YES YES WELL DONE SLYTHERIN

All your hard work this year, acquiring points legitimately? Lol fuck all that.
Neville you fat cunt, here's 10 points for being a fat cunt.

>>82440957

To be fair Snape just piled points onto Slytherin while docking them from everyone else.

>>82440905
HOWEVER

Malfoy, you're a fucking white male
50 points to Gryffindor

where's the pasta

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>>82441005

we aight?

>>82440980
>>82440957
>>82440993
What happened to the point system after the 2nd one?

>>82440980
>Granger you got a question right? FUCKING 50 POINTS FROM GRIFFINDOR
Whole school was corrupt.

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>>82440993

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>>82440905
YES YES WELL DONE SLYTHERIN, HOWEVER YOU'RE LOSING BY DEFAULT BECAUSE YOU'RE PART OF THE DULLEST FRANCHISE IN THE HISTORY OF MOVIE FRANCHISES. SERIOUSLY EACH EPISODE FOLLOWING THE BOY WIZARD AND HIS PALS FROM HOGWARTS ACADEMY AS THEY FIGHT ASSORTED VILLAINS HAS BEEN INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM THE OTHERS. ASIDE FROM THE GLOOMY IMAGERY, THE SERIES’ ONLY CONSISTENCY HAS BEEN ITS LACK OF EXCITEMENT AND INEFFECTIVE USE OF SPECIAL EFFECTS, ALL TO MAKE MAGIC UNMAGICAL, TO MAKE ACTION SEEM INERT.

PERHAPS THE DIE WAS CAST WHEN ROWLING VETOED THE IDEA OF SPIELBERG DIRECTING THE SERIES; SHE MADE SURE THE SERIES WOULD NEVER BE MISTAKEN FOR A WORK OF ART THAT MEANT ANYTHING TO ANYBODY?JUST RIDICULOUSLY PROFITABLE CROSS-PROMOTION FOR HER BOOKS. THE HARRY POTTER SERIES MIGHT BE ANTI-CHRISTIAN (OR NOT), BUT IT’S CERTAINLY THE ANTI-JAMES BOND SERIES IN ITS REFUSAL OF WONDER, BEAUTY AND EXCITEMENT. NO ONE WANTS TO FACE THAT FACT. NOW, THANKFULLY, THEY NO LONGER HAVE TO.

>A-AT LEAST THE BOOKS WERE GOOD THOUGH
"NO!"
THE WRITING IS DREADFUL; THE BOOK WAS TERRIBLE. AS I READ, I NOTICED THAT EVERY TIME A CHARACTER WENT FOR A WALK, THE AUTHOR WROTE INSTEAD THAT THE CHARACTER "STRETCHED HIS LEGS."

I BEGAN MARKING ON THE BACK OF AN ENVELOPE EVERY TIME THAT PHRASE WAS REPEATED. I STOPPED ONLY AFTER I HAD MARKED THE ENVELOPE SEVERAL DOZEN TIMES. I WAS INCREDULOUS. ROWLING'S MIND IS SO GOVERNED BY CLICHES AND DEAD METAPHORS THAT SHE HAS NO OTHER STYLE OF WRITING. LATER I READ A LAVISH, LOVING REVIEW OF HARRY POTTER BY THE SAME STEPHEN KING. HE WROTE SOMETHING TO THE EFFECT OF, "IF THESE KIDS ARE READING HARRY POTTER AT 11 OR 12, THEN WHEN THEY GET OLDER THEY WILL GO ON TO READ STEPHEN KING." AND HE WAS QUITE RIGHT. HE WAS NOT BEING IRONIC. WHEN YOU READ "HARRY POTTER" YOU ARE, IN FACT, TRAINED TO READ STEPHEN KING.

Why didn't Tom 'Voldemort' Riddle just make horacruxes out of 5 grains of sand and scattered them on a beach?

>>82441113

funy pasta

>>82441042
The main characters stopped giving a shit

>>82441120
They've gotta have deep personal meaning to the person and be a substantial size I believe.

>>82440993
>Due to certain rules imposed on us by Ministry of affirmative action, the more mudbloods a house has, the more points it gets
>6 million points to...GRYFFINDOR

How the fuck did they get away with this?

>>82440905
>Leftovers music starts playing

>Tfw have the first movies on VHS

>paid attention to one insignificant detail of the book and wrote down every time it occurred

Literally autism

>>82441150

What the heck is a VHS?

