I AM THE SENATE

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NOT YET

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I AM THE GUY

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IT'S TREASON, THEN.

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AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Educate yourselves you alt-right assholes

Senatus translates to "council of elders" from the word senex, which means "old man"

Sounds like a lot of patriarchal bullshit if you ask me

>>82447005
Ohh what id give for bane to tell me he was a big guy for me. I'd gladly open my asshole for him

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If I convert to Christianity would you die?

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>>82447115
It would be extremely painful.

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>>82447136
You're a big guy.

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>>82447162
For Jew.

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>>82447162

HE REFUSES TO MEME ME!

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I have brought peace, freedom, justice and security to my new empire

Impressive thread.

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I WILL BUILD

A GREAT BIG

BEAUTIFUL

W A L L
A
L
L

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>>82447618
I am the only person in this castrum that fought very, very hard against us going into Mesopotamia, because I said going into Mesopotamia--that was in 869 Ab Urbe Condita, you can check it out--I'll give you 25 different stories. In fact, a delegation was sent to my legion to see me because I was so vocal about it. I'm a very militaristic person, but you have to know when to use the military. I'm the only person up here that fought against going into Mesopotamia.

>>82447466
Pompey's not a Big Guy.

And I am not a hothead.

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Have you ever heard the tragedy of Emperor Augustus the Wise?

>No.

It's not a story the Senate would tell you. It's a Roman legend. Augustus was an Emperor of Rome so crippled and so wise, that he could use politics to influence the plebeians to create...monarchy. He had such a knowledge of the republic, he could even keep the political state he cared about from death.

>He could actually...save civilisations from death?

The Imperial style of government is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

>What happened to him?

Unfortunately...he taught his wife everything he knew, then his wife killed him with figs.
Ironic, isn't it? He could save Rome from death. But not himself.

>>82447488
And dubs

>>82448597
kek

>>82446940
>>82446994
>>82447027
>>82447115
>>82447136
>>82447162
>>82447488
>>82447618
>>82448231
this statues are FAKE

its a well know FACT that romans best kings where all persons of color

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>>82446940
THE SENATE WILL DECIDE YOUR FATE

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Stop being butthurt about things that aren't in your control.

>>82447005
Et tu, CIA?

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I'VE WAITED A LONG TIME FOR THIS MOMENT, MY LITTLE GALLIC FRIEND

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>>82447488
YOUR new empire?

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>>82448865
tibi.

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I remember the time when I conspired to betray old Gaius and had him stapped in the chest 23 times

He was a great general, and a good friend

>>82448597
10/10 post

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Everyone is mine to torment

>>82447115
god, late antiquity had shit aesthetics

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>>82449085
Those are otherworldly divine-inspired beyond patrician aesthetics you dirty provincial pleb. Roman art doesn't get shit until the 5th century.

>>82447357
>>82447162
holy shit

>>82447070
he looks like a troll doll lol

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EXECVTE ORDER LXVI

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>>82449117
It looks fucking laughable, this degenerate art from 300 onwards has nothing on the lifelike artforms of the high points of the republic and early empire. Just compare my pic to this masterpiece >>82447488

>>82448597
This thread is reaching levels of comfiness I didn't even know existed.

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>>82449319
>He doesn't like the stark aggressive style of late-Roman art

Fuck off Gibbon

>>82449493
looks like some bronze-age shit, absolutely degenerate

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>>82449010
Imagine being Nero in that marriage and having to be all like "damn, Poppaea Sabina, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your tight body and horrific androgynous monster face. I would totally kick you to death, both my feet and the real me." when all he really wants to do is compose another play in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Nero and not only sit on that throne while Poppaea Sabina flaunts her beautiful body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her bruises and leathery skin, and just sit there, execution after execution, hour after hour, while she perfected that marriage. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking tonality but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, EMPRESS POPPAEA LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her Mediterranean fucking wewuz face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of charred Roman remains and the blood of aristocrats and later alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE REIGN coming straight out of the boonies in Antium. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on her dimpled stomach as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in her "statuesque (for that is what she calls herself)" beauty, the beauty she worked so hard for with personal slaves in the previous months. And then the priest of Jupiter calls for another sacrifice, and you know you could kill every single person in this province before the Praetorian Guard could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Nero. You're not going to lose your future musical career over this. Just bear it. Hide your lyre and bear it.

>>82449966
nero was a filthy, revolting neckbeard himself, he doesn't fit the pasta

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*autistic screeching*

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>>82448876

My allegiance is to the Republic... to democracy!

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>>82448597
>Mark Antony has turned to the Gyppo side.

How can you even say that?

>I have seen reports of him...worshipping dogs and reptiles.

Not Antony. He couldn't.

>He was deceived by the sorceress Cleopatra, we all were. He blackens his eyes with soot like a prostitute.

>>82447488
You are a ferocious little cunt. With a meme.

>>82449598
>Degenerate

I don't think you know what that word means

>>82450043
And he was into traps/shotacon as well, it's like pottery

>>82450831
WE

>>82450831
WUZ

>>82450831
BAKERS

>>82450831
ROMANZ

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>>82448597
>Emperor Augustus, can you hear me?

