The Blacked Tower (JFMBU EDITION)

>>82391705
The book series itself was a fucking abortion, I don't know why anyone is even getting upset about this. Has anyone actually read the books? They are garbage. It reads like some autistic asshole wrote a crossover fanfic that included all of Stephen King's stories, but the twist is the autist is King himself, and he included himself as a character in the story. Fucking talking trains and shit, like what the fuck? It's like the Cowboy was just jumping from book to book meeting random ass characters that didn't really fit into the story, but were thrown in anyway. I'd rather watch a crossover between Underworld and Fast and Furious directed by George Lucas staring Adam Sandler.

>>82391833
>I'd rather watch a crossover between Underworld and Fast and Furious directed by George Lucas staring Adam Sandler.

FUND IT

>>82391833
>a crossover between Underworld and Fast and Furious directed by George Lucas staring Adam Sandler.

But that's an awesome idea and basically on the same level as the dark tower.

>>82391833
fucking thank you. All these faggots the normies love GRRM, Stephen King, Rowling etc need to have shitty interracial movies made from their work forever and ever until they are hated like the star wars prequel

So did any of you watch the trailer?

>>82391909
>>82392054
I'm on it boys. I got Netflix on speed dial

>>82392146
No I'm not a sjw tumblr redditcuck

>>82391909
Now that I think about it, I kind of want to see a crossover between Fast and Furious and Underworld.
>Toretto takes a contract from a mysterious man only calling himself Lucian
>Has to transport mysterious suitcase across the country from LA to NY
>Is hunted by strange people in all black leather
>The Fast and Furious crew discovers they are in the middle of a vampire/werewolf war
>During a high speed chase a Death Dealer's bullet passes through the suitcase into Toretto's side
>whatever was inside infected him, and as he's driving he begins to change, his eyes start glowing
>They deliver the suitcase successfully, but Toretto decides he wants to lead the Werewolves
>He crowns himself Lycan-King, and changes his name to.....RIDDICK.
>He loses the battle, and the werewolves cryofreeze him or something.

I guess it kind of hurts that I've only seen the first Fast and Furious and first Underworld.

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>>82391705

Looks alright. It's honestly a dice roll because they're taking something that is essentially unfilmable with its mix of genres and tones spanning...what, 30 years of writing? And trying to make it into one thing. I mean I love the booKS for this kind of madness, but audiences sperg out when they see capeshit try to be serious, much less a fantasy horror western.

They get kudos for fucking trying honestly. And there's some cool moments in the trailer.

>>82392096
>used the word normies unironically

LOL

>>82392223
Got any other buzzwords?

>>82392241
It always was hard to explain to a normie what the dark tower was all about

>WELL UH YOU SEE

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Nothing can be worse than King's fucking atrocity of an ending.

I'm absolutely serious. People have died waiting for this series to end. People held onto life for the last book in the series. And they got the worst ending in the history of the literature. Not hyperbole; this shit was R.L. Stine levels of BULLSHIT.

>>82392674
The last book was good. The best one, IMO.

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>>82392863

You are seriously making me hyperventilate right now.

Holy fuck.

>>82392241
>they're taking something that is essentially unfilmable with its mix of genres and tones spanning...what, 30 years of writing? And trying to make it into one thing.
And that's probably why it's going to suck.

>>82391833
agree with this opinion. the gunslinger was decent, but the story goes off the rails once the talking train enters the picture.