>>82441137
So why introduce it in the first place then?

>>82441139
Why didn't he throw them into the sea?
Or launch them into space

Why is the janitor deleting everything?

how the fuck were weasleys poor in a world where you can conjure shit out of thin air?

>>82441253
Because space is super safe, right?
>gets sucked into the Sun

>>82441253
Cause he likes it nasty!

>>82441186
>This is the state of /tv/ in 2017

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Reminder that this is canon.

>>82441253
Why do wizards go to a medieval castle for school when the rest of the world is modernized

>>82441285
Don't you need a special magic thing to destroy it?

>>82441313
Why does avada kedavra exist when there's a spell that can just make people vanish?

>>82441313
>SHITTUS EVAPATORIUS

>>82441313
God I love the books, so much lore. I wanna read all the books inside those books, that's how much of a good book they are

>>82441313
Im super hard right now just thinking about it. Imagine the smell.

Why didn't Harry just fix his eyesight with magic?

>>82441424
That's not part of the books, it's from Rowling's shit website where she makes up shit whenever she wants attention.

>>82441313
What if you have to shit before they teach you how to make things vanish? It's gotta be embarrassing to ask the teacher to basically wipe your ass with magic.

>>82441042
>>82441137
The realized it was no POINT

>>82441443
If Dumbledore, McGonagall and Mr. Weasley have eyeglasses, it's probably isn't fixable with magic.

>>82441113

I've missed this Italian meal

>>82441313
But what did young wizards and witches do when they weren't at Hogwarts? They aren't allowed to use magic outside of school before 17

what was the purpose of hufflepuff?

>>82441191
Do I need to post the pasta again?

>>82441472
meat shields and extras

>>82441472
I don't know, isn't that a Pokemon?

>>82441469
>mummmyyyyyyy I need my poop vanished again

>>82441284
You can't. The HP universe is flawed but you don't need to go make shit up.

>>82441473
I mean sure why not, are you really paying that much for Internet?

>>82441472
It's where you go when you aren't courageous, smart, or a villain

>>82441487
Isn't Pokemon Harry Potter?

>>82441313
but where did they vanish it too? They confirmed that food and shit can't just appear out of nowhere so the poop has to go somewhere too. Is there a mountain of wizard shit out there in world?

>>82441472
They used them to practice mindbreaking spells.

>>82441424
>implying rowling actually fleshed out the lore like that rather than just adding some flavour here and there to give the impression of history and culture

jej

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Who would be the quintessential Slytherin?

>>82441536
They literally answer that in DH

>>82441549
styxhexenhammer666

>>82441549
Me, because I'm intelligent, nihilistic, and have a wicked sense of humor

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>>82441549
literally me

>>82440905
This scene pissed me off, what a petty and manipulative headmaster. he doesn't deserve the job. should have been fired for clear bias.

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Why would Harry get put in Slytherin?
Also, if the sorting hat groups children based on their personality (and assumedly the personality of their future selves too), is a semi-deterministic world canon?

>>82441549
4chan
Elitist, thinks there better than everyone, contrarian, greasy, pure blood

Reddit is griffindor

Git hub is ravenclaw

9gag Is huffle puff

REVEALIO

>>82441623
Because the hat sensed Voldemort's soul within him, don't forget Harry was a horcrux too

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>>82441610
>whaaaaaa Dumbledore is biased
>but Snape is totally ok

Slytherincucks are the worst.

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>In one of the rare instances of wizards copying Muggle practices, wizards started to adapt to plumbing systems in around the 18th century. Up to that time, wizards chose to relieve themselves wherever they stood, and then proceeding to Vanish the evidence.

>>82441623
Because he has cunning, resourcefulness, and a tendency for rule breaking. (speaking relatively - Rowling's characters are all dumb)

>>82441253
wizards dont believe in space

>>82441658
Im not defending Slytherin but announcing the winner but then adding on a shitload of points for the most bullshit reasons and changing the winner to your favorite house is cruel as fuck.

>>82441284
you cant conjure food or money out of thin air

>>82441700
Snape was cruel as fuck to Gryffindors as well. Dumbledore was just evening the balance.

>yfw you realize Harry Potter was literally a chad, he was a trustfund baby, a jock, and in the most popular house in school

>>82441652
If Harry was a horcrux then how did he come back to life, wouldn't nag ini have come back to life as well then?