Where are my legions under Quintillius Varus? Are they safe? Are they alright?

>It seems in his retardation...he killed them.

He-he couldn't have. They were on campaign, I ordered it!
QUINTILLIUS VARUS WHERE ARE MY LEGIONS

>>82446940
>i'll try naming myself dictator for life, that's a good trick

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>>82451996
>hey, it worked for me

In October 50 B.C, Caesar met with the families of Alesia victims. After a brief interview in which he expressed his condolences and hope for peace, he reportedly burst out laughing and made stabbing noises and mimicked two legions marching. He then picked up the child of a deceased Gallic leader and whispered into her ear "Your chieftain's dead, barbarian", and proceeded to put on a pair of laurel wreaths and unleash a barrage of Greco-Roman wrestling attacks on the small child. She was rushed to the medicus where she was pronounced dead due to extreme trauma. When asked later about the incident, Caesar became visibly militarily aroused and repeated the same attack on the scribe.

>>82452158
Witnesses report that while Caesar was visiting the memorial with his tribunes, Caesar asked the crowd gathering nearby what they thought of his Siege of Alesia. Allegedly, no one in the crowd had seen it because they felt uncomfortable going to the same province where this horrific genocide took place. Astonished and seemingly upset by this, Caesar forced the entire crowed into the fortress and made them reenact the battle. After a heated argument with the Senate, Caesar was finally able to convince the consuls to let him and the crowd reenact the battle in the same city where the massacre took place. One person described Caesar's behavior while watching the fight as, "erratic and horrifying. He [Caesar] would laugh and scream out to the legions 'That's me! That's me!' whenever there was someone playing him."

>>82452426
/ourguy/

>>82452426
In 49 B.C during his voyage to Greece (the purpose of which was to defeat Pompey) was sailing with his legions when a small slave child was dragged under the waves and began to struggle to stay above surface. As his co-stars rushed to help, Caesar held out an arm in front of them, stopping them and was reported saying by James Purefoy(who played the character Mark Antony in the HBO series) "The waves have claimed her, let her fight for her own life". The crew, dumbfounded, proceeded to watch her struggle until her body disappeared beneath the waves, lifeless. He was later spotted on the beach near Dyracchium, making drowning gestures and thanking the legions for their child's sacrifice to mighty Neptune.

I saw Cato the Elder at the forum in Rome yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him what he thought of Carthage or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “CARTHAGO DELENDA EST?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff at the baker's stall I saw him trying to walk out the forum with like fifteen North African elephants in his hands without paying.

The pleb at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Senator, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be making a speech and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the elephants and started checking it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to check them each individually “to prevent any Alpine infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she checked each elephant and put them in a baggage train and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by shouting "CARTHAGO DELENDA EST" really loudly.

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>>82447027

why is rocket raccoons face in that marble

>>82452158
>>82452426
>>82452726
Is he, dare I say, /hominenostrum/?

Sanders - Aurelius
Obama - Augustus
Clinton - Caesar
Warren - Hadrian
Trump - Caligula
Cruz - Nero

>>82453374
Obama - Pescennius Niger
Sanders - Commodus
Clinton - Caracalla
Trump - Caligla

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Apostle Petrus, I'm SPQR.

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YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER

>>82453588
Don't worry, thirty piece of silver for him.

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>>82453642
AAAHHH SAVE ME CONTANTINOPLE

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>>82446940
THEN YOU ARE DOOMED.,

>>82453374
>>82453492
Trump- Julius Caesar
Barron- Octavian
Bannon- Mark Antony
Kushner- Brutus

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>>82453741
IT'S OVER, HANNIBAL
I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND

>>82453374
What an insult to Augustus

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>>82453492
>>82453835
>SI-SI-SI-SI-SI-SI-SI-SI OKUS DOKUS

HE WAS A CONSOLE OF ROME

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>>82446940
>record scratch
>freeze frame
>"Yep, that's me. I bet you're wondering how I got here."

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>>82449188
Say that to my face not online and see what happens you alt-right nazi-lover

Obama - Julius caeser
>previous ruler, is worshipped by his party
Hillary - Antony
>expected successor to Obama, kinda went insane as she began to lose, people argue that she deserved to win.
Trump - Octavion
>won, dislikes roasties, mildly autistic,
Bernie - lepidus
>least powerful of the 3 expected successors to the previous ruler, no one respects him, eventually just threw the towel in.

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>>82457633
>>82453784
>>82453492
>>82453374

This is the Roman banter thread, not the I'm-an-immigrant-from-/pol/-fear-my-autism thread.

HE REFUSES TO BUMP ME!

>>82447162
IV V

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I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and in Carrhae it's everywhere.

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>>82458034
my apologies. Also i am not from /pol/ I just had to post the correct similarities.

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>>82454029

>>82448867
Perhaps he's wondering why you would torture a man before strangling him in the forum

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>>82446940
SPAIN?

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CRASHING THIS EMPIRE