ITT: We post our favourite stand up comedians.

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Aaron Hernadez?

>>82136682
wasnt this dude an mma fighter?

>>82136682
Schaub bless brother.

>>82136682
i thought he hanged himself

there's nothing I hate more than Rogan's talentless comedy clique

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>>82136682
THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO PLUG IN YOUR BLENDERS, HEAT UP YOUR FLOTATION TANKS TO SKIN TEMP (35.5*C)

THE WEED HAS BEEN LIT AND IT'S TIME TO SLAM YOUR KALE SHAKES, TAKE A TOKE & MARK OFF YOUR CHECKLIST

TO POP YOUR:

ALPHA BRAIN
SHROOMTECH
KRILL & MCT OIL
PRIMATE CARE PILLS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22GjkJw0WXk [Embed] <---- HIT PLAY NIGGA

>YOUR FEAR FACTOR THEME SONG ALARM BLASTS THROUGH YOUR HOUSE

>YOU INSTINCTIVELY JUMP INTO YOUR HOMEMADE OCTAGON, FITTED WITH BATTLE-ROPES AND A "WRECKING BALL" STYLE CHIMP KETTLEBELL ACTION COURSE

>AFTER YOUR INTENSE WORKOUT YOU CALL OVER BRIAN REDBAN USING TING BEFORE GETTING INTO YOUR ISOLATION SENSORY DEPRIVATION FLOTATION TANK AND PACKING YOUR MOUTH TO THE BRIM WITH POT BROWNIES FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS BY COCONUT WATER ENEMAS JUST AS THE DMT KICKS IN AS YOU LISTEN TO DUNCAN TRUSSEL AND GRAHAM HANCOCK HYPOTHESIZE THAT THE PYRAMIDS = ALIENS AND THE ARK OF THE COVENANT IS HIDDEN IN UGANDA

DUDE BOOOOM LMAO

DUDE KETTLEBELLS LITERALLY ENCRUSTED WITH WEED AND DUNKED IN MCT OIL AND THROWN OFF BUILDINGS FEAR FACTOR STYLE

>"BRENDAN SCHAUB JUST END IT ALL, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FIGHTER AND I HATE YOU, BUT COME BACK ON THE PODCAST SO I CAN BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER AGAIN AND REDUCE YOU TO TEARS"

>"BRENDAN "FRASER" "FUCK MY SHIT UP" SCHAUB, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. YOUR CAREER IS OVER. IT'S TIME FOR THE SMITH AND WESSON RETIREMENT PLAN"

Joe Rogan, 2015
>YOU ARE NOW PICTURING JOE ROGAN NAKED IN A FLOTATION TANK WITH A MOUTH FULL OF POT BROWNIES TRIPPING

Brought to you by SquareSpace©
cue the hempforce mustard

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>>82136787
>Implying that he doesn't surround himself with with the funniest stand up comiedians on the industry

You are just jealous.

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>>82136744
>>>/heem/

DUDE ______ LMAO

Went to see Rogan, Callen, and Shaub (among others) at the comedy store earlier this year. Out of the 3, Rogan is funniest. Schaub was the second to worst comedian of the night. Only some fat latina chick that talked about being a whore was less funny, but I wouldn't argue with anyone who thought she was better than Shaub.

Rogan wasn't the funniest one though, Theo Von blew everyone out of the water.

Like there's any contest
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4m5HLVwsco

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performing at McDonalds April 31st

>>82138663
Rich "The Boss" Vos

>>82138663
degenerate unfunny kike

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>Not having the most important human of the 25th century as your favourite comedian.

Why do they all have the same head shape?

How can Eddie actually belive the earth is flat

>>82136682
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pssNKDrKVo#t=03m20s

What did he mean by this?

>>82138840
I wonder (((((((why)))))))

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He is a beast.

Marc Maron is a kindred spirit to me. I'm fairly sure we have the same disorders.

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>schaubs whole family is white
>schaub has the body and hairline of a Mediterranean subhuman
Why is this?

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>>82136682
>Schaub posting on /tv/
That's just great.

>>82136787
i hope youre not including ari shaffir and tom segura wth schaub and callen

>tfw you feel a Schaub coming on so you squat down and push a fat smelly Schaub out into the Schaub receptacle but there's no Schaub paper to wipe the residual Schaubs from your Schaub hole
my Schaubs have been quite messy lately, quite messy.......any advice for helping my big browns break down better?

>>82139126
So you pretend to have disorders to make yourself seem at least somewhat interesting and get laid since you don't have a single thing going for you?

>>82140817
dlt-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df3blZzXTL0

No Dave Chappelle? David Chappelle!

>>82140959
>Supporting the artistic comercial endeavors of Debediah Chappelstein

>>82136682
the one that goes "SDRUMPF"

>>82140817
t. one of Marc's exes

>>82141007
No, somebody who cares about comedy and can see through Maron's scam.

>>82141034
What made you specifically hate him so much? I'm curious.

i really hope shawb posting becomes a thing

>>82141069
Boy, you sure project a lot. Try reading my post again. Maron pretends to be neurotic, because he is a failed 80s comedian who was never interesting. That's it. Doesn't mean mommy and daddy hate each other and it doesn't mean their divorce is your fault, slugger.

What's /tv/ think of Jimmy Carr?

>>82141123
You're sperging out about him, yet don't hate him? You're an odd duck, Anon.