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What would Voldemor's tax policy look like:?

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>>82441734
>yfw you realize this is the intellectual level of the people you talk to

>YES YES WELL DONE SLYTHERIN
>You outperformed the other houses in both studies and sports
>However, thanks to 3 students and the completely circumstantial position they were in (by also breaking school rules) we must change the points
>150 point points to.... GRYFFINDOR
>and an extra six million because Neville did almost nothing
Bravo Rowling

>>82441752
He had the Stone of Resurrection

>>82441734
b-but broken glasses!

>>82441731
>two wrongs make a right

smells like nu male in here

>>82441768
He'd have a hefty spell tax but would give tax exemption to wizards practicing dark spells

>>82441707
Why do you need money when you just conjure things? Don't forget transfiguration is canon too.

>Oh no, we have no food
>Turns a piece of rubbish into a chicken
>Problem solved

>>82441731
We don't know how the other teachers treated Slytherin regarding points. Slytherin seems to be hated by almost everyone else so it's not too out of reason to believe they got cheated on points somewhere.

>>82441734
Except he only had two friends and half the time everyone hated him, and not becuase they were jealous, but becuase he legit fucked up or they were afraid of him.

The boy who lived and the chosen one was popular, Harry wasn't

>>82441781
He dropped it before getting habana can debra

>>82441253
imagine you can download your soul/memories to a back-up drive, meaning you could achieve a longer lifespan by uploading to a new body when old one dies.
why would you throw your back-up drive to the bottom of the sea, when you probably want to be able to access it one day?

some of the horcruxes were given to his most loyal followers for safekeeping, with most of them not knowing what they actually were handed.

Why didn't they just kill every kid that got sorted into Slytherin? You're almost infallibly a bonafide cunt if you get sorted into that house. The error rate would be minimal, and then you'd have a world without cunts.

Just saying they're missing some obvious opportunities.

>>82441838
>meaning you could achieve a longer lifespan by uploading to a new body when old one

That's not how Horcruxes work. And you replied to the oldest bait in the book anyway.

How do they balance house numbers? If one year, you have 50% of the intake who are all nerds and get put into Ravenclaw, surely that will have ramifications, whether it be a larger playing pool for quidditch players, more potential for house points (although potentially offset by the potential to lose them) as well as posing some issues for accommodation. Do they have a pre-sorting to ensure this doesn't happen?

>>82441848
Because then everyone will ask the Hat not to go there, and you won't be able to tell who the bad ones are, while their influence will corrupt the other Houses. The current system lets you monitor all the little sociopaths in one place.

>when professor McGonagall said that the only thing that stops a bad guy with a wand is a good guy with a wand

what the fuck Rowling?!

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>>82441313
>DESIGNATED
>SHITTING
>CORRIDORS

>>82441817
are you kidding? he was popular, every girl wanted to be with him. nevermind he chose an ugly redhead

>>82441848
because that'd be literally holocaust

>>82441917
He barely found a single date to a dance

>>82441113
>ayn rand
>god-tier
>camus
>god-tier

>notes from the underground
>low-tier

shit list 2bh famalamazoid

>>82441443
Same way in chamber of secrets when the idiot tries to fix harry's arm on the spot and fucks it up
i imagine a anatomy/physiology and magic don't work well

Why didn't rowling write a bit of cheeky homosex with harry, ron, and the twins

>>82441917
>he chose an ugly redhead

In the books Ginny was the hottest girl in school.

>>82441949
>He barely found a single date to a dance

No, he actually had random girls asking him out, but he obsessed over the Chink pussy.

>>82441949
still one more than every person on this board

>>82441949
in the movies maybe, but I remember in the books all the girls wanted to date him. there is a girl who tries to poison him so he would be with her

>>82441953
No they actually have amazing ways of curing every injury, but for some reason can't fix eyesight.

>>82441052
WATCH IT SLYTHERIN

>>82441313
Is there a wiki with entries about chairs?

>>82441952
>anon
>new-teir + meme-tier

fuck off 2bh famfagot

>happy childhood memories
>big castle
>jovial feasts
>rustic atmosphere
>fireplace dorms
The first three Harry Potter films are so fucking comfy, I watch them all the time for good feels

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>>82441313

>>82441536
It goes to the kitchens where the little jew slaves do whatever they do with human feces.

