You have 3 wishes /tv/

I wish this thread was never even made

>>82279903
I wish you were made out of rainbow sprinkles and every minute you pooped out and vomited a ball of some random Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor.

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>get Doctor Manhattan's powers
>also Charles Xavier's powers
>The Thing prequel stuck with practical effects

I want a Choco Taco

>>82279903
>1 I wish for the genie's friendship and blessing
>2 I wish that Cherry Coke was sold in redder cans
>3 I wish /tv/ was deleted and everyone who posted there banned.

>>82280584

Wow you're REALLY dumb
>wish one
>Dr Manhattan doesn't exist, now neither do you

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>>82279903
> 1. The top lawyer specializing in genie law to negotiate on my behalf in perpetuity for every wish I might request in the future (and retroactively, for any wishes I may make in the past)
> 2. Revocation of the no more wishing for wishes clause, negotiated by my lawyer(1)
> 3.

>>82279903
1. Kill all jews
2. Kill all niggers
3. Kill all spics

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>Anna is my wife and we have kids together
>Elsa is my sister and helps us raise the kids
>We all have pure illuminati dynasty blood going back to the pharaohs so we can live whatever life we want

>>82279903
>get a gf who can somehow love for what I am.
>Wish my family never have to worry about anything ever again.
>Know what happiness feels like

If I had another wish and ask for Israel and the rest of the middle east to vanish but that may happen because of the third.

>>82280269
wish granted, and now you have no wishes because this thread didn't exist
>>82280428
wish granted, but every flavor is a random person's poop flavor
>>82280739
wish 1: granted
wish 2: granted, but they are only sold for a limited time, and in Saudi Arabia
wish 3: granted, but now there is /kino/
>>82281671
wish 1: granted, but the lawyer has been paid off by me beforehand
wish 2: the lawyer fucks you over and makes you into my sex slave for all eternity
>>82281784
wish 1: granted, anyone with even 0.0000001% of jewish blood is killed
wish 2: granted, anyone with even 0.000000000001% african DNA is killed
wish 3: granted, there are no longer any people left on the face of the earth
>>82281847
wish 1: granted, but she is a lesbian and refuses to have sex with you after both your kids are born with Zika
wish 2: granted, they are all immediately executed by firing squad
wish 3: granted, you feel it for a half second and then never again

>>82282289
Where's my choco taco, you faggot ass son of a goddamn bitch?

I wish I knew what to wish for

>>82282289
>but every flavor is a random person's poop flavor
I was too specific, they have to be Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavors or you are blatantly going against the letter of the wish and not merely twisting it into something perverse and scary.

>>82282474
No, I'm pretty sure he kept it within the boundary of the rules. By making it so that the only flavor of ice cream is poop-flavored, anything that tastes like ice cream would also taste like poop.

>>82279903
kill every human being on this planet

>>82282556
But Ben and Jerry's don't sell poop flavored Ice Cream.

>>82282474
I make my poop ball molten hot, you are unable to eat it. I poop out fossilized balls of ice cream that break your teeth when you try to bite it. the poop ball is infinitesimally small, you can't even see it with a microscope. the poop ball is so large it collapses into itself and forms a poop black hole. the poop ball is laced with cyanide, syringes, AIDS, and dingleberries, but still ben and jerry's flavored.

you cannot win this

i wish someone would link me an amc stream desu

>>82282719
That's more creative.

>>82279903

Anybody who isn't 100% Northern European is killed.

Don't need second and third wishes. Life is perfect.

>>82282695
But he's making it so that Ben and Jerry's does sell poop flavored ice cream, and only poop flavored ice cream. You said his poop has to be random b&j flavor, so that should still work. Imagine if you randomly picked something out of a b&j freezer. Now imagine that I removed all flavors and replaced them with poop. You would always then randomly select poop.

I wish you were completely good and would grant wishes to people properly as stated through common sense, and could never think of anything twisted or evil or anything that could be considered sinful. You could only wish people good things.

After this, now that I wish for nothing.

My parents rented this movie on VHS when I was a kid, I saw a glimpse of the monster on the tv and I got scared

>>82282979
I wish you stopped being such a faggot

>>82283110
This

>>82282851
>I wish you were completely good
thats one wish, I'm subjectively speaking, completely good, and now everyone but me is completely evil
>and would grant wishes to people properly as stated through common sense
thats another, now I will grant wishes that are commond sense
>and could never think of anything twisted or evil
thats your final wish, since I am subjectively good and everyone else is evil, no one can wish for something in their interests now

>>82279903
Kill all jews
Kill all muslims
Kill all niggers

Kill everyone.

>>82283194

You just committed a fallacy and a sin by turning everyone evil.

BE GONE!

>>82279903
I wish that you fuck off forever and never come back to this planet and that I come out of our encounter completely unscathed

>>82282289
You're fucking awful at this

>>82284182

He's already defeated and sent back to Hell for being good then turning everyone evil. He has violated the code and has been banished.