>p4p best mma fighter of all time and would be champ in the USADA testing era
>world's most downloaded podcast
>millionaire
>left NFL because it was too easy for him
>joe rogan's disciple in standup, quickly becoming the GOAT
>white, handsome, beautiful wife and healthy children
>6'4

is there anything this man can't do?

>>82141126
He's funny if you don't care for the craft of stand up comedy or originality. He's an "offensive" "comedian" for normies. (Still better than Schumer)

>>82141126

Has a fantastic wit, but gets a bit predictable and stale when he goes dirty, as he is wont to do.

>>82141126
wanker

>>82141146
Why so defensive, Marc?

>>82141190
I'm not. I can understand if he's a fraud, but it still speaks to me. I asked why you hated him because you're acting severe. If you're just an ornery guy I can definitely empathize with that.

>>82140231
Holy fuck those legs

>>82141199
I'm an asshole. Unlike Maron, it's not an act. It's a legit character flaw

>>82140231

Can I get a quick rundown on these two?

>>82141298
Me too. No hard feelings. Take care of yourself.

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Unironically,Jerry Seinfeld.His observational,clean jokes are /comfy/ as fuck.

>>82141920
People who don't understand comedy shit on Jerry, but he has mastered observational comedy. I think he must be an alien or autistic to be so good at viewing mundane things the way he does.

>>82142095
Are any other comedians similar to him?

>>82142167
Brian Regan, Jim Gaffigan

>>82140568
>tfw segura's podcast is just joe rogan's with all the unfunny faggots and alex jones conspiracies removed

>>82142219
I would have enjoyed Caffigan a lot more if he didnt only talk about food...

>>82142374
he talks about his kids and just being a fat slob in general. the food bits are the most popular because most people can relate but dude is funny.

>>82142374
True.

>>82142219

Regan has good jokes, but I cannot stand how hard he hams it up. Gaffigan is basically just a fatter version of the same shtick.

>>82142095
>People who don't understand comedy shit on Jerry
Who shits on Jerry? never in my life have I heard someone say something negative about him.

>>82136792
I really wish this didn't make me laugh every time I read it.
It was the "Kettlebells dipped in MCT and thrown off a building fear factor style" that got me this time round.

>>82141126
Very good at telling other people's jokes. He doesn't steal from other people, it's just there isn't a molecule of originality in anything he does.

>>82142620
Wow, I wish I was you, you are surrounded by perfect people

LIKE
LIGHTNING
OUT OF A
GUN

>>82142732
He basically tells street jokes, then waits for hecklers so he can shut them down with canned responses

>>82138663
"how much can you bensch? on the maschine?"

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>>82136696
Fpbp

>>82142219
I like your taste.

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>>82136682
>>82136744
>>82140609
>>82141160
>Schaubposting outside of /heem/
Cancer.

>>82144158
what the fuck is schaubposting

>>82140987
Well technically he's a fucking Muslim

His recent special was good but the 2nd one was meh

Glad he's back hopefully he does another show on Netflix like Chappelle show but I doubt it

>>82144218
Think of the Dr. Who threads on /tv/

/heem/ is like that: 2 or 3 anons who samefag the same shitty memes every day

>>82144262
sounds terrible
why do people go there?

>>82144158
Holy shit you post on /heem/? Who are you?

>>82136715
He was neither.

>>82142620
I've seen it a lot here

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He won an oscar and no one I talk to knows about him

>>82136792
Needs more WE'RE LIVE BITCHES

>>82144830
POWERFUL anon

>>82142563
Jokes like the wrong bird call at the golf tournament bit only work if it's hammy as fuck.

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Saw him live for free on campus right after Comeback Kid came out. Was just as good as the specials with entirely new jokes.

>>82144925
I like him on his show Nathan For You

>People unironically responding to a based Schaub thread

>>82145174
More like "Take Joe Rogan's 4 inch dick to the base" Schaub

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>>82142910
All the Birmingham people all down there. Dead from the fall but with third degree burns, because on the way down they spilled hot Bovril on themselves.

In a canyon in the eighties under Thatcher, remember?

>>82139102
My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch “Schindler’s List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can’t believe it only happened once.

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schauby dooby ree got them shook

Schaub is God

>>82140231
That guy must have some kind of condition with those legs

>>82144925
too much tuna?

>>82141126
Ha ha ha ha ha HAAAWW

>>82144297
/heem/ is love

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I really like this dude.

He tries too hard to land a role on the next Big Bang Theory and not enough time working on stand up. It is smart though I guess, not a ton of money in stand up.

>>82137028
callen has the worst stand up i've ever seen. he just talks about how he wants to be tough and moves around a lot. saw him live and didn't laugh once.

>>82146400
I actually thought his last special was decently funny. He's much funnier than Rogan.

>>82146400
He hangs out with that Dane Cook wannabe D'Elia fag too much, that's why

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>>82136682

is Bungo Scoob a good fighter?

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>>82136682

Is Brumpton Spleb a good comedian?

I'm a big fan of Tim Vine and I won't let any of you faggots tell me different

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doug and junior

>>82147548
You're not a big fan of Tim Vine

>>82147731
LOL that greasy old pollack Junior Stopka.... How'd you hear of him?

>>82147731
GET OFF OF 4CHAN, MAGGIE

>>82138885
He's craaaaaaaazy bro

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>>82147774
DELETE THIS RIGHT NOW

>>82138663
I KILL RICH VOS

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>>82149367

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>>82149367
>RICH VOS

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My main mommy Tommy of course

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WAIT...

has schaub posting really migrated all the way to /tv/?

how blessed are we... amazing

schaub bless