>>82441988
>there is a girl who tries to poison him so he would be with her

Yep Romilda literally tried to rape him. Bravo Rowling.

>>82441848
The whole fucking House setup was a missed opportunity.
Harry should have been in Slytherin, Hermione should have been in Ravenclaw, Ron should have been in Gryffindor, and Neville should have been in Hufflepuff.
Harry would have had to deal with constant hazing from his house while trying to prove that Slytherin is about more than being a complete cunt for no reason, and his friendships would have been about breaking stupid traditions and rejecting the status quo, which would fit with his anti-pureblood supremacy views.
Guess when the last time I had sex was.

>>82442028
The third movie fucking ruined it, it may have been the best movie but it took the style to a dark path and not in a good way

>>82442064
Sounds faggy as shit.

reminder that it is Harry who is the one that ends up doing unforgivable curses. Not based Draco.

'house of crawling' #homopotter

>>82441449

Seriously. They even have law enforcement making sure that underage wizards can't use magic outside of school. Imagine being 16 and having to call your mommy to make your turds vanish for you

>>82441993
why don't they just cure cancer?

>>82442082
>based Draco

How to point out a virgin.

>>82442090
Because fuck muggles and fuck Dumbledore.

There is literally a slave race in the HP universe and the main character doesn't really seem to give a shit.
He kinda just frees dobby on a whim.

>>82442112
He actually has a slave of his own

Rowling is a crypto-Conservative

>>82442098
Draco is a nice character. a little more complex than harry, Ron and hermione

>>82442133
Kek.

>he's edgy and then becomes angsty and conflicted, so complex, literally just like me!
>#crawlinginmyskin

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>>82441469
>>82441313
>be a muggleborn
>meet a real life wizard
>get told that I have powers beyond what I thought was even possible
>I'll be joining a secret world where anything can happen
>turn up to the new school
>there's a giant fucking squid in the lake
>the portraits and armour are moving
>meet my new dorm mates
>they're telling me all about this new world
>just about to ask where the toilet is
>suddenly one of them casually squats down and unleashes an unholy tide of shit all over the beautiful carpet
>suddenly a teacher turns up, points his wand at it and says "faeces deleces"
>mfw

>>82441472
From the Sorting Hat's song in the fifth book:

>Said Slytherin, “We’ll teach just those
>Whose ancestry is purest.”

>Said Ravenclaw, “We’ll teach those whose
>Intelligence is surest.”

>Said Gryffindor, “We’ll teach all those
>With brave deeds to their name,”

>Said Hufflepuff, “I’ll teach the lot,
>And treat them just the same.”

...

>For instance, Slytherin
>Took only pure-blood wizards
>Of great cunning, just like him,

>And only those of sharpest mind
>Were taught by Ravenclaw

>While the bravest and the boldest
>Went to daring Gryffindor.

>Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest,
>And taught them all she knew,

Literally Hufflecuck

>>82442133
draco and snape were interesting characters but they were also both irredeemable assholes

>>82442145
so you're saying harry and Ron are better than Draco? They were Two dumbasses

>>82442153
snape is undoubtedly /ourretard/
fuck off

>>82442170
Yes, they were better, because they weren't tryhard nazi little shits and actually tried to better the world. Also they were relatively intelligent compared to everyone else in the wizarding world who couldn't figure out anything that was going on.

>>82442112
> race of slaves
> everyone mocks Hermione when she tries to improve their working conditions
> the book outright states "nonono, they WANT to be slaves"
> Irish kid is named Seamus Finnegan
> Indian kid is named Parvati Patil
> Asian kid is named Cho Chang
> Jewish kid is named Anthony Goldstein
> The Weasleys are an absurd irish stereotype

I'm genuinely surprised the black wizard wasn't called Nigger Jim, Rowlish is racist as fuck.

>>82442198
>>Ron
>>intelligent

pick one

>>82442145
>he was a kid doing mean kid stuff
>he became a teen who wanted to impress his peers and not disobey his parents
>at the end he knew what was happening was wrong but went along with it because of peer pressure

>>82442175
M8, the only thing that differentiates him from /r9k/ is that he had marketable skills

>>82442204
>I'm genuinely surprised the black wizard wasn't called Nigger Jim

No, but his father left his mom when he was little.

I'm not making this up.

