>Tom Hardy

>>82458756
Nah he'd do it to some slag that deserves it

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>>82458756

To be fair, Cat Deeley was a great guess there

>stv.tv
>not s.tv

>>82458982
>svtv
>not smtv

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLlkyBMSPX8

Oi didn't realise based Steven was in birmingham

>tearaway trousers

OH GOD NO

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>This old cuck

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>Amanda's face when this segment

I've been to scratchy bottom lads : )

That's tears it, next week's thred will be for the Mullhern show. Not that fake emotional crap

It's been a top couple of hours lads.

I'll be similarly trying to avoid any kind of socialising next week to be here with you all again. Cheers

Good thread this week lads, for some reason even though Mulhern is /ourguy/ the thread always stagnates during real kino hours.

It's simply unbelievable