>>82442204
and they then returned int life ordinaire, thus proving my playwthinyoureallgayidea (stabsposterthruoutsidespace) eeccehuomo

>>82442175
Snape is the WORST. Becomes an allegorical Nazi because a girl's boyfriend was mean to him then after leaving said allegorical Nazis becomes a teacher in order to treat vulnerable children like shit.

What a fucking waste of time that could have been filled with more interesting characters.

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>>82442152
>Said Hufflepuff, “I’ll teach the lot,
>And treat them just the same.”
>is a fat woman
huh wow

>>82442261
Hufflepuff was talented.
That excludes her from Tumblr by default.

Omitting Peeves is probably the best decision in the movies. That a pointless waste of time.

>>82442261
>house ghost is the "Fat Friar"

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>>82440905
richard harris dumbledore = most comfy dumbledore.

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>>82442236
proofs

>>82441313
>>82441536
Why didn't Voldemort just make every single one of his turds a Horcrux?

She should apologize for the Ron and Hermione pairing. It just didn't work

>>82442333
In the movies, maybe, because the directors completely changed the characters. In the books it was obvious for years.

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>>82442319
holy shit

>>82442333
she did apologize. She said harry and hermione would have had worked better

>>82441836
Yeah but he like used it or something then left it behind so voldy wouldn't find it

>>82442152
So how the fuck did hermione end up in gryffindor?

>>82441472

Slytherin- Hillary Clinton

Ravenclaw- Ted Cruz

Griffindor- Trump

Hufflecuck- Bernie Sanders

>>82442282
I liked him in the pc games.

>>82442364
She didn't say that.

>>82441038
ESCARGOT

MY CAR GO

150

SWIFTLY

wreck it buy a new one

>>82442384
https://www.google.it/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/books/2014/feb/02/jk-rowling-hermione-harry-ron-married

she did

>>82441113
I love this shit

>>82441349
>Don't you need a special magic thing to destroy it?
The heart of a fucking star almost certainly counts as magical.

>>82441795
>>Turns a piece of rubbish into a chicken
you cant do that either idiot

>>82442405
No where in there does she say that Harry and Hermione would've worked better. If you'd read the books, you'd realize that Harry didn't find Hermione interesting or attractive at all, and was often bored with her or treated her bad, Ron was much more into her.

>>82442378
t. the_donald

>>82441042
Books still had it. Sure after the second movie they stopped wearing robes and started wearing blue jeans. The film makers got fucking lazy.

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>>82442152
Maybe the hat can't know what the child will become and sorts on a random equal-chance basis and makes up bullshit for mystery points to make the children believe
And then the Ravenclaws become studious bookworms, the Slytherins evil opportunists, the Gryffindors reckless airheads and the Hufflepuffs normal people because they believe the hat's mystery bullshit

5D Quidditch

>>82442378
Gandalf - Gryffindor
Saruman - Slytherin
Radagast - Hufflepuff
Blue Wizards - Ravenclaw

>>82441322
Most wizards are basically ignorant to technology beyond like, locks, dude.
They had no need to innovate because they can just magic shit up.

>>82441313

EXPELLIUS SMELLIUS

>>82441993
But in chamber of secrets, even the nurse doesn't fix it with a flick of her wand, she gives him a potion to help speed up recovery. That's still not fixing it easily

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>>82442204
>irish kid is named seamus finnegan
i never picked this up as a kid despite being irish, now it's making me shit myself
>mfw the rest of the side character names
characters who'd never be made today

Harry has a redhead fetish because her mother being a redhead, with whom he never properly bonded with. So in the end he just ends up choosing another redhead to fill the void.

Rowling is not exactly subtle...

>>82442676
Fuck off, fanfic.net

>>82442606
>eating bushmeat
And that is why we have HIV.

>>82441042
Gryffindor won in Book 3, implied victory in 5. Not mentioned in the rest.

>>82441139
They don't, Voldie picked those things in particular literally because it was cooler that way.

>>82442676
this is some freudian shit

>>82441372
Because the spell that makes living creatures vanish is super hard.

>>82442090
Maybe they do, wizards can live to 140 or something. Or maybe they have a racial immunity to cancer.

>>82442375
The Hat considered putting her in Ravenclaw, but changed its mind for whatever reason.

>>82441191
More uplifting end for the first one I guess.

>hey Harry, it turns out that guy who killed your parents is still at large and looking for ways to revive himself
>so here's a spectacular prize!

>>82441536
>Vanish poo
>Poo-elves magic it into food
>Wizards conjure the food and turn it back into poo
Cycle of life man.

>>82442242
That's not why he became a Nazi.

>>82442422
You actually can, but I dunno if it won't revert to rubbish if you kill it.

>>82441752
cos voldy didn't kill him, he killed the horcrux inside him. so the horcrux died and harry lived

>>82441752
Plot armor aka the Elder Wand refusing to kill its true master.

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>>82442319

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>>82442319

>>82441586
AND I SHUPOSH GRYFINDOR ISHOF THE TABLESHWELL?

Was it kino?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=351Aa5q_S98

>>82442152
Why do people hate Hufflepuff when it had based guys like Cedric and Ernie McMillan?

>>82443070
bacause it's filled with useless and irrelevant people

>>82443070

it's basically Rural and Suburban Retards: The House

>>82443097
so it's 4chan's house

>>82443097
>>82443122
>Cedric
>retard, useless and irrelevant

>>82443133
The reason Cedric is so notable is because he's practically the only useful person to come out of Hufflepuff. He was their one shot at glory and he got killed like a bitch.

>>82443133
he was just good looking and popular but he was still useles, in fact he gets killed

>>82443239
Useless to Harry doesn't mean useless in general.

>>82441752
Harry got shot by a magic killing spell, nagini got her head chopped off.

The killing curse killed the bit of Voldemort's soul, and it just kills one soul a pop.

Nagini got decapitated, killing her, and by extension destroying her as a horocrux, killing the bit of soul in her.

>>82442324
best fucking idea
horcruxes for days

now im in for some comfy 2000s movies with the same atmosphere

anyone got some recs?

>>82443315
Yes, kill yourself you tasteless fuck

>>82442076
At least it had comfy snow

Why do they even bother living with humans? Why don't they use their magic to live in the sky or the moon or something?

>>82443357
i-it's just for nostalgias sake

>>82443401
Rowling is a talentless hack and excels at making magic unmagical

>>82443404
Kill yourself even harder mother fucker

>>82441980
Ginny being the hottest girl in school happened out of nowhere in book 5. Before that she was basically a useless plot device. Its awful, hamfisted writing and obviously made up as Rowling went. If she was really beautiful, why wasnt she described in terms of beauty or even prettiness in the earlier books? Beautiful girls were, for instance Fleur in book 4.

>>82442204
>Indians, Irish and Asians dont have Indian, Irish and Asian names in real life.
>The Indian should be named Mary Johnson and the Asian N'Golo Bukenga

>>82443133
He was just a chad. Big, good looking and of normal intelligence. Got bigged up because of his stature and looks, but killed like a bitch like would happen in a world were no talent people arent put on a pedestal and carried through life on their good looks.

>>82441469
just shit on the floor and leave it there

>>82442089
joke's on you, I already do that

>>82442152
>second half doesn't rhyme and the meter is fucked up

BRAVO ROWLING

>Gryffindor

>standard good guy on the surface, until you realize he felt the need to steal a Goblin sword when he had a fucking wand

>Slytherin

>Standard retard, the reason that wizards aren't able to rule the world because he made a large amount of wizards not want to breed with muggles

>Ravenclaw

>Once again, normal on the outside but instead of teaching made a hat of smartness

>Hufflepuff

>Boring choice, but probably the only one qualified to teach/be within 100 ft of children

How do people not realize that hufflepuff is the best house?

>>82443883
They're all incredibly stereotypical names, especially Cho Chang, which isn't even a real name (Korean surname and a Chinese surname) but was probably picked because "ching chong" would be a little too overt..

>>82442375
Because PLOT

>>82442846
What about wizards who had worms? They couldn't vanish their poop and it just layed there writhing with worms?

>>82444622
>implying anyone named Salazar is a retard

>>82443775
It's meant to convey Harry finally realizing he wants his friends sisters pussy, but Rowling is shit at writing

>>82441113
This for sure has a spot in the top ten copypastas of all-time

>>82441052
jıhadd

>>82441052
>TAKBIR!
This explains so much about Rowlings universe where all the money grubbing Goblins have long hooked noses too

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>>82443070
>Ernie
>based

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>>82441052
By Allah, may those Slytherin burn in Fiendfyre.

>>82441472
Cedric Diggory was a hufflepuff though. Obviously the most worthy pupil from Hogwarts year four

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>>82441313

>>82441641
Bodybuilding forum.net?
Pisoga.com?

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>>82441313

>>82442294
Apex kek

>>82441113
holy fuck who wastes all there time typing this

>>82445842

Misc is just a sub-set of 4chan. They'd be the Slytherin Quidditch team

>tfw I would be Ravenclaw but I would probably be the dumbest Ravenclaw there

>>82446045
their*

>>82442542
She gave him a potion to regrow his bones because the fucktard removed them instead of his shit.

>>82444622
>steal a Goblin sword
>steal
(((Goblin))) detected, go back to eating your cave mushrooms Grugnut. Your kind isn't welcome here.

>>82440905
Do wizards pay taxes?

>>82446983
>implying (((the ministry))) doesnt tax wizards

>>82447011
Where do wizards get money? Is there any work besides ministry and Hogwarts?

>>82447313
Running a store I guess? These really do seem like the only employment options

>>82447313
From the (((goblins))), unless they want to mine the gold themselves and then pay the goblin run banks to mint it into useable coin.

>>82441427
Degenerate

>>82441120
You need to find them to resurrect.

>>82442149
> faeces deleces
This needs to be a meme.

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>>82441472
>fat founder
>fat house ghost
>dorms are right fucking next to the kitchen

How people don't see huff n puff as the stoner faction amazes me.

I mean 14 year old me who barely knew about dude weed lmao saw it.

>>82441795
>reading comprehension
Literally mentioned as being impossible. 5 laws of transfiguration.

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>>82441453

>>82441038

>9gag watermark
>Just a normal pic

For what purpose

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>>82441313
>>82441536
necessary

>>82447855
Literally Huff'n'Puff

>>82441961
>be innocent teenager me
>read HP books because I like the universe and there are only 4 movies
>Ron's brother Bill is introduced, google him
>first image is a fan art of Bill fucking Harry
people like you made my childhood scary

>>82442375
>>82442895
Also Neville, Crab and Ron should be in Hufflepuff

>>82447855
Adding to this:
>has the only hippie founder, all others had a main goal, hufflepuff "just wanted to teach kids lmao"
>by far lowest number of notable wizards

>>82448473
>child googling with safesearch off
>anything being other people's fault

>>82443973
>Diggory
>of normal intelligence
Alastor wants a word

>>82441472
Cocksleeves

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>>82441186
VHS= Video Holographic System

Aka "laserdisk", basically they were the precursor to bluray.

>>82444622
>How do people not realize that hufflepuff is the best house?
But I do

>>82443484
Upset child.

>>82447313
Bank, stores, newspapers, Quidditch, St. Mungo's Hospital, writing and selling books

>>82444622
Because people fail to realize that people aren't based in houses based on what qualities they have but on what qualities they admire most. That's why, say, Peter Pettigrew was placed in Griffendor, not because he was brave but because he hung out with Harry's dad and his friends who had courage that he admired. Slughorn was placed in Slytherin because he admired those with skill and power but he also showed compassion and bravery of his own. Luna Lovegood was placed in Ravenclaw despite believing in some dumb fucking shit, not because she wasn't intelligent, but because she admired intelligence and magical discoveries above all else and so was inclined to believe in things that didn't have much basis.

So Hufflepuff isn't for students who aren't brave or intelligent or ambitious but instead students who admire things other than just those qualities.

>>82441052
fgsfds

>>82449266
To add to this, that;s why Harry was placed in Griffendor instead of Slytherin. Not just because he was brave but because he literally asked not to be put into Slytherin. He may have had at least a degree of ambition and power but he didn't value that enough to be placed in Slytherin.

>>82441038

>WE WIZ WUZARDS

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>>82441313
no way, it's not in my book and i have a first edition

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>>82449266
JUST TRY AND FUCKING SOURCE THAT YOU FLIPPANT FAGGOT

>>82441848
The same reason we don't just kill all black people. Crime rates would go down and IQ would go up.

>>82442873
iirc dumbledore was much older than that at the time of HP. Wasn't he still relatively old even during the time of Magical Beasts? That guy was his supposed ex-SO and he looked mid forties or even fifties, which could also be a slightly less aged version

>>82450377
It's self evident as I explained by using examples from the book. You just weren't paying attention and fell for the meme that people are sorted based on their qualities and not what they admire.

why didnt dumbledore just riverdance voldemort into mordor

>>82446003
Nobody does, it's a fucking pasta.

>>82443973

You sound mad.

>>82440905
What was Dumbledor's tax policy?

>>82442397
I laughed

>>82451123
Redistribute the wealth to Gryffindor

>>82441113
That's what I call bait.

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>>82441113

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>>82441313

>>82441313
>Albus, my son...

>>82451303
>no citizen Bane
One job.

>>82441186
stands for "Vor Home Showing"
fun fact: they had to settle for Vor instead of For because FHS was a copywritten term for a porn company called "Families Having Sex"

>>82441113
>in all caps
And here I thought this pasta couldn't get any worse

>>82442478
>never hugged kissed or had sex with a girl
it is just a meme that people like this posts here right?
right?

>>82441038
IT WAS ALL A DREAM

USED TO READ QUIBBLER MAGAZINE

H
O
E
R
V
E
R

>>82441253
Why don't all the Wizards who hate Muggles just go live on the Moon or something?

>>82442064
Rowling wanted to do this at first, but she dropped the idea because it wasn't convenient that Harry's friends had different dorms and classes than him.

>>82441113
It's funny because it's true

>>82442064
an infinite amount of time has passed

>>82442475
>they stopped wearing robes and started wearing blue jeans.

This was a mistake!

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>>82441562

>>82457033
I heard his dong is like a foot long, is this true?

>>82441313
DESIGNATED

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Choose.

>>82458000
would hufflepuff

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>>82443051
Absolute kino.

>>82458000

Ravenclaw is objectively the best one, but I feel drawn to the Slytherin because I know she would treat me bad and part of me, a part I hate, wants that.

>>82441313
what about first years who didn't know the poop vanishing spell? did they have to wear diapers?

>>82458000
ravenclaw and checked.

>>82458000
Ravenclaw easily

>>82458000

Gryffindor is still the best

>>82458224
Slytherin chicks are objectively the most loyal.

>>82458683

Only as long as you provide maximum utility.

>>82458778
>Voldemort dies or whatever
>Hellen Bohamm-Carter still wants his dick

>>82458927

>wanting the snakedick of the Heir of Slytherin and the most powerful warlock alive who always believes in her heart will return from the dead

Utility.

>>82441038
BIGGIE SMALLS THE MILLIONAIRE THE MANSION

>>82459253
Malfoy's mom was loyal as well.

>>82459458

He was a billionaire King and wore a cape! Of course she was!

>>82442378
Fuck off back to /r the donald

>>82458000
Ravenclaw
Literally no contest

>>82452575
Of course it is we've all had the sex

TO ALL THE WITCHES IN THE PLACE WITH STYLE AND GRACE ALLOW ME TO LACE THIS LYRICAL DUCHES IN YOUR BUSHES

>>82449299
Classy

>>82452575
Have you ever been to /r9k/? Or /pol/ for that matter?

>>82449299
That's an old meme

>House of sinister, snakelike people represented by a snake
>called SLITHER-in
>because snakes slither

WOOOW
well done Rowling
10/10 writing

>>82442478
>Maybe the hat can't know what the child will become and sorts on a random equal-chance basis and makes up bullshit for mystery points to make the children believe
>And then the Ravenclaws become studious bookworms, the Slytherins evil opportunists, the Gryffindors reckless airheads and the Hufflepuffs normal people because they believe the hat's mystery bullshit

I believe this is correct. If it were based on character alone, houses would probably become very different sizes, especially Slytherin which would get smaller and smaller probably

>>82441752

Few things can destory a horcrux, among them strong magic from the creator of the horcrux. When Harry "died", he actually didn't. Voldemort killed his own Horcrux (that he didn't know existed), that is why he almost passed out upon "killing" Harry.

>>82440980
that was all part of the act

>>82462200

What actually happens is the hat magically alters the personality, memories and mind of the children who put it on. That's how they keep the numbers equal. They randomly send 25% of students to each house and alter their minds accordingly so they will fit in there.

It's literally the only logical explanation for all houses being identical sizes.

>>82441042
nobody really gives a shit except the young kids.

>>82441641
>Reddit is griffindor
everything about the way reddit functions as a website is the opposite of bravery

>>82442475
>t.anon who never went to a uniform school
They were still shown with robes after the second movie. You can have more than one set of uniform at a uniform school, after the second the robes were retconned into attire for formal events like assemblies, similar to how uniform schools use blazers.